Family conversations are easy with the 2 dialogue questions, our guest blogger, Dick Wulf, MSW, will share today. Dick is a psychotherapist and has created many dialogue tools. Here are his tips.

Dick Wulf

 The benefits of simple dialogue:

1. Asking questions just to get to know and understand another person. 

2. Go from fascination with another’s differences to finding out very important things for deeper relationship by using a dialogue “starter."

3. Use  “Why?” and “What do you mean?” type questions.

Standing on the podium 30 years ago in front of 250 married couples teaching the principles of simple dialogue, I asked my wife a new question, “What do you like best about the forest?” “Sitting by a river.” “Why?” “I like the sound of the water and the loudness.” “Why is the loudness special?” “It drowns out my worries.”

My “bucket list” includes trying to stimulate this safest kind of communication in the families of America, especially in those dysfunctional and dangerous families that produce so much family violence and crime.

 In my own violent and poor alcoholic family of origin, I was never once asked an open-ended question to get to know me or to stimulate my thinking for personal growth. I know how that limited my potential. That is why I want to bring the safe communication of dialogue to America’s poorest families.

Sample Dialogue Starters:

Where would you ride on a magic carpet?

What kind of a movie would you like to star in?

What is the best way to clean the kitchen?

What will happen if you don’t get to bed on time?

Name 3 good things about bad weather days.

 
My definition of dialogue:

Dialogue is merely asking questions of each other out of curiosity in order to better know and understand one another.

Dialogue usually means just asking the questions “Why?” and “What do you mean?” over and over again.

When you ask a person a “why” question, it usually opens up a bit of new information about him or her. Another “why” question yields a little more. When a “why” question seems hard to think of, then any simple, friendly, non-judgmental question motivated by curiosity is fine.

To Contact Dick Wulf go to:

http://www.Hope2Help.com 

http://www.VeryGoodFamily.com for Dick's Family Conversation Games Tool Kits

http://www.hope2help.com for his booklet on Successful Family Dialogue

What Are Your Suggestions for Raising Kids with Meaningful Conversations? 

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com

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 If you long for great conversations with your kids, today's blogging guest, Tshaka Armstrong , keeps it relevant and simple. You'll love his extra tip on tea time. 
 Tshaka Armstrong

Let them know that their opinions matter. From the simplest things like:

1. What we're having for dinner to

2. Where we're going to take family vacation to

3. How we're going to solve household challenges like two siblings bickering, or

4. One taking more bathroom time than the others.

My wife has always gone out of her way to show them that their opinions matter (I picked up on it eventually... I was raised a little differently). Because of this, our children have often come to us when they were dealing with their own struggles and challenges, asking for advice or just venting.

One of the most powerful things I've done to have incredible conversations with my children is taking them out and talking to them one on one. My daughter and I made a habit of going to tea and talking about EVERYTHING or just small talk.

Most times though, the conversations were heavy and we both enjoyed it. Tea is our special time and though we talk regularly, if things get a little hectic, she'll come to me from time to time and say, "Dad, it's about time we go to tea again."

I think the single most powerful tip for me has been to be present and available... consistently! Quality AND quantity time go hand in hand.

In reading between the lines, Tshaka and his wife, build family unity through simple conversations. They solve family problems and discuss fun events together. Their kids have a voice.

When our kids know their opinions count, they want to be close. They know they are important. 

This is yet another way to build strong healthy characters in our kids. Tea time with Tshaka sounds like a fun way to talk about nothing or everything. Thanks Tshaka.

What's Your Experience about Raising Kids with Meaningful Conversations? 

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com

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 If you'd like 5 parenting tips for lively family conversations, stay tuned. Our parenting consultant and guest blogger, Carol Muleta, will tell us how.

 
Carol Muleta

Wow, everybody has shared so many great ideas, some of which I use at home with my family.

1. I will build on the most recent comment from the group about clipping stories from the newspaper and discussing them at the dinner table.

2. I do that and I also occasionally select obituaries of people who may not be famous but who led interesting lives, perhaps overcoming great odds, exhibiting uncommon generosity, courage, creativity or some other admirable trait.

We talk about those people and how we might have handled the situations they faced.

3. We also enjoy using Table Topics cards as conversation starters They have versions for the car, holidays, extended families and other scenarios. Sometimes the questions are humorous, challenging, or philosophical.

4. Occasionally, we pick from an 'Imagination Questions Fun Deck' of cards which ask whimsical questions like "If you were the teacher for a day, what would you teach? What would be your rules?" or "Pretend you are invisible. Tell about your adventures."

5. Of course, you can also create your own whimsical questions and place them in a box for random selection.

Conversations generated this way often illuminate your child's private logic in ways you may not otherwise decipher. Hope this is helpful.

What's Your Experience about Raising Kids with Meaningful Conversations? 

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com

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 If you'd like a parenting tip on how to spice up your dinner conversations with your kids, you'll have to keep reading. Our guest blogger, Bill Dwight, keeps his children informed on current events too. Find out his easy method now.

 
Bill Dwight

You can contact Bill Dwight at  http://www.famzoo.com/

Bill Dwight's family discusses current events while Bill includes listening and speaking manners. What a great combination! Thanks for sharing, Bill. Your method sounds like fun.

What's Your Experience about Raising Kids with Meaningful Conversations? 

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com

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Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog in the upper left corner and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

If you'd like 4 ways to create conversations with kids when they're young, our guest blogger, Dawna Bate, can tell you. You'll also find out why those early family conversations continue as "grown up" conversations today.

Dawna Bate

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Our parenting coach, Melissa Pazen, knows something about family conversations. Read on to find out how books, TV, and dinners out helped build character in her kids.

Melissa Pazen

"1. I seem to remember my first real opportunity for a meaningful conversation with my children was when my son was 7-years-old. He read "Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry" by Mildred D. Taylor for school and came to me with tears in his eyes because the African American children had no shoes and weren't allowed to ride the school bus.

We talked about how people used to believe there was inequality between races. Then we went on to sexism and several other 'ism' situations. I remember feeling amazingly fulfilled that my children (because my 4 year old daughter chimed in, too) would notice and have compassion for others!

2. I was relatively permissive with mine, but conversation went along with everything! For example: "Can we watch '90210'?" "May we... Sure."

I'd watch it with them and afterwards, we'd talk about whether or not mine would make the same choices as the characters on the program. My children had strong opinions on these things by age 10 and 7!

3. Also, every other Friday, I took them out to supper. The restaurants weren't fancy and definitely had no TV!

Starters such as "what did you like best about your day" worked. I have a friend who asked her children where they saw God at work during the day. These keep the conversations positive.

My children are 28 and 25 now, and they still call when they want to talk through something, even though they live far away!"

Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com

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Our parenting strategist uses the car to build self-esteem and character. No, her child isn't cleaning out the car. She's learning.

Marlaine Paulson Cover, is a Social Entrepreneur, Life Skills Educator, Parenting Strategist, Creator of the Life Skills Report Card, Admin for Parenting 2.0 groups on Linked In and Facebook.

­ 

Marlaine (Paulson) Cover

"Children, like all beings, need to matter more than they need food and water and they literally glow when we value their intellect and show gratitude for their perspectives.

One of the best (accidental) things I ever did as a parent was to challenge my youngest daughter when she was a second grader to memorize the multiplication table during morning commutes.

Each day we had ten minutes alone together after dropping off her older sis to middle school and arriving at her elementary school.

There is a phrase "a cinch by an inch." Learning the multiplication table in small increments - when she didn't really "need" to - and making it our special daily game, resulted in her entering third grade a "Multiplication Master. (Except for the zeros because those I forgot.)

The appreciation for perseverance and confidence she developed becoming a Multiplication Master during these seemingly inconsequential morning moments benefited every aspect of her life, social relationships, and future endeavors.

Often parents think it is unimportant if a child does not feel highly competent in a particular subject, the irony is it is not the subject that matters - it is the child's self esteem. Which one of us would want to spend thirty hours a week feeling inferior among our peers?"

Marlaine's wisdom as a parenting strategist came through with her last two sentences. Sometimes people fear putting pressure on their kids to learn. Marlaine took the opposite approach and shows how kids feel inferior and lose self-esteem when they don't get some presssure to learn.

All she and her daughter needed were 10 minutes of daily commutes. And that made all the difference for her daughter's success, self-esteem, and character. 

You can contact Marlaine at:

Marlaine Cover MPA, MOM • http://biznik.com/members/marlaine-cover

What's Your Experience About Conversations with Kids in the Car? 

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 21 of the Best Parenting Tips Ever! from parents like yourself.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS 

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

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How do conversations, character, and cars go together? Our guest blogger and parenting expert, Sally Thibault is sharing her tips. One of them is a rule.

 
Sally Thibault

"I found some of the best and most wonderful conversations took place in the car, either to or from school, or going to after school or weekend activities."

The Rule for Conversations in the Car:

"Hence I would not allow my children to be 'plugged in'. No earphones listening to ipods or having DVD players in the back seats (Unless it was a long journey).

I also suggest to parents that by 'living in the moment', and actively listening to the conversations beyond the conversation, that many wonderful lessons and learnings took place at the most unlikely of times."

Sally's Parenting Tips for Conversations with Kids Includes: 

1. You can have meaningful conversations with kids in the car.

2. You must have a "no plugged in" rule.

3. You may learn the lessons behind the conversation when you use active listening.

If you use Sally's parenting tips you'll be building character too.

Sally Thibault is an inspirational speaker, author, and seminar facilitator.

To connect with Sally go to http://www.davidsgift.com.au/ 

What's Your Experience About Conversations with Kids in the Car?  

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com

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Get 51  Dilemmas for Excellent Discussions in the Car!

 

Enjoy learning how your children think. Share your thoughts and values too.

Having family conversations is not the problem. Having family conversations about the tough topics is. Our guest blogger, parenting expert, Kathy Slattengren, shares this advice:

Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed

1. Don't steer away from hard topics.

2. Don't expect one discussion on a difficult subject to be enough.

3. Do have lots of little talks about the topic.

4. Do have those talks over a period of time.

Jean ~ "What kind of topics do you mean?"

Kathy ~ "Talk about drugs."

Jean ~ What else?

Kathy ~ "Sex."

Jean ~ "Is there more?"

Kathy ~ "Bullying."

Jean ~ "And one more?"

Kathy ~ "Grandma, the alcoholic."

I like Kathy's idea of being straight-forward with kids. Of course, we don't want to say too much about some subjects too early.

A 3-year-old isn't ready to learn about sexual diseases. But he is ready to learn about getting ready for a baby sister.  I remember when my grandson was 3. His little sister was overdue. He put his mouth close to his exhausted mom's belly and yelled, "Allyssa, come out!"

At age 5 one boy wanted to know what "sex" was. His dad wasn't quite sure what to say. So he told him sex was the difference between boys and girls. His sex was male. His sister's sex was female. For a five-year-old that could be enough.

One mother told me her 10-year-old wanted to know about wet dreams. It seemed like a good time to tell him so she did.

Every parent has to make decisions on when is the best time to talk about hard topics. If Grandma makes a scene while drunk, kids naturally want to know what's wrong. Their age and environment should determine how much to tell.

Our guest blogger, Kathy, hit on an important topic. Let's guide our kids about the tough subjects. Lots of little discussions with the right age based information extended over a long period of time may be best.

To contact Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed or to take one of her parenting classes click here Priceless Parenting

What Topic Isn't Easy for You to Talk About with Your Kids?

 Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Website: www.KidsDiscuss.com

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Would you like to enjoy conversations with your kids? Today our parenting expert, Shoshana Hayman from the Life Center Israel, Center for Attachment Parenting, gives us her advice.

Shoshana Hayman

How to Draw Your Kids into Conversations with You: