Don't Let Time and Pressure Separate You!
If you're a parent, do you feel pressure for time? Perhaps you compare yourself to other parents who seem perfect. Our parenting expert and author, Neil McNerney, is here to show us how to free ourselves from both parental peer and time pressure. He has some super solutions from his book, Homework: A Parent's Guide to Helping Out without Freaking Out. Keep reading!
1. Parental Solution for Peer Pressure
What do we tell our kids about peer pressure? "If your friend jumped off the house, would you do it too?" (And by the way, after looking at the number of YouTube videos jumping off houses, I'm afraid the answer to this question, from many kids, would be..."Yes!")
If we challenge our kids to not give in to peer pressure, it's important that we don't, either. It requires us to stay concentrated on "why" we are doing something and checking to make sure it is not related to showing others that we are a good parent.
Another excellent suggestion was a saying I heard recently: "I refuse to compare my insides to other parents' outsides."
I love this quote; it focuses on the fact that we are comparing ourselves to the part of other parents that we see. Most people only show the parts of themselves they feel good about, not the parts that are insecure, anxious, cranky, and mean. We all have those sides of us, even those who seem to be perfect parents.
2. Parental Solution for Time Pressure
One of the really great ways me and my family keep track of our schedules is by using Google Calendar. We each have a separate color for each person, and we put in new activities as we schedule them. Work hours, practice times, parties, trips, graduations, etc., all get put into the calendar.
Both of our kids have access to the calendar as well. When they ask about an event, or what time the game is this weekend, we can just tell them to check the online calendar.
I recently reviewed a typical week and was stunned at how little white space is left. Even though we are vigilant about keeping our time commitments to a reasonable level, the pressure of time is always on us.
This recent Christmas, as I was working on finishing the manuscript for this book, I asked my daughter what she wanted for Christmas. "Time," was her answer. "Time to sit and watch movies together. Time to just spend as a family." In this day and age, when we assume that all that kids want is just more stuff, the biggest thing my daughter wanted from me was my time.
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I loved Neil McNerney's quote, "I refuse to compare my insides to other parents' outsides." Using the Google Calendar is a great idea. It's as close as our fingertips. If you want to read more tips from Neil on this subject, go to page 59 of Homework: A Parents Guide to Helping Out without Freaking Out.
Available on Amazon.com
Let's APPLAUD Neil McNerney for writing this book which shares his expertise as a teacher and school counselor.
Neil McNerney, M.Ed., LPC
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With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
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