If your child's misbehavior is wild and you're unconcerned, listen to Sean's story. Our parenting expert and author, Dr. Partridge, is sharing and excerpt from his book, Building Character Skills in the Out-of-Control Child.
Sean's Character Building Story:
Sean was the son of very well-regarded parents in a prosperous suburban community. Strangely, when his mother sought consultation, his father did not appear to be particularly disturbed by his son's repeated behavior problems at school.
Sean was smart - so smart that he manipulated teachers, administrators and recreation leaders - and he terrorized his peers in the classroom and on the playground.
His father, as it developed, had been something of a maverick himself as a boy, and he didn't seem especially concerned. "So Sean's not functioning in the first grade," he told his wife. "It's no big deal. He's a bright kid. He'll get it."
But Sean didn't settle down. By the second grade, it became evident that he was becoming too violent for the public school environment. The family talked of a private school. Yet they were perceptive enough to realize that Sean probably wouldn't last long in a private school, either.
Another crisis arose over Sean's behavior with his Little League baseball team. Confrontations escalated, not only between Sean and his parents, but between his truly caring parents themselves. Sean detected messages that his father really wasn't serious about changing his behavior and effort.
Finally, it became apparent that his mother would have to lay it on the line to her husband: "We aren't going to have any family or a marriage unless you're willing to do something about this yourself."
At this point, Sean's father became convinced the situation really was serious, and he'd have to become fully involved with Sean. Just to make sure, I created a structure that virtually mandated his father's serious participation.
When the school called about Sean's latest episode, it was his father's responsibility to confer immediately with teachers and administrators.
About the third time that he received a summons from school and had to leave a waiting client, he became very serious about Sean's behavior problem. He knew he'd have to put himself on the line.
The struggle with Sean turned around right there.
Sean brought his daily report card from school directly to his father's nearby office. Dad administered Time-Out, extra jobs, and day-to-day discipline.
Very soon, Sean got the message. The unconcerned parent had become a determined parent. Clever though he was, Sean had run out of room to maneuver. (Pages 136-137)
Parents who make excuses for their out-of-control kids make big mistakes. When this dad began to civilize his wild child, the boy turned around. Parents are so important in training their children. Can you imagine how many people felt relieved when Sean's behavior changed for the better?
Why not pick up Dr. Partridge's book, Building Character In The Out-Of-Control Child
Available at Amazon.com
Let's APPLAUD Dr. Partridge for writing such a brilliant book. His solid ideas can help parents everywhere.
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Jean Tracy, MSS
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