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Motivation: This Father Found the Secret to Motivating His Kids

Are your kids motivated? Or are they a disappointment? If you're like most parents, you'd like your kids to excel at your talents. Sometimes it doesn't work.  Find out what this father learned.

How Motivation Can Mean Surrender

"I believe it's important to patiently and with lots of love discover the interests and strengths of your children (we all have a set of strengths and weaknesses) and encourage your child to become the best s/he can be.

They are all unique beings with unique interests and gifts. Yes, I wanted both my kids to be martial artists, speak many languages, and play a few instruments... but I came to realize that they are not me -- my daughter is great at team sports and in academics (I sucked in school); my son is great at technical stuff (I'm still pretty much technologically impaired - I just learned what I need to get by) and is great at building things

It was hard to accept that they will not be what I wanted them to be, but our relationship is much better ever since I surrendered and supported them to become the best they can be based on their gifts, strengths, and interests" - posted by E.G.
Sebastian

I like the secret Mr. Sebastian learned because it put him on the right track.

It can help you too. He separated their talents from his dreams for them. He realized his kids had different talents from his. He surrendered and supported their gifts, strengths, and interests. You can too.

How to Learn Your Kids Talents:

1. Give them lots of experiences.
2. Observe where they excel.
3. Give them choices from what you observe.

Then promote their choices with encouragement, participation, and praise.

What do you think about Mr. Sebastian's motivation ideas?

Leave a comment about motivating kids in the comment link below with your first name and email and I’ll email you a FREE Holiday List with 21 of the Best Learning Toys for your kids.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Motivation ~ These Parents Use a Special Motivating Quote for Their Family

Parents, motivation quotes can be the compass that directs our lives and the lives of our children. Find out how these parents use a motivating quote with their daughter, their business, and their activities.

Motivation Quote from Father to Family

"My husband is a great athlete at golf and it can be a roller coaster. One quote we use to this day and is framed in our house is, 'Never Give Up.'

My husband has a special award from his undergrad school. They asked him for a quote and he said he always kept the 'Never Give Up' quote in his mind.

We live by this with our current business, his golfing, our daughter and her education, and activities. Nothing is beyond reach...`Never Give Up.'" -from T.F.

I Like How These Parents Used Their Motivation Quote:

They framed ‘Never Give Up’ and hung it in their house as a reminder.

1.  They see and use it often.
2.  It became the motto inside their heads.
3.  It moves them toward success.

What do you think of T.F.’s motivation idea?

My Gift to You!

Leave a comment about motivating kids in the comment link below with your first name and email and I’ll email you a FREE Holiday List with 21 of the Best Learning Toys for your kids.

One more thing:

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"Motivation~33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids"

 

 

 

 

 


Motivation - How This Mother Helps Kids Avoid Frustration by Building a Scaffolding

Motivation is easier when you build a scaffolding under kids. No, not a wooden scaffolding, a learning scaffolding. Read on to find out how this mother and teacher helps her young child.

Parenting Tips for Motivating Kids from a Mother and Teacher

"My daughter gives up on some things too...things that are behond her ability. As a teacher I learned and have to remember with my 4-year-old, that kids need scaffolding.

That means for certain tasks they need support and they do best by being helped just enough. Let the tension build a little (that's how they get motivated to solve a problem) but help before the frustration builds up too much.

For example, my daughter is not great at puzzles. If I just tell her to play with the puzzle (beyond her abilities), it's too much for her. She needs the support of having the steps repeated to her...turn the pieces over, work on the edges or a specific part of the picture, look for colors, etc.

In other words, it needs to be broken down into doable steps. Staying positive with all of it is important.

I always acknowledge to my daughter that some things are tricky and not always easy for a little girl and she accepts that...but doesn't transfer that to ALL she does. Good Luck.

I understand how frustrating it can be to just watch them give up...but they need us to not give up on trying to reach them and figure out WHY they are giving up." -from Ashley F.

I Like the Scaffolding Metaphor for Motivating Kids Because:

  1. We need to give kids support when learning new or difficult things.
  2. Support means doing just enough for a little motivating tension but not too much.
  3. We must break down learning into doable steps. (e.i. the puzzle steps).
  4. We acknowledge things can be tricky.
  5. We stay positive throughout the learning.

We need to understand why our child is giving up. Is it because the scaffolding is not strong enough? Did we skip some doable steps?

What Do You Think of Ashley's Motivation Tips for Parents?

My Gift to You!

Leave a comment about motivating kids in the comment link below with your first name and email and I’ll email you a FREE Holiday List with 21 of the Best Learning Toys for your kids.

 

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Get my Free Parenting Newsletter at 

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive

80 fun activities to share with your kids.

 

Subscribe to my Facebook Fan Page and receive

“The 5 Languages of Love” with 15 specific examples 

to share with your family and friends.

 

Become my Twitter friend too.

 


Motivation - 4 Ways for Parents to Motivate Kids from an Expert

How do you motivate kids when they say, "I can't, I don't know how, It's too hard?" I sent this question to the public. This mother, author, and counselor sent 4 excellent parenting tips you'll want to use with your kids. 

Motivation - 4 Ways for Parents to Motivate Kids from Cynthia Jett:

"When I thought about what I used to motivate my five year old, I came up with little more than the tried and true carrot and stick approaches. No dessert unless you pick your things (stick), or your can earn a gold star if you help Mommy with laundry (carrot). But then I thought about the issue a little more broadly, and began to think about how we can teach kids to be self-motivated over the course of their lives (I am a psychotherapist, by the way). I came up with the following suggestions:

1. Teach children to set goals. Working toward a goal gives a child a sense of purpose and his own effectiveness. I like what an earlier writer said about setting the bar low at first to encourage success.

2. Encourage child to be proactive during times of adversity. Rather than wait out a bad situation, encourage children to do something about it. This will help them to feel they have control over their lives as they get older.

3.Practice helping others. Altruistic acts are great for kids's self-esteem, and they also teach a child that he can effect positive change in the world.

4. Challenge negative thinking. Negative thinking undermines initiative and self-motivation. Look for black and white thinking and the words "never, always, no one," and "everyone." Some examples might be "No one will ever like me," (Why take the initiative to make friends?) or "I always fail at math" (Why try?) Discuss with your child why blanket statements like this are simply untrue. Reframe their thinking to more accurately reflect reality."

- From Cynthia Jett author of the children's book, Harry the Happy Caterpillar Grows: Helping ChildrenAdjust to Change Her website is: http://harrythehappycaterpillar.com

Cynthia gave us a wealth of information to use.  She is a very knowledgeable and helpful counselor who really cares about kids. 

When Cynthia said, teach children to set goals, I thought about my Goal-Setting Kit and how it teaches parents in step-by-step details how to help kids do just that.

What Do You Think of Cynthia Jett's Ideas for Motivating Kids?

Please make a comment in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

Get my Free Parenting Newsletter at

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive

80 fun activities to share with your kids.

 

Subscribe to my Facebook Fan Page and receive

“The 5 Languages of Love” with 15 specific examples 

to share with your family and friends.

 

Become my Twitter friend too.

.


Motivation: How Praise for "Trying" Can Motivate Kids

Motivation for trying can help kids when we use the right words. Sometimes our children try but don't succeed. Find out how this mother would praise her kids anyway.

This past weekend I heard a young girl (teenager) sing a solo in front of a lot of people, many of whom she didn't know well. She probably could have sung better - she was very nervous - but the fact that she did it at all was enough for praise. As she keeps doing it she'll be more comfortable and sound better. (She was the first one on the program, too - that should give her another prize!)  Mary L

If you were the girl's parents what would you tell her?

Some kids are extroverts and have no trouble being on stage. Many are not. I remember my grand-daughter, Dani. She's a terrific artist, a fantastic athlete, and a kind 11-year-old. Yet speaking up in class has been  difficult for her. She struggles with shyness. We all encourage her by asking, "What's something difficult you tried and are proud of?" She always comes up with something.

Last spring Dani was in the school play. The auditorium was crowded with parents and students. Most of the kids were nervous. I had trouble hearing their lines until it came to Dani. Her words were loud and clear. Our family looked at one another with delight. Afterward we celebrated with praise and ice cream.

Kids need compliments over criticism.

When They Try and Don't Succeed, We Can Always Tell Them:

  1. At least you tried. I'm so proud of you.
  2. I liked how you kept encouraging your team when they were discouraged.
  3. This is the best sounding sentence in your report so far. What can you do to make your other sentences just as good?
  4. Keep on practicing because your dancing is getting better and better.
  5. Bravo! You got most of your multiplication tables correct. Let's see what you can do to improve even more.

There are endless encouraging things we can say to motivate our kids. Let's make sure what we say is both kind and honest. We'll be building character too.

What Do You Think of Mary L.'s Idea of Giving Praise for Trying?

Please make a comment in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS

Get my Free Parenting Newsletter at 

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive

80 fun activities to share with your kids.

 

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“The 5 Languages of Love” with 15 specific examples 

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Motivation: How Time with Parents Motivates This Dad's Kids

Motivation wins when time with parents is your kid's reward. It's been said, 'If a child isn't motivated the reward isn't right.' Find out how this Dad motivates his kids right with his time.

"If you do this, I'll take you camping at the end of the month // take you to the playground // we'll build that tree house // etc." In exchange for taking action - or continuing taking action - I offer in exchange something that I know will make them happy... It works.  - from E.G.S.

We already know young children love their parents' time and attention. Research tells us even teens prefer spending time with parents. So let's look at a few rules to keep in mind when we promise kids special time with us.

Like E.G. Above We Can Best Reward Our Kids with "Special Time" If We Remember These 5 Parenting Tips:

1.  Remember that the activity we promise is something we are willing to do.

2.  Remember that our kid's activity with us is something our child really likes.

3.  Remember not to make our kids wait too long for the reward with us. For instance, "If you get straight A's, I'll  take you to Disneyland this summer." They can't wait that long and stay motivated.

4.  Remember that the reward shouldn't be too large or cost too much money. We don't want our kids to expect material things every time they do something worthwhile.

5.  Remember to break kids' tasks into small bites as they move toward their goal.

Here Are 5 Parenting Tips for Small Rewards for Accomplishing Small Tasks:

1. Play your child's favorite card game.
2. Tickle each other's feet at the same time to see who can last the longest without moving feet.
3. Make up a funny poem about your child. 

4. Tell your child 10 things you love about him.
5. Paint pictures together.

Have your child pick the reward she wants. It's the one, as E.G. says, that will make her happy. One more thing, your child will have fun and you'll be building character too.

What Do You Think about E.G.'s Idea of "Special Time with You" Becoming the Motivating Reward for Your Child? Why?

Please comment in the comment link below.

If you'd like 80 more fun rewards with you to motivate your kids, go to http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and sign up for my FREE Parenting Newsletter.

With warm wishes,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS 

Get my Free Parenting Newsletter at

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive

80 fun activities to share with your kids.

 

Subscribe to my Facebook Fan Page and receive

“The 5 Languages of Love” with 15 specific examples 

to share with your family and friends.

 

Become my Twitter friend too.