Antibullying – Turning Cautious Kids into Courageous Helpers

10 Child Sayings
 
Self-Talk Influences Thoughts, Feelings,
and Behaviors

Bully prevention by playground kids takes bravery and positive thinking. This blog tells you how. You will find 3 discussion dilemmas and a gift of 10 positive slogans to help your child choose right over wrong. Your right-minded kid could become a playground hero.

Parents tell kids, “Don’t slump! Straighten up!” Sagging shoulders with head down look sad, weak and are targets for bullies.

 

Sad Boy (3) 600
 
Slumped Shoulders and
Head Down = Bully
Target

 Our body’s trunk, keeps our shoulders straight. A straight body with head up looks strong and confident. Practice standing with your child. Teach your youngster to keep trunk, head, and shoulders straight.

Your Child’s Mindset

You can teach your child to strengthen her mindset by teaching right from wrong. Mindsets include thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kids who know the difference between right and wrong and choose what’s right have strong characters. Help your child think ahead and prepare to act. Problem dilemmas like these 3 bullying situations can do just that.

The Playground Bully 

Boy Bully 745
 
Playground Bully

John is big and strong. He wants kids to know it. Joey is little. His posture looks wimpy.

  1. Is it OK for John to physically shove and punch Joey? Why?
  2. How would you feel if you were Joey?
  3. Should you and other kids stand by and let John bully Joey? Why?
  4. Would you do this or something else that helps the victim?                             
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How Would You Help a Victim?

Determine if your child’s mindset is strong. Does he choose right over wrong? Unassertive kids might say, “I don’t know” or shrug their shoulders. Their parents have work to do.

Sarcastic Bully

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Sarcastic Bully

 Gina has a big mouth. She’s funny and sarcastic. Tammy is shy and quiet. Her shoulders slump.

  1.  Is it OK for Gina to make fun of Tammy and put her down? Why?
  2. How would you feel if you were Tammy?
  3. Would you join the other kids and laugh at Tammy?
  4. What would you do?
  5. Is there a way to help Tammy? How?
    Asian tattling 450
     
    Would You Get Help from a Teacher?

If your child is clueless, you need to work on her mindset.

The Tormenting Bully

Bully Tormentor 450
 
Lucas Wants Gail's Attention

Lucas is your friend. Lucas pesters girls by teasing, pulling hair, and tripping.

Lucas has a crush on Gail and wants her attention. Gail has long braids. Lucas yanks them. Gail shouts, “Stop it!” At other times, Lucas says, “You’re so stuck up.” Gail walks away. When Lucas tripped Gail and she fell, he laughed.

  1. How would you feel if you were Gail?
  2. What would you like to tell Lucas?
  3. Would you keep him for a friend?
  4. Would you help Gail? How?
Black Boy Non-Bully SMALL
 
Would You Yell, "Lucas, Stop!"

 

Your child’s answers tell you a lot. Does he know the difference between right and wrong? Do you need to guide his mindset?

How to Teach Right and Wrong - 3 Keys

These three ways will help you coach your child:

  1. Ask him about his feelings regarding a troubling situation. Does he feel for the victim or the bully?
  2. Question his thinking about the bullying. 
  3. Probe about his behaviors. Would he help the bully or the victim?

Empathic kids with right-minded thoughts will rescue victims.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the three elements that create a weak or solid character. If your child chooses what is right, his/her mindset is solid.

If not, use friendly discussions by asking questions, listening well, and giving your opinion last. Don’t force your ideas, just express them. Otherwise, your child may rebel.

I invite you to use the above 3 discussion dilemmas.

Here are the 10 self-talk sayings to help your child deal with bully situations. You can also teach your child to make their own self-talk sayings.

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10 Free Slogans to Discuss with Your
Kids
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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

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Bullying Signs: How Parents Recognize Problems and Create Solutions

Child Comforting SMALL
 
"My Powerful Mind Is Thoughtful and
Kind."

 

WHY DO SOME KIDS BULLY OTHERS? Research says that bullying can give kids a sense of power and prestige. The bully wants to have others think he's important. When he hurts kids, he feels dominant and strong. It's hard for bullies to give up such feelings.

 

Some bullies come from abusive homes and treat others like they have been treated. 

 

Research also says that bullies pick on weak fearful kids. Children who are socially awkward, lack self-control, hyperactive, and don't fit in, become easy targets.

 

How Parents Can Help 

In today's article, How Parents Turn Bullies into Caring Kids, you can help both the bully and the bullied child. You will find:

 

  •  7 signs your child could be a bully-follower
  • 3 questions smart kids should ask about bullies
  • 10 parent and child discussions about bullying
  • 10 anti-bullying slogans for your child's self-talk 

  

Black Boy Non-Bully
 
When I See a Victim, I'll Go and
Assist Him.

 

Why not raise thoughtful children who help the kids who are picked on? Being proud of your children is such a great feeling. You'll be building character too.

 

Click on: How Parents Turn Bullies into Caring Kids 

 

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Bullying and Peer Pressure: Parenting Kids to Choose Empathy + Video

Peer Pressure
How Parents Help Kids Avoid Bullying

 

BULLIES BURN BRIDGES BY WHAT THEY SAY AND DO . They destroy connections like trust, friendship, and future relationships with their victims.

Bullying and Peer Pressure

By seeming powerful, bullies can influence other kids. Some children are afraid to say, “No” to the bully. Others follow because they want to "fit in."

Victims never forget how the bully made them feel nor do they forget who followed the bully’s pressure against them.  Being hurt physically, verbally, and/or emotionally, creates painful memories in the mind of the victim. They always remember. Some take revenge.

How Parents Can Help

Whether you suspect you are raising a bully or a bullied child, you CAN guide your child with good discussions.

Many children lack the experience to be wise about causing painful feelings and the importance of caring about others. You can raise their consciousness.

In today’s video, you will find 10 strategic questions to get your child to think more deeply about bullying, to consider the victim’s feelings, and to build the bridge of empathy.

As a bonus, you’ll also find 5 self-talk mottos to help your child choose caring and empathy over bullying.

Feel free to copy the transcript below the video with both the questions and mottos.

Family Discussions:

Use one question from the video per dinner discussion to find out what your child really thinks about bullying. Hold back from jumping in with your opinions. Listen well. Be sure you understand your child's thoughts before you speak.

Enjoy helping your children think wisely about the problems and pain that bullies cause because you CAN inspire them to choose caring instead.

Watch

 

Bullying – How Parents Help Kids Choose Kindness 

or

https://youtu.be/BnULkHcVE2M

 

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parenting Honest Kids: 7 Top Benefits for Truthful Children

Boy discussing honest with mom SMALL
 
Honest Discussions Help Kids Build
Character

 

WHEN PARENTS DISCUSS THE VALUE OF TRUTHFULNESS, youngsters understand why honesty is so important. Most children have told lies and already know that lying causes pain. As the parent, you can remind your child of 3 painful problems they may have experienced.

3 Dishonesty Problems:

  1. Being distrusted
  2. Feeling guilty
  3. Worrying about being caught

Ask your child, "Can you think of more problems that telling a lie can cause?"

Today’s gift shares 7 positive outcomes when children tell the truth. Use them for your parent/child discussions too.

Sample Questions to Ask Your Child:

  1. Can you remember a time when you told the truth and it felt good?
  2. Do friends trust you? Why?
  3. Why does a clean conscience help you sleep?
Boy Sleeping SMALL
 
Honest Kids Sleep Well

 

Your Parenting Gift:

 Why not add it to your 3-hole binder to pull out and use again whenever you need it?

To get more thoughtful discussions that promote truth telling: 

Click on:

Truthful Kids

and insert the code word: OUTCOMES

 

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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How Parents Raise Kids with a Healthy Conscience - 5 Discussions

 

Blaming Boy Shrugging
 
Help Your Kids Think about Honesty 
 

Discussing dilemmas is a powerful way to help kids to think about right and wrong. With dilemmas, your child has the chance to pretend someone else has the problem and come up with a solution.


In today's parenting gift, you'll find 5 child dilemmas to ask your child. 
His task is to think of answers that would help kids in the dilemma have a clean conscience. Listen well. Have fun with the problems by asking some questions of your own.

Here's an example:

Black Dad Discussing SMALLERJPG
 
Bonding with Parent and Child Discussions

 

Your best friend lied to your friends about his dad being a millionaire. Most of the kids knew it wasn't true and are calling him a liar. Now he's embarrassed and doesn't want to face them.

  1. Will you remain his friend? Why?
  2. What's the best way for him to correct his lie?
  3. Why is being truthful the best policy?

Of course, you can ask whatever questions are best for your child. Remember, your goal is to help him think clearly and choose honesty.

Download your gift and add it to a 3-hole binder to use whenever you need it.

Pick it up at: How Parents Promote a Healthy Conscience by inserting the word: DILEMMAS

 

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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10 Parent-Child Discussion Questions about Honesty - Your Parenting Gift

 

Honest Discussion SMALL
 
How a Parent's Good Listening Skills Promote Honesty

 

If you want to raise and honest child and you’re not sure how, don’t worry. Here are 10 questions you can use for a friendly discussion. Get her ideas before you share any of your own. We call this a baseline because you’ll know where to start if you feel she’s not quite on the right track. 

Be open, listen well, and avoid harshly criticizing her thoughts and answers. Criticism will shut her down.  Then your ability to influence her toward honesty will shrink drastically. Be kind in your approach.

I suggest you take one question a week to discuss at dinner, in the car, or at bedtime. You might think lecturing is faster but if your child clams up, how will you know she accepts your lecture. Many kids tune out or rebel when being told what to do or how to think.

You can open your child up when she knows you’re really listening. She’ll want to know you care about her ideas. These 10 discussion questions will help you and your child promote honesty.

Here are 2 sample questions:

  1. Why to children, who tell lies, lose friends?
  2. Why are children, with truthful reputations, liked and trusted.

Don’t forget to ask for examples from your child's own life.

Pick up:

10 Honest Discussion Questions to Help Your Child Choose the Truth

  by inserting the code word HONEST.

I suggest you copy it and add it to your 3-hole binder to use whenever you need it.

 

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parenting Tips - Help Kids Choose Honesty and Overcome Guilt

 

Family 4 talking SMALL
 
Kids Respect and Trust Truthful Parents
 

LYING HURTS YOUR CHILD'S REPUTATION AND BREEDS DISTRUST.  If you're the parent of an elementary-age student, who has trouble telling the truth, can you remember a time when you told a falsehood? If it had bad consequences, can you remember your feelings? Were you plagued with guilt? Were you afraid to confess for fear of punishment? 

Lies can cause your child mental pain too. Today's article shares 7 fearful consequences from lying, 7 positive effects for being truthful, 6 honest strategies, 5 moral dilemmas for your child to solve, and 10 self-talk statements from which to choose. 

 HONESTY BEGINS AT HOME!

Children look up to parents with eager eyes and ears. They see and hear everything.  When parent's aren't truthful, kids learn about lying. When parents are truthful, kids trust and respect them. Use the tips in this article to model truthfulness and help your child.

3 Suggestions to Tell Your Child When He Is Ready to Admit His Mistakes:

1. "Avoid over-thinking about the action you are about to take. It might stop you from telling the truth." 
2. "Take 5 deep breaths right before admitting your lie. It will help you relax."
3. "Repeat a simple slogan like, “My truth is like gold when my honesty's bold,” because it could give you the courage you need."

Guilty boy SMALL
 
You CAN Help Him Choose Honesty and
Overcome Guilt

Read more:

The Honest Child - 35 Parenting Tips Teach Truthfulness

 

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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Sassy Sarcastic Poem for Building Character in Your Child

Rejected Girl
Sassy Isn't Classy!

Our character building poem for kids includes rude behavior, the problems that mouthy behavior can cause, and how to solve them. Please share this parenting gift with your children.

The poem is about Tyler Tanners, a boy with sarcastic manners. When he put down his dad, there were consequences he didn't like.

Fortunately, a character comes to his rescue. Find out who he is and what he suggests in our poem, "Sassy Isn't Classy."

After you read it with your children, discuss these questions to find out their thoughts about sassy behavior:

  1. What's wrong with sarcastic behavior?
  2. How can being sassy hurt friendships?
  3. What do you think of sassy sarcastic kids?
  4. If you were the parent of a child who acted rudely toward you, what would you do?
  5. What advice would you give children who sass?

Using these discussion questions helps your children think more clearly and talk more deeply about the problem. When they respond with good solutions be sure to praise their answers. It is hoped they will follow them.

To pick up your gift, "Sassy Isn't Classy," insert the word, SASSY at:

http://kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

 

Was this helpful? Please let me know with a comment below.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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4 Ways to Discuss Bullying and Teach Empathy + Video

GETTING KIDS TO DISCUSS BULLYING helps parents teach empathy.  If you’re

Buster Bully +
Buster Billy Needs Your Child's Advice. Discuss the Video.


like most parents, you don't want your child to purposely hurt others. You don’t want your child labeled, ‘Bully.’

Today, I'll share:

  • 5 reasons it’s hard for bullies to stop
  • 4 ways to discuss bullying with your kids and
  • 6 questions to help your children think about empathy

You’ll find my short YouTube Video below to help with your discussions.

Bullying Is Hard to Stop When a Child Is ~

Click here for the full article on Bullying

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In listening to the video, I suggest you:

  • Stop it when a question is asked
  • Discuss it with your child
  • Listen more than talk

You'll find out if your children are taking on your positive values. If not, be creative. Ask more questions to help them think wisely. Try not to criticize.

When you hear good ideas, give them praise. They'll love your attention and approval. You, in turn, can take pleasure in listening to their developing minds tell you what they really think.

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Here's the video:

Character Building: Teaching Empathy - How Parents and Kids Discuss Bullying

 

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Pick up the Dilemma Discussion Kit

 

Family Conversations Dilemma Kit

Available at KidsDiscuss.com 

It's 51 Discussion Questions will help your family build character and bond together.

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Please click on the Comments link below. It will open up for you. We'd love to hear your thoughts.

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What Do You Think?

 
With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Please “Like" this blog article and click on the icons to share with your social media sites. Thank you so much.

 


Family Conversations~How Families Have Fun Together

Family Conversations can create family fun. Our guest blogger today is Chanie Monoker, founder of the DAS Center. He'll tell you what he does to create fun in his family.

Family Conversations Das Center

"There is a "game" called Family Talk (and Family Talk 2) which is a series of cards on a ring with each card containing questions. While no ages are given, different questions are more appropriate for different ages.

It's a great way to have a neutral conversation about things that are meaningful to each person. Things like:

1. What's your favorite... or

2. What's your worst... or

3. Do you remember your driver's test?

The latter might be more appropriate for teens, but even tweens will enjoy listening to others' experiences."

To learn more about Chanie Monoker, go to

http://www.linkedin.com/in/dascenter

Owner at Das Center: Developing Awareness a Student at a time 


Additional Help: 

The Family Discussion Kit

You'll find 51 Dilemmas for Your Family to Enjoy Discussing.


Jean's Response:

I appreciate Chanie's idea about having fun together. Games are a great way to feel closeness and enjoy each other. They promote family conversations too.

Another way to have fun is to work on jigsaw puzzles together. Our extended family uses the easier 300 large piece puzzles. We ask each other for the pieces we need and talk about the puzzle during snack breaks.

We all have different styles. I always look for the outline pieces. My daughter looks for special pictures pieces inside the puzzle. Even my 3-year-old granddaughter finds pieces to add. And my 12-year-old granddaughter hides the last piece so she can add it at the end.

What's really neat is we all work together. We enjoy admiring our completed puzzle together too.

Having ways to enjoy each other goes a long way toward becoming a close-knit loving family.


What Do You Do for Family Fun?

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 21 of the Best Parenting Tips Ever! from parents like yourself.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

One More Thing:

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Building Character ~ 3 Dilemmas to Discuss with Your Kids

Would you like to know your kids' attitudes about life? Would like to tips on how to ask them? If you'd like to hear their eager opinions, consider dilemma discussions.

3 Dilemmas to Discuss with Your Kids:

  1. Pretend no one wants to play with you because you cheat to win. What advice would you give yourself?

    Many kids cheat to win. (Some adults do too.) They think winning is more important than anything. Here is your chance to get your children to talk. They might tell you why they don't like playing with cheaters. Help them examine the problems with cheating. Listen to their advice. Congratulations! You've just helped them think about right and wrong.

     

  2. Imagine your brother just told his teacher your parents had a fight last night. Should you tell your parents what he said? Why or why not?

    Lots of kids have loose lips. Lots of kids tell secrets that belong at home. Many can't tell the difference between appropriate and inappropriate things to say. Here's another chance to help your children discuss the difference.

     

  3. Pretend your brother brags about everything. Nobody likes his bragging. Most of the kids won't play with him. How can you help him without getting him mad at you?

    So many children think kids will like them if they prove how important they are. Some of them lie to impress others. This is an amazing opportunity to discuss your kids' opinions. It's also a great time to talk about the problems with bragging.

When children are given the chance, they love to give their opinions. It helps them feel valued. Why not learn your kids' attitudes about life? Enjoy helping them think right about wrong. Feel good about the lively discussions too.

Become an exceptional parent. Subscribe to my Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids at:

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

If you liked the above tips, and want to raise your child with a positive character, discover my Dilemma Discussion Kit. It has 51 dilemmas to discuss with your kids. It helps parents worldwide teach family values. It can help you too. Pick it up at:

Dilemma Discussion Kit.

 Send me your parenting questions and I'll send you a parenting surprise. Just email your question to:

Jean Tracy's Email

 With warm wishes for your parenting success,

Jean

Jean Tracy, MSS