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When Your Kids Fight ~ Mistakes and Solutions

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If you make mistakes and want solutions when your kids fight, keep reading.

Researchers Report:

Researchers tell us that 36 million acts of sibling rivalry occur every year. Some are severe. Most are normal. When your kids fight, they want you in the middle. They want you to be the judge. They each want you to take their side. I remember my own mother’s reaction.

A Personal Story:

When I was a kid, my brother and I fought constantly. We kicked, we teased, we shoved, we called each other names, and we rolled over and over on the ground punching each other as hard as we could.

Many fights started in our backyard. In my excitement to win the fights, my yelling grew so loud that the whole neighborhood knew we were slugging it out again.

My, mother, a rather shy person, would throw up a back room window and yell, “Jeanie, shut up!” The whole neighborhood heard her.

Her shouts embarrassed me and hurt my feelings but they didn’t stop me. My brother and I fought like that almost every day. And almost everyday mom would shout the same command.

My mother later confided, “I was sure you two would kill each other.”

Looking back, I can’t remember what we fought about. I can remember my mother’s words and I regret what I put her through.

When your kids fight and you step in the middle, what will your kids remember? Here's some advice:

5 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid When Your Kids Fight:

1. Letting them duke it out

2. Yelling

3. Swearing

4. Lecturing

5. Hitting

Knowing what to do in the heat of the moment isn’t easy. What is easy, is letting your own anger explode. If you do, what are you really teaching your kids?

5 Parenting Solutions When Your Kids Fight:

1. Talk the situation over with your partner.

2. Come up with a logical plan for handling future fights.

3. Tell your kids (when they’re not fighting) what will happen the next time they fight.

4. Determine to respond with your reason and not your emotion.

5. Follow through with the plan.

If you react to your kid’s fighting the way my mother did, you can change.

Your Action Step ~ Answer These 3 Questions:

1. Will my children remember my reactions?

2. Am I  teaching them what I want them to learn?

3. What do I want to teach them?

Conclusion for When Your Kids Fight:

Avoid mistakes you hope your kids will forget. Create solutions that build character.

If you're looking for specific ways to help your fighters solve their own problems consider my Problem Solver Kit  I have to warn you though, my boys didn't like it. That's why they rarely fought.

Do your kids fight and what do you do?

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

 With warm wishes,

 Jean Tracy, MSS  website at:

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