Positive Parenting: 5 New Tips to Help Your Kids

 

Smart Boy 900
 
 
Kids Become the Way They Think 

 

As we enter the New Year, it's the perfect time to reflect on our parenting methods. Let's set positive intentions for our children's growth. One crucial aspect to consider is the development of thinking patterns. Just as a plant needs sunshine and water to survive, your child needs a positive mindset to bloom. Let's examine five toxic thinking habits and how we can help our children overcome them for a brighter future.

 

Red Haired Girl
 
Turn Her "I Can'ts" into "I-Cans."

 

1. The 'I Can't' Dilemma: Is your child trapped in the grip of "I can't" thoughts? This self-limiting belief can slow her progress. She may resort to the easy way out when faced with challenges, saying, "It's too hard." 

The antidote? Encourage her to take small steps and celebrate each achievement. By fostering an “I Can” mindset, she'll realize that every effort contributes to success, no matter how small.

 

Boy grabbing - Copy
 
Teach Him that Failure is a Steppingstone to
Success.

 

2. The Mistake Magnifier: Does your child magnify mistakes and stop trying?  Giving up could seem easier. Perhaps he fears failure. The fear of failure can shrink growth. It’s important to emphasize that mistakes are stepping stones to success.

Mistakes help us. Mistakes tell us what doesn't work. They say, "Stop repeating my errors. Try something else." Help your child view errors as ways to learn and grow. Show him how to break down problems into easy steps. You'll be helping him overcome his fear of failure. By accepting his mistakes, he can try new ways. He can start on a journey of continuous growth.

 

Girl Bigstock Homework.jpg 3046043 - Copy
 
Turn "I'll Never Understand This" into "I Am
Understanding This Page by Page."

 

3. The Generalizer: If your child uses sweeping words like "all," "every time," "always," and "never" in negative statements, she might be falling into the trap of generalization. Generalizations exaggerate and are rarely true. Challenge her exaggerated statements by asking her, "Is, 'I'll never understand this really true'?" or is it an exaggeration?" Help her recognize that using such words leads to discouragement.

Teach her to drop her sweeping statements. Then focus her attention on breaking problems into smaller bits. By encouraging clear language, you guide her toward a more positive and realistic view of herself, her problems, and the world.

 

Boy chores laundry - Copy
 
Teach Him to Recognize the Truth in Your Compliments.

 

4. The Compliment Problem: When your child rejects compliments and turns them into personal criticism, it could be a sign of fuzzy thinking. Perhaps he's convinced himself he's not good enough.

Make sure your praise is specific and something he cannot deny. "Doug, I like how you wash your sheets and make your bed each week." Then teach him to accept your approval with a smile. You'll be turning his negative thoughts into honest beliefs about himself. His self-esteem will grow. He'll start to become a clear thinker too. 

 

Crying girl
 
Avoid Promoting Helplessness by
Doing Her Work for Her.

 

5. Mountain or Molehill: Does your child turn everyday chores into mountains? She may even try to prove she is helpless. She needs to face her tasks.

Empower her with honest praise whenever she completes a small responsibility. Use specific words to help her realize she can do things for herself. "I like how carefully you dried and put the dishes away." She will want more of your approval and rely more on her abilities. Keep teaching her more age-appropriate tasks and compliment her with specifics when she achieves them. 

Boosting Positive Mindsets: You are invaluable in shaping your child's attitude. Changing negative thinking into positive mindsets isn't an overnight process but it is worth the effort.  Don't give up.

Here are three puzzles for your child  to unscramble and discuss in fostering positivity this New Year:

  1. Unscramble this word, KIMSATES, and discuss how it can help you grow.
  2. Unscramble this word, SMTEIDNS, and discuss why a positive one is important.
  3. Unscramble this word, LEBOPSRM, and discuss why these help you think.

 
New Year's Gift blog
Enter Code: POSITIVE at www.KidsDiscuss.com

Answers to the 3 Puzzles:

  1. Mistakes
  2. Mindsets
  3. Problems

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This Mom Can't Listen - 5 Harmful Mistakes, 5 Easy Solutions

1 mom and daughter
 
Why won't this daughter listen?

Parents, who cannot listen, are the worst communicators. They cannot teach effective communication because they don’t practice it. 

Hey there! Are you someone who argues instead of listening to your child? Many parents do. Yet, listening is your most important parenting tool. Don't worry, if you decide to, you can always improve it. There are some habits you might have to brush aside before becoming a good listener.

Today I will share:

5 listening mistakes to avoid

5 simple listening habits to increase

1 simple formula for being your child's best counselor

3 fun listening activities for your family. 

5 Harmful Listening Habits to Avoid as a Parent:

Mom asking us to be quiet

Do you ever:

  1. Interrupt your child?
  2. Discount your child's opinions?
  3. Dismiss your child's feelings?
  4. Criticize your child?
  5. Lecture your child?

Don't be overly concerned because here are 5 easy listening habits that you can use right now. They'll quickly improve your listening skills.

5 Listening Habits to Learn, Practice, and Model:

Black Dad Discussing
 
Father and Son Communicating

 

  1. Look your child in the eye.
  2. Focus on what they are saying.
  3. Remember the key points.
  4. Repeat those points in your words.
  5. Ask questions to better understand your child.

By practicing these skills, you'll become a better listener. You'll be teaching your child good communication skills too. 

Become Your Child's Best Counselor:

Do you know why counselors are loved by their clients? It's because they are good listeners. They practice the 5 good habits. They also include the 70% Law of Communication, meaning, they listen 70% and speak 30%. As a parent, strive to speak less, listen more, and appreciate your child's thoughts and feelings. As you progress, notice how your relationship with your child strengthens. You'll become your child's best counselor too.

Here are 3 activities to make 'listening' a priority in your family: 

3 Activities for Family Listening:

  1. Post a ‘Listening Habit of the Week’ on your refrigerator. Practice that habit in your home and outside your family. ‘Catch your children being good’ with a compliment when they listen well. 
  2. The Morning Forecast: Tell your child, “Name something you’re looking forward to today.” The Evening Review: Ask, "What are some things you are grateful about today?"
  3. Create free time each day and turn off technology. Use this time to discuss both your day and your child's day. Practice the 70% Law. 

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

 

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

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Stop the Tattling! 6 Positive Parenting Solutions - 7 Helpful Examples

Frustrated Mom 893
 
You Can't Plug Your Ears to Tattletales.

 

Frustrated parents dread tattling. The squeals from crying kids disturb peace, upset nerves, and demand attention.

You can’t plug your ears and hope it will go away. You must act. But how?

Today’s Slide Share Offers You:

  • The best question to ask tattlers
  • 6 tips parents can easily use
  • 7 examples that teach kids the difference between tattling and telling

What Tattletale Kids Need to Know:

  1. The purpose of tattling is to get someone in trouble.
  2. The purpose of telling is to help someone in trouble.
  3. Parents don't like tattling. They do like telling.
  4. Kids can solve problems with the right assertiveness tools from parents. See video below.

How Parents Teach Kids The Difference Between Tattling and Telling:

You can give them discussion dilemmas and ask, “Is this tattling or telling?” Here are a few you can use right now.

 

Boy Student
 
Is This Tattling or Telling?

 

  1. Logan’s not playing fair.
  2. Harper got stung by a bee.
  3. Mia’s making fun of me.
  4. Aiden tore up my homework.
  5. Sofia called me a name.
  6. Luke was hit by a rock.
  7. Zoey’s mocking me.
  8. Jack called me a liar.
  9. Sam stole money from grandma’s purse.

Discuss each situation. Find out how your child thinks. If he is wrong, tell him, “I need to know when someone is hurt, in danger, needs help, or did something serious like stealing.”

“But if it’s a squabble between you and the other person, do your best to solve it. Then come and tell me how you did it. I’d like to hear your solution."

You don’t have to plug your ears. You do need to act because your children need to learn the difference between tattling and telling. They need to learn how to solve their tattling problems too.

Your Tattling Slide Share Tips:

For the 6 parenting tips and 7 new examples of tattling or telling go to Stop The Tattling - 6 Positive Parenting Solutions The pictures will help your child decide. 

 

 

Frustrated Mom SlideShare
 
You CAN Stop the Tattling!

 

 

You might also like this video because it give kids tools for solving their squabbles:

How Parents Teach Assertiveness Skills to Kids

 

 

To refresh the 7 tips for listening to your child's solutions:

These 7 Tips Turn Tattletales into Problem-Solvers

 

Listening 800 H
 
Listen to Your Child's Solutions. It's Rewarding!

 

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How Smart Parents Teach Assertive Skills and Stop the Fights - Video

Sister and Brother Fighting 650
 
"Stop Blaming Me!" "Stop Taking My Stuff!"
             Sound Familiar?

 

Do your kids bicker? Is it grating on your nerves? Some quarreling is normal. But if your kids continually fight, it’s a telling sign to “Detour! Danger Ahead!”

My brother and I fought so much that years later my mother told me, “I thought you were going to kill each other.” A slight exaggeration but we did yell, wrestle, and throw some punches. Underneath it all, I really did love him and if anyone criticized him, I ached inside.

When we fought our mother would yell, “Stop!” She’d complain. She’d even lecture. But she had been an only child and never experienced sibling rivalry. She didn’t have a clue how to help us be civil and neither did we.

Assertive Role-Playing

Confused Mom 1000
 
How Do I Teach My Kids Assertive Skills?

 

Assertive role-playing can be taught using “Instant Replay.” This parenting technique is assertive because kids must come up with their own answers and then act them out. It uses Time Out.

I remember being sent to bed after many a fight. It often lasted the whole afternoon, but it didn’t work. I just took long naps.

With Instant Replay you separate your kids and send them to different boring places within your home. They come back to you after each child brainstorms 3 good ways they could have handled their disagreement without fighting. Then you tell them, “Act out the best one. When done, they shake hands and are free to go off to play.

I like this strategy because you’re no longer the judge and jury. You don’t choose who’s right and who’s wrong. You don’t even come up with solutions. Your children solve their own problems.

The Assertive Formula

Brother and Sister Assertive 1000
 
The Assertive Formula Works

 

This formula includes 5 parts:

  1. The Assertive Voice
  2. The Assertive Face
  3. The Assertive Posture
  4. The Assertive Words
  5. The Assertive Role-Play

The video below shows parents and children several simple suggestions to practice within each part.

Before teaching this formula, I suggest practicing it with your partner first. Why? Because your example is the most powerful way for kids to learn.

Watch Now: How Parents Teach Assertiveness Skills




 
Practice One Sibling Solution Per Dinner Discussion

 

 

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Respectful Arguments: How Parents Teach Children Open-Mindedness

Teaching Your Child 800
 
Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

 

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

  • 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
  • 1 practice example about a sleepover
  • A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

Moms - Divorce
 
Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

 

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

  1. Both speak in a calm voice.
  2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
  3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
  4. Discuss each other's good points.
  5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
  6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
  7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
  8. Keep that date and stay calm.
  9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

Black Dad Discussing with Boy SMALL
 
Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

 

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

 

 

 

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

 

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate


How Parent Turn Closed-Minded Kids into Open-Minded Children

 

Dad and Daughter Bigstock 900
 
Raising Broad-Minded Kids Is Fun

 

Closed-minded children, like adults, only want things their way. They won’t consider opposing evidence. They won’t admit when they're wrong. How do parents open kids' minds to other points of view?

Boy crossed arms (2) 715
 
Parents CAN Open Kids Minds

 

Today’s brand new video shows you how to raise open-minded thinkers. You’ll find out exactly what parents can do.

For example, discuss topics kids can relate to, like:

  1. Homework
  2. Bedtime
  3. Lying
  4. Bullying
  5. Texting

Make questions out of the topics and ask children to give two sides. The side they agree with and the side they oppose. They must give good reasons for each side. Finally, they must decide which side is best. They are free to compromise by blending the best ideas from each side.

Thinking Shrug Huge 900
 
Open-Minded Kids Consider Different Viewpoints

 

One huge goal is to help children understand why people think differently. Could appreciating opposing views be one way to learn cooperation, collaboration, and preserve freedom of expression? You be the judge.

Watch here:

How Parents Raise Open-minded Kids

 



Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

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3 Homework Problems between Parents and Kids + Video Solutions

  

Frustrated Dad 675x651

 
You Don't Have to Battle over Homework.
 
 

PARENTS CAN ADD FUEL TO HOMEWORK DIFFICULTIES. They don’t mean to. But they don’t know what else to do. Parents just want their child to succeed.

How parents might inflame homework battles?

In this one minute parenting video you find 3 ways parents promote schoolwork fights with kids by their:

  • Words
  • Facial expressions
  • Tone of voice

You won’t want these descriptions to describe you. You won’t want your child to be filled with shame, anger at you, or rebellion because of your frustration.

What can a parent do to motivate kids to try?

  1. For privacy use the bathroom mirror.
  2. Take several breaths to calm yourself down.
  3. Decide what you want to say, how you want to look, and your tone of voice.
  4. Rehearse how you will approach the homework problems with your child. 
  5. Consider using the 3 practical suggestions in the video to encourage your child to do his homework.

You CAN be a motivating parent.

Watch this YouTube video now. It only takes a minute.

 


Find Out How to Solve Homework Battles Now.

 

Homework Motivation - Parenting Problems and Solutions

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How Parents Turn Bullies into Respectful Children - 1 Minute Video

Girl Bullying Boy 900
 
Parents CAN Stop Bullying at Home.

 

PARENTING  A CHILD BULLY  IS FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If you find you're constantly stepping in the middle and it isn't working, keep reading. Today I'll share 3 tips you can easily use and a 1 minute video with 11 positive suggestions.

You'll know that bullying is occurring,  if one child wants power over the other and wants to hurt the other with hitting, or yelling, or put-downs.

Of course, don't let jealousy be a cause for one child bullying the other. Do your best to show love, attention, and approval equally. Also separate your kids when the fighting starts. Here are 2 ways you can do that:

1. First Tip: Send each child to their rooms to hit their pillows at least 10 times. The idea is to help them let off the steam of anger, anxiety, and revenge. When they are done, get them to talk about the fighting and how to solve it. Let the solutions come from them.

2. Second Tip: Tell them to go to separate boring places in your home where they can't be in contact with each other.

Avoid their bedrooms because they could end up playing with toys instead of thinking about solutions.

Put the timer on for 5 minutes for them to come up a better way to handle the conflict.

Don't let them come up with easy immediate answers just so they won't have to be by themselves and think.

When the 5 minutes is up, listen to both sides. No interrupting by you or them.

In the end, have them act out their solutions.

Third Tip: Use this suggestion when the kids are getting along. A family meeting is ideal.

Discuss the problem with fighting.

Make sure they share their ideas without anyone interrupting.

This is a good time to practice listening skills. They must look at each other and repeat the other's ideas correctly before they get their turn to speak. The goal is to make sure each child feels heard.

Now please watch the 1 minute YouTube video with 11 more suggestions:

Click on: Sibling Bullying - How Parents Can Stop It

 

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Parenting Headstrong Kids - 5 Solutions in 1 Minute Video

Boy crossed arms
 
Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child
Can Be Solved!


THINK OF HANDLING STUBBORN CHILDREN LIKE METAL BEADS AND A MAGNET. Your child's stubborn behaviors are the metal beads. Your reactions are the magnet. Each stubborn behavior can cause a swift and powerful clash if you let yourself explode with emotion. This doesn't have to happen.

Consider Using Logic by Asking Yourself 3 Questions:

1. What are the consequences to our relationship if I consistently blow-up?

       When I continually react with anger, his stubbornness hardens even more. Respect dies.

2. What are better ways of reacting to his stubbornness?

         I can use a kind, firm, and self-controlled voice.  With time and repetition, mutual respect could grow.

3. Are there specific ways to be the respectful parent and turn his headstrong behaviors into cooperative ones?

        If you draw a blank, watch our 1 minute video below. You'll find 5 solutions you can start using today.

Please remember, no parent is perfect. We all get over-stressed and lose our tempers. Don't get down on yourself if this happens to you. Just reconfirm your commitment to be a respectful parent.

One more thing, you CAN make the magnetic pull between you and your child into a pleasant and positive relationship.

Click on: Have a Headstrong Child? 5 Solutions

 

 To subscribe to my YouTube Videos, click on my face at the end of this video. To see my longer video on stubbornness click on the video in the upper left-hand corner.
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The Sarcastic Parent - How to Use Praise Instead - 1 Minute Video

Sarcastic Parent
 
Sarcasm Hurts Children

 

If you’re a parent who ridicules your child, and your sarcasm is backfiring, you must change. Why? Because getting your friends to laugh at your youngster causes her pain. Don’t be surprised when your parent and child relationship suffers and your friends gossip behind your back.

Today we’ll share a video with a 1 minute parenting tip that shares a specific suggestion on how to change. We’ll even include the script.

Sarcastic Parents - Don't Push Your Child Away 

 




Transcript:

Don’t Push Your Child Away

A 60 Second Parenting Tip

Avoid Sarcasm.

You may be witty, a jokester, or very funny.

But it can be hurtful if your child is the object of your jokes.

When others laugh at her she could feel ashamed or ridiculous and foolish.

Stop! Sarcasm can backfire on you.

Your kids could avoid you now and, in the future, too.

Catch your child being good instead.

Tell him specifically what you like.

Use positive words and a pat on the back.

Keep your child close with honest compliments.

 

Please subscribe to my YouTube video by clicking on my face at the end of the video. 

 

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