Family conversations are easy with the 2 dialogue questions, our guest blogger, Dick Wulf, MSW, will share today. Dick is a psychotherapist and has created many dialogue tools. Here are his tips.
The benefits of simple dialogue:
1. Asking questions just to get to know and understand another person.
2. Go from fascination with another’s differences to finding out very important things for deeper relationship by using a dialogue “starter."
3. Use “Why?” and “What do you mean?” type questions.
Standing on the podium 30 years ago in front of 250 married couples teaching the principles of simple dialogue, I asked my wife a new question, “What do you like best about the forest?” “Sitting by a river.” “Why?” “I like the sound of the water and the loudness.” “Why is the loudness special?” “It drowns out my worries.”
My “bucket list” includes trying to stimulate this safest kind of communication in the families of America, especially in those dysfunctional and dangerous families that produce so much family violence and crime.
In my own violent and poor alcoholic family of origin, I was never once asked an open-ended question to get to know me or to stimulate my thinking for personal growth. I know how that limited my potential. That is why I want to bring the safe communication of dialogue to America’s poorest families.
Sample Dialogue Starters:
Where would you ride on a magic carpet?
What kind of a movie would you like to star in?
What is the best way to clean the kitchen?
What will happen if you don’t get to bed on time?
Name 3 good things about bad weather days.
My definition of dialogue:
Dialogue is merely asking questions of each other out of curiosity in order to better know and understand one another.
Dialogue usually means just asking the questions “Why?” and “What do you mean?” over and over again.
When you ask a person a “why” question, it usually opens up a bit of new information about him or her. Another “why” question yields a little more. When a “why” question seems hard to think of, then any simple, friendly, non-judgmental question motivated by curiosity is fine.
To Contact Dick Wulf go to:
http://www.VeryGoodFamily.com for Dick's Family Conversation Games Tool Kits
http://www.hope2help.com for his booklet on Successful Family Dialogue
What Are Your Suggestions for Raising Kids with Meaningful Conversations?
Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS from KidsDiscuss.com
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