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Character and the Self-Care Mastery Revolution

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Character, Kids, and Marriage: The Problem with Put-Downs

Individuals develop character. Families develop character too. If put-downs cause pain and lower the character in your home, keep reading.

Are your kids using put-downs with you and with each other? Do you wonder what it would be like to be free of "put-downs" in your marriage and family? Now there's a way to rid your home of put-downs and build character too.

Years before I was a child and family counselor, I taught elementary school. I'll never forget what one intelligent little boy once said to me, "My mom told me to never be a bus driver like my dad. I'm much smarter than that." Five months later his dad ended his own life.

Can you imagine the painful put-downs in that family? What kind of family character once lived and died inside their home. Now the little boy and his younger sister were without a dad.

Put-downs are powerful. If you put your partner down with mean comments, your children will notice. Don't be surprised if they put you and each other down with mean comments too.

Put-downs are dangerous. Sweep them out of your life. Don't let them creep back into your comments.

Remember that saying, "God doesn't make junk?" When you put-down your partner and your children, you are telling them, "You aren't good enough. You are junk."

Rid your home of put-downs. Take my no-cost e-course, "Parents Stop Fighting! Save Your Marriage Now!"

You'll learn the steps to saving your marriage and your family. I'll show you exactly what to say and what to do. No more fighting. No more put-downs. Find out more at: http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/e_course.asp


Character Building within Your Marriage – How to Stop Fighting!

Is your marriage heading downhill? Do your children cringe when they hear you fight? Do they wonder, "Are mom and dad getting a divorce? Look inside to stop the fighting and save your marriage now.

Imagine living in a marriage where you state a problem, feel heard, listen in return, and get your problems solved. No more drowning in black thoughts. No more fighting!

Oh, I know. People say, "Fighting puts passion in our marriage. It airs our dirty laundry. We get over it."

Look, who's fooling who?

When your partner puts you down, you remember the cruel words.

When your partner dictates, debates, and demands, you feel the sting and you remember. Stress builds. Tension tightens.

When your partner threatens, shouts, and explodes, those words pierce your heart. You remember them.

If you're like most people, you boil inside. You go over those words again and again. You think of what you wished you'd said but didn't. You don't forget.

Fighting doesn't save your marriage. Fighting hurts you and it hurts your partner too.

First Set of Marriage Tips to Practice:

  1. Keep track of and analyze your conflicts.
  2. Pay attention to the consequences.
  3. Talk with your partner.

To learn more about stopping the fighting and how to save your marriage, sign up for my free e-course entitled, Parents, Stop Fighting! Save Your Marriage Now! You'll learn how to solve your problems without the fighting. Your children will stop cringing. They'll stop worrying about the "D" word too.

What are your thoughts about fighting? How do you solve your marriage problems? Feel free to leave a comment.

 


Character Building: Avoid the Marriage Power Trap

 

 

Category    Character Building

 

If you find yourself taking charge of your relationship, imposing your opinions, and pressuring your spouse to do your bidding, you're caught in the marriage power trap. The good news is you can change. If you'd like to improve your character by breaking free from this power trap, look inside my eBook, Parents in Love – 121 Dating Ideas. Here is an excerpt…

The Power Trap Story:

A few years ago, a former client walked up to me with hugs and tears. My grandchild played on the swings while we talked. This woman, a dark-haired blue-eyed beauty, had come for counseling with her boyfriend when she was a teenager. Her parents had died in a car accident. Her boyfriend's family took her in.

Attractive, shy, and feeling trapped, she let her boyfriend drag her to counseling. He demanded that I tell her to obey him. He hated any signs of her independence. He wanted total control. After all, he planned on marrying her.

I must admit, I didn't like his attitude.

When I didn't oblige him, he left counseling. You see, he had no intention of letting his power go. He was totally trapped.

She remained. I wondered if she could rise above the pain of losing her parents. I wondered if she could break away from her controlling boyfriend. Could she make it on her own? After all, she was only 17.

She yearned for independence. But where would she go? How could she support herself? Little by little she began to speak up. Secretly, she made plans for her future. During her senior year in high school she…page 9.

If you think you might be too controlling and don't want to lose your partner, ask yourself these 3 questions:

  1. Do I think I know best?
  2. Do I feel upset if I don't get my own way?
  3. Do I make demands rather than requests?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, read the 7 power trap solutions on page 10 of Parents in Love – 121 Dating Ideas . When you let go of controlling your partner, you'll release yourself from the power trap. You'll treat your partner as an equal. Your relationship will improve. Your date nights will improve too. Best of all, you'll be building a more attractive character.

How do you handle power in your love relationship? Let me know. I'd like to know.

Jean Tracy, MSS shares 121 ways to enjoy a sizzling romance in her eBook, Parents in Love – 121 Dating Ideas. Find out more at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parents_in_love.asp and learn how to fall in love forever.