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Parenting Tips ~ Getting Your Kids to Discuss Their Negative Feelings

Dear Parent,

Does it bother you when your child feels bad about himself? Would you like parenting tips on teaching your child to deal with his feelings? Inside are some parenting tips he you can use today.

Does your child say things like?

"I hate being me."

"I'm so stupid."

"I feel sad."

It hurts to hear our precious children say out loud the mean thoughts they have about themselves. If only there was a magic wand to change their thoughts for the better.

We get our feelings from our thoughts. When we think badly about ourselves, we feel bad too. To change our feelings we must change our thoughts.

When your child seems down in the dumps, sit down and talk with him. Be kind and patient. Like many people, your child might want to hold on to his sad thoughts and feelings. You might have a conversation like this:

"Honey, what's the matter?"

"I'm so stupid."

"Why? What happened?"

"My teacher asked me a question about my homework. It was easy but I couldn't answer it. Everybody laughed at me."

"Why didn't you know it?"

"I studied the wrong chapter."

"Everybody makes mistakes like that. It doesn't mean they're stupid."

"I know but I still feel stupid."

"It sounds like you feel embarrassed too."

"Uh-huh."

"Ask yourself, 'What am I telling myself to make me feel stupid?'"

"Things like, "I don't know anything. Everybody's mean. I hate school."

"Do you want to keep these thoughts?"

"No."

"Ask yourself, 'Are these thoughts true?'"

"Not really."

"Then ask yourself, 'What's a better way for me to think and feel?'"

"Everybody makes mistakes. I'm not stupid. I just studied the wrong chapter."

"Hold on to those thoughts and your feelings will get better too. Let's talk a little later and see how you're doing."

Sometimes as parents, we feel pressed for time and don't try to find out what's wrong. If we take the time, we can help our child learn how to handle their feelings. Of course, we need to practice the clear thinking that leads to better feelings in our own lives too. When we're good examples, our children will follow.

Consider creating a picture for the refrigerator that says, "Everybody Makes Mistakes." Talk about it the next time your child feels down.

How do you encourage your child to feel better? Let me know at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

 


Parenting Tips ~ How to Help Your Child Become a Positive Thinker

Do you need parenting tips on helping your child challenge his negative thoughts? Inside you'll 3 negative statements and how to challenge them.

Does your child say things like?

  1. "I never win."
  2. "Nobody cares."
  3. "I feel terrible when the kids tease me."

Let's take number one, "I never win." Respond to your child by asking, "Never?" Remind him of the many times he's already won. Let him know when he says "never" it's almost always untrue. There aren't many things we can say "never" about and be telling the truth. After that ask, "Never?" whenever you hear him using that word.

Now for number two, "Nobody cares about me." Again, respond to your child by asking, "Nobody?" Remind him of the people do love and care about him. You're one of them. Tell him words like nobody, never, and always are exaggerations. When we use them in sentences, they exaggerate our statements. To help him stop using those words, tell him you'll answer him with a question mark whenever he uses those words.

Finally, let's look at number three, "I feel terrible when the kids tease me." In the counseling world, we call this "catastrophizing," which means treating events like catastrophes or mole hills like mountains. In other words, we think the worst. Help your child see when he mentally exaggerates, it discourages and hurts him even more because he feels like giving up. Words like "awful" terrible, and never" turn events into catastrophes.

Have a contest in which you both drop these negative words. The winner gets to choose a fun activity to do together.

One last thing, how do you help your child become a positive thinker? Let me know at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

 


5 Parenting Tips ~ How to Turn Your Whining Child into a Winner

Would you like parenting tips for changing your whiner into a winner? Are you afraid your child will waste her life drowning on the pity potty? Inside you'll find some parenting tips for helping your child become a positive person.

If your child whines and says things like:

  1. "I can't."
  2. "It's too hard."
  3. "Nobody likes me."
  4. "I don't know how."
  5. "You don't love me."

Do you bend over backwards trying to boost her self-esteem? Do you ever wonder if she's manipulating you? Do you feel powerless to help her? If so, here are some suggestions:

Sit down and have a friendly discussion over a snack. Keep your cool. Talk to her about the problem. Ask her these questions:

  1. "Would you like to be happier?"
  2. "Is your negative thinking helping you?" (Give examples.)
  3. "Is your negative thinking hurting you?"
  4. "If you don't change your negative thinking now, how will your life turn out?"
  5. "What kind of thoughts do you need to practice to be happy?"

Tell her you want to help her. Ask her to tell you when she thinks the happier thoughts. Praise her every time you hear her talk like a winner. Make sure she hears you talk like a winner too.

Do you have suggestions for turning your whiner into a winner? Share your ideas with me at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Check out my Thought-Stopping Kit and help your child earn awards for turning whining thoughts into winning thoughts.

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 


5 Parenting Tips – Are You Raising a Little Commander?

Dear Parent,

Would you like some parenting tips to lessen your child's commands? Are you frustrated when your child gives you orders? Inside you'll find 5 parenting tips for handling demanding kids.

When your child commands you to do his bidding does he ever yell?

  1. "You should do this…?"
  2. "You shouldn't do that…?"
  3. "Get me this…"
  4. "I want…"
  5. "Don't tell me to…"

If you're raising a little commander, it's time to make some changes. You'll be doing him a favor, his teachers, friends, and family too.

5 Parenting Tips for Handling Little Commanders:

  1. Stop doing his bidding.
  2. If he demands something, tell him to either earn it or do it himself.
  3. Ask him if he's the "King of the Universe." Tell him when he demands you give him whatever he wants; he's acting like the "King of the Universe." Talk to him about it. Let him know why demanding things from you won't work. Role-play with him how to ask politely.
  4. Create a chart to count the number of times he asks for things nicely. It still won't mean he'll get what he wants, but it will help him become more respectful. Give him a star for each polite request. Each time he earns 3 stars, offer him a fun activity with you, like playing a game of cards.

    If you need a good ready-made chart, pick up my Character Building Kit . It has a great chart for building positive behaviors and 80 fun rewards that won't cost you a penny.

  5. If he still commands and demands, tell him to write out or draw 3 better ways he could have asked you. He won't like it. But it will make him stop and think about being polite the next time.

If you have a commander in your home, how do you handle the demands? Let me know at:

Jean Tracy's Email or click the comment link below and leave your comment.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 free fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS