Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com

The Apology Formula: Every Child Need This Social Skill!

When Kids Need to Apologize! Parents Can Help.

Let’s face it; kids aren’t born with social skills.  Unless we teach them, their manners can be rude and hurtful.  When they upset a friend, a parent, or a relative with their actions or words, they may be shutting doors now and in the future.  No one likes being around rude people.

Today we’ll teach The Apology Formula and how to use it to repair and reopen strained relationships. We’ll keep it short and simple to make it easy to learn.

The Apology Formula to Post on the Refrigerator

I’m Sorry for… + Name of Offended Person + I Promise to…

The Role-Playing Activity

Teach your kids with lots of role-plays at different times. Choose situations any child should apologize for, like calling a friend “a brat,” sassing mom, and pushing the babysitter.

Pretend that you are the offended person. Discuss with your child what he might need to apologize for. Make it a game. End with a hug or by shaking hands.

1. I’m sorry for calling you “a brat,” Jordan. I promise to talk to you nicely from now on. (Shake hands.)

2. I’m sorry for sassing you, mom. I promise to talk to you with respect. (Shake hands or hug.)

3. I’m sorry for pushing you, Nanny. I promise to go to bed when you tell me. (Shake hands.)

Teach Sincerity 

Explain that everyone makes mistakes. Apologizing is a great way to repair those mistakes. Tell him to be sincere when he apologizes and that you’ll be proud of him for using this important social skill.

Don’t forget to praise him/her in real situations. Be proud of yourself too. S/he’ll be repairing relationships and reopening doors all because you taught them The Apology Formula.

 *****

Bonus Article:

3 Parenting Tips How to Build Character in Disrespectful Kids

http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/feature_article.asp?fa_id=92 

 

What are your opinions about this blog or your suggestions for helping your kids get through the holidays? Please answer in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my Newsletter at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/ and receive 80 fun activities to play with your kids.

Social Skills ~ 3 Parenting Tips for Motivating Your Lonely Child

Parenting tips for teaching social skills can help lonely children. I know when kids are lonely, parents suffer. These tips will help you help your child. You'll be building a friendly character in her too.

Kids Have Fun When They Have Friends

3 Parenting Tips for Motivating Your Lonely Child to Practice Social Skills:

1.  Create a list of social skills for your child to practice. 

2.  Ask your child to pick one social skill per week to practice.

3.  Discuss questions like these to get your child involved:

    1) Which kids would you like to practice this social skill on?

        Your child would name some kids she'd like for friends.

    2) Where would you like to practice this social skill?

        It could be in the neighborhood, at school, or anywhere.

    3) Can you show me how you would use this social skill?

        Sometimes kids have the best ideas.  Add your ideas too.

Conclusion for Motivating Lonely Kids to Learn Social Skills:

Use the 3 parenting tips and the 3 questions to get your child involved in solving her own social problems. You'll enjoy coaching her,  watching her progress, and feeling her happiness when she makes new friends.

You'll be building character by helping her become a friendly person who reaches out to others.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Contact me at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

3 Parenting Solutions: Stop Worrying about Your Aggressive Kid's Social Skills!

Many parents worry about their aggressive child's social skills. It's hard to see other kids avoiding your child. Realize that most kids don't have a clue about making friends. Let's find out what you can do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aggressive Kids Need Social Skills

Building Character with Discussions and Social Skills ~

Aggressive kids make many mistakes. Some are bossy. Others talk too loud or too much and others like to fight. Here are 3 discussion questions you can try:

First, sit down with your child when he is in a good mood. Have a snack together and ask.

1."What do kids think of you?" Depending on the answer ask another question.

2. "Would you like to have more friends?" If he says, "Yes," ask

3. "What do you have to do to make more friends?" If he says, "I don't know," tell him to guess.

What you've just done is made him a partner in solving his own social problems.

3 Parenting Solutions: Teaching Your Aggressive Child Social Skills ~

1. Help him realize no one wants to be bossed. Suggest he ask other kids what they want to play. Role-play this several times with him now and on other occasions too.

2. If his voice is too loud, suggest he lower it. Tell him to look directly at the other child and ask him questions he'd like to be asked like:

    a. Who's your favorite action hero?

    b. Did you like Sponge Bob? Why?

    c. What's your favorite school subject?

When your child shows an interest in others, they will like him better.

3. Explain that being friendly includes saying "Hi" with a smile, whenever he sees kids he knows. They'll like being noticed.

Conclusion for Helping Your Aggressive Child with Social Skills ~

Pick a convenient snack time to discuss your child's progress with him. Let him know that it will take many times for other kids to notice he's no longer bossy, that he's interested in them, asking them  questions, and saying "Hi" with a friendly smile. Listen well to his successes and avoid criticism. Encourage him to keep trying.

If you do, you'll be your child's best coach. You'll be building character, helping him tame his personality, and he'll be making friends.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Contact me at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Parenting Solutions: Is Teaching Social Skills to Your Shy Child Confusing?

Is a lack of social skills holding your child back? Most children are confused about making friends. Shy children, as a group, have a  difficult time. Let's find out what you can do to help. You'll be building character too.

       Being Shy Is Not Fun

Shy kids can experience a deep loneliness and feel left out. They don't know what to say or do.

As a child and family counselor for over 20 years, I know the heartache parents feel when their children sense they are outsiders.

Parenting Solutions: 5 Reasons Why Social Skills Start with a Smile ~

For shy children the easiest way to start is with a smile. Discuss with your child how his smile helps other kids feel great:

1. A smile shows a future friend you like him.

2. A smile makes the other child feel special.

3. A smile invites a child to feel comfortable with you.

4. A smile relaxes you inside.

5. A smile invites an interaction, like talking, playing a game, or helping the other child in some way.

Parenting Solutions ~ Make an "I Smiled Today" Chart ~

For young children, I suggest posting a piece of fancy paper on your refrigerator and after dinner asking your child, "How many times did you smile at someone today? Tell me about them." For each time your child smiled add a sticker to the fancy paper.

Conclusion for Teaching Your Shy Child to Smile ~

If you're confused on how to help your child, smiling is a great social skill to start with because it's easy to do. Smiling has positive effects on others. Your child will be setting the stage for making future friends.

If your child is young, consider making a simple "I Smiled Today," chart. Have fun discussing the times your child remembered to smile. Reinforce it with a sticker for each smile. If you do, you'll be teaching a social skill for life. You'll be building character too.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Contact me at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Social Skills for Kids ~ Advice from a Juvenile Corrections Officer

Our social skills expert is Mary Romero, a Juvenile Corrections Officer. Let's find out her perspective on helping kids with social skills.

 

Mary Romero

”…It is important to take a look at the parenting skills already in place and what is being role modeled at home with social skills. If there are inappropriate behavior/social skills being modeled at home, you can be sure they are being exercised by the child outside of the home.

It does not mean that children cannot learn new behaviors while in the care of others and take these skills home!

If working with the parent and child, it is important to let the parent know that repetition is important when teaching social skills as well as:

1. Role modeling

2. Gentle reminders

3. No scolding

Letting the child know what is expected of him prior to getting out of the car when entering public places is a must.

Consequences should be discussed beforehand and parents should  follow through (boundaries). This is a must."

There should be no "If I have to tell you again.”

Once the boundaries are set, the gentle reminder given (if necessary), and if the inappropriate behavior continues, the consequence must be given without negative emotion or causing a scene.

Calmly do as you said you would and the conversation ends.

Children do need to be praised for their good behavior.

This does not mean they get a toy, or prize for every good deed done or it will be expected just for being good. They need to realize that these are socially acceptable behavior's that everyone must learn and practice to get along in society.

Thank you, Mary. Your perspective is important and helpful.

Mary Romero is a Juvenile Corrections Officer at Department of Juvenile Justice, Virginia

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Social Skills for Kids ~ Learn This Counselor's Expert Methods for Helping Children

 Social skills open doors for kids. Some kids have great models others don't have a clue. If your child needs professional help, our expert today is a child counselor.

Maureen T. Dougherty, Psy.D.

"I use sand tray & more traditional doll or puppet play with kids to see if they have some perceptual problems in understanding situations; could be they're just misreading social cues.

I will often "set up" situations in the play similar (but not exactly) to a problem they've recently had, or eventually work it in, to see how they react.

Accidentally, I have found that play cell phones work WONDERS in getting kids to talk about things. Sometimes they pretend it's mom or the offended or offending person on the other line. Sometimes I'll play one of those roles or sometimes I just play a good-listening friend on the other end of the line. 

Many thanks to our expert, Maureen, for your helpful ideas.

You can connect with Maureen at:

http://www.lindedin.com/pub/maureen-t-dougherty-psy-d/26/864/a04 

I like Maureen's ideas because, as a parent, you can also role play using dolls. puppets, and play cell phones to find out how your child is feeling about a recent problem.

You can also teach social skills your child may need by role-playing using dolls. puppets, and cell phones.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Social Skills for Kids ~ Parenting Expert Uses Play Acting with Young Children

 Our guest expert, Shena Cooper, teaches social skills with play acting. She is the owner of Secret Seed Publications Ltd Imaginative stories. Let's find out her unique way of teaching social skills.

 

Shena Cooper

Make it part of their play...have a teddy bears tea party (or other social occasion you want them to be familiar with) You speak for the teddy bears to start with then let the child/children take over.

A teddy bear leaves without saying 'Thank-you'.

"Oh dear, I wonder if he enjoyed it. We went to so much effort and he didn't even say thanks."

You have probably got the idea by now. It is always easier to encourage children indirectly giving them the opportunity to understand why manners are important by looking at them the other way round.

So rather than saying you must always say thank you when you leave a party show them how the party-giver feels if they are not thanked.

Thanks, Shena. This is such a fun way to teach social skills.

Please connect with Shena at: http://secretseedsociety.myshopify.com/

Now it's your turn. What social skills do you think kids should learn?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Social Skills for Kids ~ Therapist Teaches 10 Basic Skills to Special Needs Children

Our guest blogger and author teaches social skills to children with ADHD, LD, and Aspergers. Read on to learn her 10 basic skills.

Janet Giler

Jean, I think the most important intervention that therapists, teachers and parents can do it to teach their children to accurately evaluate their own behavior.

Many kids on the Special Needs Spectrum have poor perception of their behavior and how it affects others.

In my book Socially ADDept and My ADDept Curriculum, we use a simple technique to teach self-evaluation. I think it's important because being able to mind read effectively, e.g. recognizing disapproval, is supposed to cue children to alter their behavior.

Many children with special needs don't pick up on the nonverbal and verbal cues which tell them to stop and alter their behavior.

ADDept Teaches 10 Basic Skills

• Listening and responding
• Showing interest by smiling and asking questions
• Greeting others
• Giving compliments
• Understanding body language and vocal tones
• Understanding personal space and appropriate touching
• Joining an on-going activity
• Sharing and cooperating
• Handling teasing
• Managing anger appropriately

You can connect with Janet at http://www.addept.org/

Now it's your turn. What social skills do you think kids should learn?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Social Skills for Kids ~ Teenager Shares 3 Tips for Making Friends

All kids and teenagers need social skills. Today I interviewed 15-year-old Paula to find out her advice for 3 essential ways to make friends. She exceeded my request. Read on to find out how.

Jean: "Paula, what are the 3 best social skills kids need to learn for making friends?"

Paula: "First I'd say, make a good impression."

Jean: "How do you do that?"

Paula: "Try to get to know the person by asking them questions about themselves instead of talking about yourself. Find out what you have in common. Talk about that and feed off of each other. Be sure to say a little something about yourself to make it a two-sided conversation."

Jean: "I like that because it sounds like you're focusing on the other person."

Paula: "Yes."

Jean: "What is another social skill you recommend?"

Paula: "My second recommendation is to respect the other person."

Jean: "What do you mean?"

Paula: " Be courteous. Don't grab. Ask for what you want. Don't talk behind the other person's back. That means 'no word vomit.' Don't seek revenge when someone hurts you. Be the better person."

Jean: I like how you link respect to courtesy and being the better person if someone hurts you. What is the third social skill you recommend?"

Paula: "My third social skill is don't gloat. That means don't brag because it annoys the other person and could cause jealousy."

Jean: "Gloating is so easy to do but it doesn't work. Bragging about others is much more effective."

Paula: "I have more suggestions."

Jean: "OK, what are they?"

Paula: "Treat people less smart or who have less material possessions with respect. Make friends with people who are on the same or higher level than you because they can lift you up and you can grow together to become better people. And finally, stay away from people who seek out trouble."

Jean: "Thank you, Paula. I appreciate your good ideas. If we all followed them, we'd become quality people. In fact, just realizing the truth in your suggestions can be the springboard to following them."

Now It's Your Turn. What are your ideas about social skills for kids?

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at:

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Social Skills for Kids ~ Great Advice from a Certified Etiquette Trainer

Certified etiquette trainer, Vicki Fleming, knows a lot about social skills for children and teenage girls. Let's read about some specific manners parents need to teach and model for kids.

 

Vicki Fleming

It is imperative that parents/adults equip children with sound social skills. It is something that must be addressed starting at a young age. There are a range of social skills that parents will need to be teach their children over the years.

As a Certified Etiquette Coach for Children and Teenage Girls, some of the key social skills that I find are vital in the early stages, are proper introductions and table manners, and that's just to name a few.

Parents can begin as soon as a child is able to speak, by practicing saying "hello and goodbye" and as they mature the use of Mr and Mrs, and titles (Sir or Ma'am), as well the correct approach to extending and shaking hands in more formal settings.

Table manners can start in the home with place setting games and instructions on how to use silverware, napkins, glasses and posture.

Many parents will take their children to restaurants too early in life and this can be a nightmare for everyone, especially if it's not a child free environment.

But with advanced home training and patience, even small children will behave in public. It's just imperative that the time line be considered when dining in public. Small children will start to fidget and want to move about after a certain period of time, but even here, appropriate responses can be taught.

I do believe adults need to have exceptional patience using kindness, humor, consistency and gentle reinforcement when teaching and demonstrating good social skills/proper etiquette to children. It is a process... "building blocks."

A use of creative games or fun books that address manner issues are fun for children.(check out Blundermania.com) --and mainly, modeling good social skills as parents, our children will naturally develop them.

I strongly suggest to parents, who are able to financially invest in a good etiquette coach to do so, if they find or feel that their lives are overtaxed with long work hours and crazed by the number of extracurricular activities that their children are committed to.

It is a mistake to assume that our children will just "pick-up" good manners and social skills. Repeat, practice, repeat....over and over again ... good social skills must be learned.

It works to a child's advantage to be taught proper social skills, that in the end will provide them with the confidence, ease, poise needed in a variety of social situations.

Please connect with Vicki Fleming at  www.yourmannerstalk.com 

I appreciate all the great advice you've taught us in this short space, Vicki. You've pointed out specific social skills that we as parents may forget to model and teach.

Let's give our kids  a head start and teach the social skills Vicki Fleming mentioned.

Now It's Your Turn. What are your ideas about helping kids with social skills?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids