If your teenager has an anger problem and you're looking for solutions, keep reading. Our parenting expert, Annie Fox, and author of the book, Teaching Kids To Be Good People, is here to share some valuable ideas. First she'll share a mother's concern and then she'll offer her professional advice.
The Anger Problem
A worried mother wondered if the youth minister could help her son or should she involve the authorities. This was after she wrote:
"When my 14-year-old son doesn't get his way, he starts yelling and cursing. He started getting physical with his father, my ex, and came to live with my second husband and me. Same problem." (page 77)
The mother went on to say her son got physical with her the night before. Later and in tears he apologized.
Annie's Parenting Solutions:
Annie acknowledged the situation was dangerous because the son didn't know how to deal with his out of control anger. She told the mom, "This must be addressed immediately." Annie commended the fact that the boy apologized because it showed he knew what he did was wrong.
Here's Annie's 9-Step Advice ~
1. Find out if the youth minister has a counseling background. If your son has a good relationship with him, the youth minister could be a good resource.
2. Get a referral to a licensed family therapist if the youth minister lacks the skills needed.
3. Talk to your son when he's calm and can listen.
4. Tell your son, "I love you and know you are a good person."
5. Assure him that you know he's not proud of himself for his temper.
6. Explain that you are still very upset with what happened.
7. Make sure he knows you are on his side and you want to help him grow up and become a good man.
8. Share your hope that he'll learn to treat everyone with respect even when he's angry.
9. Tell him you want him to get professional help.
Annie then advised that the boy's problem is a family problem and should include the boy's dad, herself, and her present husband with the counselor. Why? The process needs to address the boy's needs and the well-being of the family.
Annie Fox is a true professional. She gives the mother step-by-step advice with the best mental outlook in handling her son. Many parents are likely to blow up and escalate a bad situation when their teen gets violent. This gives the teenager an excuse to blame the parent. The parent ends up feeling guilty until the next blow up. The cycle of anger keeps blazing.
If your child gets too angry, consider Annie's advice. One more thing, deal with it immediately. Don't let it get out of hand.
Let's APPLAUD Annie for her excellent work with teens. Her background as an internationally respected character educator with 30+ years of experience is clearly visible.
Pick up your copy of Teaching Kids To Be Good People: Progressive Parenting for the 21st Century
Available on Amazon.com
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