Overworked Moms Lose Their Tempers.

Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.

Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”

Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.

Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”

Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.

Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”

The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.

They’ve heard it all before.

Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.

4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:

1. Messy kids' bedrooms
2. Dirty dishes in sink
3. Filthy floor
4. Loud video games

Exhausted Moms and Guilt

 “This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”

 

This was my dream of raising kids

What to Do?

1. Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
2. Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
3. Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
4. Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.

What to Include in the Family Meeting:

1. Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
2. Avoid making it a complaint session.
3. Start with compliments for all.
4. Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
5. Write down solutions from each member.
6. Group picks the best solutions.
7. Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
8. Post the commitments on the fridge.
9. End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.

Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.

Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:

Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.

Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.

Related Video:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

You might also like:

33 Family Meetings Kids Love

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/product/kdeb003

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Motivating Your Child Is Easy

CHILDREN LEARN THROUGH THEIR SENSES. Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching are built-in learning gifts. Parents CAN encourage kids to gain knowledge with sense-based compliments. Today, you’ll find several ways to encourage your child’s efforts to expand their intelligence. 

Your Children Feel Great with Loving Touches

Perhaps you want to teach your child kindness. His sense of touch could come alive with a pat on the back, a hug, a kiss, or a hand squeeze. When you notice a caring behavior, you could say something like, “I appreciate how you let your brother play video games with the older kids.” A pat on the back might be the perfect touch.

Your Kids Learn through Tasty Foods and Delicious Smells

Consider promoting your child’s cooking skills. Let’s say she decides to bake chocolate chip cookies. She’ll learn to read recipes and measure ingredients. You could inspire further cooking by saying, “Your cookies taste as good as they smell.” A warm cookie with a glass of milk could further her desire to learn new recipes.

Children Smile When They See Their Work

Refrigerators and kitchen bulletin boards are super places to post their masterpieces. Art work, school work, even a photo of a bed well-made can motivate them to keep on trying. Your comments like, “How did you challenge yourself to write such an interesting report,” encourages them further.

Kids Love to Hear Special Sounds

 

Use Her Sense of Sound to Motivate Her

Perhaps your child enjoys baseball and made a difficult catch. Your words like, “How did it feel when you caught the fly and threw it to third base for a double out?” puts her back in those moments when the crowd was cheering. Because of your praise and the crowd’s roars, she’s likely to practice catching and throwing even more.

For more ideas using the senses to motivate your child, go to:

How Parents Motivate Kids Through Their Senses

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 Poem for Kids - 'Self-Pity Isn't Pretty'

Do you have an over-sensitive child? Does she feel sorry for herself way too often? How can you help her get off the 'pity potty?'

Let her know when bad things happen some self-pity is okay. It's the habit of holding on to 'poor me' thinking and recycling the thoughts over and over that will weaken her spirit and bring her down.

Tell her "Being upset is normal. Try not to repeat the thoughts that hurt you." You might add,

"Miserable thoughts may soothe you at the time but will harm you when you make them a habit. They are like “10,000 nasty trolls.” They can follow you into adult life and make you a very unpleasant person on both the inside and outside.”

Our parenting present today is my poem, 'Self-Pity Isn't Pretty.' It includes the problem and solutions. Ask your child to draw, memorize, or clip out and post it in a place where it will remind her to:

“…Choose to rise above self-pity,

With a “CAN DO” mind that’s pretty.”

Get the whole poem by inserting code word,

POEM

at Subscriber Gifts or http://kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

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Teaching Good Morals and Values Is Fun!

STORIES WITH MORALS AND VALUES SHOULD COME FROM REAL LIFE.

Years ago when I taught 3^rd grade, a girl I’ll call Thelma took her classmates’ school supplies, candy, and toys and hid them in her desk. Child after child came to me saying, “Someone stole my…” I thought they just misplaced their things until the classroom candy can was emptied almost as soon as I filled it. Candy was a great motivator for good behavior and for hard work in those days.

One day items began tumbling out of Thelma’s desk. Nearby kids shouted, “There’s my..."

Thelma's situation became one of the stories in my e-book, Character Building on Back Talk Street and in the short video below.

First, watch the video.

Second, go to my article, How Parents the Kids Discuss Morals and Values, with its step-by-step details showing how to use the 5 Goal Questions.

Please subscribe to Jean Tracy's YouTube Channel for more parenting tips.

Here's the article, How Parents the Kids Discuss Morals and Values, on how to use the 5 goal questions effectively.

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Pick up,
Character Building on Back Talk Street

It Includes:

15 discussion stories

The 5 goal questions for each story

 Letters with problems and answers

 Activities between parents and children

 Puzzles, mazes, and word finds

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This Boy's Tutoring Is Making a Difference!

STORIES RULE, WHEN KIDS RESOLVE TO DO GOOD DEEDS, they follow the message today's parenting expert and author, Miriam Laundry, shares in her new book, I Can Make a Difference."

This book promotes what children need for a healthy character - a caring heart and a thoughtful mind. 

Your Kids Will Love This Storybook Because:

1. It begins in your child's familiar setting - the classroom.

2. The teacher, Mrs. Ruby, gives each child a positive task.

3. The task makes her students think about how they could make a difference.

4. The story gives the reader more than 7 ideas for doing good deeds.

5. The 3-T Formula at the end of the story is perfect for great discussions.

6. This beautifully illustrated book ends with a special pledge every child can take.

Two Suggestions for Using This Book:

First Idea ~

I suggest parents and teachers read it with their elementary age children and pause to ask them:

1. What do you think Alex's teacher wanted her class to learn?

2. In the beginning of the story did you think Alex was kind of selfish? Why?

3. How did Alex's class help him see his good points?

4. Can you name some ways Alex and his classmates made a difference?

5. What good deeds could you do to make a difference?

Second Idea ~

I encourage parents and teachers to ask their children to create a simple list of what they could do to help others. Post those good deeds on the bulletin board or refrigerator as a reminder. At the end of class time, at dinner time, or at bedtime ask, "How did you make a difference today?" This daily practice could create a healthy mindset in your children.

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As I read this book with my grandkids, I asked them the questions and learned special things about each child. They even brainstormed more ideas for making a difference.

Books like Miriam Laundry's will help your children look beyond themselves and show them how to care about others. Because of its terrific message, Miriam's book rules!

Let's THANK Miriam Laundry for making a difference by writing this book. Her story will help your children build a healthy character.

Available at Amazon.com

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Parents Who Love Kids "Just Right"

HOW TO PARENT WITH LOVE AND CONFIDENCE is the subject of our parenting skills author, Dr. Robin Berman.

In her book, Permission to Parent, Dr. Robin says, "Lasting bonds are forged through a combination of love, limits, and time." Today she'll share how to love your kids "just right."

Dr. Robin Berman offers stories from her student days as an intern. An older woman, who was dying of cancer said, "I want my mom." Even though her mother had died many years ago, her mom's love gave her the comfort she needed. The old woman carried that love throughout her life. It was that loving bond which helped her now.

Throughout her book, Dr. Robin shares stories that reinforce her point, a loving parent/child bond is everything. I was inspired by her tale of the man in his eighties and of the young mute girl who was dying of AIDS and why she spoke to the author.

Love, limits, and time are Dr. Robin's recipe for family peace. She not only uses stories to show how the parent/child bond works, she uses insightful quotes from ordinary moms and dads like:

The Loving Connection

"It' is all about the connection. I want my daughter to feel how much I love her. I slow it down, I get low. I sit on the floor. I meet her where she is. I don't parent from above. I want to reach her, eye to eye, soul to soul." - Father of three

Reaching your child and making the connection is another point Dr. Robin makes. But some parents reach too far. They are "helicopter parents" because they hover too close. Instead of making their kids strong through their love, they make their children anxious.

3 Examples of What Helicopter Parents Do:

1. They rush to do their child's work.

2. They try their best to prevent all pain.

3. They send the message, "You need me because you can't do things on your own."

Dr. Robin calls this "Bubble wrapping." Helicopter parents prevent their kids from thinking, "I can do it myself."

The author also explains how parents can give healthy love that fosters independence and security.

3 Ways Parents Love Best:

1. They respond with a soothing calmness.

2. They give the child room to solve problems on their own.

3. They send the message, "You can do it. I believe in you."

This kind of love gives the child a belief in himself and leads to self-confidence.

Parents who aren't sure if they're doing too much or too little will appreciate this book. It clearly shows them how to give their children the love that lasts a lifetime. 

Many parenting authors write fine books. Dr. Robin's book is among the best because she focuses on the foundation - LOVE. She knows the way to parenting "just right."

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If you'd like a parenting book that lays out step-by-step tips and truths, pick up Permission to Parent - How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits. Your children will profit and so will you.

Let's THANK our Parenting Skills author, Dr. Robin Berman, for sharing her positive insights into parenting "just right."

Robin Berman, MD

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****** 

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Raising Your Daughter's Confidence

Is your girl's self-confidence related to your confidence? Yes!

If you're a mom, have you ever asked yourself,

How can I get my daughter to,

1. Raise her hand in class?

2. Stop worrying about looking and being perfect?

3. Bounce back from failures and try again?

Could boys profit from the lessons in this book? Certainly! I refer to girls because they're generally plagued with fears of imperfection more than boys.

Today I'll review The Confidence Code, the perfect book to help you and, in turn, help your daughter grow. Here's my review:

“Think Less. Take Action. Be Authentic.” – Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

The Confidence Code reveals the pervasive and deep-seated problems women and girls experience with perfectionism. Through scientific research and interviews with the world’s most powerful women, the authors, Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, give us the secret to building confidence and shaking off failures.

The authors, both high achievers as television journalists, share their personal difficulties with being confident. Their transparency makes them believable.

Readers will say, “I’ve done that” or “I’ve felt that way.”

In the end, they’ll be encouraged to embrace the code and travel the high road to self-assurance.

Themes within This Revolutionary Book Are:

1. Overcoming the blacklist of perfectionism.

2. Being willing to take reasonable risks.

3. Accepting failures as "no big thing."  

You'll learn how to think, deal with feelings, and make your life more meaningful when you read and practice the confidence code. Share what you learn with your children.

If you're a woman who wants to improve your life and help your daughters, read The Confidence Code. It will help you break the chains of perfectionism, become your authentic self, and experience a profound freedom deep within. What a treasure to share with your child!

Teach Your Daughter These Important Lessons:

1. Shake off failure by stopping the overthinking that holds them back.

2. Get back in the game with clear enthusiastic thoughts.

3. Be willing to make mistakes and try again.

4. Take the risks that promote growth.

When you learn the code and practice it, you'll boost your self-assurance and take your life to the next level. You'll be the model your daughter needs.

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I chose the hard cover version to read because it’s easy to copy quotes, write notes, and add the page numbers I want to return to. It’s also available on other devices like the kindle.

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Let's THANK Claire Shipman and Katty Kay for writing this revolutionary book.

Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

Pick up your copy of The Confidence Code on Amazon.com  http://amzn.to/1iQ21Ih

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****** 

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Listening Builds Love and Trust

If you’d like your kids to confide in you, conversations are essential. Our parenting skills expert, Carole Disseldorp, is here to show us how. Carole is a parent educator, counselor, and the author of, Easier Parenting.

Today she’ll share 5 listening tips, the best type of questions to ask, and good times for creating the kind of talks that children trust. Let’s find out her advice.

How to Listen When Your Kids Are Talking:

1. Turn toward them.

2. Look eye-to-eye.

3. Ask questions to help them share more.

4. Reflect back their meaning or feelings to show you understand.

5. Avoid interrupting or arguing.

Carole says, “If we can show interest, resist interrogating, and abstain from being judgmental, our children will be more likely to share their experiences, feelings, and thoughts.”

Open-Ended Questions Move the Conversation Forward:

Open-ended questions can’t be answered with:

• Grunts
• Yes
• No

These questions help kids share their observations, feelings, and thoughts. For example, “What do you think about…?”

Where to Enjoy Great Conversations with Kids:

• Mealtimes
• Driving times (Keep your eyes on the road.)
  
• Screen-free times

Carole warns, “If we criticize our children when they open up to us, they are less likely to confide in us in the future.” (From pages 11-14)

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Jean’s Impressions:

If we follow Carole’s advice, it will make parenting easier. Her tips for listening and asking questions are crucial. When children trust that we will listen with interest and kindness, they’ll share their deeper thoughts.

Parents who interrupt, criticize, and argue shut down their power to influence. Why? Because these behaviors hurt feelings and break the trusting bond with their kids.

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Be sure to pick up Easier Parenting: 8 Vital Principles fo Guide Your Children's Behavior Successfully

Available at: Amazon.com

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Let's THANK Carole for her clear and common sense approach to raising kids. She makes parenting easier for all of us.

   Carole Disseldorp

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If you’re looking for discipline advice with a spiritual outlook, you’re in the right place. Our parenting skills expert, Gigi Schweikert, is here to share 5 solid principles suited to any parent’s beliefs. She is the author of There’s a Perfect Little Angel in Every Child.

First, Gigi will share what ‘little angels’ really look like, how to view their misbehavior, and reveal 5 solid discipline practices.

Does Your Perfect Child Look Like This?

Gigi says “Yes” even when their haloes appear a bit crooked.

1. Kids leave the cupboards wide open.

2. They splash in puddles with their green frog-eyed boots.

3. They forget to do their homework.

4. They cover their faces with mommy’s make-up.

5. Their hands are filthy from digging earthworms.

6. They leave cookie crumbs on the kitchen counter.

7. Their coloring marathons leave marks everywhere.

How to Find the Angel in Your Child

Because children are always learning by exploring, experimenting, and testing your limits, Gigi tells us to:

1. Remember your children’s beauty when they’re asleep.

2. See them through the eyes of wonder.

3. Appreciate their limitless energy.

4. Admire their creativity.

5. Smile at their constant testing behavior.

As parents we have the privilege to guide these wonderful children to be the best they can be. That means turning off our super critical eye to their manners, behavior, or odd wardrobe colors and turn on our positive discipline skills.

Why Parents Must Discipline:

• To help children develop good behaviors
• To guide them  in understanding the differences between right and wrong
• To encourage them to make positive choices

If children learn these things when they're young, they’ll more likely choose well  when they’re adults.

Gigi says, “Discipline is not negative; it’s not mean; it’s not punishment. Rather, discipline is everything we do, say, and teach our children in order to grow them up to be wise, caring, and socially responsible adults. Discipline is, quite simply, raising our children.” (From page 9)

5 Solid Discipline Practices

1. Time Out – one minute for each of your child’s years.

2. Use a loud voice like ‘STOP!’ to prevent danger.

3. Pull over and stop the car when they’re fighting.

4. Get your child’s attention by looking at them at eye-level.

5. Stop what you’re doing when they misbehave. Go to them with a serious look and stance.

These are just a few of the multitude of ideas Gigi shares for guiding your child.

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I believe Gigi helps us see the bigger picture. We want our children to become loving responsible people. If we look at them through the eyes of love, work on our patience, and discipline wisely, we'll be good parents and they'll become the fine adults they were meant to be.

Pick up

There's a Perfect Little Angel in Every Child: How to Discipline Your Child with Love and Patience

Available at

Amazon.com

Gigi Schweikert presents workshops at the local, state, and national levels to parents, teachers and corporations. Let's THANK Gigi for sharing her knowledge with us today as a leader in the early childhood education field.

    Gigi Schweikert

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When Parents Are Rude to Kids

If you’re a parent who uses sarcasm, rude remarks, or putdowns, you can change. In today's blog you’ll read about a thoughtful teen’s concerns. You'll also hear advice from our parenting skills expert, Annie Fox, M.Ed, who wrote Teaching Kids To Be Good People. I will add my impressions too.

What a Sympathetic 15-Year-Old Boy Writes to Annie

"I'm really a sensitive guy. People have turned away from me since I was 10.” He tells Annie he knows what it feels like to be rejected. Now he sees his parents rejecting his 8-year-old sister with their rude remarks.  He can see in his sister’s eyes her loneliness. “She has no friends,” he says. “I feel her pain.” (from page 135)

Annie’s Expert Advice

First, Annie empathizes with the boy. She lets him know he’s a compassionate and kind-hearted person. She suggests he step in and help his sister. “Tell her she is not alone. That you’re her friend and you’ll watch over her.”

Here’s the hard one. Annie tells him to talk to his parents respectfully. “Tell them what you have observed.” (from page 222)

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Jean’s Thoughts

We all need someone in our corner, someone who understands our feelings and who is there for us. Annie encouraged the boy to be that person for his sister.

I also like Annie’s approach because she urged him to tell his parents the behaviors he observed. That’s different from calling them “rude.” Observations are easier to accept. Name calling could cause a big defensive fight from his parents.

How could parents know if they’re rude to their children?

Rude Parents Might Say:

1. “You’re a knucklehead!”

2. “Don’t be so stupid.”

3. “What’s wrong with you?”

4. “I’m ashamed of you.”

5. “When are you ever going to learn?”

Perhaps you’ve said similar things to your kids or even worse like, “I wish you were never born.” Maybe you thought your comments would help your kids make positive changes. Or you could have repeated the words your own parents said to you.

If you are rude or critical and want to change, you can.

First, admit it.

Second, realize your remarks are hurting not helping.

Third, make a plan with or without your spouse for changing these behaviors.

Apologize whenever you’re unkind and then follow your plan. If you do, you’ll be helping your child and yourself become the positive character building people you were meant to be.

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Let's THANK Annie for sharing from her book, Teaching Kids To Be Good People: Progressive Parenting for the 21st Century.

   Annie Fox, M.Ed.

Pick up her book on Amazon.com and read many more letters from worried teenagers. You'll find Annie's wise advice too.

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