Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com

Discipline Tips When Your Kids Tattle for Revenge

How do you discipline your child when she tattles out of revenge? If her tattling smells like jealousy, you know something ugly is cooking. Perhaps a boiling anger is bubbling within her.

Let's pretend your Jackie thinks little Bobby is your favorite. She whines, "You love Bobby more than me!"

Jackie won't play with Bobby. She won't talk to him either. She tattles whenever he plays with her things. You yell, "Let Bobby have it!" Jackie stomps off screaming, "You let him get away with everything." You've heard this more than once.

Why Jackie Tattles and What Jackie Wants:

To find out, ask yourself these 3 questions -

1. Is Jackie tattling out of revenge?
2. Does she want to get Bobby in trouble because she's jealous?
3. Do I show more love to Bobby than to Jackie?

The answers to these questions will help you understand Jackie's motives. Once you know, ask yourself, "How would I feel if I were Jackie?" Walk around in her skin for a while.

How Can Jackie Get What She Wants without Tattling?

Get down to Jackie's bottom line. Of course, she's jealous. Of course, she wants revenge. But what is it that Jackie really wants?

Jackie wants to feel like she fits inside your heart just as much or more than her little brother.

Discipline for Tattle Tales Who Want Revenge:

Don't give in to Jackie's tattles. Don't prove you love Bobby more either. Think before you handle Jackie's tattles. Realize that you're jumping in and scolding reinforces Jackie's tattling. Why? It proves to her that she's right. It proves you love Bobby more. It justifies her meanness to Bobby.

1. Be fair to Bobby and Jackie in what you say and do.
2. At pleasant times, go for a walk with Jackie. Ask her, "What do you really want by tattling on Bobby?" If she says, "I don't know." Ask her to guess. Get her to admit her jealously. Then discuss it.
3. Find ways to show Jackie you love her. Spend one-on-one time with her. Have fun. Let her know how special she is by often catching her being good. Don't be surprised if she treats Bobby better too.

If you follow these suggestions, you'll be giving Jackie what she really wants– your love.

Our next blog will deal with tattling kids who want to prove they're weak. To make sure you get it, sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and receive it by email.

I invite you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com Your Jackies and Bobbys will love spending fun time with you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Family Fun “Let’s Go Fishing!”

 How can fishing create family fun? Watch with pride as your Molly catches her first fish. Such feelings bring families together.

 

The Family Meeting

Use the family meeting to plan your fishing trips. Decide how each member will contribute. Together choose when to go, where, and who will be in charge of bringing:

• fishing poles                     

• small chairs            

• blankets

• picnic lunch                        

• bait                           

• sun screen

Even digging for worms can add to family fun!

Family Fun begins at the Family Meeting:

When you hold family meetings, you accomplish what no other activity can do better – create a loving close-knit loving family. Your family will learn to plan fun events like fishing trips. They’ll remember them too.

What’s your favorite family fun event? Please let us know in the comments section below.

I invite you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you subscribe to my FREE Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

In our next blog we’ll plan a birthday party. To make sure you receive it in your email, sign up for http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com

 

Discipline Tips When Your Kids Tattle for Power

How do you discipline your child when he tattles for power? Do you give in to his demands?

In a former blog you saw your David bossing his little sister, Stacy. Because he's older, taller, and stronger he feels entitled to tell her what to do. When Stacy rebels, David tattles.

"Stacy didn't clean her room."

"Stacy spilled her milk."

"Stacy won't help me pull weeds."

When you give in to David's controlling ways, and tell Stacy to do what David demands, do you ever feel guilty? Are you sick of David's bossiness? How will you handle David?

Why David Tattles and What David Wants:

So what else does David want beside power? Let's chunk it down.

David tattles because he wants to be more important than Stacy. He wants you to side with him. He wants you to love and respect him by letting him take the lead.

How Can David Get What He Wants without Tattling?

You know that letting David boss Stacy isn't good for David. It isn't fair to Stacy either. David becomes a dominating ruler and Stacy a loser. This is not what you want for their futures either.

Confide in David. Discuss the tattling problem privately with him. Let David know how you worry about him becoming a bossy overbearing person. Tell him you'll feel more proud of him when he drops the tattling. Ask him to help and encourage his little sister.

Then tell David to come up with 3 ways he can help and encourage Stacy without tattling.

Discipline for Tattle Tales Who Want Power:

If David says, "I don't know," tell him to stay in his room until he comes up with the 3 ways to help and encourage his little sister. He'll need to share those positive ways with you too.

Notice when David encourages Stacy. Be consistent and praise David when he encourages her. You might create a chart with stars for David that says, "My goal is to help and encourage Stacy."

If you do, you'll be giving David the love and respect he wants. You'll be teaching him to become a positive leader. You'll be helping Stacy too.

Our future blogs will deal with tattling for revenge, and weakness. To make sure you get them, sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and receive them in your email.

I'm also inviting you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com Your Davids and Stacys will love spending fun time with you.

 

Discipline Tips When Your Tattle Tale Kid Wants Attention

How do you discipline your child when she tattles for attention? Do your shoulders sag? Is she driving you crazy? Perhaps it's time to slow down and ask yourself, "Why is she tattling so much? "What's she getting out of tattling that's positive?"

Why Lori Tattles and What She Wants:

In our last blog, you found out that your Lori tattled on her brother, Ralph, to get your attention. She wanted to prove to her brother and herself that you'd take her side. She wanted to prove you loved her best.

How can Lori Get What She Wants without Tattling?

You know giving Lori more attention than her brother isn't good. You know that loving Lori more than her brother isn't good either. Here are 4 questions that will lessen Lori's tattling and give her attention.

• "Why are you coming to me?"
• "Do you want to get Ralph in trouble?"
• "How will that help you?"
• "What are better ways to solve your problem with Ralph?

After Lori answers the above questions, give her the task below.

Discipline for Tattle Tales Who Want Attention:

Tell Lori to write out her solutions for solving her problems with Ralph. Tell her to bring those written solutions to you. If she's too young for writing, tell her to draw her solutions.

If the solutions are acceptable, ask Ralph to come. Tell Lori and Ralph to act out each solution. In this way, Lori will be solving her problems and getting your attention too.

At other times, catch each child being good when they play nicely together. Use compliments. They'll both feel loved by you.

In our next blog, we'll look at suggestions and solutions when your David tattles for power. In the meantime, share your solutions for stopping Lori from tattling in the comments section below.

Our future blogs will deal with tattling for power, revenge, and weakness. To make sure you get them, sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and receive them in your email.

I'm also inviting you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com

 

 

 

 

Discipline Problems ~ Why Your Kid Tattles and Drives You Crazy

Do you have this discipline problem? Is your tattle tale kid driving you crazy? Do you know why your child tattles? In this blog we'll look at four reasons why most kids tattle. In future blogs we'll discuss how to discipline your tattle tale.

You tell your child, "Don't tattle. "Tell me only when there is danger." But your child doesn't understand the difference between tattling and danger. Maybe your child doesn't care. He has different motives for being a tattle tale. Do any of these motives fit your tattle tale?

Four Tattle Tale Motives and Discipline:

1. Attention ~ Perhaps your Lori wants your attention. She tattles to prove to herself and her brother, Ralph, that she's your favorite. If you punish her brother, she'll know you love her best. First ask yourself, 'Is Lori tattling to get my attention? If so, don't jump in asking her brother, "Did you do that?" What could you do instead?
2. Power ~ You recognize that your David loves power. He tattles to prove he's the boss of his little sister. If he can get you to make his sister do what he wants, he'll be even more powerful. Ask yourself, "Is David tattling to make his sister do what he wants? Does he want power over his little sister? If your answer is "Yes," what could you do about David's tattling?
3. Revenge ~ Jackie doesn't like her younger brother, Bobby. She thinks he's your favorite. She won't talk to him. She tattles whenever he plays with her things. When you yell, "Bobby, give it back!" Jackie smiles. Before jumping in, ask yourself, "Is Jackie acting out of revenge? Does she like getting Bobby in trouble? If so, what will you do?
4. Weakness ~ Keagen's older brother, Kyle, call's him a "crybaby." Keagen cries to get what he wants from Kyle. If Kyle says, "No," Keagen runs to you to tattle. Because Keagen's younger, you remind Kyle to treat Keagen nicely. Inside are you sick of Keagen's whining, tattling, and crying? If so, ask yourself 2 things. "Is Keagen getting what he wants by acting weak? Am I being unfair with Kyle?"

In our next blog, we'll look at suggestions and solutions when your Lori tattles for your attention. In the meantime, share your own solutions for stopping Lori from tattling. Our future blogs will deal with the other tattle tales.

To make sure you get our next blog, sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and receive it in your email.

I'm also inviting you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com

Discipline Tips ~ 14 Contract Rules for Cell Phones

Many parents have discipline problems when kids misuse cell phones. Some parents set up rules. Some parents don't. Discipline is harder when there are no rules.

In our last blog, you pretended Morgan, Caleb, and Caitlin were your kids. Morgan set her own rules for her cell phone; Caleb's teacher took his cell phone away; Caitlin commanded you to give her a cell phone.

Your task was to handle each situation as if these kids were yours. How did you do?

As a parent, you have discipline choices. First consider the contract below:

Before allowing your child to have a cell phone, create a contract together. Here are some rules you might include:

1. All contacts in the cell phone address book must be approved by Mom or Dad.
2. Texting may be done after homework and chores are completed.
3. No texting at dinner, during homework, family time, parent – child conversations, in school, or after 8 pm.
4. Cell phones will be kept with Mom or Dad after 8 pm and may be given the next day after school.
5. Web surfing is disabled.
6. When asked to turn off phone, it must be done immediately. If a second request is needed, phone will be taken away for a day.
7. There is a 2 hour limit for your cell phone use for the month. If you go over that time you must pay the bill before more cell phone time. Cell phone will be kept with Mom or Dad during this time.
8. Mom and Dad may review texts at a moment's notice. No arguing.
9. If gossip, bad language, or immodest pictures are taken, iphone may be taken away for a specific time period or permanently.
10. Grades must be a "B" or above to keep cell phone privileges.
11. Keep cell phone on when out with friends so Mom or Dad can reach you if needed.
12. We'll review this contract in 4 weeks to see if more cell phone privileges can be granted.
13. We'll review this contract every 6 months for even more cell phone privileges.
14. We agree to the above by signing our signatures here: ____________ _____________

With Morgan, who texted whenever she wanted, you'll need to face her rants and raves. You need to be the parent. She needs a contract.

With Caleb, this contract would settle his school problem. You won't be manipulated by him either.

With Caitlin, let's face it. She's too young. When she gets older, you can work out a contract then.

Whatever you do, create a contract that fits with you, your pocketbook, and your child. Make sure your child has some say too.

Don't miss our next blog about discipline and tattletales.

To make sure you get it, sign up at Parenting Skills Blog and receive it in your email.

I invite you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com