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Parenting Mistakes ~ The 7 Deadly Responses Children Hate to Hear


Girl not listening ~ hands over ears


Parenting Responses Children Hate to Hear

These parenting mistakes take little thought and children hate them. They stop conversation and kids feel put-down. Our parenting expert, author, and coach, Kathy Slattengren, will share the 7 deadly responses and their solutions.

"Listening is one of those skills that really doesn't seem like it's all that difficult. Why then do so many children report that their parents don't listen to them?

Maybe it's because there are a lot of ways for parents to unintentionally stop conversations with their kids. For example, if your child comes home from school complaining that she didn't have anyone to play with at recess, these types of responses will probably leave her feeling unheard:

1. Criticizing: "Well did you ask somebody to play with you?"

2. Labeling: "A lot of times you act like a little dictator and other kids might not like that."

3. Analyzing: "What did you do to try to get someone to play with you?"

4. Diverting: "Why don't you go play outside with your sister and forget about it?"

5. Reassuring:"I bet everyone in your class really likes you and they probably don't even realize they're leaving you out."

6. Giving Advice: "I think you probably need to ask someone to play who is all by themselves."

7. Lecturing: "When I was your age, I would just join whatever game anyone was playing. You really need to be brave and ask them to let you play. Tomorrow ask at least three children to play with you at recess."

These types of responses are considered roadblocks to conversation because they tend to shutdown communication. It is extremely easy to accidentally use these roadblocks when talking to children.

Solutions: If You Want Your Children to Feel Heard, a Better Approach Is to ~

1. Stop what you are doing.

2. Look at your child.

3. Listen carefully - pay attention to the body language.

4. When your child is done speaking, summarize what you heard.

When you summarize what you heard, you are giving your child the opportunity to clarify or correnct your understanding.

Good listening takes time, patience and attention. You can't full listen while also watching TV or working on the computer. Communication involves not only words but also body language, eye contact and tone of voice. So in order to understand your child's message, you need to both hear the words and watch how they are said.

Listening to our children while resisting the urge to jump in and solve the problem for them is not easy. However, often our children just want us to hear their concerns. They don't necessarily want our advice; they just want to be heard and understood.

Parenting Action Step:

Pick out five days where you will intentionally focus on really listening to your children. Write down something you learned each day from listening to your children.

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Kathy Slattengren knows about parenting. Her solutions for listening to kids are easy. Kids love attention and listening well gives it to them.

Let's give Kathy a BIG HAND for her wise solutions. 

 

Family Conversations Kathy Slattengren    Applause_18229118
 Kathy Slattengren

This excerpt was from her excellent book, Priceless Parenting Guidebook: Ideas for Handling Everyday Parenting Challenges

Cover Priceless Parenting

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for communicating with your child? Please answer in the comment link below. We want to hear from you."

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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10 Signs: Does Your Child Have a Learning Disorder?

 Boy studying
 Could Your Child Having a Learning Disorder?

Parents, if your child has a learning disorder, you need to recognize the signs. Expert blogger, Carol Watson, is sharing 10 Early Signs Your Child May Have a Learning Disorder. Does your child display these signs?

"In most cases learning disabilities won’t be identified in children until after they’ve been attending school for several years. Even then, the indications aren’t always obvious and consequently don’t present themselves clearly apart from formal training. Nevertheless there are some signs that parents can look for if they suspect that their child does indeed suffer from a learning disorder. Here is a list of ten such signs:

  1. Family History – For starters, a parent can identify risk based on heredity. Has there been a history of learning disabilities or congenital diseases which can lead or contribute to a learning disability?
  2. Substance Abuse by Parents – If either of the parents has had in the past or currently has a substance abuse problem, there is a higher risk of a learning disability in the child, particularly if the mother’s abuse continued through her pregnancy.
  3. Motor Skills – If a child shows slow development of gross motor skills (such as walking or standing), or small motor skills (like toes or fingers), this can be a precursor to a learning disability. Watch for these indicators during the first 6 months, particularly in combination with other developmental delays such as …
  4. Cognitive Skills – A child’s ability to recognize faces and retain information, such as repeating a phrase that he or she may have learned once already. An inability to learn skills typical for the child’s age may suggest an LD.
  5. Speech/Language – A child may display some difficulty expressing herself, or have a hard time understanding or recognizing letters or numbers. A doctor exam can isolate many of these cognitive difficulties and eliminate other possibilities such as hearing or vision problems.
  6. Poor Concentration – Although it is a separate issue entirely, ADD often is accompanied by a learning disorder and must be diagnosed separately. Yet a child who is dealing with a learning disability will frequently become distracted out of frustration.
  7. Delayed Speech – On the one hand, the child may begin speaking at a later age than should be expected; then there is delayed or faltering speech, in which the child struggles with correct pronunciation and the ability to express a thought clearly.
  8. Poor Retention – The child, for instance, may be able to follow along with a bedtime fairy tale reading quite well, but then not be able to discuss it in much depth afterward. Inability to recall information that was recently taught or shared is another potential warning sign.
  9. Difficulty Following Direction – A child with an LD might not be able to take simple instructions to complete a task. Bear in mind that most children with an LD have average or above average IQ’s, but simply lack the ability to readily apply it for some reason.
  10. Reading Comprehension– It is often difficult for a child with a learning disability to discern words, characters or be able to read effectively. Depending on the age of the child and the amount of schooling he’s received, reading ability can be a determining sign of an LD.

It’s important to point out that no one indicator is definitive proof that a child is suffering from a learning disorder. There are any number of other possibilities to consider as well. Only through careful observation and professional examination can a child be accurately diagnosed with a learning disability."

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We appreciate Carol Watson for bringing us this post. Connect with her at: National Nannies.

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for understanding  whether children have learning disorders? Please answer in the comment link below. We want to hear from you.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Character in Kids: How Stress Reveals Immaturity or Competence

Child Chores
     Stress  Brings Out Character in Kids!

Stress reveals immaturity and competence in kids. Today our parenting expert and psychologist, Dr. Partridge, shares the reactions of 2 children from different families in his book, Building Character Skills in the Out-of-Control Child. Find out who's immature and who's competent. Then ask yourself, "How would my child  react?"

Parenting Stories from Dr. Partridge:

Times of stress often flush out clearly definable elements of competence and contrasting immaturity in children.

1. Kelli was the nine-year-old daughter of neighbors. Recently her beloved grandmother died. When we dropped by to offer condolence, it was clear her loss was real. But bereavement seemed to bring out a new level of caring and responsibility.

"I don't know how I'd manage without Kelli," her mother said. "Last night she fixed dinner all by herself and cleaned up afterward. While I was at the funeral home today, Kelli vacuumed the entire house. She has taken full charge of feeding and diapering her baby brother."

While we spoke, Kelli entered the room and, without affectation, embraced her mother.

The sudden loss was bewildering and painful to Kelli. Nevertheless, she was acutely sensitive to the suffering of others.

2. Wendy, also nine, had been referred a few weeks before her maternal grandfather died.

The evening after the death, Wendy's parents had to visit the funeral home on short notice, and Wendy's favorite babysitter was not available. Wendy exploded with a half-hour tantrum.

As grieving relatives gathered at the home, Wendy drew attention to herself by refusing to wear any of the clothes in her wardrobe. She took advantage of the disruption in the family routine to clean out all the sweets in the house, balked at her routine chores and went to the neighborhood convenience store, which had always been off limits.

By the time her grandfather died, we almost had her behavior at school under control. Now she began acting out again in class.

Some thought she was displaying out-of-control behavior once more due to repressed grief. I thought it unlikely, however. Her grandfather had not been around enough for Wendy to really get to know him.

Wendy was  simply taking advantage of the pain of others and the confusion in the grieving family to wage an all-out campaign to retain infantile behavior patterns. Pages 25-26

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Which child is yours more like? If Wendy is your answer, please consider picking up Dr. Partridge's book, Building Character Skills in the Out-of-Control Child.  He has the solutions you'll need. If you follow his suggestions, everyone in your family will feel better including your "Wendy."

Building Character Skills in the Out-of-Control


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 Let's APPLAUD Dr. Partridge for helping parents with out-of-control children!

Dr. Partridge    Applause_18229118
 Dr. Partridge

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for creating family mottos? Please answer in the comment link below. We want to hear from you.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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8 Sentences Parents Use to Love and Empower Their Children

Mother and tween
Parents, Use These 8 Sentences to Love and Empower Your Children!

If you want to love your children for who they are and not only for what they do, you are on your way to becoming a conscious parent. Our parenting expert, Shefali Tsabary, PhD, blends Eastern mindfulness with Western psychology. Here are 8 suggestions from her book, The Conscious Parent, for loving your children for who they are. Why not start using them today?

"Allow me so suggest some of the ways in which you can let your children know they are accepted simply for themselves, quite apart from anything they do:

1. They are resting, and you tell them how appreciated they are.

2. They are sitting, and you tell them how happy you are to sit with them.

3. They are walking in the house, and you stop them to say, "Thank you for being in my life."

4. They hold your hand, and you tell them how much you love to hold theirs.

5. They wake up in the morning, and you write them a letter saying how blessed you are to get to see them first thing in the day.

6. You pick them up from school and tell them how much you missed them.

7. They smile, and you tell them your heart is warmed.

8. They kiss you, and you tell them you love being in their presence.

Whether you have an infant or a teen, your children need to feel that just because they exist, they delight you. They need to know they don't have to do anything to earn your undivided attention. They deserve to feel as if just by being born, they have earned the right to be adored.

Children who grow up with an intrinsic sense of "rightness" become adults who forever carry the imprint of inner connection and, consequently, emotional  sturdiness. They learn early that it's their spirit that means the most in a relationship, and it's this they will call upon to navigate their adult experiences.

Operating from this intrinsic connectivity, they don't need to seek validation externally, don't thirst for accolades, but celebrate who they are out of their own sense of validity."

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Let's DELIGHT in Shefali Tsabary and APPLAUD  her for this enlightening book!

  Shefali Tsabary, PhDApplause_18229118

Shefali Tsabary, PhD

Pick up her book ~ The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

Cover ~ The Conscious Parent

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for loving your children for who they are? Please answer in the comment link below.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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3 Mind Power Games: Teaching Kids to Pay Attention

Happy kids
Mind Power Games Help Kids Pay Attention

If  you want 3 Mind Power Games that teach kids to pay attention, stay right here. Our parenting expert, Ellen Galinsky, will share 3 games you may already know. Perhaps you'll play them with your children more often.

"Promote Focus-Play Games That Require Children To Pay Attention"

"1. Red Light/Green Light

In this game, one person plays the stoplight and the other children try to touch him or her. The child playing the stoplight stands about fifteen feet away from the other children, who are positioned at a starting line. The stoplight child turns his or her back to the other children and says, "Green light!" 

The other children move as fast as they can toward the stoplight child, who at any time can say, "Red light!" and turn to face the other children. Any child who is spotted moving by the stoplight child after a reed light is called  is out of the game. The game continues in this way. The stoplight child wins if all the children are out before anyone is able to touch him or her. If someone succeeds in touching the stoplight child, then that child becomes the stoplight for the next game.

2. Musical Chairs

Make a circle of chairs and have each child line up behind a chair. Then put on some music and remove one chair. The children cirle around the chairs while the music is playing, but when you stop the music, each child must sit down on a chair. 

The child without a chair is out. Keep playing, removing one more chair each time. Continue until you have only two children and one chair left. The child who sits down on that last chair when the music stops is the winner.

You can also play this game using pieces of construction paper instead of chairs. The object of the game is to stand on the paper.

3. Bell Game

(Adele) Diamond suggests a game used in Montessori programs. You give a bell to each member of the family:

The game is that you're all to walk. It doesn't matter what the formation is-you can walk in a circle or in a line-but the goal is that nobody should make a sound with the bell.

As the children get better at the game, you can up the ante: have the children walk faster or move in more complicated patterns. Diamond notes that this game is a good one to calm children down before bed." page 45

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Teaching kids to pay attention through fun games is an excellent way to build mind power. Ellen Galinsky, in her book, Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs shares countless ways to enhance your child's mind. 

 

Cover ~ Mind in the Making

Let's give a BIG HAND to Ellen Galinsky for her outstanding ideas in Mind in the Making.
 

   Ellen GalinskyApplause_18229118
   Ellen Galinsky
   
What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for fun ways to teach kids to pay attention? Please answer in the comment link below.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.


Do You Blame the Parents for Troubled Teens?

 Mom and teen jpg

Parents Aren't Always to Blame or Are They?

If you're the parent of a troubled teen, do you feel blamed by society? If you know you were a good parent, the expert authors of The Whipped Parent support you. Find out more.

"During the past decade, there has been an increasing focus on violence among youth. Recently, the severity of school violence has let to an intense, nationwide scrutiny of the crimes committed by children.

Blaming Adults for Adult Crimes

When an adult commits a crime, he or she is typically held responsible for the action by society and its laws. But when a child or adolescent engages in the same behavior, the tendency is to look for an adult who is at fault for the crime, especially if violence is involved.

Blaming Parents for Teenage Crimes

Typical questions:

As a society, we have a hard time accepting that children and adolescents may be violent. We want to view childhood as a time of physically  assaults a classmate, who is accountable for that act? If a thirteen year old chooses to sell drugs, who is ultimately responsible for that decision? If a fourteen year old refuses to attend school, who should be prosecuted?

The focus often comes to rest on a child's parents, and people point to the type of upbringing that was present. Do the parents take the child to church, help him with his homework, set rules and enforce them?

Do the parents monitor his television shows, listen to him and spend time with him? Do they do all the things that good parents are supposed to do?

Surprise! The answer to these questions is often yes.

Many children and adolescents who come from what appears to be a "good home" still make bad choices, push against everyone and everything, and even commit crimes.

Society has sent the message, loud and clear, that parents are responsible for their child's behavior. The definition of a responsible parent has changed over the years. Responsibility to feed, clothe, shelter, and love your child was the old days. Today you're held responsible for how your child behaves, what he says, what he looks like and how he turns out.

If your adolescent breaks the law, you'd better hire a good lawyer. Not for him - for you. You're the one society will want to prosecute. Just read the latest poll from any newspaper or talk show.

If a kid is violent or commits a crime, the first and loudest question asked is "Where were the parents?" If you have an answer, you may as well save your breath. It won't be good enough." pp. 26-27

The authors, Kimberly Abraham, Marney Studaker-Cordner, and Kathryn O'Dea, give us hope. You'll find out their solutions when you pick up their book, The Whipped Parent: Hope for Parents Raising an Out-of-Control Teen.

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Let's give a BIG HAND to the therapists of The Whipped Parent for their excellent work.

The Whipped Parent                      Applause_18229118

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping parents of out-of-control children who are blamed for their kids behaviors? Please answer in the comment link below.

 

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive:

 

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****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.


Research Suggests How Family Meals Can Benefit Your Teens!

Family Meal with Teens
            Family Meals Benefit Teens!
 

If research suggested that family meals helped teens avoid early sex, drugs, and alcohol abuse, would you eat together? Our parenting expert, Dr. Donahue, shares what research suggests in his book, Messengers in Denim. Let's find out what you can do.

Benefits of the Family Meal

"Too many parents, dads especially, only talk with their teenagers when they're reprimanding them for something they did wrong. Luckily, it's hard for people to be angry when they're eating. John O'Sullivan in his book The President, the Pope, and the Prime Minister quoted Pope John Paul II as having said, "Difficult problems can often be resolved over a meal..."  

The Relationship between Family Meals and Drugs, Sex, and Alcohol

When questioning teens, I found that those who ate fewer than five family meals per week were twice as likely to use drugs or alcohol or have sex while still in high school as those who sat down more frequently to eat with their family.

Other factors may have been involved, but a study of 527 kids in Cincinatti showed that those who ate five or more meals per week with their family were better adjusted and less depressed than peers who ate fewer than three family meals a week. Furthermore, the kids who ate family meals did better in school, were less inclined to use drugs, and had better social skills.

Where Drug Abuse Will Be Solved

Joseph A. Califano, Jr., chairman and president of Columbia University's Center on Addiction and substance Abuse, studied the association between family meals and drug abuse and concluded in their September 2007 quarterly report that"...preventing America's drug problem is not going to be accomplished in court rooms, legislative hearing rooms, or classrooms, by judges, politicians, or teachers.

It will happen in living rooms and dining rooms and across kitchen tables by the efforts of parents and families.

Why Family Meals May Be the Solution

Researchers aren't sure what accounts for the difference, but suggest that family meals may help kids learn to deal with the pressures of life and maintain a close relationship with family members. Sharing stories about the day's events and hearing how other family members deal with their stress may be the tools that help prevent adjustment problems."

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Dr. Parnell Donahue is an expert who understands teens well. He says he's learned so much from them in his work as a pediatrician. Pick up his book  Messengers in Denim: Amazing Things Parents Can Learn from Teens. You'll feel the respect he has for teenagers and why.

Cover Messengers in Denim

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for creating closeness at family meals? Please answer in the comment link below.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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10 Behaviors that Make Grandparents Say “No Thank You” to Babysitting

 Boy playing hand video game
 This Behavior Ignores Grandparents!

If you want your parents to babysit and they say “No Thank You,” too often, find out the 10 behaviors grandparents don’t like. This post was sent to us by Janet Golovine from the article, 10 Common Reasons Grandparents Get Mad at Grandkids. Let’s find out why your parents might say, “No!”

“Aside from you, no one loves your kids more than their grandparents. They just can’t get enough of their little blessings – spoiling and doting on them incessantly, right? Well, maybe not so much - at least not 100% of the time. They are human – and retired – after all. They’ve already had their run with raising kids, and as it turns out even grandparents have their limits. Here are 10 common reasons that grandparents get mad at their grandkids:

1. Questioning their authority – There are times when a grandparent’s ideas about discipline will differ from those of the parents. Kids know this, and it can lead to confrontations such as “Mom never makes us do this…”

2. Tantrums – There could be any number of causes for a child to act up, including the fact that you’ve left them in someone else’s care. Whatever the reason, there’s a possibility they won’t be the only one throwing a tantrum; it can send old Grandpa into a cranky mood as well.

3. Taking advantage of them – It’s not unlike the substitute teacher syndrome. Sometimes a child will act out simply because they recognize a breech in their usual chain of command, and spot a weakness or an opportunity to exploit the situation.

4. Unwillingness to go to bed – Grandparents frequently look forward to the kids’ bedtime hour a lot more excitedly than do the kids themselves. Regardless of whether your little one needs the rest or not, you can bet that your Mom and Dad certainly do.

5. Going AWOL – Older grandkids may not so much incur their wrath, but would almost certainly hurt their feelings, by choosing to go out with friends rather than spending some time with their grandparents.

6. Spending all night playing video games – Another way to strain relations is when the kid goes off to another room and gets lost in a video game for the rest of the night. It’s good to give the grandparents a break on occasion, but they would like to spend some quality time with the kids.

7. Not saying ‘thank you’ – Grandparents are by and large one of the most generous groups of human beings in the world. They love giving to, and doing things for, their grandkids. It wouldn’t hurt to let them know they’re appreciated.

8. Not wearing that Christmas gift sweater – OK, so maybe it’s not exactly in vogue. Alright, it’s ugly as sin; but they did go to the effort and expense of buying it for your child. At least dig it up out of moth balls for when they come for a visit. One day of wearing it around the house won’t kill them.

9. Comparing them unfavorably to the other set of grandparents - Nobody likes to be judged unfairly, or play second fiddle. Regardless of how much your kids may prefer one grandparent over the other; it’s impolite to say so. Even if it’s because of that butt-ugly sweater!

10. Being disrespectful – The generation gap being what it is, there is always a disconnect between what sort of behavior grandparents deem appropriate and what tends to be the prevailing norm for the present generation. It may take some adjustment from both parties – with the help of the kids’ parents – to reach a happy medium.”

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Let's THANK Janet Golovine for bringing us this article from http://www.grannynannies.net/ 

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping grandparents want to babysit your children? Please answer in the comment link below.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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  • 

****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.


10 Strategies: Teaching Kids To Be Grateful or Else!

Ungrateful Child

10 Strategies for Teaching Kids to Be Grateful

If you’d like 10 strategies for teaching kids to be grateful when they’re not, read these suggestions from Roxanne Porter. As our expert blogger, she’s sharing the article, “10 Ways to Handle an Ungrateful Child.” Which strategies do you like the best? Are there some you disagree with?

“10 Ways to Handle an Ungrateful Child”

“Jimmy Kimmel had his viewers give their kids yucky gifts and get video of their responses. The results were hilarious! Some children seem to have some pretty lofty expectations when it comes to getting gifts and can be less than gracious when they don’t get what they want.

Unfortunately, commercial advertising has greatly contributed to these high expectations especially during the Christmas season. How do parents deal with a kid who doesn’t appreciate the gifts they receive? Here are 10 ways to handle an ungrateful child.

1. Define gift – The first step a parent should consider is to define the meaning of gift to the child. Let him/her know that a present is not something they’re entitled to receive, but rather something given freely without expectation of reward. Explain that showing gratitude and hiding any disappointment is the least he/she could do.

2. Lesson in manners – This would be a good time for a teachable moment. Children need to learn what is and isn’t sociably acceptable behavior. A little lesson in proper manners would be in order by explaining what the proper response to receiving a gift should be.

3. Give gifts to charity – If your child is ungrateful for his/her gifts, go ahead and give them to your local charity. Make sure to take the child along when you do this and explain that there are plenty of less fortunate kids who would appreciate them.

4. Ignore it – If this is the first time this happens, especially if the gift is less than thrilling, you may just want to ignore the situation. Young children don’t have the ability to hide their feelings until they have the maturity to learn what is expected of them.

5. Return gifts – Of course, if your child really doesn’t like the present, you can just take it back. If you are the one who gave the gift, just keep the money or put it in the child’s saving account.

6. Exchange gifts – If it really was a disappointing gift, perhaps you can have the child exchange it for something else they like. Since this is common practice for adults, kids may as well learn how the process works.

7. Guilt – If this ingratitude becomes a repetitive problem, maybe a little guilt trip would be in order. Kids need to know that there are other children who are far less fortunate than they are who don’t get any gifts at all.

8. Shame – If guilt doesn’t work perhaps a little shame would be in order. Ask your child how he/she would feel if you didn’t like something they gave to you or someone else. Putting the shoe on the other foot may help them realize why ingratitude is not acceptable.

9. Threaten – If all else fails, you can always threaten to withhold any gifts on the next occasion. Remember, this will only work if you follow through. It may be a difficult thing to do, but empty threats won’t work.

10. Laugh– On the other hand, you can take a cue from the Jimmy Kimmel videos and just laugh. It’s not the end of the world if kids are unappreciative. You only need to be concerned if this behavior becomes a pattern or if your child has unrealistic expectations.

Whatever you do, don’t fall into a trap and let your kids make you feel guilty yourself. Parents can get themselves into financial trouble trying to fulfill their children’s unrealistic expectations. Kids need to know that they can’t expect to get everything they want. Even if you can afford it, it’s not healthy for children to expect their every wish to be fulfilled. There are always disappointments in life and children need to learn to deal with it eventually. A level headed approach plus a little humor can help diffuse an unpleasant situation and help your child learn the real meaning of giving.”

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Let's THANK Roxanne Porter for sharing this fine article.

Applause_18229118
Please connect with Roxanne Porter at
NannyJobs.org

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for raising grateful children? Please answer in the comment link below.

IStock_000007889732XSmall microphone

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive:

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****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.


2 Essential Life Skills Parents Must Teach Children or Else!

 

Angry Girl Opening Gifts
    Parents, Teach Children "Thank You" Anyway!

If you’re a parent who teaches your children life skills, you mustn’t forget to teach these 2 skills. They are so important that our parenting expert, Kathy Slattengren, wrote about them in her parenting book, Priceless Parenting Guidebook. Let’s see what she says.

"Showing respect is a fundamental skill all children need to develop. As parents we can both model respectful behavior and guide our children in behaving respectfully.

One of the most basic forms of showing respect is to use “please” and “thank you.” It is our job to teach our children to appropriately say “please” and “thank you.” When children lack these basic courtesies, it causes problems.

For example, one aunt explained how hard she worked to find neat gifts for her three nephews. When opening the gift they would often say things like:

“I don’t really like this.”

“This isn’t what I wanted.”

Unfortunately, the parents did not step in to help their sons learn that these types of responses were hurtful and in appropriate.

At another holiday gathering children were wildly opening gifts without paying much attention to who the gift was from never mind actually thanking the person for the gift. The children threw aside each gift and anxiously started tearing the wrapping from the next gift. Again the parents failed to set up appropriate rules or expectations for the gift opening.

It’s critical to teach children how to politely handle situations involving gifts. By discussing what to say under various situations ahead of time, children will be better prepared to act graciously even when receiving a gift they really aren’t excited about.

It can also be helpful to agree on a gentle reminder signal, life a light touch on the ear, if children forget to say thank you.

There are many daily opportunities for children to practice saying “please” and “thank you.”

. Asking for things to be passed at meal time

. When leaving a friend’s house

. Making a request for help

Use situations like these to help your children practice their skills.

Parenting Action Step:

Ask your children how they would like you to remind them, if they forget to say “thank you” and “please.”

The above post was from pages 15 and 16 in Priceless Parenting Guidebook: Ideas for Handling Everyday Parenting Challenges

 Cover Priceless Parenting
            Priceless Parenting Guidebook

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Let's give Kathy a HAND for reminding us to teach these 2 important life skills. Let's practice her action step too.

Social Skills for Kids Kathy Slattengren         Applause_18229118
Kathy Slattengren

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What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for teaching "thank you" and "please?" Please share your voice in the comment link below.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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