In our last blog, we discussed 3 discipline problems when kids are exposed to risky values with cell phones, violent videos, and the internet.
You might remember that Maggie's teacher told you about the cell phone pictures Maggie's sending the boys in her class. Doug is hurting the kids at school. He's addicted to violent videos. Cheryl's on My Space and is getting phone calls from strange men. What will you do?
As the parent, you have discipline choices. Consider the logical consequences below:
- Maggie begged for a cell phone. She intimidated you with her guilt, insults, and promises. Like so many parents, you broke down. One good thing, you and Maggie discussed, created, and signed rules for using the cell phone.
The phone you gave Maggie was loaded. It had everything. It was the ultimate birthday present. She was so happy. You felt great until the school told you, "Maggie is sending provocative pictures of herself to the boys in her class. The pictures are on the internet."
This is not the time to exaggerate Maggie's rights to privacy. This is not the time to defend Maggie to the world. This is the time to take the cell phone away. She broke the rules. She exposed herself. She'll experience long term consequences like scorn, disrespect, and she's put her future in jeopardy.
- Doug's in trouble for hurting kids at school. He trips them at lineup, punches classmates when the teacher isn't looking, and bullies younger children. Today he broke one kid's arm. The parents hired a lawyer.
You check the computer in his room. You're shocked. You thought he was doing homework. You learn he's addicted to violent videos.
Arming Doug with his own bedroom computer is like giving him a loaded revolver. The opportunities for trouble are wide open.
Tell Doug, "Using the computer is a privilege. From now on, it will be in the kitchen where I can see the screen. You can only use it for homework and when I'm home."
If you need to, lock it in your car when you're away.
- Cheryl's made tons of Facebook and My Space friends. Her pictures, profile, and messages are cute. Now she's getting calls from strange people.
You check her sites again. The pictures are revealing. The messages are risqué. Last night you caught Cheryl on the computer while your family was sleeping.
Cheryl begs you not to shut down her sites. She promises to clean up her act. Will you buy it? Or will you face her anger?
Again, draw the line. Be strong. Get the computer out of Cheryl's bedroom. Put it where you can see it. Only let Cheryl use it for homework. At night consider locking it in your bedroom.
Parenting is tough. Today's opportunities for trouble are great. Your kids and their danger don't matter to strangers. They want freedom. They chant, "First amendment rights!"
You need to care. You need to take charge, to face angry kids, and be strong. How else will you raise your kids with strong healthy characters? How else will you protect them?
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