The Bragging Problem: How Parents Help Kids with 6 Solutions

 

Bragging Turns Off Friends!

 If you're a parent whose child has a bragging problem, help is here. Dr. Michele Borba, an expert parenting author is sharing 6 solutions from her book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Let's find out her advice.

THE SOLUTION

Six Strategies for Change

1. Uncover the reason. Your first step to change is to discover why your kid feels the need to brag. Once you've identified the cause, you can implement solutions. The following is a list of common reasons. Check those that may apply to your child.

. "Center stage" upbringing.

. Jealuosy.

. Low social status

. Insecurity

. Emphasis on achievement and winning

. Sense of being "above others"

. Egocentricity

. Feelings of inadequacy

. Perfectionism

2. Halt the horn blowing. If you've been putting your youngster kid on center stage to parade her talents and beauty (so that everyone "oohs and aahs" over her every move), then cut it out! ...

3. Teach the rules for "civilized" bragging. Reprimanding  a young kid for bragging will only make him feel ashamed and less likely to tell you his achievements. So teach the "Private Rule": you will always be delighted to hear his proud moments, but he should tell you privately. Then explain why: "Bragging in front of friends may make them feel as if they aren't as good...

4. Point out others' reactions. Kids who brag may have used this habit so long, they're unaware that it's a real turnoff and doesn't win them any points from friends, teammates, or adults. So help your child recognize how others react to his boasting. Here are a few solutions:

. Ask: How would you feel?

. Point out nonverbal reactions.

. Role-play the other side.

5. Encourage complliments. A big part of tempering your kid's bragging and boasting is to help him recognize the accomplishments and achievement of others instead of always focusing on his own strengths, talents, and accolades.

. Teach builder-uppers...

. Look for strengths in others...

. Teach the "Two Praise Rule"...

6. Reinforce humility. Remember: true self-esteem is a quiet, inner contentment; the child doesn't feel compelled to let others know of is accomplishments and accolades. Nor does he feel the urge to compare himself to others or put the other guy down. So find ways to temper your child's boasting by acknowledging his moments of humility...

******

As you can see, I couldn't include all the rich material Dr. Borba has about bragging. I hope this is enough to get you thinking about helping your child overcome this problem. Most children don't like braggarts. With your help, kids will enjoy being friends with your son or daughter.

To read more of Dr. Borba's advice about bragging, read her chapter, "Brags." You'll find it from page 71-75.

******

Pick up The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries

Available at: Amazon.com

Let's APPLAUD Dr. Borba for her work on bringing practical solutions to parents. She is an abundant resource for the kind of answers parents need.

*******

Please support today's author and share your opinions about this blog post. Just click on the COMMENTS link below. It will open up for you. We want to hear from you.

   Type Your Comment!

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.

 Click on the icons or Share This right next to the Green Triangle below to open up your social media sites and send. Thank you so much.

Comments

[Jean Tracy, MSS]

Dear Dr. Michele,

It is an honor for me to promote your work. Being the genuine parenting expert that you are, your ideas must be heard by parents everywhere.

Thank you for letting me broadcast your wise solutions to our real parenting problems.

Warmly,

Jean Tracy, MSS
www.KidsDiscuss.com

[Michele Borba]

Jean,

Thank you for this post. It's just such an honor to have you recognize my work. The key on bragging (or any other unbecoming behavior) is for us to recognize why it should be changed! It will fuel our commitment for that makeover! Behaviors are learning--and can be unlearned. Any behavior that gets in the way of our children's character, safety, or well-being is a red flag for us to put on the brakes!

Thanks again! You can follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba for the latest tips and links on raising morally and mentally strong kids.

All the best!

Michele Borba