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Character Building ~ How to Avoid the Too Tender Approach to Parenting Kids

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Parenting Tips by Jean Tracy, MSS, for grades K-6:

If you’re divorced, working too hard, and lack time with your kids, do you feel sorry for your children? Perhaps you’re using the too tender approach to make up for your situation. If so, you’ll want to look to the consequences of being too kind.

Today’s Agenda for Building Character in Kids:

·         In our last post we discussed a parenting style for training your son to become a “star.”

·         Today we’ll discuss alternatives to being too tender with kids.

·         We’ll also look at some parenting advice from former President Truman.

“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.” - Harry S. Truman

If you’re helping your kids think through a dilemma, a career, or some special decision, this could be great advice. If your kids rebel, make poor choices, and follow the wrong track, you might choose to ignore President Truman’s words. If your kids are on the wrong path you’ll want to make some adjustments in your parenting style.

Parenting Style When Using the Too Tender Approach with Kids:

Being too tender brings trouble. Too tender can be a result of guilt. If you’re divorced, you might feel sorry for your child and try to make life too easy for him. If you’re working too hard, you might not follow up on whether your child’s chores are completed. Lacking time for your child may prompt you to give material things to replace lost time with you. If you follow President Truman’s advice in these situations, you may be raising a weak self-centered child who gets what he wants, pouts when he doesn’t, and expects you to make him happy.

Parenting Advice Using the Tender Approach with Kids:

Being tender comes from love not guilt. Love teaches kids to meet life’s challenges with inner strength. Inner strength comes from your following through on your expectations like being respectful, doing homework, and completing chores. Love teaches kids to earn the things they want. Being tender but not too tender helps kids care about others too.

If you’re in doubt on how to parent, just ask yourself, “How can I be kind without being too kind?”

What do you think? Do you know parents who have trouble balancing tenderness? What advice would you give them?

In our next post, we’ll discuss some advice from Frederick Douglas and the problem with being too tough and not tender.

If you liked these parenting tips, pick up our FREE Parenting Tips - 21 of the Best at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com   where you’ll find them at the top of the page.

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If you’d like to sharpen your parenting skills, check out our Parenting Skills Kit  with its Kind and Firm “Discipline Stick”. Now is a great time to build character.