Aren't divorce stories like nightmares? Shouldn't you avoid divorce discussions for fear of stirring up your child's feelings? Why not pretend everything is normal?
Because it isn't. Your child is filled with emotions like guilt, fear, anger, and sadness. Keeping feelings zipped tightly inside doesn't mean they don't exist. And when they finally tumble out, it could be frightening.
Why Use Stories and Cartoons?
Children love stories and cartoons. The stories help your child think about the cartoon characters' problems and feelings. They protect your child from being targeted by the direct questions they don't want to answer. They help your youngster think objectively about the stories' dilemmas. And they give him the opportunity to share his solutions with you.
The Triple A Formula gives your child exactly what he needs from you, your attention, approval, and appreciation.
1. Give Your Full Attention.
After you read Sean's difficulty with his step-brother ask the discussion questions. This is where the healing begins. By listening, direct eye contact, and your pleasant face, you are giving him just what he wants, your full attention.
2. Give Your Approval.
Perhaps you've read Mackenzie's story about needing quality time with her dad. By giving your daughter your approval for her opinions and suggestions, she'll feel important and pleased you liked her thoughts. She may even share her own feelings about some aspect of your divorce. Stay strong, don't criticize, and allow her to talk.
3. Give Your Appreciation.
Maybe you'll read Joey's story. He wanted to quit being his parents' mailman because delivering their angry messages to each other put him in the middle. Let's say you and your children had a great discussion. Their advice for Joey was unique and helpful. Give them your appreciation, "I'm impressed by your wise ideas and specific solutions."
When you use discussion stories with the Triple A Formula, you are helping your children to gently unzip their feelings. They'll feel heard, loved, and relieved. This is how to heal your child.
Each story contains a special healing strategy to lessen the pain of divorce. A bonus collection of all the healing strategies is included to download at the end. I suggest you keep them in a binder to use whenever you need them.
Pick up your FREE copy today, July 18, 2013:
Available at Amazon.com
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