Disciplining respectfully is a challenge for parents. Our parenting skills expert, Carole Disseldorp, will share 7 tips from her book, Easier Parenting. First she'll share how disrespectful parents turn kids off. Then she'll share how to discipline with respect. To know exactly how to get your kids to cooperate and give you the respect you want, keep reading.
The Problems with Disrespectful Discipline
Carole knows that kids dislike nagging, yelling, and forcing them to obey. They drag their feet, ignore requests, and think mean thoughts about their parents. When parents use fear to get their kids to submit to their demands, feelings of love and peace fly out the window. Think about the last time someone treated you badly. How did you react? Why would children respond any differently?
How to Deal with Minor Misbehaviors
Let's face it, kids can be annoying. That's why you might use threats, say ugly words to get them to stop, or yell with annoyance. Have you ever reacted poorly to these behaviors?
- Irritating noises
They drive many parents wild. And kids keep using them because they work. Many folks give up and give in. They don't think, "If I say 'Yes' when I want to say 'No,' my kids will keep repeating these behaviors. Why? Parents just want the irritating actions to stop if only for the moment.
Carole tells us that remaining calm and not reinforcing the negative behaviors is a better way to react. How? Ignore them. Yes, it's hard to do but if you're consistent the behaviors will fade away. On the other hand, if you have been giving in to your child a lot, it will take longer to change.
Carole's Discipline Solutions for Parents
- Realize that it's natural for your kids to not always obey. This can help you to refrain from expecting immediate compliance and acting with impatience.
- Give a reason for changing unpleasant behaviors to older children because it's a sign of respect.
- It's fine to give a reason for ending a behavior to kids less than 3 years. But they aren't ready to reason yet. She suggests it's more effective to act.
- Change your behavior from repeating over and over to setting limits is best with kids.
- Use natural or logical consequences like not wearing a jacket in freezing weather will make your daughter cold or not getting ready in time will make her miss out on a game with dad
- Avoid heated arguments. It's hard for a child to argue by herself
- Finally, always remember you are the parent and use your authority with kindness, firmness, and consistency.
I agree with Carole's 7 discipline solutions because, as a family counselor, I know they work well. Start using her strategies today and you'll notice a positive difference in your children. Look for more detail in her book, Easier Parenting, on pages 41-44.
Let's THANK Carole for her outstanding contributions to parenting with respectful discipline.
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