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Teens with Tempers: How to Control Anger in Your Family


Teenage boy stubborn
Help Angry Teenagers with These Responses

Is anger controlling your teenager and your family? If you're concerned about your adolescent's anger and would like 5 responses to restrain your child's aggression, keep reading. Our parenting experts and authors of the book, The Whipped Parent, Marney Studaker-Cordner and Kimberly Abraham are here to help.

 Now we'll define juvenile domestic violence as a pattern of rough and domineering behaviors by juveniles against their parents and siblings. Next we'll give some examples. Then, Marney and Kimberly will share the 5 best responses a parent can use to dampen abusive situations.

4 Signs of Abuse by Teens in the Home Include:

  • Shoving
  • Hitting
  • Threats to harm
  • Using objects to hurt family members

Every family has arguments but they must not end in violence. You need to be concerned about your child and family when members are injured by explosive threats, actions, or gestures. Is there anything you can do reduce the flames of anger? Definitely!  Let's hear the advice of our authors.

How to De-escalate Hostile Behavior

  1. Change the way you think about the behavior.
  2. Stay out of power struggles.
  3. Don't jump to conclusions about why your teen is so upset.
  4. Realize you don't have the full story behind the anger.
  5. Avoid using triggers like blaming, criticizing, or challenging.
  6. Model how to handle situations calmly.

Take a "time out" for yourself if you can't do the above right away. Calm yourself down with deep breathing while counting to 10. Look in the mirror and practice the following responses with self-control, a serious and understanding face, and relaxed body language. When you're ready, talk to your teen with a stress-free voice.

5 Best Replies to Angry Teenagers

Pause and give time for your youngster to respond.

  1. "You seem really upset."
  2. "I understand how you're thinking about this issue. You know, there can be more than one way to look at things."
  3. "You certainly have a right to your opinion, and I respect that."
  4. "You know what? I appreciate your position, but I'm not in the mood to debate this at this time."
  5. "I hear what you're saying." (From pages 99-101)


I appreciate our authors' answers to upset teens. Their advice to pick the right time to talk with kids makes sense. Angry fights disconnect. Calm discussions reconnect and provide the opportunity for good solutions.

One more thing, if abuse in your family persists, you may need professional help. If danger occurs, you may need help from the law.


Let's THANK Marney and Kimberly for sharing better ways to respond to teenage anger. As social workers they've worked with families and know how to help.

Authors Marney and Kim
Marney Studaker-Cordner, MSW, CSW, Kimberly Abraham, MSW, CSW

Pick up your copy of:

The Whipped Parent: Hope for Parents Raising an Out-of-Control Teen

The Whipped Parent

Available at Amazon.com  


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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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