Narrow-minded kids might say, "It wasn't my fault."

Narrow-Minded Children Need Open-Minded Parents. Many kids naturally act to gain pleasure and avoid pain (punishment). Open-minded parents can model both calmness and reason. By doing so, they can help their children see both sides of a bigger picture.

In today’s post, we are sharing 3 dinner discussions. They don’t tell your children what to think. That’s not their purpose. The goal is to help your child slow down, think reasonably and see a side other than their own.

Use the dinner discussions to find out what your children really think. Don’t force your ideas. Listen well. Your mission is to open their minds by asking them to give advice to 3 narrow-minded kids.

1. “It Wasn’t My Fault”

12 year-old Josh had been told many times to pick up his things. Yesterday, his 5 year-old brother Tommy, while running down the hall to the bathroom, tripped on Josh’s bookbag. He sprained his wrist in the fall. Josh blurted out, “It wasn’t my fault.”

1. Did Josh have any responsibility for Tommy’s sprained wrist? Why?
2. How could Josh blame Tommy for spraining his own wrist?
3. By blaming Tommy, what could Josh avoid?
4. What advice would you give Josh?
5. If Josh followed your advice how might he have reacted differently?

 

Narrow-Minded Kids Might Say, "I Forgot."

2. “I Forgot”

Whenever 11 year-old Sheila’s mom asked her, “Do you need help with your math homework?” Sheila would answer, “No, it was easy. I did it in school.” Then she’d run out to play.

Sheila received a poor grade in math because she rarely handed-in her homework. When her mother saw the report, she said, “You’re supposed to ask for help when you need it. Why didn’t you?” Sheila said, “I forgot.”

1. Do you think Sheila was open to getting help? Why?
2. Did anything stop Sheila’s from doing her homework? If so, what?
3. If you were Sheila’s mom, would you accept, “I forgot,” for an answer? Why?
4. What advice would you give Sheila? Why?
5. If Sheila opened her mind and listened to you, what might she do? 

             

            Narrow-Minded Kids Might Tell a Parent,                   

"You're So Mean!"

3. “You’re So Mean.”

13 year-old Jerry begged his dad for an expensive new bike. His father asked, “Are you willing to work for it?”

“Do I have to?”, asked Jerry.

“If you really want a bike, you’ll need to keep your room clean, do your chores without complaining, and cut the grass every week this summer. Are you willing to do that?”

Jerry stared at his dad and yelled, “You’re so mean!”

1. Why did Jerry yell that his dad was mean?
2. What do you think stopped Jerry from working for a new bike?
3. If you were Jerry’s Dad, would you give him a bike without expecting anything in return? Why?
4. How open-minded do you think Jerry was about taking responsible?
5. Is manipulating others with insults a good strategy? Why? 
6. If you gave Jerry advice, what would you suggest?

Getting children to think reasonably helps them see the bigger picture. Open-minded thinking can slow down their pleasure seeking and speed up accepting responsibility. They might even think before they act.

Becoming reasonable and open-minded won’t happen overnight. Using dinner discussions can start the process.

Here are similar posts you might find helpful:

Character Tips for Parents of Kids Who Whine

Parenting Skills - Turning Your Kids Into Independent Thinkers

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Teaching Empathy Through Dilemmas

       Can Be Done

Childhood dilemmas help your kids think more deeply about choices.  They can teach empathy too. 

In this post, Carter is a math whiz. But he didn't study for his test and he couldn't remember how to solve some problems. He secretly pulled out his calculator and cheated. 

Ask your child questions like:

1. Can you understand Carter's feelings? Please explain.

2. What thoughts might have helped Carter to avoid cheating?

3. Can you explain Carter's dilemma?

4. What advice would you give Carter? Why?

5. Have you ever faced a difficult dilemma where you had to make a quick choice?

6. Would you like to discuss it?

Having empathy for someone doesn't mean you agree with their behavior. Empathy can soften harsh judgments and can help the person deal with what they've done.

 

Understanding Others Is a Form of Empathy.

 

Meredith wanted to see an R rated movie, but her mother disapproved. Meredith's friends were going. So Mededith decided to take her mom's money from the cookie jar and sneak off with her friends. Her mother nabbed her in the act.

Ask your child:

1. Can you understand Meredith's feelings about seeing the movie with her friends?

2. How many solutions can you think of to help Meredith avoid stealing?

3. If Meredith's mom hadn't caught her, how might she have felt about taking the money?

4. What advice would you give Meredith?

5. Have you ever felt a strong desire to do something, but your parents disapproved?

6. If yes, can you talk about it?

Understanding others' problems can help your child forgive others when they've been wronged, enjoy a kinder heart, and accept herself when she makes her own errors in judgment.

When you chat with your child about childhood dilemmas, you teach character, understanding, and empathy for others. 

 

Kids Love to Share Their Thoughts with Parents Who

Listen.

When kids think through specific dilemmas, it helps them with decisions and choices because a similar problem may occur in their near future. Since they've already considered it in detail, they'll know better which choice to make.

Articles with Similar Helpful Content

Social Conscience: How to Use Moral Dilemmas Effectively with Kids

How Parents Build Character with Fun Moral Dilemmas

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Empathy CAN Be Taught

PARENTS CAN TEACH CHILDREN EMPATHY WITH SIMPLE DISCUSSIONS. Today you and your child will find a childhood behavior to discuss, what mindsets to avoid, and 7 easy steps for teaching empathy.  Use it to help your child grow into a caring person who understands others.

Ask your youngster to analyze this situation by asking, “What don’t we know?”

Sarah gave her friend, Jane, a friendly punch. Jane yelled, “Stop it!” and hit Sarah hard.

Ask your child, "What don't we know?"

Hopefully, she answered, “We don’t know why Jane hit Sarah back so hard.”

Many kids might judge Jane and call her names. But that would put Jane on the defensive and make her mad because no one wants to be judged harshly.

Rather than being a critical judge, ask your child to think of some positive reasons why Jane may have hit Sarah. Why positive?

Usually, when someone does something, even if it’s negative,  it’s for a positive reason. We call it the ‘positive intent.’ This is because the doer, (Jane) is getting something positive out of her behavior.

 

What Positive Reasons Do Kids Have for Acting Badly?

Here are some sample reasons:

1. Maybe Sarah told her class a big secret about Jane's family and Jane found out. Now Jane’s breaking off the friendship.

2. Maybe Sarah has given Jane too many friendly punches that have bruised her in the past. Now Jane’s showing her what it feels like to stop Sarah from punching her again.

3. Maybe Jane was ridiculed by her class for a wrong answer and she thought Sarah’s friendly punch was intended to tease her for it. Jane’s hitting tells Sarah her teasing isn’t funny.

Who knows why Jane reacted the way she did? We’re not mind readers. Only Jane really knows. 

But stepping into Jane’s shoes and trying to see the situation from her point of view, your child is on the path to understanding and empathy.

Tell your child, “It’s hard to feel empathy for Jane or anyone else if you’re judging with a mean critical mind.”

 

Your Child CAN Switch Her Critical Judgments  to

Understanding Thoughts

Rather than judge, teach your child to:

1. Switch your critical thoughts to exploring positive reasons why she did what she did.
2. Avoid calling names or making accusations.
3. Ask don't tell. "Why did you...? rather than, "You did it because..."
4. Listen without judgment.
5. Try to see her point of view.
6. Show empathy with understanding comments like, "I can see why you felt that way."
7. Suggest she apologize, if appropriate.

If you do, she just might follow your suggestion. All because you asked, listened and cared.

Another important point, when someone acts poorly and you understand why they did it, doesn't mean you agree with their negative behavior. It does mean you chose to understand it.

Use these steps, whenever your child tells you about another child’s negative behaviors. Your discussions will be interesting, and you’ll be teaching her to be an empathic person with an understanding character.

Watch this 2 minute video with 5 questions to help your child turn from criticism to empathy.

How Parents Teach Empathy to Kids

The Transcript with the 5 Questions is beneath the video at YouTube when you click Show More. 

Bonus Articles with Videos:

7 Ways to Encourage Positive Brain Power in Your Child   

The Positive Child - 18 Top Parenting Tips and Tools 

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Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

• 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
• 1 practice example about a sleepover
• A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

 

Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

1. Both speak in a calm voice.
2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
4. Discuss each other's good points.
5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
8. Keep that date and stay calm.
9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

 

Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

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        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

         

OPEN-MINDED KIDS ARE SKILLED THINKERS. They learn to see more than one side of issues, problems, and discussions. They think bigger than one-sided kids.

How Sophie Opened Her Mind

I spoke with a 4^th grade girl, named Sophie, (Identity concealed) who told me how she changed her mind. Her teacher asked, “Should school be year-round?” Sophie said a loud, “No!”

But the teacher told the class to study both sides. Sophie did her research. This is what she found that could happen if school was year-round:

1. The school day would be shorter.
2. There would be more but shorter vacations.
3. There would be fun after-school programs.
4. Daycare wouldn’t cost parents so much because of the after-school programs. The 3-month summer vacation would be eliminated so no need for daycare then either.
5. Teachers wouldn’t need to waste time reviewing what the children forgot due to the summer vacations.

Sophie opened her mind to these new ideas. She decided “Yes,” school should be year-round.

Sophie had an open-minded teacher who asked open-minded questions. She taught kids to see issues from both sides. Each child was free to come up with their own conclusions.

The Difference between Open Minds and Closed Minds

 

Close-Minded Thinkers Won't Listen to New Ideas

Open-minded children don’t try to win arguments. They avoid stubbornly sticking to their own viewpoint. They are willing to change their opinions with new information.

Closed-minded kids won’t listen to others’ ideas. They believe they already know what’s best.

How Parents Raise Kids with Open-Minded Discussions

 

Sample Question: Should  Parents Make Kids Try

New Foods?

Be the parent who uses discussions to open your kids’ minds. Discuss topics that interest them. Get them to consider both the side they favor and the one they disagree with. When they have enough information, ask them what they favor  now and why. If you do, they'll become BIGGER thinkers.

For more parenting strategies and stories to raise your children's consciousness, read full article at: 

 9 Ways Parents Raise Open-Minded Kids

 

Be Sure to Praise Your Open-Minded Child

Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

Parenting: 2 Strategies for Raising Kids with Optimistic Characters

Parenting: Turning Fearful Kids into Confident Children

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Raising Broad-Minded Kids Is Fun

Closed-minded children, like adults, only want things their way. They won’t consider opposing evidence. They won’t admit when they're wrong. How do parents open kids' minds to other points of view?

 

Parents CAN Open Kids Minds

Today’s brand new video shows you how to raise open-minded thinkers. You’ll find out exactly what parents can do.

For example, discuss topics kids can relate to, like:

1. Homework
2. Bedtime
3. Lying
4. Bullying
5. Texting

Make questions out of the topics and ask children to give two sides. The side they agree with and the side they oppose. They must give good reasons for each side. Finally, they must decide which side is best. They are free to compromise by blending the best ideas from each side.

 

Open-Minded Kids Consider Different Viewpoints

One huge goal is to help children understand why people think differently. Could appreciating opposing views be one way to learn cooperation, collaboration, and preserve freedom of expression? You be the judge.

Watch here:

How Parents Raise Open-minded Kids

Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

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2 Conversations Can Help Your Kids

Develop Successful Attitudes.

ENVISION YOUR CHILD’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS HELPED BY 9 NEW MOTIVATING IDEAS.  You can plant those ideas with 2 conversations about positive attitudes.

First Conversation - Your Child's Inner Self-Talk

Just like you, children everywhere have conversations in their heads. Their inner conversations can sow seeds of discouragement, “I never do anything right,” or sprout growth, “I love learning new things.” Let's find out how to turn their internal chats into positive mottoes.

Second Conversation - Your Parent/Child Discussions

Talk with your child about the power of positive thinking and the importance about being curious. Let her know that her outlook will greatly determine whether she succeeds or fails. Why? Because the thoughts in her head influence her feelings and become self-fulfilling prophecies. Discuss how she can become a successful thinker  by sharing the 9 self-talk sayings in this parenting gift.

 

It's Never to Early to Talk about Attitudes

Ask your children which saying is best one for repeating often. Better yet see if they can create a self-fulfilling one-liner of their own. Rhymes are easier to remember. Post the one that fits best.

Great posting places include the fridge, a bulletin board, a bedroom door and a bathroom mirror.

 

Posting Positive Attitudes

Become Eye-Candy Reminders

Be sure to save these 9 curiosity mottoes in your 3-hole binder. Revisit them whenever you need to discuss motivation with your child.

Enter Code:  CURIOSITY at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Download Your Parenting Gift Now

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Helping Bored Kids Become Interested Children

BUILDING KIDS’ INTERESTS STARTS WITH ASKING THE QUESTIONS THEY LOVE TO ANSWER. Good questions create a bond between you and your child. With these questions you’ll find out:

• How they feel about boredom
• What blocks their curiosity
• What they’d really like to learn
• What fills them with wonder
• How you can help them satisfy their curiosity

 

Curious Kids Have More Fun

After you hear the answers to the 10 discussions, You’ll know what fascinates your children. This helps them overcome boredom. You can then support and nurture their quest for knowledge by:

• Suggesting they ‘Google’ the information they seek
• Taking them to the library
• Asking about and listening to their research
• Praising their efforts to learn more
• Suggesting they share their knowledge with grandparents and friends.

 

"I Love Discussing My Interests."

Pick up today’s gift with the 10 discussions that your children love exploring.

Add them to a 3-hole binder to ask whenever needed.

Enter code:

INTERESTS

At

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

and download now!

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Parents Can Raise Naturally Curious Children

Kids with curious mindsets are bound to enjoy interesting lives. As parents you can nurture wonder and a thirst for knowledge in your youngsters. In today's parenting gift you will receive a checklist of 10 ways to boost your child's intellectual curiosity.

You Will Find Out What To:

1. Say when your child asks about a topic.
2. Answer when you want to promote his questions.
3. Do to encourage his enthusiasm.

 

Curious Learners Search for Answers

Some parents do to much to help. Others show little or no interest. Being balanced in your words and actions is the key. It's fun too.

Pick up your parenting checklist by inserting the code word:

WONDER

at

www.KidsDiscuss.com

Add it to a binder to refresh your memory whenever you need to help your child's curiosity grow.

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Parents Can Promote Curiosity in Kids

How do we keep the wonderful curiosity that crawling babies possess alive?

They creep toward toys, put objects in their mouths, pull on mom’s earrings. Everything is interesting to them. But they can lose it.

 

Babies Explore with Delight

I remember a frustrated second grade teacher asking me to observe 3 of her students. None of them would try. "I don’t know," was their only answer to the easiest of questions. I knew something had happened between infancy and childhood because their curiosity spark had died. Parents, don’t let this happen to your children. There are solutions.

 

Find Out How to Get Kids Excited about Learning Again

In this article you’ll find how to keep your child’s enthusiasm alive with:

1. 10 questions that encourage a passion for seeking answers.
2. 10 ways to promote learning and 7 ways to block interest.
3. 9 self-talk mottoes to increase your child’s wonder.
4. 1 poem, ‘The Uncurious Kid’ who changed his life using Google

Read More at KidsDiscuss.com

1. 

    

   Curious Kids Want to Learn

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