Kids Become the Way They Think 

As we enter the New Year, it's the perfect time to reflect on our parenting methods. Let's set positive intentions for our children's growth. One crucial aspect to consider is the development of thinking patterns. Just as a plant needs sunshine and water to survive, your child needs a positive mindset to bloom. Let's examine five toxic thinking habits and how we can help our children overcome them for a brighter future.

 

Turn Her "I Can'ts" into "I-Cans."

1. The 'I Can't' Dilemma: Is your child trapped in the grip of "I can't" thoughts? This self-limiting belief can slow her progress. She may resort to the easy way out when faced with challenges, saying, "It's too hard." 

The antidote? Encourage her to take small steps and celebrate each achievement. By fostering an “I Can” mindset, she'll realize that every effort contributes to success, no matter how small.

 

Teach Him that Failure is a Steppingstone to

Success.

2. The Mistake Magnifier: Does your child magnify mistakes and stop trying?  Giving up could seem easier. Perhaps he fears failure. The fear of failure can shrink growth. It’s important to emphasize that mistakes are stepping stones to success.

Mistakes help us. Mistakes tell us what doesn't work. They say, "Stop repeating my errors. Try something else." Help your child view errors as ways to learn and grow. Show him how to break down problems into easy steps. You'll be helping him overcome his fear of failure. By accepting his mistakes, he can try new ways. He can start on a journey of continuous growth.

 

Turn "I'll Never Understand This" into "I Am

Understanding This Page by Page."

3. The Generalizer: If your child uses sweeping words like "all," "every time," "always," and "never" in negative statements, she might be falling into the trap of generalization. Generalizations exaggerate and are rarely true. Challenge her exaggerated statements by asking her, "Is, 'I'll never understand this really true'?" or is it an exaggeration?" Help her recognize that using such words leads to discouragement.

Teach her to drop her sweeping statements. Then focus her attention on breaking problems into smaller bits. By encouraging clear language, you guide her toward a more positive and realistic view of herself, her problems, and the world.

 

Teach Him to Recognize the Truth in Your Compliments.

4. The Compliment Problem: When your child rejects compliments and turns them into personal criticism, it could be a sign of fuzzy thinking. Perhaps he's convinced himself he's not good enough.

Make sure your praise is specific and something he cannot deny. "Doug, I like how you wash your sheets and make your bed each week." Then teach him to accept your approval with a smile. You'll be turning his negative thoughts into honest beliefs about himself. His self-esteem will grow. He'll start to become a clear thinker too. 

 

Avoid Promoting Helplessness by

Doing Her Work for Her.

5. Mountain or Molehill: Does your child turn everyday chores into mountains? She may even try to prove she is helpless. She needs to face her tasks.

Empower her with honest praise whenever she completes a small responsibility. Use specific words to help her realize she can do things for herself. "I like how carefully you dried and put the dishes away." She will want more of your approval and rely more on her abilities. Keep teaching her more age-appropriate tasks and compliment her with specifics when she achieves them. 

Boosting Positive Mindsets: You are invaluable in shaping your child's attitude. Changing negative thinking into positive mindsets isn't an overnight process but it is worth the effort.  Don't give up.

Here are three puzzles for your child  to unscramble and discuss in fostering positivity this New Year:

1. Unscramble this word, KIMSATES, and discuss how it can help you grow.
2. Unscramble this word, SMTEIDNS, and discuss why a positive one is important.
3. Unscramble this word, LEBOPSRM, and discuss why these help you think.

 

Enter Code: POSITIVE at www.KidsDiscuss.com

Answers to the 3 Puzzles:

1. Mistakes
2. Mindsets
3. Problems

Like this post? Comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting Newsletter 

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Why Listening is a Parenting Superpower

Listening is a powerful parenting tool that can help you build stronger relationships, solve problems, and create compassion within your family. Here are six reasons why listening counts:

1. Listening Cares

 My listening is caring.

My kids love our sharing.

Listening Is the Caring Connection Between Parent and Child

"When you listen, you sprinkle caring into the conversation."

When you listen to your child with care, you show them that you value their thoughts and feelings. This helps them feel loved and supported, which is essential for their emotional well-being.

Listening Understands

I listen with understanding,

And my mind is expanding.

Listening Boosts Understanding Between Parents and Children

"When parents listen, they give children the gift of their time and attention."

When you listen to your child with understanding, you try to see things from their perspective. This helps you build trust and rapport, and it makes it more likely that your child will come to you for help when they need it.

3. Listening Heals

 

My listening is healing.

It's a beautiful feeling.

Listening is the Superpower to Healing Your Kids' Emotions

"Your listening is the silent kiss your child loves." 

Listening heals. When you listen to your child with compassion, you help them to feel validated and understood. This can help them to heal from emotional pain and to cope with difficult experiences.

4. Listening Supports

 

My listening is supportive,

And the results are effective.

Listening Gives Your Child the Support System They Need

"Love is heard through the ears, not just the lips."

When you listen to your child with support, you offer them encouragement and guidance. This helps them to feel confident and capable, and it makes it more likely that they will succeed in life.

5. Listening Encourages

 

My listening is encouraging,

And my children are

flourishing.

 

Encouraging Parents Boost Their Children's Belief in Themselves

"Your listening is like a warm hug in your child's heart."

When you listen to your child with encouragement, you let them know that you believe in them. This helps them to develop a positive self-image and to achieve their goals.

6. Listening Bonds

 

My listening is bonding, 

And my children are responding.

Children Who Feel Heard and Respected by Their Parents Bond with Them

"Parents who listen are like hearts beating in harmony with their children."

 When you listen to your child with empathy, you create a strong connection between you and them. This helps your child to feel safe and loved, and it makes it more likely that they will thrive.

Based on this article, here is a little Quiz. Pick out the best answer:

When you listen to your child with care, you show them that you:

• 1. Value their thoughts and feelings
  2. Love and support them
  3. Understand their perspective
  4. All the above

When you listen to your child with care you show 'd' All the above. 

Conclusion for Listening - Your Parenting Superpower

Listening is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. But it's one of the most important skills a parent can have. By listening to your child with care, understanding, and compassion, you can build a solid foundation for a happy and healthy relationship.

Your call to action: Pick out one of the 6 listening techniques to practice. Add a new one each week. Let me know the results.

This 50-second video The Key to Family Closeness is helpful when you don't have time to talk. Its tip is priceless.

 

The Key to Family Closeness

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

"There's Something about Love that Builds Up and Is Creative."

Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted his four little children (and all people) judged by the "content of their character," not "the color of their skin." Dr. King believed in love not hate. Find out how character, judgment and love fit together in a way Dr. King might approve.

Effective parents teach children to judge. Not by skin color but by searching for the good.

Today, I’ll share how this love works through the story of Gabby, a family activity, and an activity that increases others’ self-esteem. It creates friendships too.

Practice it in your home. I guarantee it will boost your family’s love. Then watch it spread outward from your family to others.

 

Dad, I like how you take the time to play UNO with me.

How Kids Judge Others by the "Content of Their Character"

Dr. King was right. "There is something about love that builds up and is creative." 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Don't Let Your Bashful Child Be Lonely!

Timid kids feel pain. Parents watch and suffer. Loneliness wins.

Imagine your child sitting alone in the lunchroom thinking,

“No one will sit with me. Nobody likes me.”

What does she feel? Does she rush to the bathroom and hide until classes start again?

Bashful kids don’t have to be friendless. You can help. There is a 3-part blueprint that works.

Go slow. Keep the steps small. Why? Because shy kids are overwhelmed by fearful thoughts and feelings. Big leaps don’t work.

3 Don’ts for Overcoming Shyness

1. Don’t speak up for your children because they’ll lose the chance to speak up for themselves.
2. Don’t make excuses for your children because they’ll rely on those excuses and not try.
3. Don’t put your children down for being shy because your comments will add to their misery.

3 Do’s for Helping Shy Kids Make Friends

1. Do ask if they’d like to make friends because you want to know if they’ll cooperate.
2. Do ask, “What stops you from making friends?" because the answer is important and will help you guide them with the blueprint.
3. Do tell them that making friends is a skill they can learn because it will give them the hope they need.

 

A Few Friends Can Make a Big Difference.

Shy kids need your patience because impatience shuts them down. Remember, even tiny steps require taking risks. Your children may never become an outgoing extrovert or big talker. But, with your help, they can overcome loneliness and satisfy their need for a few close friends.   

Pick up the Blueprint by inserting the code, SPEAK UP at:

KidsDiscuss.com

Or

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

You may also like my kindle book for kids with stories and 75 real tips for creating friendships at: Amazon.com

 

Friendships Bring Happiness to Kids

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Don't Let the Big Bad Bully

Torment Your Child

Big Bad Bullies are Critical Judges. They mess with your child's mind. Their constant put-downs harm self-esteem and prevent their victims from liking themselves. 

 

Jack Canfield & Miriam Laundry

In this brand new book, Miriam Laundry teams up with Chicken Soup for the Soul Expert, Jack Canfield. Together they share the story of a girl tormented by a big bad bully who haunted her every move.

One day she found the bully in the school bathroom. Did she stand up to the bully? Or did she run away "like a scared little chicken?" 

In the end, your child will learn a method for dealing with the big bad bully. 

What My 12 Year-Old Granddaughter Thought:

 

Allyssa

"It tricked me and I thought it was a real girl who was being bullied and I could relate to it. It turned out it was herself and she was her own worst critic. I criticize myself a lot and it turns out nobody is actually paying attention to what I'm insecure about. I'm going to start doing the author's The Positive Mirror Exercise. I think it's going to help me a lot."

Suggestion for Parents:

I suggest you read this beautifully illustrated book with your child. Discuss  and practice The Positive Mirror Exercise together. You'll find 5 other exercises for helping her conquer the bully.  

Don't let your child's self-esteem prevent her from liking herself. Pick up this book at Amazon.com now. It will make a great birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, or 'just because' present.

The Big Bad Bully

https://www.amazon.com/Big-Bad-Bully-Jack-Canfield/dp/0757323081

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

The Aggressive Child Lacks Friends

 

Aggressive kids, like Joey aren't liked. He hated waiting in line at the water fountain. He'd shove the kids lined up ahead of him. They'd fall forward like dominoes. The first child always hit his face while drinking. Joey laughed. I visited his parents and had a glimpse into Joey's life at home. 

The father put his wife down several times during our conversation. She looked straight into my eyes but said nothing. Tears ran down her face.

When parents model meanness, children pick it up. Joey was mean. He didn't know how to relate to others.

I found out that Joey's dad was too busy to spend time with Joey. Joey didn't feel important. He didn't feel love from his dad. As we ended the meeting, Joey's father promised to spend time with him. He and his wife decided to work on their relationship too.

Teaching children how to assert themselves, speak up with respect, and be friendly starts at home. Parents must model how to communicate well. If they don't know how, they can learn. The following article will show how.

 Assertive Children  - How Parents Raise Great Communicators

You'll find:

1. An empowering formula for teaching kids assertiveness skills

2. 5 assertive role-plays to practice at the dinner table

3. A fun family activity 

4. An assertive poem for kids

How Joey Became Assertive

Joey told me with a big smile that his dad playfully put shaving cream on his face and let him shave it off with an empty razor. It made a real difference. Joey, over a matter of weeks, stopped shoving kids and started making friends. A greater respect developed between Joey's parents. Soon they were ready to learn the Assertiveness Formula within this article:

Assertive Children  - How Parents Raise Great Communicators

 

Loving Parents Empower Kids

You can raise assertive children by practicing the formula within your family. Advise your kids to use it with others too. If you do, they'll learn to speak up for themselves, make friends, and become respectful communicators too.

Watch our brief video on assertiveness:

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

2 Conversations Can Help Your Kids

Develop Successful Attitudes.

ENVISION YOUR CHILD’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS HELPED BY 9 NEW MOTIVATING IDEAS.  You can plant those ideas with 2 conversations about positive attitudes.

First Conversation - Your Child's Inner Self-Talk

Just like you, children everywhere have conversations in their heads. Their inner conversations can sow seeds of discouragement, “I never do anything right,” or sprout growth, “I love learning new things.” Let's find out how to turn their internal chats into positive mottoes.

Second Conversation - Your Parent/Child Discussions

Talk with your child about the power of positive thinking and the importance about being curious. Let her know that her outlook will greatly determine whether she succeeds or fails. Why? Because the thoughts in her head influence her feelings and become self-fulfilling prophecies. Discuss how she can become a successful thinker  by sharing the 9 self-talk sayings in this parenting gift.

 

It's Never to Early to Talk about Attitudes

Ask your children which saying is best one for repeating often. Better yet see if they can create a self-fulfilling one-liner of their own. Rhymes are easier to remember. Post the one that fits best.

Great posting places include the fridge, a bulletin board, a bedroom door and a bathroom mirror.

 

Posting Positive Attitudes

Become Eye-Candy Reminders

Be sure to save these 9 curiosity mottoes in your 3-hole binder. Revisit them whenever you need to discuss motivation with your child.

Enter Code:  CURIOSITY at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Download Your Parenting Gift Now

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Creating and Achieving Goals with Rhymes

that Motivate Kids

POSITIVE RHYMES MOTIVATE KIDS. Repetition recirculates them in their memories and becomes well-traveled paths in their brains. 

I remember a quote from 5th grade when our class was learning about explorers, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." That became a lifelong slogan for me. It helped me motor (although slowly) through many a tough math class.

When a motivating rhyme is catchy and appeals to your child , suggest creating a bookmark, a poster, or a sticky note of it. It might become a well-traveled path and a lifelong motivator too.

In today's one-minute video you and your child will hear 5 rhymes that appeal to the senses. Feel free to tell your child to use his favorite one often. He could also use it as a springboard to creating his own one-line poem.

Want a copy of the 5 rhymes? Just Enter Code - SENSES at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com and it's yours to download.

Like this post? Please share it with your social media sites.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

DR. SEUSS MOTIVATED KIDS. Parents, by asking children the right questions, you can motivate them too. Knowing the best questions is the subject of this gift.

Imagine your child giving up. You've tried everything to encourage your child. You've even:

1. Bribed him with expensive rewards.
2. Lectured her about not getting into college.
3. Threatened him with punishment.
4. Ignored her discouragement.
5. Yelled at him.

• Bribing might work for a few weeks. But, if bringing their grades up takes a few months, many children will give up. Besides do you really want to be a briber?  If you do, you might have to bribe your kids for everything.  That means only big external rewards will get them to perform. The important internal rewards like satisfaction, curiosity, and excitement could be lost.
• Lecturing about college and getting a good job, like bribing, doesn't motivate because it's too far into the future.
• Punishment may make them rebel.
• Ignoring their discouragement may give them the idea, 'Mom doesn't care so it doesn't matter.'
• Yelling, like punishment, will probably backfire.

But there are better ways to motivate your child.

 

Ask Motivating Questions

Pick up today's handout with its 7 questions. Keep it handy. When your child needs encouragement, choose the best question for that moment.  Be an investigator, listen well, use empathy if appropriate, and be consistent.

To get your gift, go to www.KidsDiscuss.com and enter the word code:

ASK

and download your 7 motivating questions.

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

 Successful Kids Try

DOES YOUR CHILD COMPLAIN, “I can’t,” or “It’s too hard?” If you’d like to motivate him, check the strategies inside this parenting gift. Find the ones you can start using today.

If your daughter has a long habit of negative self-talk, you’ll need to repeat the methods often to remind her that she can succeed.

Should you be an optimistic parent, you may have an easier time helping your child become positive like yourself. Why? Positive people attract. They tend to be magnetic because they share a hopeful energy that others like to be near. That’s why they are successful. As long as you don't overdue it, your positive style will attract your child too.

Negative parents repel.

In today’s parenting gift, you'll find ideas for boosting your child’s:

1. Efforts
2. Imagination
3. Goals
4. Self-pride
5. Self-talk

Getting A’s must not be what success is about. Why? Because sooner or later even the very bright child will fail at something. The fear of failing could slow down his desire to try. The risk is just too great.

But risk is the key to succeeding. Risk is about effort, grit, and the willingness to stick one's neck out.

Please download this gift and, if you don’t need it immediately, add it to your 3-hole binder for future reference. You never know which idea you might need for raising your successful child.

Go to KidsDiscuss.com and Insert the code word for Subscriber Gifts: SUCCESS

Then download your subscriber gift.

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate