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5 Parenting Mistakes and 7 Solutions for Raising Great Kids

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When Parents Give Their Power Away

If you feel disrespected, listen to our parenting skills expert, Dr. Robin Berman. She’s both a psychiatrist and author of the brand new book, Permission to Parent. Today she’ll share 7 major tips from her chapter, ‘Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later.’ You’ll find out why your kids treat you poorly, what to do about it, and how the 7 tips fit the '3 B Formula.'

Why Parents Aren’t Respected

Dr. Robin believes that many parents are reversing their strict upbringing. Instead of parenting from a balanced middle, they raise their kids from the rear, which means they aren’t leading at all. Here are some examples:

1. Kids throw tantrums and get what they want.

2. Children yell at and/or hit parents without negative consequences.

3. Youngsters argue and get their way.

4. Parents give kids too many choices and ask youngsters to make too many big decisions.

5. Mothers and fathers fail to establish clear rules and act inconsistently.

These behaviors put kids in charge.

Dr. Robin knows young brains are not ready for such power. “Kids’ frontal lobes, where critical thinking resides, are still in the very early stages of development. The frontal lobe will not be fully formed until they are well into their twenties.” (page 22)

She also knows not all parents do poorly. Her focus is in helping parents who are confused and will profit from her clear guidelines.

7 Parenting Tips that Put Parents in Charge

1. Make your long term goal to raise a person of character. Dr. Robin suggests your mantra be, “Hate me now. Thank me later.”

2. Follow through when you say “No.”

3. Make few but clear rules and be consistent.

4. Give consequences for bad behavior.

5. Don’t be the friend. Be the parent.

6. Give choices. Make them few and age-appropriate.

7. Reverse Negotiate. The more your kids argue with you, the less they get. She says, “It works like a charm.” (page 26)

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Realize these jewels are just from the first chapter. I like Dr. Robbins’ approach because they fit the 3 B Formula, “Be kind. Be firm. Be consistent.” If parents follow this formula when children are young, parenting will be easier when kids are older. They’ll be raising children with good character too.

One more thing, when you’re the parent, your kids will thrive.

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Pick up Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits.

Permission to Parent

Available on Amazon.com

Scroll down to see a short interview with Dr. Berman on Amazon.com 

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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