Eating Disorders can torment teenage boys as well as girls. Our parenting expert and author shares this story and solution in her excellent book, Teaching Kids to Be Good People. Listen as this student pours his heart out to Annie and how she responds.
Boys Get Eating Disorders Too!
What Would You Teach Here?
I know everyone thinks only girls get eating disorders, but I'm a guy and I think I have one and I need help. I eat half of a small energy bar before school, then I don't eat lunch. Then I eat the other half of the bar and some fruit. It's gotten to the point where I'm mad at myself if I even take a bite of food.
I get a lot of hate from people calling me fat and pointing out every flaw I know I already have. My mom says, "I don't think you eat enough." I pretend I don't hear.
People at school ask if I want some of their food and I say no thank you. I know they worry about me I don't feel welcome anywhere I go.
The Dean of Students saw me and asked if I wanted to talk, but I said everything was fine. I know teachers worry about me because they watch me just sit there during lunch and not eat. I don't know what to do. I feel really stuck. - 15-year-old (From pages 71-72)
Annie's Reply to This Teen's Eating Disorder
"I tell people I'm fine but I think I have an eating disorder."
Everything is obviously not "fine." Your mom is worried about you. People at school who offer you their food are worried about you. The Dean of Students is worried about you. And since you just wrote to me for help, I'd say it's safe to deduce that you are worried about you!
Anyone can develop an eating disorder, and it definitely sounds like you are severely restricting calories (possible to avoid being teased.) Now it sounds like you have gotten into a habit of not eating. I'm guessing that when you do eat you're not enjoying the food at all. (An energy bar is not a complete, ongoing source of the nutrients your body needs.)
I'm going to add myself to the list of people who care about you and are worried about you. You say, "I don't know what to do anymore." Here's what you need to do today: Talk to your mom. Tell her the truth.
Tell her what you told me...about not eating...about feeling depressed. Tell your mom that you don't want to feel this way anymore, and you want help. Tell her that you want to talk with the Dean of Students and /or a school counselor. (From page 213)
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Most of us don't think of boys as having eating disorders. How important that this boy trusted Annie enough to tell her about his problem. If he follows her good advice, he may find a good solution.
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Pick up Annie Fox's excellent book, Teaching Kids To Be Good People and learn the many solutions she offers all of us.
Available at Amazon.com
Let's HONOR Annie for helping students and parents with her caring heart and outstanding advice.
Annie Fox, M.Ed.
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With warm wishes,
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****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.
Click on the icons or Share This right next to the Green Triangle below to open up your social media sites and send. Thank you so much.
Thanks, Dr. Par Donahue. Annie has written a terrific book, Teaching Kids to Be Good People. I hope the boy in this story gets the help he needs too.
Thank you also for your own excellent book, Messengers in Denim. It's filled was super stories and excellent advice for parents and their teenage children.
Warmly,
Jean Tracy, MSS
www.KidsDiscuss.com
Posted by: Jean Tracy, MSS | January 19, 2013 at 08:58 AM
Thanks Jean, for another great post! And thank you Annie for bringing this problem to everyone's attention! Your answer was right on! I hope this boy gets the help he needs and follows your suggestions.
Posted by: Dr. Par Donahue | January 19, 2013 at 08:45 AM
Annie, you are such an expert! Thank you for writing such a helpful book,Teaching Kids to Be Good People.
I noticed the best link to your website for teens is:
http://bit.ly/in9i1w
Our readers will find a wealth of information about teens and food problems.
With gratitude for all the good you do,
Jean Tracy, MSS
www.KidsDiscuss.com
Posted by: Jean Tracy, MSS | January 18, 2013 at 09:11 AM
Jean, thank you very much for featuring this post of mine. With all the current media attention on childhood obesity, eating disorder awareness hasn't received much attention recently. But, obviously, it's still a problem for many teens (girls and guys). In fact, there's a whole lot we could be doing, as parents and educators, to help kids develop a healthier relationship with food and with their bodies. Thanks again for giving me this forum to get the word out. I've got a lot more information for teens about eating disorders at TheInSite.org (my website for teens) http://www.theinsite.org/me/some_body/health/eating_disorders_text.html
Posted by: Annie Fox | January 18, 2013 at 08:12 AM