Could your daughter be more confident in her abilities, speak up more, and feel good about being a leader? “Yes!” say authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman in their book, The Confidence Code. Both women are top-notch in their fields. One is a political correspondent and the other a news anchor for BBC World News America.
Katty and Claire interviewed successful women and men in politics, arts, sports, and the military to learn truths about women and confidence. Today they’ll share some of what they’ve learned, what beliefs and behaviors females must change, and some actions to encourage in our girls.
How Men and Women Differ in Confidence
In general, men feel more confident than women. While men tend to speak up, share their ideas more freely, ask for raises more often, and expect higher salaries, women don’t. They lack the level of confidence that men possess even if they are smarter and more competent. What’s the problem?
The “Confidence Blacklist” Women Must Change:
Excessive people pleasing
Fear of speaking up and looking stupid
Ruminating about failures instead of ‘shaking’ them off
Seeing their success as “luck” instead of earned
Our authors found from interviewing successful women that they often wrestle with self-doubt. They interviewed male bosses who said that female employees often hesitate to share their good ideas. As a result, males who are less competent but more confident in their abilities, speak up and are rewarded.
The Good News for Girls
Confidence is the key and it can be learned. As parents, you’ll find many things you can do to help your daughter believe in herself and her abilities.
1. The Comfort Zone – Encourage your girl to expand her comfort zone. Praise her for her efforts to make friends, talk with adults, and speak up at meals with the extended family.
2. The Experiment – Urge your child to experiment speaking up in class. Suggest she notice whether her teacher or fellow students follow up on her ideas. If so, discuss her power to influence others. Cheer her on to speak up even more.
3. Thought-Stopping - Teach your daughter to “shake” off her failures. Let her know that over-thinking about mistakes lessens her confidence and holds her back. Ask her to come up with a powerful positive thought. Help her practice switching to it when a failure floods her mind.
Measure your own confidence with the Confidence Quiz. Then follow the suggestions to increase your confidence even more at: http://theconfidencecode.com/confidence-quiz
Our Gratitude goes to Katty Kay and Claire Shipman for their in-depth work to bring us information and strategies that help women and girls increase their confidence.
Claire Shipman and Katty Kay
The Confidence Code is a powerful book, filled with research, results of interviews, insights, and practical advice for women. The authors also have many suggestions on how to build confidence in your daughters.
Available on Amazon.com
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