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Warning Parents! You Must Teach This Self-Discipline Formula Or Else

 Parents, are you afraid your kids lack self-discipline? How will your children cope if they lack accountability? Our parenting expert will share solutions and the Self-Discipline Formula.

Social Skills Blog Tara Kennedy-Kline
Parenting Expert - Tara Kennedy-Kline

"My belief is self-discipline begins with accountability.

In Stop Raising Einstein, my Truth #2 is: "A child is responsible for how she or he reacts and the results that she or he creates."


Examples of Teaching Accountability:

Accountability one of my most passionate beliefs. We began teaching accountability (unbeknownst to us at the time) when our boys were toddlers.

We would ask them to pick up a toy and if they did not do it we would tell them "if you do not put your toy away, you will not be allowed to play with it for a while." If the second request was ignored, we would put it on top of the fridge.

If they asked for the toy while it was in time out, they were told, "you decided not to put it away when you were done with it, so now it is not an option for you for a while."


Teaching Accountability Early Taught My Boys 2 Things:

 1. As parents we will follow through on our agreements and our word.


2. You can and do have choices...and you are responsible for the results of the choices you make.


These two lessons proved to be very helpful through the "blame game" years (4-9) where everything that went wrong was someone else's fault.

My husband and I were very quick to point out "You made the choice to ________...and  that is what got you into this situation. I am happy to help you figure out what to do now, but blaming others is not an option."

In order to be able to hold our children accountable, we first must give them the guidelines for being accountable. For instance, we have a family policy, if you have something that needs to be signed, filled out or corrected...it must come to me before 9pm on the day before it's due. If you hand it to me in the morning before you run out the door...it will not be going with you. Period! If you get a bad grade or face discipline at the school...you caused that.

It may sound harsh, but I firmly believe that if I continued to do everything for them and not hold them accountable for anything, they would grow up with an unhealthy sense of entitlement and an irresponsibility that was completely unacceptable to me.

Now that my boys are 13 and 11, they have a very strong sense of "self" and great pride in their accomplishments. My oldest started middle school last year which means he must wake up nearly 2 hours earlier than he did in elementary school. ONE TIME he tried to blame me and dad for missing the bus...ONE TIME! Max has an alarm clock and fully functioning hearing...that was the last time he missed the bus.

And he was thrilled to be one of only a few students rewarded with a school trip to an amusement park as a result of his outstanding attendance record. Which HE earned!

Formula for Teaching Self-Discipline:  Set the expectation then hold them accountable for their choices. Expectation + Accountability = Self Discipline.

Jean's Response:

Wow! Tara you are an awesome mother. Your advice is terrific!

Please connect with Tara at http://www.multilevelmom.com

Pick up her book, Stop Raising Einstein! on Amazon at:

http://goo.gl/STXXp 

 

Now it's your turn. How do you teach self-discipline skills to your child? Please comment in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Bonus Gift:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids




Solutions for Protecting Young Teens from Online Predators

If you're worried about your child being online with a sexual predator, I want you to know about Adina's Deck.

Adina's Case of Crush

Adina's Deck is an online company that sells DVD's about current teen concerns. Let me share a little with you.

I watched the DVD entitled, The Case of the Online Crush with my granddaughters. The actors were teenagers who discovered what was happening online with a classmate and how to handle it. Here's a description:

"Michael, a concerned 8th grader, approaches the Club (Adina's Deck) with a difficult problem. His friend Ally has been talking to a guy online for over two months - a guy she sees as perfect - but all Michael can see is that he's 20!

Adina's Deck takes the case to track down Ally's mysterious boyfriend and uncover his true identity. After using technology and their detective sleuth skills, the club learns that young online relationships aren't as romantic as they might seem."

What I liked about The Case of the Online Crush was the conversation I had afterward with my granddaughters, ages 12 and 14.

We then searched my computer for videos of TV's Dateline - To Catch a Predator where online male predators are caught after coming to a young teen's home with beer, condoms etc. I think this experience made a serious impression on the girls against mysterious online relationships.

I know you can't always protect your children from computer sexual predators. But if they watch Adina's Deck and, perhaps watch some of the Dateline videos, you may be protecting them more than you think.

You can connect with Adina's Deck at:

http://www.AdinasDeck.com

I suggest you and your child watch Adina's Deck first because it connects your child with  teens who are concerned about this problem. Dateline can then help your child see how real and slimey the predator problem is.

You can view Dateline's, To Catch a Predator at: http://goo.gl/ehxMX

Now it's your turn. How do you protect your child from online predators? Please comment in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Bonus:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Social Skills ~ 3 Parenting Tips for Motivating Your Lonely Child

Parenting tips for teaching social skills can help lonely children. I know when kids are lonely, parents suffer. These tips will help you help your child. You'll be building a friendly character in her too.

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Kids Have Fun When They Have Friends

3 Parenting Tips for Motivating Your Lonely Child to Practice Social Skills:

1.  Create a list of social skills for your child to practice. 

2.  Ask your child to pick one social skill per week to practice.

3.  Discuss questions like these to get your child involved:

    1) Which kids would you like to practice this social skill on?

        Your child would name some kids she'd like for friends.

    2) Where would you like to practice this social skill?

        It could be in the neighborhood, at school, or anywhere.

    3) Can you show me how you would use this social skill?

        Sometimes kids have the best ideas.  Add your ideas too.

Conclusion for Motivating Lonely Kids to Learn Social Skills:

Use the 3 parenting tips and the 3 questions to get your child involved in solving her own social problems. You'll enjoy coaching her,  watching her progress, and feeling her happiness when she makes new friends.

You'll be building character by helping her become a friendly person who reaches out to others.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Contact me at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


3 Parenting Solutions: Stop Worrying about Your Aggressive Kid's Social Skills!

Many parents worry about their aggressive child's social skills. It's hard to see other kids avoiding your child. Realize that most kids don't have a clue about making friends. Let's find out what you can do.

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Aggressive Kids Need Social Skills

Building Character with Discussions and Social Skills ~

Aggressive kids make many mistakes. Some are bossy. Others talk too loud or too much and others like to fight. Here are 3 discussion questions you can try:

First, sit down with your child when he is in a good mood. Have a snack together and ask.

1."What do kids think of you?" Depending on the answer ask another question.

2. "Would you like to have more friends?" If he says, "Yes," ask

3. "What do you have to do to make more friends?" If he says, "I don't know," tell him to guess.

What you've just done is made him a partner in solving his own social problems.

3 Parenting Solutions: Teaching Your Aggressive Child Social Skills ~

1. Help him realize no one wants to be bossed. Suggest he ask other kids what they want to play. Role-play this several times with him now and on other occasions too.

2. If his voice is too loud, suggest he lower it. Tell him to look directly at the other child and ask him questions he'd like to be asked like:

    a. Who's your favorite action hero?

    b. Did you like Sponge Bob? Why?

    c. What's your favorite school subject?

When your child shows an interest in others, they will like him better.

3. Explain that being friendly includes saying "Hi" with a smile, whenever he sees kids he knows. They'll like being noticed.

Conclusion for Helping Your Aggressive Child with Social Skills ~

Pick a convenient snack time to discuss your child's progress with him. Let him know that it will take many times for other kids to notice he's no longer bossy, that he's interested in them, asking them  questions, and saying "Hi" with a friendly smile. Listen well to his successes and avoid criticism. Encourage him to keep trying.

If you do, you'll be your child's best coach. You'll be building character, helping him tame his personality, and he'll be making friends.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Contact me at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Parenting Solutions: Is Teaching Social Skills to Your Shy Child Confusing?

Is a lack of social skills holding your child back? Most children are confused about making friends. Shy children, as a group, have a  difficult time. Let's find out what you can do to help. You'll be building character too.

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       Being Shy Is Not Fun

Shy kids can experience a deep loneliness and feel left out. They don't know what to say or do.

As a child and family counselor for over 20 years, I know the heartache parents feel when their children sense they are outsiders.

Parenting Solutions: 5 Reasons Why Social Skills Start with a Smile ~

For shy children the easiest way to start is with a smile. Discuss with your child how his smile helps other kids feel great:

1. A smile shows a future friend you like him.

2. A smile makes the other child feel special.

3. A smile invites a child to feel comfortable with you.

4. A smile relaxes you inside.

5. A smile invites an interaction, like talking, playing a game, or helping the other child in some way.

Parenting Solutions ~ Make an "I Smiled Today" Chart ~

For young children, I suggest posting a piece of fancy paper on your refrigerator and after dinner asking your child, "How many times did you smile at someone today? Tell me about them." For each time your child smiled add a sticker to the fancy paper.

Conclusion for Teaching Your Shy Child to Smile ~

If you're confused on how to help your child, smiling is a great social skill to start with because it's easy to do. Smiling has positive effects on others. Your child will be setting the stage for making future friends.

If your child is young, consider making a simple "I Smiled Today," chart. Have fun discussing the times your child remembered to smile. Reinforce it with a sticker for each smile. If you do, you'll be teaching a social skill for life. You'll be building character too.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Contact me at: http://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Don't Make This Social Skills Mistake with Your Kids!

"Social skills need to be taught when kids are young," says parenting expert. Kathy Slattengren is our guest blogger today. Let's find out why her point of view makes so much sense.

Social Skills for Kids Kathy Slattengren
Kathy Slattengren

 "Kids need lots of face to face interaction with their parents. This teaches young children to read social cues early - an important skill.

"Yet many little children become engrossed with technology. They like turning on various gadgets, games, TV, and computers.  Even 18- month-old toddlers are good at this. Their parents feel proud of what they can do," said Kathy.

"But parents also run the risk of missing out on face to face contact with their kids when technology takes over. Kids need to learn empathy from their parents. But they won't learn empathy with TV programs, computers, or other technologies.

When kids learn to read facial cues, they learn what's going on and how to deal with day to day issues. If they miss out on this window of time with their parents, learning social skills will be more difficult later.

Of course, there are parents who are really good with face to face interaction and who teach their kids to read social cues well. It's the parents who are too busy that may be making a big mistake. We'll find out with more research and the passage of time."

Kathy and other parenting experts are voicing this same concern. Research seems to back them up. So if your child is  involved in video games and other technologies, make sure he has fun time learning  social skills with you too.

Kathy's amazing book, Priceless Parenting Guidebook, can be found on Amazon at http://goo.gl/0VOyp

You can connect with Kathy at her website:

 PricelessParenting.com

 Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Social Skills for Kids ~ Advice from a Juvenile Corrections Officer

Our social skills expert is Mary Romero, a Juvenile Corrections Officer. Let's find out her perspective on helping kids with social skills.

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Mary Romero

”…It is important to take a look at the parenting skills already in place and what is being role modeled at home with social skills. If there are inappropriate behavior/social skills being modeled at home, you can be sure they are being exercised by the child outside of the home.

It does not mean that children cannot learn new behaviors while in the care of others and take these skills home!

If working with the parent and child, it is important to let the parent know that repetition is important when teaching social skills as well as:

1. Role modeling

2. Gentle reminders

3. No scolding

Letting the child know what is expected of him prior to getting out of the car when entering public places is a must.

Consequences should be discussed beforehand and parents should  follow through (boundaries). This is a must."

There should be no "If I have to tell you again.”

Once the boundaries are set, the gentle reminder given (if necessary), and if the inappropriate behavior continues, the consequence must be given without negative emotion or causing a scene.

Calmly do as you said you would and the conversation ends.

Children do need to be praised for their good behavior.

This does not mean they get a toy, or prize for every good deed done or it will be expected just for being good. They need to realize that these are socially acceptable behavior's that everyone must learn and practice to get along in society.

Thank you, Mary. Your perspective is important and helpful.

Mary Romero is a Juvenile Corrections Officer at Department of Juvenile Justice, Virginia

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Social Skills for Kids ~ Learn This Counselor's Expert Methods for Helping Children

 Social skills open doors for kids. Some kids have great models others don't have a clue. If your child needs professional help, our expert today is a child counselor.

Social Skills Blog Maureen Dougherty, Psy.D.

Maureen T. Dougherty, Psy.D.

"I use sand tray & more traditional doll or puppet play with kids to see if they have some perceptual problems in understanding situations; could be they're just misreading social cues.

I will often "set up" situations in the play similar (but not exactly) to a problem they've recently had, or eventually work it in, to see how they react.

Accidentally, I have found that play cell phones work WONDERS in getting kids to talk about things. Sometimes they pretend it's mom or the offended or offending person on the other line. Sometimes I'll play one of those roles or sometimes I just play a good-listening friend on the other end of the line. 

Many thanks to our expert, Maureen, for your helpful ideas.

You can connect with Maureen at:

http://www.lindedin.com/pub/maureen-t-dougherty-psy-d/26/864/a04 

I like Maureen's ideas because, as a parent, you can also role play using dolls. puppets, and play cell phones to find out how your child is feeling about a recent problem.

You can also teach social skills your child may need by role-playing using dolls. puppets, and cell phones.

Now it's your turn. How do you teach social skills to your kids?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Social Skills for Kids ~ Parenting Expert Uses Play Acting with Young Children

 Our guest expert, Shena Cooper, teaches social skills with play acting. She is the owner of Secret Seed Publications Ltd Imaginative stories. Let's find out her unique way of teaching social skills.

  Social Skills Blog Shena Cooper

Shena Cooper

Make it part of their play...have a teddy bears tea party (or other social occasion you want them to be familiar with) You speak for the teddy bears to start with then let the child/children take over.


A teddy bear leaves without saying 'Thank-you'.

"Oh dear, I wonder if he enjoyed it. We went to so much effort and he didn't even say thanks."


You have probably got the idea by now. It is always easier to encourage children indirectly giving them the opportunity to understand why manners are important by looking at them the other way round.

So rather than saying you must always say thank you when you leave a party show them how the party-giver feels if they are not thanked.

Thanks, Shena. This is such a fun way to teach social skills.

Please connect with Shena at: http://secretseedsociety.myshopify.com/

Now it's your turn. What social skills do you think kids should learn?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids


Social Skills for Kids ~ Therapist Teaches 10 Basic Skills to Special Needs Children

Our guest blogger and author teaches social skills to children with ADHD, LD, and Aspergers. Read on to learn her 10 basic skills.

Social Skills Blog Janet Giler

Janet Giler

Jean, I think the most important intervention that therapists, teachers and parents can do it to teach their children to accurately evaluate their own behavior.

Many kids on the Special Needs Spectrum have poor perception of their behavior and how it affects others.

In my book Socially ADDept and My ADDept Curriculum, we use a simple technique to teach self-evaluation. I think it's important because being able to mind read effectively, e.g. recognizing disapproval, is supposed to cue children to alter their behavior.

Many children with special needs don't pick up on the nonverbal and verbal cues which tell them to stop and alter their behavior.

ADDept Teaches 10 Basic Skills

  • Listening and responding
  • Showing interest by smiling and asking questions
  • Greeting others
  • Giving compliments
  • Understanding body language and vocal tones
  • Understanding personal space and appropriate touching
  • Joining an on-going activity
  • Sharing and cooperating
  • Handling teasing
  • Managing anger appropriately

You can connect with Janet at http://www.addept.org/

Now it's your turn. What social skills do you think kids should learn?

Please comment in the comment link below.  Don't forget to add your email so I can send you 101 Jokes from Kids and for Kids. Imagine the laughter and the friends your kids will make with their fun sense of humor. Use these jokes at dinner time too.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS  

Pick up 50 social skills to role play with your children at: 

Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Blog Cover Kit
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids