Why won't this daughter listen?

Parents, who cannot listen, are the worst communicators. They cannot teach effective communication because they don’t practice it. 

Hey there! Are you someone who argues instead of listening to your child? Many parents do. Yet, listening is your most important parenting tool. Don't worry, if you decide to, you can always improve it. There are some habits you might have to brush aside before becoming a good listener.

Today I will share:

5 listening mistakes to avoid

5 simple listening habits to increase

1 simple formula for being your child's best counselor

3 fun listening activities for your family. 

5 Harmful Listening Habits to Avoid as a Parent:

Do you ever:

1. Interrupt your child?
2. Discount your child's opinions?
3. Dismiss your child's feelings?
4. Criticize your child?
5. Lecture your child?

Don't be overly concerned because here are 5 easy listening habits that you can use right now. They'll quickly improve your listening skills.

5 Listening Habits to Learn, Practice, and Model:

 

Father and Son Communicating

1. Look your child in the eye.
2. Focus on what they are saying.
3. Remember the key points.
4. Repeat those points in your words.
5. Ask questions to better understand your child.

By practicing these skills, you'll become a better listener. You'll be teaching your child good communication skills too. 

Become Your Child's Best Counselor:

Do you know why counselors are loved by their clients? It's because they are good listeners. They practice the 5 good habits. They also include the 70% Law of Communication, meaning, they listen 70% and speak 30%. As a parent, strive to speak less, listen more, and appreciate your child's thoughts and feelings. As you progress, notice how your relationship with your child strengthens. You'll become your child's best counselor too.

Here are 3 activities to make 'listening' a priority in your family: 

3 Activities for Family Listening:

1. Post a ‘Listening Habit of the Week’ on your refrigerator. Practice that habit in your home and outside your family. ‘Catch your children being good’ with a compliment when they listen well. 
2. The Morning Forecast: Tell your child, “Name something you’re looking forward to today.” The Evening Review: Ask, "What are some things you are grateful about today?"
3. Create free time each day and turn off technology. Use this time to discuss both your day and your child's day. Practice the 70% Law. 

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

Like this post? Tell me what you think. Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

You Can't Plug Your Ears to Tattletales.

Frustrated parents dread tattling. The squeals from crying kids disturb peace, upset nerves, and demand attention.

You can’t plug your ears and hope it will go away. You must act. But how?

Today’s Slide Share Offers You:

• The best question to ask tattlers
• 6 tips parents can easily use
• 7 examples that teach kids the difference between tattling and telling

What Tattletale Kids Need to Know:

1. The purpose of tattling is to get someone in trouble.
2. The purpose of telling is to help someone in trouble.
3. Parents don't like tattling. They do like telling.
4. Kids can solve problems with the right assertiveness tools from parents. See video below.

How Parents Teach Kids The Difference Between Tattling and Telling:

You can give them discussion dilemmas and ask, “Is this tattling or telling?” Here are a few you can use right now.

 

Is This Tattling or Telling?

1. Logan’s not playing fair.
2. Harper got stung by a bee.
3. Mia’s making fun of me.
4. Aiden tore up my homework.
5. Sofia called me a name.
6. Luke was hit by a rock.
7. Zoey’s mocking me.
8. Jack called me a liar.
9. Sam stole money from grandma’s purse.

Discuss each situation. Find out how your child thinks. If he is wrong, tell him, “I need to know when someone is hurt, in danger, needs help, or did something serious like stealing.”

“But if it’s a squabble between you and the other person, do your best to solve it. Then come and tell me how you did it. I’d like to hear your solution."

You don’t have to plug your ears. You do need to act because your children need to learn the difference between tattling and telling. They need to learn how to solve their tattling problems too.

Your Tattling Slide Share Tips:

For the 6 parenting tips and 7 new examples of tattling or telling go to Stop The Tattling - 6 Positive Parenting Solutions The pictures will help your child decide. 

 

You CAN Stop the Tattling!

You might also like this video because it give kids tools for solving their squabbles:

How Parents Teach Assertiveness Skills to Kids

To refresh the 7 tips for listening to your child's solutions:

These 7 Tips Turn Tattletales into Problem-Solvers

 

Listen to Your Child's Solutions. It's Rewarding!

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

"Stop Blaming Me!" "Stop Taking My Stuff!"

             Sound Familiar?

Do your kids bicker? Is it grating on your nerves? Some quarreling is normal. But if your kids continually fight, it’s a telling sign to “Detour! Danger Ahead!”

My brother and I fought so much that years later my mother told me, “I thought you were going to kill each other.” A slight exaggeration but we did yell, wrestle, and throw some punches. Underneath it all, I really did love him and if anyone criticized him, I ached inside.

When we fought our mother would yell, “Stop!” She’d complain. She’d even lecture. But she had been an only child and never experienced sibling rivalry. She didn’t have a clue how to help us be civil and neither did we.

Assertive Role-Playing

 

How Do I Teach My Kids Assertive Skills?

Assertive role-playing can be taught using “Instant Replay.” This parenting technique is assertive because kids must come up with their own answers and then act them out. It uses Time Out.

I remember being sent to bed after many a fight. It often lasted the whole afternoon, but it didn’t work. I just took long naps.

With Instant Replay you separate your kids and send them to different boring places within your home. They come back to you after each child brainstorms 3 good ways they could have handled their disagreement without fighting. Then you tell them, “Act out the best one. When done, they shake hands and are free to go off to play.

I like this strategy because you’re no longer the judge and jury. You don’t choose who’s right and who’s wrong. You don’t even come up with solutions. Your children solve their own problems.

The Assertive Formula

 

The Assertive Formula Works

This formula includes 5 parts:

1. The Assertive Voice
2. The Assertive Face
3. The Assertive Posture
4. The Assertive Words
5. The Assertive Role-Play

The video below shows parents and children several simple suggestions to practice within each part.

Before teaching this formula, I suggest practicing it with your partner first. Why? Because your example is the most powerful way for kids to learn.

Watch Now: How Parents Teach Assertiveness Skills

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

• 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
• 1 practice example about a sleepover
• A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

 

Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

1. Both speak in a calm voice.
2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
4. Discuss each other's good points.
5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
8. Keep that date and stay calm.
9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

 

Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes,  

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids

        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Raising Broad-Minded Kids Is Fun

Closed-minded children, like adults, only want things their way. They won’t consider opposing evidence. They won’t admit when they're wrong. How do parents open kids' minds to other points of view?

 

Parents CAN Open Kids Minds

Today’s brand new video shows you how to raise open-minded thinkers. You’ll find out exactly what parents can do.

For example, discuss topics kids can relate to, like:

1. Homework
2. Bedtime
3. Lying
4. Bullying
5. Texting

Make questions out of the topics and ask children to give two sides. The side they agree with and the side they oppose. They must give good reasons for each side. Finally, they must decide which side is best. They are free to compromise by blending the best ideas from each side.

 

Open-Minded Kids Consider Different Viewpoints

One huge goal is to help children understand why people think differently. Could appreciating opposing views be one way to learn cooperation, collaboration, and preserve freedom of expression? You be the judge.

Watch here:

How Parents Raise Open-minded Kids

Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

You Don't Have to Battle over Homework.

PARENTS CAN ADD FUEL TO HOMEWORK DIFFICULTIES. They don’t mean to. But they don’t know what else to do. Parents just want their child to succeed.

How parents might inflame homework battles?

In this one minute parenting video you find 3 ways parents promote schoolwork fights with kids by their:

• Words
• Facial expressions
• Tone of voice

You won’t want these descriptions to describe you. You won’t want your child to be filled with shame, anger at you, or rebellion because of your frustration.

What can a parent do to motivate kids to try?

1. For privacy use the bathroom mirror.
2. Take several breaths to calm yourself down.
3. Decide what you want to say, how you want to look, and your tone of voice.
4. Rehearse how you will approach the homework problems with your child. 
5. Consider using the 3 practical suggestions in the video to encourage your child to do his homework.

You CAN be a motivating parent.

Watch this YouTube video now. It only takes a minute.

Homework Motivation - Parenting Problems and Solutions

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Parents CAN Stop Bullying at Home.

PARENTING  A CHILD BULLY  IS FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If you find you're constantly stepping in the middle and it isn't working, keep reading. Today I'll share 3 tips you can easily use and a 1 minute video with 11 positive suggestions.

You'll know that bullying is occurring,  if one child wants power over the other and wants to hurt the other with hitting, or yelling, or put-downs.

Of course, don't let jealousy be a cause for one child bullying the other. Do your best to show love, attention, and approval equally. Also separate your kids when the fighting starts. Here are 2 ways you can do that:

1. First Tip: Send each child to their rooms to hit their pillows at least 10 times. The idea is to help them let off the steam of anger, anxiety, and revenge. When they are done, get them to talk about the fighting and how to solve it. Let the solutions come from them.

2. Second Tip: Tell them to go to separate boring places in your home where they can't be in contact with each other.

Avoid their bedrooms because they could end up playing with toys instead of thinking about solutions.

Put the timer on for 5 minutes for them to come up a better way to handle the conflict.

Don't let them come up with easy immediate answers just so they won't have to be by themselves and think.

When the 5 minutes is up, listen to both sides. No interrupting by you or them.

In the end, have them act out their solutions.

Third Tip: Use this suggestion when the kids are getting along. A family meeting is ideal.

Discuss the problem with fighting.

Make sure they share their ideas without anyone interrupting.

This is a good time to practice listening skills. They must look at each other and repeat the other's ideas correctly before they get their turn to speak. The goal is to make sure each child feels heard.

Now please watch the 1 minute YouTube video with 11 more suggestions:

Click on: Sibling Bullying - How Parents Can Stop It

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child

Can Be Solved!

THINK OF HANDLING STUBBORN CHILDREN LIKE METAL BEADS AND A MAGNET. Your child's stubborn behaviors are the metal beads. Your reactions are the magnet. Each stubborn behavior can cause a swift and powerful clash if you let yourself explode with emotion. This doesn't have to happen.

Consider Using Logic by Asking Yourself 3 Questions:

1. What are the consequences to our relationship if I consistently blow-up?

       When I continually react with anger, his stubbornness hardens even more. Respect dies.

2. What are better ways of reacting to his stubbornness?

         I can use a kind, firm, and self-controlled voice.  With time and repetition, mutual respect could grow.

3. Are there specific ways to be the respectful parent and turn his headstrong behaviors into cooperative ones?

        If you draw a blank, watch our 1 minute video below. You'll find 5 solutions you can start using today.

Please remember, no parent is perfect. We all get over-stressed and lose our tempers. Don't get down on yourself if this happens to you. Just reconfirm your commitment to be a respectful parent.

One more thing, you CAN make the magnetic pull between you and your child into a pleasant and positive relationship.

Click on: Have a Headstrong Child? 5 Solutions

 To subscribe to my YouTube Videos, click on my face at the end of this video. To see my longer video on stubbornness click on the video in the upper left-hand corner.
Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.With warm wishes,  

 Jean Tracy, MSS

******Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Sarcasm Hurts Children

If you’re a parent who ridicules your child, and your sarcasm is backfiring, you must change. Why? Because getting your friends to laugh at your youngster causes her pain. Don’t be surprised when your parent and child relationship suffers and your friends gossip behind your back.

Today we’ll share a video with a 1 minute parenting tip that shares a specific suggestion on how to change. We’ll even include the script.

Sarcastic Parents - Don't Push Your Child Away 

Transcript:

Don’t Push Your Child Away

A 60 Second Parenting Tip

Avoid Sarcasm.

You may be witty, a jokester, or very funny.

But it can be hurtful if your child is the object of your jokes.

When others laugh at her she could feel ashamed or ridiculous and foolish.

Stop! Sarcasm can backfire on you.

Your kids could avoid you now and, in the future, too.

Catch your child being good instead.

Tell him specifically what you like.

Use positive words and a pat on the back.

Keep your child close with honest compliments.

Please subscribe to my YouTube video by clicking on my face at the end of the video. 

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes,  

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

.Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Parenting Errors That Must Be Changed

Every parent makes mistakes. Some apologize. Others don't understand what they're doing wrong. But they sense they're making blunders because their children are shutting down.

Today's parenting gift helps those parents. We'll look through the "eyes of youngsters" and see what messages  children could be receiving when parents are too busy for them.

Imagine what children think when parents:

• Fail to make time for kids
• Rush from one thing to another
• Seem distracted too often

This parenting gift helps alert parents to the pain kids feel and the changes than need to be made. Download the list. See if there's some behavior you'd like to change. It can be easy to fix when you understand the problem.

Insert the code word:

MISTAKES

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp 

Save it to a 3-hole binder and check it when your parent/child relationship isn't quite right. It could be one of them is the cause.

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate