This Mom Can't Listen - 5 Harmful Mistakes, 5 Easy Solutions

1 mom and daughter
 
Why won't this daughter listen?

Parents, who cannot listen, are the worst communicators. They cannot teach effective communication because they don’t practice it. 

Hey there! Are you someone who argues instead of listening to your child? Many parents do. Yet, listening is your most important parenting tool. Don't worry, if you decide to, you can always improve it. There are some habits you might have to brush aside before becoming a good listener.

Today I will share:

5 listening mistakes to avoid

5 simple listening habits to increase

1 simple formula for being your child's best counselor

3 fun listening activities for your family. 

5 Harmful Listening Habits to Avoid as a Parent:

Mom asking us to be quiet

Do you ever:

  1. Interrupt your child?
  2. Discount your child's opinions?
  3. Dismiss your child's feelings?
  4. Criticize your child?
  5. Lecture your child?

Don't be overly concerned because here are 5 easy listening habits that you can use right now. They'll quickly improve your listening skills.

5 Listening Habits to Learn, Practice, and Model:

Black Dad Discussing
 
Father and Son Communicating

 

  1. Look your child in the eye.
  2. Focus on what they are saying.
  3. Remember the key points.
  4. Repeat those points in your words.
  5. Ask questions to better understand your child.

By practicing these skills, you'll become a better listener. You'll be teaching your child good communication skills too. 

Become Your Child's Best Counselor:

Do you know why counselors are loved by their clients? It's because they are good listeners. They practice the 5 good habits. They also include the 70% Law of Communication, meaning, they listen 70% and speak 30%. As a parent, strive to speak less, listen more, and appreciate your child's thoughts and feelings. As you progress, notice how your relationship with your child strengthens. You'll become your child's best counselor too.

Here are 3 activities to make 'listening' a priority in your family: 

3 Activities for Family Listening:

  1. Post a ‘Listening Habit of the Week’ on your refrigerator. Practice that habit in your home and outside your family. ‘Catch your children being good’ with a compliment when they listen well. 
  2. The Morning Forecast: Tell your child, “Name something you’re looking forward to today.” The Evening Review: Ask, "What are some things you are grateful about today?"
  3. Create free time each day and turn off technology. Use this time to discuss both your day and your child's day. Practice the 70% Law. 

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

 

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

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Jean Tracy

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Family Vacations - 15 Conversations for Carefree Travelers

 

Family

Conversation starters are perfect for vacations. Children get to speak, and you get to hear what they really think. Your kids get to hear what you think too.

Boy watch time
 
"One, Two, Three -GO!"

 

Time how long each person speaks. One minute is good for starters. 

Rule: No interrupting!

The first speaker picks his conversation from an envelope (see below). No peeking!

 

Boy 800
 
This child is thinking before he speaks.

 

                  
 

The timer starts only when the speaker starts. When the speaker is finished, the group may ask him questions or give their opinions.

He then chooses the next person to speak. (Make sure everyone has a turn.)

 

Girl

 
This girl is visualizing her answer first.

 

If a member wants their turn to be a previous person’s topic, time them for one minute. Then that person picks the next speaker.

 

Mom
 
Mom is thinking whether to answer this question or the
previous one.

 

Note. The group can use the same conversation opener for everyone. Otherwise, each member can pick their own conversation. .

 

Dad
 
Dad is smiling as he thinks.

Suggestion:

Put the Conversation Starters in an envelope, purse, or backpack. Make them easy to find.

Whether you're going on a trip, a car ride, or a fun night at home, use these conversation openers. They're a great way to feel warm and cozy as a family. Remember, if f your having fun, your doing it right.

Get all 15 conversations starters. Insert code: CAR and download at www.KidsDiscuss.com  - They're FREE!

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

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Parenting Gift: 10 Fun Conversation Starters with Kids

 

10 Conversations
 
Children Love to Give Their Opinions

 

MANY PARENTS ARE NOT BORN COMMUNICATORS. They love their children but don't know how to talk to their kids. Over-talking turns kids off. Interrupting, sarcasm, and being too busy create a distance between parents and children.

Simple meaty questions and listening well open the door to good conversations. You don't have to do much. If your kids sense you're truly interested in what they think, even if they know you disagree, they'll talk. This means arguing to get them to change their minds is out. But you can ask more questions to get them to think deeper about a subject. And when they're done, you can share some thoughts of your own.

Car Conversations

Today's parenting gift includes conversation starters for family dinners, car rides, and bedside chats. Some examples of starters could include:

  1. What makes a good person? Why?
  2. Would you like to be famous? Why?
  3. Should kids have chores? Why?

Listening well takes patience because you might not like what you hear. But if you cut in and correct, you risk not finding out how your child really thinks. Why? Because your child may shut down and not talk. Then how can you guide your child to better thoughts?

Feel free to cut today's parenting bonus into ten questions. Put them in an envelope and pull out when you'd like to have an interesting conversation with your child.

 

Click - 10 Conversation Starters for a Loving Family

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

 

Insert Code Word: Conversation  and download gift.

 

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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Parenting Gift: How to Teach Kids Gratefulness

 

 

Listen to Your Child
 
Teach The Gratitude Review to Your Child

 

The power of gratitude shapes positive thoughts. Upbeat thinking promotes a happier heart. If you’d like to raise an optimistic child, consider The Gratitude Review as a bedtime activity. It’s so easy.

The Simple Method for Increasing Gratitude:

At bedtime ask, “What happened today that you’re grateful for?”

Give your child time to think. Make sure it’s something that’s completely positive. If she says,

“I had fun playing soccer during recess but when it was over…”

The word ‘but’ tells you something unpleasant is about to follow. Help her practice finding pleasant events that started and ended with a satisfying experience.

This Bedtime Exchange Helps Parents and Children:

  1. Develop closeness.
  2. Discuss positive daily events.
  3. Share happy feelings.
  4. End the day on a joyful note.
  5. Sleep with happy memories.

5 more simple activities are my gift to you. Pick the ones that fit for your family at:  6 Parenting Activities    or

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp and insert the code word:

POSITIVE



Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
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10 Parenting Tips: Teaching Kids to Value Honesty

Hispanic Family SMALL
 
How Parents Help Children Evaluate Truth and Lies

 

CAN PARENTS TEACH KIDS TO BE HONEST? ABSOLUTELY! Is there an easy way to help your child choose honesty? Yes!

When parents ask fun questions to help kids develop their own reasoning skills, kids often share their real thoughts.

Respectful listening is the key. If you model respect, avoid put-downs, and listen well, you might be surprised. Why? Because your child may offer ideas like yours.

In today’s video, you’ll find thought-provoking questions for your child. You'll ask about the problems with lies, reputation, guilt, and the value of a clear conscience. Your ability to avoid telling them what to think and your power to listen well will greatly influence their characters. Why? Because they won't be fighting your ideas.

 

Family of 3 SMALL

 

The Honest Child and Conscience – 10 Parenting Discussions

 

View this YouTube Video. Copy the script below the video. Then ask your kids the 10 questions. Enjoy their answers.

If you like the video, please comment and subscribe to:

Jean Tracy's YouTube Channel


Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
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Parenting Tips - Caring Kids Learn Charismatic Skills

Sad and Lonely Boy SMALL
 
Parents Can Teach Kids Social Skills

CHILDREN  WITH SOCIAL SKILLS AND CHARISMA AREN'T BORN THAT WAY. To be charismatic takes charm and you can teach it.

We're not talking about popularity, manipulation, or vanity. We're talking about the true inner charm that cares about others. It will help them grow socially too.

If you model charm to your children, they can learn it from you. There are 3 things all people want that come under the Umbrella of Attention. Give those to others and you'll have charisma.

Use Sincere Eyes, Smiles, and Words with:

  1. Approval by looking for the good in your children and telling them what you see.
  2. Appreciation for the good things they do. "Thank you for..." or "I like the fact that you..."
  3. Affection using a touch, hug, pat on the back, kind word, kiss, or whatever is appropriate.

This is called the Triple A Formula. It is the best way to give what your child and others crave and that is, Attention.

Be a great listener. Hear what your children are saying. See how they're acting. Then try to understand how they're thinking and feeling.

Don't tell. Ask.

"How are you feeling?" Again be a great listener and repeat in your own words what they said. Here's why:

Charismatic listeners help others feel a real connection with them.

You want that with others and, especially, with your children.

Use these 3 tips, Approval, Appreciation, and Affection, as you ask your children the 6 parenting discussion topics in the following YouTube video. They will help your children develop the social skills they need to become the charismatic leaders of tomorrow.

Click on Socially Smart Kids - 6 Parenting Discussions with Children

 

Bossy to Girl Leader SMALL
 
Charismatic Children Lead with Caring

Feel free to copy the discussion topics from the transcript below the video. Please leave me a comment too. I would love to hear from you.

https://youtu.be/__h2YF9Vnzg

What do you think?


Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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How Parents Raise Loving Families - 7 Tips + Video

Asian Family SMALL


FIND OUT THE EASY WAY TO RAISE A CARING FAMILY!


Sincere words, a smiling voice, and eye contact are 3 ingredients you can easily use to create caring in your child.

Your words, whether harsh or loving, will be replayed over and over throughout his life. Your harsh words can become the critical judge he'll hear in his head when he does his homework, looks for a job, or raises kids of his own. 

If your words are kind and encouraging, they'll become his inner "Head Coach" and give him the confidence and courage to live a happier more productive and caring life.

But what if she's sassing, demanding, or lying? Clearly this is not the time for coddling and kind words. It could be the time to hold your tongue and not give in to the sass and demands. It's not easy.  IT CAN BE DONE!

How Changing Words Changes Family Life

Here’s a brief video with 7 family compliments that include honest words, a kind voice, and specific comments you can use. You’ll also find out how a tiny box, a family dinner, and noticing behaviors can help you raise a caring family.

Please Watch and Enjoy This Short YouTube Video Now.

Confident Kids! A Powerful Parenting Tool:

 

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Stubborn Child Activity: Character Building Poem with 7 Questions

  Pouting Girl

You Can Help Hardheaded Child to Cooperate!

Getting your strong-willed child to cooperate can be difficult. Often stubborn youngsters react without thinking. Parents feel frustrated, get mad, and both start arguing. Before you know it, the argument becomes nasty and nobody listens. Nobody wins.

Getting solutions to determined behavior is best when children are in a good mood. Today we have an activity that you can easily use. It's a unique children's poem about stubbornness with 7 questions. It will help you and your kids discuss the issue without pointing fingers.

Find out what your children think about Jake and Jill's (the kids in the poem) behavior. The questions will help them reflect about their own behavior. They'll begin to see that acting like a mule closes minds, loses positive power, and increases ugly moods. 

Cooperation is a better solution. It's more fun too.

Pick up this parent/child poetry gift at Subscriber Gifts  Or http://kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp then insert the code word: SIBS

Start having great discussions about stubborn behavior today! 

 

Subscribe to Jean Tracy's YouTube Channel to be the first to receive all my video parenting tips and tools

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below and sharing this blog on your social media sites.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
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How to Teach Your Bossy Child 7 Leadership Skills

Boy leader
Bossy Kids Can Become Leaders

IF YOUR CHILD IS TOO BOSSY AND KIDS ARE REJECTING HIM, it can be painful for him and for you. Most children don't have a clue about leadership skills. Yet, they want other kids to follow their lead.

Keep reading to find out the 7 bossy behaviors that turn kids off and the 7 leadership skills your child can learn.

You can teach these skills with helpful conversations, role-playing activities, and/or charting your child's new leadership abilities.

One leadership tip includes resolving conflicts. The key is negotiation. Here are 3 easy things your child can learn to do:

image from http://s3.amazonaws.com/hires.aviary.com/k/mr6i2hifk4wxt1dp/15101123/7182eee9-4c14-4d1f-aa3c-dc77fe8e0e3f.png
Leaders Can Resolve Conflicts

1. Ask questions about the conflict and listen to the other' answers.

2. Find out if there is something both sides share in common. This is called 'Common Ground.' Your child can help each side achieve the 'wants' they have wants in common.

3. Then have him ask the big question once tempers cool down and both sides feel listened to. "How can we both win?" or "How can you both win?"

This one skill can be practiced at home by you whenever conflicts arise. Because it's practiced at home, your child will know how use it with classmates and friends.

Can you see how this skill can help change your child from a bossy boy to a trusted leader?

Read more to find out the other 6 simple leadership skills you can teach your child:

7 Leadership Skills Your Bossy Child Must Learn 

http://kidsdiscuss.com/feature_article.asp?fa_id=182

As your child practices these skills, watch him smile as he becomes a likable leader.

Was this helpful?

Please let me know by commenting below.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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Parenting Video: How Bossy Kids Become Leaders

Boy angry SMALL
Teaching Your Bossy Child Leadership Skills

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS BOSSY, does he only care about getting his way? Perhaps he tells kids what to do or what to play. If so, he has the Bossy Kid Problem and you can help him change.

Bossy kids get rejected. It hurts your child and it probably hurts you too. Did you know you can turn your bossy child into a good leader?

Research tells us there are 7 leadership traits your child can learn. Imagine role-playing this one technique, active listening, with your youngster. Of course, you’d want to share these ideas first:

3 Facts Your Strong-Willed Child Needs to Know:

1. Kids care about themselves, their own ideas, and activities.

2. Children don’t want to hear you brag or tell them what to do.

3. When you ask questions and listen to them, it makes them feel good.

First Leadership Behavior - Listen Actively

Explain to your student, “After you ask another child about himself and he’s finished talking, prove you listened.” He may ask, “How?”

Tell him, “It’s easy. All you need to do is repeat the last part of the other child’s words. This helps the other kid remember where he left off and makes it easy for him to keep talking. He’ll love it.”

Role-Play Active Listening

Listen to your child. Repeat part of his last sentence. Listen some more. When he’s finished ask how he felt and then point out how you repeated some of his words and how he continued speaking. Next have him try it by listening to you.

Role-play until it becomes a habit in your home. It will help him practice this listening technique with others. Kids won’t call him, “Bossy.” He may even become a trusted leader because he cared about listening to them.

Watch this brief video, to get all 7 leadership tips for your child.

   

Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel to receive my parenting tips' videos as soon as they are posted. http://bit.ly/1oCOABv 

 

Was this helpful? Please let me know by commenting below.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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