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Parenting Tips for Whining, Character, and Logical Consequences

Are you using discipline that doesn't promote character? If so, consider logical consequences. Many parents use consequences that don't make sense. Consider what my friend and parenting expert, Kathy Slattengren, advises.

  • Create a logical consequence that relates to the behavior and is not too severe.
  • Create a simple logical consequence that is obvious and can be delivered easily and quickly.
  • Create a valuable consequence that allows your child to learn from the mistake by focusing on the misbehavior and what went wrong.

I remember creating an illogical consequence that didn't promote character in my boys. When they complained about doing homework in that familiar whiny voice, I'd send them out to pull a bucket of weeds. They "pulled the weeds" and were at the front door in no time. From the top of the stairs that led to the kitchen, I'd check their buckets by nodding my head. They went off to play. All the kids in the neighborhood knew their speedy trick.

Now they're adults. They finally told me their dirty little secret. They filled their buckets with rocks and added a few weeds on top. They knew I'd never come downstairs to check their buckets. They knew I'd stay upstairs to fix dinner.

What was wrong with my consequence? Why didn't it build character?

  1. It wasn't logical because it didn't relate to whining.
  2. It wasn't obvious.
  3. It didn't help my boys learn from their mistakes.
  4. It didn't help them with honesty.

Here are some of Kathy's suggestions of what not to say or do when your child whines:

  • "Stop whining!
  • "I'm not going to listen to you when you whine."
  • Ignore the whining.

Check out Kathy's 7 Priceless Parenting Classes. You'll find her expert advice on how to use logical consequences with whining, sibling rivalry, and other common irritating behaviors in lesson 5.

If your child has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, consider the program Stop the Bad Behavior! by James Lehman, TV's behavioral therapist.

If you need guidelines on practical parenting, pick up my Parenting Skills Kit and enjoy the confidence that comes with being an effective parent.

What discipline problems do you have? Let me know what you think by commenting below. I'd like to know.

 

 

 


Marriage or Divorce: How to Save Your Family

Whether you've divorced once, twice, or thrice you're probably aware of the following:

"What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce." – Claire Trevor

We all dream of a life-long loving marriage and happy family. Then things happen. One spouse threatens, "Divorce!" Before we know it one of us walks out the door. The pain overwhelms us and our children. The parenting plans don't seem to work and the children act out in anger or close in on themselves with depression.

The one thing we can do is learn. If there was threatening, put-downs, hateful talk from before, we can keep them out of our present marriage. We can learn to communicate by listening well, creating romantic dates, and following the Couple's Meeting Blueprint found in the last class of my free 5 part marriage e-course, Parents, Stop Fighting! Save Your Marriage Now!

Each week you'll receive a class by email to help you to get rid of put-downs, demands, and threats like, "Divorce!" You'll practice the action steps for creating a fight-free marriage and a loving home.

Why pay a divorce lawyer when you can have this e-course free? You can create a loving marriage and family. I know you can. Find out more…

If you're already divorced and your children are having a hard time, consider my friend, Rosalind Sedacca's expert advice in her e-book, "How do I Tell the Children about the Divorce?" Rosalind has created a story book scrapbook with templates that tell you what to say before, during, and after the divorce. Use it with your children to relieve their pain.

Sign up for Jean's Free Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and enjoy becoming an effective parent. You'll receive 80 fun activities to share with your children when you subscribe.

How are you making your family stronger. I'd like to know. Feel free to leave a comment below.

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS


Character, Kids, and Marriage: The Problem with Dictators

Is there a dictator parent or spouse in your home? If so don't let that dictator be you.

William Somerset Maugham got it right when he said, "A dictator must fool all the people all the time and there's only one way to do that, he must also fool himself."

When a parent dictates, s/he loses. Kids don't like being ordered harshly, hearing loud demands, and watching their parents lecture them with a stiff bodies and cold eyes.

The receiving spouse gets sick of the debates, lectures, and need to make things go his/her way.

If you're like many parents who grew up in dictating homes, you probably don't like hearing yourself either. The problem is you probably don't know how change.

There is an easier way. Find out more…

What can you do if your marriage partner is the dictator? How do you get your partner to tone down the lectures, demands, and debates? How do you prevent your companionship from dissolving, your love from dying, and gradually turning inward and away from your mate?

You don't have to be that dictating parent or partner and neither does your spouse. There is a better way.

To save your marriage and stop the dictating in your home pick up my free marriage e-course at Parents, Stop Fighting! Save Your Marriage Now!

At the end of this 5 week e-course, you'll receive my free Couple Meeting Blueprint to keep you on track for a happier home and a loving marriage.

 

What are your thoughts about dictating? How do you solve your marriage problems? Feel free to leave a comment. I'd appreciate hearing from you.

Sign up for Jean's Free Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and enjoy your family everyday.