Antibullying – Turning Cautious Kids into Courageous Helpers

10 Child Sayings
 
Self-Talk Influences Thoughts, Feelings,
and Behaviors

Bully prevention by playground kids takes bravery and positive thinking. This blog tells you how. You will find 3 discussion dilemmas and a gift of 10 positive slogans to help your child choose right over wrong. Your right-minded kid could become a playground hero.

Parents tell kids, “Don’t slump! Straighten up!” Sagging shoulders with head down look sad, weak and are targets for bullies.

 

Sad Boy (3) 600
 
Slumped Shoulders and
Head Down = Bully
Target

 Our body’s trunk, keeps our shoulders straight. A straight body with head up looks strong and confident. Practice standing with your child. Teach your youngster to keep trunk, head, and shoulders straight.

Your Child’s Mindset

You can teach your child to strengthen her mindset by teaching right from wrong. Mindsets include thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kids who know the difference between right and wrong and choose what’s right have strong characters. Help your child think ahead and prepare to act. Problem dilemmas like these 3 bullying situations can do just that.

The Playground Bully 

Boy Bully 745
 
Playground Bully

John is big and strong. He wants kids to know it. Joey is little. His posture looks wimpy.

  1. Is it OK for John to physically shove and punch Joey? Why?
  2. How would you feel if you were Joey?
  3. Should you and other kids stand by and let John bully Joey? Why?
  4. Would you do this or something else that helps the victim?                             
Boy Pfotecting Girl 757
 
How Would You Help a Victim?

Determine if your child’s mindset is strong. Does he choose right over wrong? Unassertive kids might say, “I don’t know” or shrug their shoulders. Their parents have work to do.

Sarcastic Bully

Sarcastic Bully 513
 
Sarcastic Bully

 Gina has a big mouth. She’s funny and sarcastic. Tammy is shy and quiet. Her shoulders slump.

  1.  Is it OK for Gina to make fun of Tammy and put her down? Why?
  2. How would you feel if you were Tammy?
  3. Would you join the other kids and laugh at Tammy?
  4. What would you do?
  5. Is there a way to help Tammy? How?
    Asian tattling 450
     
    Would You Get Help from a Teacher?

If your child is clueless, you need to work on her mindset.

The Tormenting Bully

Bully Tormentor 450
 
Lucas Wants Gail's Attention

Lucas is your friend. Lucas pesters girls by teasing, pulling hair, and tripping.

Lucas has a crush on Gail and wants her attention. Gail has long braids. Lucas yanks them. Gail shouts, “Stop it!” At other times, Lucas says, “You’re so stuck up.” Gail walks away. When Lucas tripped Gail and she fell, he laughed.

  1. How would you feel if you were Gail?
  2. What would you like to tell Lucas?
  3. Would you keep him for a friend?
  4. Would you help Gail? How?
Black Boy Non-Bully SMALL
 
Would You Yell, "Lucas, Stop!"

 

Your child’s answers tell you a lot. Does he know the difference between right and wrong? Do you need to guide his mindset?

How to Teach Right and Wrong - 3 Keys

These three ways will help you coach your child:

  1. Ask him about his feelings regarding a troubling situation. Does he feel for the victim or the bully?
  2. Question his thinking about the bullying. 
  3. Probe about his behaviors. Would he help the bully or the victim?

Empathic kids with right-minded thoughts will rescue victims.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the three elements that create a weak or solid character. If your child chooses what is right, his/her mindset is solid.

If not, use friendly discussions by asking questions, listening well, and giving your opinion last. Don’t force your ideas, just express them. Otherwise, your child may rebel.

I invite you to use the above 3 discussion dilemmas.

Here are the 10 self-talk sayings to help your child deal with bully situations. You can also teach your child to make their own self-talk sayings.

Indian Boy Powerpt.
 
10 Free Slogans to Discuss with Your
Kids
Insert gift code
 SLOGANS and download your gift.

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This Mom Can't Listen - 5 Harmful Mistakes, 5 Easy Solutions

1 mom and daughter
 
Why won't this daughter listen?

Parents, who cannot listen, are the worst communicators. They cannot teach effective communication because they don’t practice it. 

Hey there! Are you someone who argues instead of listening to your child? Many parents do. Yet, listening is your most important parenting tool. Don't worry, if you decide to, you can always improve it. There are some habits you might have to brush aside before becoming a good listener.

Today I will share:

5 listening mistakes to avoid

5 simple listening habits to increase

1 simple formula for being your child's best counselor

3 fun listening activities for your family. 

5 Harmful Listening Habits to Avoid as a Parent:

Mom asking us to be quiet

Do you ever:

  1. Interrupt your child?
  2. Discount your child's opinions?
  3. Dismiss your child's feelings?
  4. Criticize your child?
  5. Lecture your child?

Don't be overly concerned because here are 5 easy listening habits that you can use right now. They'll quickly improve your listening skills.

5 Listening Habits to Learn, Practice, and Model:

Black Dad Discussing
 
Father and Son Communicating

 

  1. Look your child in the eye.
  2. Focus on what they are saying.
  3. Remember the key points.
  4. Repeat those points in your words.
  5. Ask questions to better understand your child.

By practicing these skills, you'll become a better listener. You'll be teaching your child good communication skills too. 

Become Your Child's Best Counselor:

Do you know why counselors are loved by their clients? It's because they are good listeners. They practice the 5 good habits. They also include the 70% Law of Communication, meaning, they listen 70% and speak 30%. As a parent, strive to speak less, listen more, and appreciate your child's thoughts and feelings. As you progress, notice how your relationship with your child strengthens. You'll become your child's best counselor too.

Here are 3 activities to make 'listening' a priority in your family: 

3 Activities for Family Listening:

  1. Post a ‘Listening Habit of the Week’ on your refrigerator. Practice that habit in your home and outside your family. ‘Catch your children being good’ with a compliment when they listen well. 
  2. The Morning Forecast: Tell your child, “Name something you’re looking forward to today.” The Evening Review: Ask, "What are some things you are grateful about today?"
  3. Create free time each day and turn off technology. Use this time to discuss both your day and your child's day. Practice the 70% Law. 

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

 

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

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Parenting Tip List - Teaching Kids to Judge Character

Mother and Daughter Discussion 2

Mother and Daughter Discussing Character

Judging character is easy to teach. Coach your child to see how a person acts and hear what she says. Is the other kind, honest, and respectful? Or is she rude, unkind, and dishonest?

Training Your Child to Look for the Good 

Good Character is about being honest and having strong moral values. You can trust an honest person. But a dishonest person signals the red alert, "He lies. I can't trust him." The following questions open your child's eyes to finding good character in others.

Parenting Tip List - How to Ask about Character: 

Consider using these discussions around the kitchen table, in the car, or at bedtime.

1. Reject fault-finding in classmates.

  • How can the habit of finding fault in others hurt you?
  • How could fault-finding lead to gossip?
  • What do you think about gossiping?

 
How Could Gossip Hurt Him?
Indian Boy Sad 450

  1. Explore the Qualities of Character:
  • How would you describe someone with a weak character?
  • What are signs of a good character?
  • How would you recognize the good character in others?

   3. Help Your Child Make Friends with Kids of Good Character:

  • How can you be friendly?
  • How can you have fun?
  • How can you be appreciative?
  1. Practice Praising a Classmate's Good Character:

 

Boy and Girl Praising 450
 
Girl Enjoying a Compliment

 

  • Pick a classmate to praise.
  • What would you say? Let’s practice. 
  • Share it with your classmate and tell me what happened.
  • Who will you praise next?

Help your child listen to a classmate's words and see how she acts. He'll be assessing the 'content of her character.' It can influence him about who to avoid and who to choose as a friend. 

Guide your child to 'look for the good' in others. He will find it because you opened his eyes to see and his ears to hear.

 

 

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Content of Character - Teach Your Kids to Love Like This

Dr. MLK Love 800
 
"There's Something about Love that Builds Up and Is Creative."

Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted his four little children (and all people) judged by the "content of their character," not "the color of their skin." Dr. King believed in love not hate. Find out how character, judgment and love fit together in a way Dr. King might approve.

Effective parents teach children to judge. Not by skin color but by searching for the good.

Today, I’ll share how this love works through the story of Gabby, a family activity, and an activity that increases others’ self-esteem. It creates friendships too.

Practice it in your home. I guarantee it will boost your family’s love. Then watch it spread outward from your family to others.

Family Talk 1000
 
Dad, I like how you take the time to play UNO with me.

The Story of Gabby

(To protect privacy, all the names are changed because the people are real.)

Gabriella, 13 years-old, is taking a peer coaching class. She assists Mrs. Matlin, who teaches 10 special needs children, like:

  1. Daniel, who repeatedly runs around the room
  2. Lucas, who lets out blood curdling screams that make everyone jump.
  3. Olivia, who stutters and gets mad if asked questions she doesn’t want to answer.

 

  1. Bigstock-girl 25718705 500
     
    "I said, don't call on me.!"

 

Find out how Gabby's family activity influenced her with these special needs children. Then consider adopting their simple family ritual:

How Kids Judge Others by the "Content of Their Character"

Dr. King was right. "There is something about love that builds up and is creative." 

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Invitations - How Diverse Families Make Friends

 

 

Interracial Families 800
 
How Diverse Families Make Friends

 

Our Melting Pot Culture is filled with racial and ethnic treasures. When we extend a hand in friendship to one another, opportunities flow-in. But it can be scary.

Cross Cultural Invitations

A Handshake Woman 461
 
Extend a Hand with an Invite

 

Making friends can be risky.

Don’t be shy. Just be frisky,

Smile kindly big and bright.

Extend your hand with an invite,

That crosses cultures and you will see,

Your new friend is filled with glee.

Once that door is open, barriers can be overcome, friendships can begin, and appreciation for our sameness and differences can blossom.

Friendship Ice Breakers 

Girl Flowers
 
Invite Friendships with Flowers

Everyone is responsible to extend a hand in friendship. There are fun and easy ways to break the ice with invitations like:

  1. A neighborhood party
  2. A plate of cookies
  3. A bouquet of flowers
  4. More Invitations Ideas

Racially Diverse Friendships Enrich Us When We:

Hikers 450
 
Arrange Neighborhood Sports 

 

  1. Teach each other our languages
  2. Exchange specialty recipes
  3. Share family traditions
  4. Play board games
  5. Eat dinners at each other’s home
  6. Organize potluck dinner parties
  7. More Cultural Enrichment Ideas

All these ways and more help us love our neighbors as treasures. We grow and they grow.

For more ideas on how to connect with others go to:

Diverse Friendships - How Families Come Together

 
Diverse Heart 450
 
Loving Each Other As Treasures

 

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Worried Parents, Lonesome Children, The Virus and Hope

Worried Parents 780
 
How Families Conquer Loneliness and Create Hope

 

Like a ghost, the unseen virus threatens everyone. It isolates kids from their friends. Parents sense the deep loneliness invading their children. They feel it too.

The news exposes violence in the streets. Riots divide us. Can anything bring all peoples together when the pandemic is over?

Today’s post shouts, “Yes!”

Fingers 450
 
How Families Connect

 

In a simple video you will find a cure for loneliness, disconnectedness, and hatred. You’ll find how:

  1. Parents can influence children.
  2. Adults can expand their comfort zones.
  3. Individuals can overcome loneliness.
  4. People can learn to connect.
  5. Everyone can belong.

The solutions within this video are different. They are not one-sided. Everyone is responsible and it’s easy. It comes down to one word and it doesn’t start with “L.”

Hope: Families Brainstorm Specific Plans

We are about to conquer the virus. Vaccines are multiplying. Hope is in the air. It’s time to plan.

Let this 3 minute  video help you. Then brainstorm what you and your family can do. Start making specific plans and when the time comes, enjoy making friends.

Watch now:

 

 

Everyone Can Belong 

    

5 Ways Diverse Families Become Friends

https://youtu.be/jSwhNRbTRXQ

 

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How Parents Raise Honest Children

Guilt 780
 
The Truth Sets Kids Free

 

Who can you trust? Who's telling the truth? Today the truth is hard to know.

You want your child to be honest, but how? 

First, go back to your childhood. Remember a time when you told a lie and felt guilty. Were you plagued by regret and fear? Did you worry that you'd be found out and get punished?

Lies can torment your child too.

I remember those feelings. I didn't know how to face up to what I'd done. This article will help you teach your child how to tell the truth and avoid guilt.

You CAN Help Your Child Choose Truth Over Guilt.

Today's article shares:

  • 8 painful results from lying
  • 7 positive effects for being truthful
  • 6 honesty strategies
  • 5 moral dilemmas to discuss
  • 10 self-talk rhymes to repeat

Feel free to choose the ones that are most helpful.

 

 

Boy discussing honest with mom 700x467
 
You Can Help Your Child Choose Honesty.

 

Your Parenting Tips Are Here:

Arrow curved down

The Honest Child - 35 Parenting Tips Teach Truthfulness

 

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Printable Holiday Coupons Your Children Can Give as Gifts - A Freebie

Coupon Character Xmas 449

 

PARENTS, NOW YOUR CHILD CAN GIVE LOVING HOLIDAY GIFTS WITH NO-COST COUPONS.

Today’s parenting giveaway is a set of gift-giving coupons for kids. Your youngster can give them to whomever he or she wishes.

3 Rules for Caring Coupons - Your Child Must:

  1. Be able to do them.
  2. Promise to do them within a time limit.
  3. Give something the receiver would like.

Who Will Receive Your Child’s Gift Awards?

It’s up to your child and here are 5 possibilities:

  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Grandparents
  • Relatives
  • Friends

These Gift Certificates Can Include:

  1. Work coupons
  2. Fun activities
  3. Caring compliments etc.

Brainstorm with your child what kind of specific awards to give like helpful chores, games to play together, or a list of loving compliments.

Work Coupons Can Include:

  • Fold laundry
  • Fix a dinner salad
  • Weed a flower bed

Fun Activities Can Include:

  • Play a board game together
  • Create a treasure hunt
  • Bake cookies

Loving Words Can include:

  • Drawing a picture of the receiver. Then add loving words in the title. 
  • Writing out 5 loving compliments about the receiver.
  • Asking the receiver to tell her 3 stories about the recipient's childhood. This could include coupons for Mom, Dad, Grandma, or Grandpa.

 

Coupon Character Xmas Girl 450

 

To receive your coupons, go to www.KidsDiscuss.com and insert the code word: 

Presents

Then Download and Copy as Many Coupons as You Like.

 

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How Parents Teach Children Empathy - 7 Steps

Empathy Critical 900
 
Empathy CAN Be Taught

PARENTS CAN TEACH CHILDREN EMPATHY WITH SIMPLE DISCUSSIONS. Today you and your child will find a childhood behavior to discuss, what mindsets to avoid, and 7 easy steps for teaching empathy.  Use it to help your child grow into a caring person who understands others.

Ask your youngster to analyze this situation by asking, “What don’t we know?”

Sarah gave her friend, Jane, a friendly punch. Jane yelled, “Stop it!” and hit Sarah hard.

Ask your child, "What don't we know?"

Hopefully, she answered, “We don’t know why Jane hit Sarah back so hard.”

Many kids might judge Jane and call her names. But that would put Jane on the defensive and make her mad because no one wants to be judged harshly.

Rather than being a critical judge, ask your child to think of some positive reasons why Jane may have hit Sarah. Why positive?

Usually, when someone does something, even if it’s negative,  it’s for a positive reason. We call it the ‘positive intent.’ This is because the doer, (Jane) is getting something positive out of her behavior.

Yelling girls
 
What Positive Reasons Do Kids Have for Acting Badly?

 

Here are some sample reasons:

  1. Maybe Sarah told her class a big secret about Jane's family and Jane found out. Now Jane’s breaking off the friendship.

 

  1. Maybe Sarah has given Jane too many friendly punches that have bruised her in the past. Now Jane’s showing her what it feels like to stop Sarah from punching her again.

 

  1. Maybe Jane was ridiculed by her class for a wrong answer and she thought Sarah’s friendly punch was intended to tease her for it. Jane’s hitting tells Sarah her teasing isn’t funny.

 

Who knows why Jane reacted the way she did? We’re not mind readers. Only Jane really knows. 

But stepping into Jane’s shoes and trying to see the situation from her point of view, your child is on the path to understanding and empathy.

Tell your child, “It’s hard to feel empathy for Jane or anyone else if you’re judging with a mean critical mind.”

Bigstock_Family_Problems_183002
 
Your Child CAN Switch Her Critical Judgments  to
Understanding Thoughts

 

Rather than judge, teach your child to:

  1. Switch your critical thoughts to exploring positive reasons why she did what she did.
  2. Avoid calling names or making accusations.
  3. Ask don't tell. "Why did you...? rather than, "You did it because..."
  4. Listen without judgment.
  5. Try to see her point of view.
  6. Show empathy with understanding comments like, "I can see why you felt that way."
  7. Suggest she apologize, if appropriate.

If you do, she just might follow your suggestion. All because you asked, listened and cared.

Another important point, when someone acts poorly and you understand why they did it, doesn't mean you agree with their negative behavior. It does mean you chose to understand it.

Use these steps, whenever your child tells you about another child’s negative behaviors. Your discussions will be interesting, and you’ll be teaching her to be an empathic person with an understanding character.

Watch this 2 minute video with 5 questions to help your child turn from criticism to empathy.

How Parents Teach Empathy to Kids


 

The Transcript with the 5 Questions is beneath the video at YouTube when you click Show More. 

Bonus Articles with Videos:

7 Ways to Encourage Positive Brain Power in Your Child   

The Positive Child - 18 Top Parenting Tips and Tools 

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Respectful Arguments: How Parents Teach Children Open-Mindedness

Teaching Your Child 800
 
Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

 

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

  • 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
  • 1 practice example about a sleepover
  • A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

Moms - Divorce
 
Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

 

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

  1. Both speak in a calm voice.
  2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
  3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
  4. Discuss each other's good points.
  5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
  6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
  7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
  8. Keep that date and stay calm.
  9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

Black Dad Discussing with Boy SMALL
 
Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

 

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

 

 

 

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

 

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        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate


How Parent Turn Closed-Minded Kids into Open-Minded Children

 

Dad and Daughter Bigstock 900
 
Raising Broad-Minded Kids Is Fun

 

Closed-minded children, like adults, only want things their way. They won’t consider opposing evidence. They won’t admit when they're wrong. How do parents open kids' minds to other points of view?

Boy crossed arms (2) 715
 
Parents CAN Open Kids Minds

 

Today’s brand new video shows you how to raise open-minded thinkers. You’ll find out exactly what parents can do.

For example, discuss topics kids can relate to, like:

  1. Homework
  2. Bedtime
  3. Lying
  4. Bullying
  5. Texting

Make questions out of the topics and ask children to give two sides. The side they agree with and the side they oppose. They must give good reasons for each side. Finally, they must decide which side is best. They are free to compromise by blending the best ideas from each side.

Thinking Shrug Huge 900
 
Open-Minded Kids Consider Different Viewpoints

 

One huge goal is to help children understand why people think differently. Could appreciating opposing views be one way to learn cooperation, collaboration, and preserve freedom of expression? You be the judge.

Watch here:

How Parents Raise Open-minded Kids

 



Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

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