If you’re parenting kids with argument problems, learn the signs, symptoms, and solutions you need. Our parenting expert, Dr. Michele Borba, wrote a marvelous chapter in her book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, about such problems and solutions. Let’s read an excerpt now.
Signs and Symptoms
"Remember, all children argue, but here are a few symptoms of
kids who bicker so constantly that it’s become a problem in their daily life.
> Always comes to you to solve a problem
> Hears only his side of an issue; only want his needs addressed
> Shouts or yells to air his views
> Puts down the other person’s opinion
> Often loses his temper when trying to voice his views
> Doesn’t “hear” where the other person is coming from or attempt to listen
> Takes things personally; overly touchy or sensitive
> Feels the need to retaliate because needs aren’t met
> Blames others for the problem
> Can’t identify or describe the problem or source of friction
> Can’t think of solutions or alternatives or weigh the consequences
The Solution ~ Step 1. Early Intervention
Dig deeper to uncover the real reason. Usually there are deeper issues involved:
1. What’s really triggering these arguments? For instance, is this a new behavior? If so, have there been any big changes in your child’s life lately?
2. Does your child quarrel with everyone or just certain friends or family members?
3. Do the arguments usually happen at a certain time or day of the week (such as when he’s hungry, stressed, or tired?)
4. Ask friends, teachers, and coaches who know your child well for advice until you can discover the real reason for the constant bickering. Then commit yourself to changing one thing to start turning things around.
Could Any of These Be the Reason Your Child Always Argues?”
Here are 4 of 11 reasons offered by Dr. Borba:
First: Lacking conflict resolution skills or ability to solve problems
Second: Jealous of resentful of the individual
Third: Experiencing unfair treatment; being taken advantage of;always slighted; trying to stick up for himself
Fourth: Copying what he sees and hears: everyone else in the family argues and yells
Dr. Borba is a well-respected star in the parentng field. She offers books, blogs, and research.
To find out much more information about solving the argument problem, start on page 48 of:
Available on Amazon.com
Let's give a BIG HAND to Dr. Michele Borba for writing such a helpful book.
Sit back, relax, and share your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping kids avoid arguing? Please answer in the comment link below. We want to hear from you.
Jean Tracy, MSS
Sign up for my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive:
- 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
- 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate
****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.