Does it bother you when your child feels bad about himself? Would you like parenting tips on teaching your child to deal with his feelings? Inside are some parenting tips he you can use today.
Does your child say things like?
"I hate being me."
"I'm so stupid."
"I feel sad."
It hurts to hear our precious children say out loud the mean thoughts they have about themselves. If only there was a magic wand to change their thoughts for the better.
We get our feelings from our thoughts. When we think badly about ourselves, we feel bad too. To change our feelings we must change our thoughts.
When your child seems down in the dumps, sit down and talk with him. Be kind and patient. Like many people, your child might want to hold on to his sad thoughts and feelings. You might have a conversation like this:
"Honey, what's the matter?"
"I'm so stupid."
"Why? What happened?"
"My teacher asked me a question about my homework. It was easy but I couldn't answer it. Everybody laughed at me."
"Why didn't you know it?"
"I studied the wrong chapter."
"Everybody makes mistakes like that. It doesn't mean they're stupid."
"I know but I still feel stupid."
"It sounds like you feel embarrassed too."
"Ask yourself, 'What am I telling myself to make me feel stupid?'"
"Things like, "I don't know anything. Everybody's mean. I hate school."
"Do you want to keep these thoughts?"
"Ask yourself, 'Are these thoughts true?'"
"Then ask yourself, 'What's a better way for me to think and feel?'"
"Everybody makes mistakes. I'm not stupid. I just studied the wrong chapter."
"Hold on to those thoughts and your feelings will get better too. Let's talk a little later and see how you're doing."
Sometimes as parents, we feel pressed for time and don't try to find out what's wrong. If we take the time, we can help our child learn how to handle their feelings. Of course, we need to practice the clear thinking that leads to better feelings in our own lives too. When we're good examples, our children will follow.
Consider creating a picture for the refrigerator that says, "Everybody Makes Mistakes." Talk about it the next time your child feels down.
How do you encourage your child to feel better? Let me know at:
Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.
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With warm wishes for your parenting success,
Jean Tracy, MSS