The Bullied Child - How Parents Can Help
Bullying is a big deal. When a bullied child fills his mind with revenge, bad things can happen.
Or he thinks thoughts like:
- Nobody likes me.
- I’m so ugly.
- I’m stupid.
His mind recycles many painful thoughts. He may turn his pain into self-shame.
In this post, I will share how a parent of elementary age children can counsel their bullied child with ideas that work.
How Your Bullied Child Is a Big Deal for the You
Imagine your child, Samuel, hates school. You talk to his teacher. She says, “Your child is being bullied and he has no friends.”
You learn what kids yell at him and it breaks your heart because the name-calling happens over and over.
Now Sam avoids eye contact. He doesn’t talk. He stays alone in his room. Lately, he pouts, grunts his answers, and often cries. His behavior hurts you because you love him so much.
What can you do?
- Go to him. Hug and hold him gently. Say, “I know something is wrong.”
- Tell Sam what you’ve noticed about his behavior that tells you he’s unhappy.
- Ask him, “What’s going on, Sam?”
The Pillow Punching Technique
If Sam cries or just grunts say, “Here’s a way to let your feelings out. Take this pillow. Punch it as hard as you can. Do it over and over until you feel better. I’ll be here if you need me.”
When Sam’s done ask, “What was that all about?”
Listen without interruption. When he stops talking say, “Tell me more.”
The Stress Drawing Technique
The painful picture:
Tell Sam to draw a picture of his feelings. The picture could be dark scribbles, a stick picture of himself, or something else. Say, “Tell me about your picture.”
Appreciate what your child told you. Say, “Thank you for sharing your pain with me.
The positive picture
Ask Sam to:
- “Draw a picture of how you would like things to be.”
- “Brainstorm 3 good ideas to try for making your positive picture come true.”
The Bullying Plan
Because bullying is a big deal, include your child in the plan. Make sure he will cooperate. Tell him, “No one deserves to be bullied and that means you.” Here's How:
In this article you'll also find important tips to help your bullied child make friends.
Watch this short video together.
Related Product: Social Skills Kit for Kids
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