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Parenting: Teaching Your Child to Be a Buddy Not a Bully

Charmaine Hammond and Toby
Toby, the Pet Therapy Dog, Teaches Kids to Be Buddies

Teaching your young child to be kind is easy when you read and discuss, Toby Says Be a Buddy Not a Bully.  Charmaine Hammond, our parenting skills expert, wrote this charming book about her pet therapy dog, Toby. Today, Charmaine is here to show how Toby teaches a classroom of students how to think about bullying.

Toby's Story about Being Bullied

Some dogs are like some children. They bully other dogs by barking, growling, and stealing their toys. This happened to Toby. The students wanted to know how Toby reacted. His actions showed the kids just what to do if they're bullied.

As Miss Charmaine told Toby's story, the children asked questions, shared their feelings, and gave their advice. Their teacher, Mrs. Johnson, asked, "What can you do if someone hurts your feelings, is mean to you, or is being a bully to someone else?" Before you read their answers, I suggest you get your child to share what he would do.

Toby's Message about Being a Buddy

Toby likes all the kids for who they are, even if their shoes are purple with polka dots. He sends the message that appearances don't matter. It's what in a child's heart that counts.

Toby's Book Promotes Kindness

Miss Charmaine gives the class 'homework.' She asks them to do acts of kindness to friends, parents, and animals before the day is over. You can ask your child to think of specific things he could do to be kind.

Enjoy asking the discussion questions. You'll  find out what your child really thinks about being a bully or a buddy. 

In the end, you'll find Toby's 4 rules to post on your fridge. They'll give your youngster the best ideas for dealing with bullies.

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This excellent book makes a welcome gift for Christmas and birthdays. The colorful pictures will capture your child's imagination and the messages will touch his heart.

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Let's THANK Charmaine Hammond for creating a series about her dog, Toby. Charmaine said it took a lot of training in the beginning before Toby became a pet therapy dog. Once trained, she took him to schools, hospitals, and even libraries to cheer people up when they were unhappy, not feeling well, or needed to learn to be a buddy.

Pick up Toby Says Be a Buddy Not a Bully

Toby  says Be a Buddy

Available at Amazon.com

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

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The Power of Parents: What Research Proves

Father and Son
Powerful Parents Teach Values

Parents have power. Research proves it. Our parenting skills expert and author of Tools for Effective Parenting, Dr. Parnell Donahue, is here to share the research. He'll discuss the story of Luke, 3 studies, and how to use your power to share your values.

The Story of Luke and His Powerful Dad

Luke came to Dr. Parnell for his annual physical. As usual they had a chat first. On this particular day 16-year-old Luke talked about his Dad. He revealed that his dad would kill him if he ever smoked, drank, or had sex. When Dr. Parnell asked, "Your dad would kill you?" He said, "Oh, no, no." He said that it would probably kill his dad if he did those things.

Luke's dad was the kind of father who talked with, listened to, and shared his values with his son. Because Luke loved and respected his dad, he adopted his morals.

Parents Exert Power through Influence

Dr. Parnell believes too many parents think they have no impact on their kids' beliefs and behaviors. Yet every study Dr. Parnell has read shows that kids listen to and respect their parents.

Research and Parent Power

1. In the 2005 the Horatio Alger Survey of teens ages 14-19 years showed that most kids named a parent, sibling or other family member as a role model.

2. One summer Dr. Parnell asked 103 of the teens he evaluated, "Who most influences your values of right and wrong?" Again, most said mom, dad, or their parents.

3. A study from the University of Minnesota which included 12,000 teens from 7th to 12th grades concluded: "If parents expect adolescents to get good grades and refrain from sex, those expectations influence the adolescents' behavior powerfully through 12th grade, regardless of family income, race, or single or dual-parent status." (page 32)

Using Your Parenting Power

1. Without lectures, clarify your values with your kids.

2. Use teaching moments and discuss everyday stories and events in which people get drunk, wear inappropriate clothes, behave in anger and shoot others, get busted for drugs, and get pregnant as teens. "There is no better way-perhaps no other way-to teach values," says Dr. Parnell.

3. Model your values.

4. Make sure your kids feel loved by you. (From pages 29-34)

Dr. Parnell believes that when you listen to your teenager, discuss your values, and show your love, your power to influence will be strong.

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The fact that Dr. Parnell is a pediatrician, likes kids, teaches awesome parenting skills, and knows his research, makes him the expert we need to listen to. His new book, Tools for Effective Parenting, has the power to help parents everywhere.

Cover ~ Tools for Effective Parenting

Available at Amazon.com 

Let's THANK Dr. Parnell for his dedication to helping children and parents.

Blog Optimistic Dr. Parnell Donahue
Dr. Parnell Donahue

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parenting: 3 Top Ways to Encourage Your Child's Cooperation

Dad and Son Guitar
Reward Your Child's Cooperation with Fun Time Together

Encouraging your child to cooperate is easy. Our parenting skills expert author of the book, Easier Parenting, is here to share 3 top ways and 10 non-material rewards. Carole Disseldorp, a parent educator/counselor is the mother of 4 children and she has tons of experience. Let's find out how you can get your youngsters to work with you and not against you.

1. Encourage Cooperation

As parents what we say needs to be truthful, heartfelt, and specific.

  • I like how neatly you put your toys away, Josh.
  • You put a lot of effort into your drawing, Jennifer. Tell me what each part means to you.
  • Thank you for brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed without being told, Jim

Carole tells parents not to be surprised if your child follows your lead and begins to encourage you.

2. Use Gentle Reminders to Help

When young children don't follow through on your requests, it could be for the following reasons:

  • They stop listening when we give too many commands.
  • They're engrossed in what they're doing and aren't paying attention.
  • They tend to forget if what we're asking of them has little personal meaning to them.

3. Use Simple Rewards with the First/Then Formula

  • First put your toys away now, then we'll have time for a storybook.
  • First help me clean the kitchen, then we'll play some music together.
  • First wash your hands for dinner, then you can have dessert.

When children don't cooperate they miss out on both your positive attention and the rewards.

In the back of Carole's book she fills 4 pages of fun activities that can be rewards. Here are just 10 of them:

  1. Dancing
  2. Construction activities like Legos and blocks
  3. Making books
  4. Coloring
  5. Threading beads, pasta
  6. Playing ball, marbles
  7. Stenciling
  8. Paper folding, origami
  9. Card games
  10. Singing

(From pages 4-6 and 51-52)

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I like Carole's easy approach to parenting. As a parent educator, she helps us understand why kids don't cooperate. Some folks might think their children are stubborn or disrespectful. Most likely they're distracted or not listening. With her formula for asking youngsters to do a task first before receiving a non-material reward, she is motivating them to work with her.

I also like her insight into the reason kids may not pay attention to us, like when we ask them to do too many things.

Of course, Carole advises us not to become yellers. She knows kids get used to our yelling and don't take us seriously unless we get to a certain pitch, threat, or action. In the end our yelling could lead to their disrespect and our sense of frustration, resentment, and guilt. Yelling is a "lose-lose" behavior.

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Let's THANK Carole for sharing some of her vast experience with us.

Carole Disseldorp
 Carole Disseldorp

Pick up Carole's book, Easier Parenting: 8 Vital Principles to Guide Your Children's Behavior Successfully and make your parenting experience a joy.

  Cover Easier Parenting

 Available at Amazon.com

Please support today's author and share your opinions about this blog post. Just click on the COMMENTS link below. It will open up for you. We want to hear from you.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my FREE Parenting Newsletter and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.

 Click on the icons or Share This right next to the Green Triangle below to open up your social media sites and send. Thank you so much.