To be resilient, your child needs to be confident, evaluate situations well, use his support system, and come up with good strategies. Today our parenting expert and author of the book, The Resilience Formula, Dr. Donna Volpitta, will help us with the first part, building confidence in our children.
Confidence and the Self:
Let's say your son's ride home from a party is drunk or your daughter is being bullied. How they think about their own abilities will determine what they do. They both need to feel, think, and look confident in their words and actions.
Will your son speak up and put his safety on the line?
Will his confidence help him find a better way home?
Will your daughter look and sound weak?
Will she look and sound confident?
Resilience shows itself in your child's self-talk, feelings, and actions. Dr. Volpitta gives us 4 parenting tips to teach our children from Tool Kits for Kids:
How Kids Can Appear Confident ~
1. Use direct eye contact when speaking and listening to people.
2. Stand up straight. (Avoid the shoulder slump.)
3. Speak loud enough to be heard and with moderate speed, not too fast or slow.
4. Keep a confident facial expression.
Parents can coach their kids by role-playing situations in front of a mirror.
Dr. Donna says, "Practicing these skills helps kids develop confidence because looking confident projects an image that shows other kids they are not easily shaken, and this increases their social capital."
Repeat Resilient Language:
When kids suffer from the loss of a friendship, a poor grade, or a scratched knee, what they tell themselves is important. Repeating reasonable statements helps them develop a wiser brain. Here are 3 ideas Dr. Donna suggests to teach children to repeat often when things don't go well:
"1. This is a difficult time. It's not difficult forever.
2. I may feel bad now, but I may feel better later.
3. My life may not be OK now, but in time, I can find a new way to be OK."
These accurate statements are believable. They give your child a perspective about time, that things can get better. (From pages 54-56)
Dr. Donna Volpitta has given us practical solutions for helping our children think, feel, and act with confidence. Teaching our kids confidence is a big first step to their becoming resilient.
Pick up Dr. Donna Volpitta's book, The Resilience Formula: A Guide to Proactive Not Reactive Parenting and teach your children the resilience formula.
Available on Amazon.com
Let's APPLAUD Dr. Volpitta for her excellence in helping parents raise resilient children.
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