How to Raise a Spirited Child Who Keeps Trying

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Resilient Kids Are Irrepressible!

“Don’t give up!” parents encourage, “You can do it!” Believing in your child is just one of the ways to develop a strong-minded child. It’s a good way too. Especially if you tell why like, “I’ve seen how much effort you put into trying your best.” or “I know you like to overcome challenges.” Make sure what you say is true and give examples.

In the article, 5 Ways Parents Can Raise a Resilient Child, you’ll find:

  • 6 Goals for Developing Resiliency in Kids
  • 5 Parenting Behaviors for Nurturing Resilient Children
  • A Poem that Encourages Children to Slow Down and Think

Raising kids who bounce back from difficulties isn’t impossible. You can coach your child with these simple ideas. Then enjoy watching her become a persistent and enthusiastic person who is also a positive force in the world.

To find out more click on: 5 Ways Parents Can Raise a Resilient Child  Then start using these parenting tips today!

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parenting Gift - Self-Pity Poem to Improve Positivity in Kids

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 Poem for Kids - 'Self-Pity Isn't Pretty'

Do you have an over-sensitive child? Does she feel sorry for herself way too often? How can you help her get off the 'pity potty?'

Let her know when bad things happen some self-pity is okay. It's the habit of holding on to 'poor me' thinking and recycling the thoughts over and over that will weaken her spirit and bring her down.

Tell her "Being upset is normal. Try not to repeat the thoughts that hurt you." You might add,

"Miserable thoughts may soothe you at the time but will harm you when you make them a habit. They are like “10,000 nasty trolls.” They can follow you into adult life and make you a very unpleasant person on both the inside and outside.”

Our parenting present today is my poem, 'Self-Pity Isn't Pretty.' It includes the problem and solutions. Ask your child to draw, memorize, or clip out and post it in a place where it will remind her to:

“…Choose to rise above self-pity,

With a “CAN DO” mind that’s pretty.”

 

Get the whole poem by inserting code word,

POEM

at Subscriber Gifts or http://kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

Please subscribe to my parenting news for all my future gifts, videos, and our articles loaded with tips and tools.

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FREE Gift: Tells You How to Motivate Your Child to Keep Trying

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Gift for Motivating Kids with Confidence

If you'd like to motivate your child to avoid discouragement and keep trying, you'll like today's fun gift. It's a well-used parenting skill that really works.

The Failure

I recently spoke with a teenage girl and asked her, “How did you deal with your math grade?” Earlier she told me she had flunked it.

“I felt terrible,” she answered.

“Did you do anything about it?”

“I did.”

The 'Can-Do' Behavior

What she did and how she faced failure is the subject of today’s gift. It comes from something I do with my family and you can do it with yours. If you choose to use it, you’ll:

  1. Learn lots of wonderful information.
  2. Motivate your child to face failures.
  3. Encourage her to keep trying.
  4. Give her the right mindset for success and failure.
  5. Boost her self-confidence.

To pick up your gift go to:

Subscriber Gift

http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

Insert the Code Word:

Try

Then download your gift.

 

For more help with motivating your child, pick up Jean's Goal-Setting Kit

Goal Kit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Goal-Setting Kit

Now you can help your children achieve their goals when they use this simple 3-step method.

Available at KidsDiscuss.com

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One More Thing:

Did you notice this blog/newsletter looks a little different? I'm streamlining my new work in one easy place!  Now you'll receive all the parenting tips and tools from my book reveiws, my newsletters, gifts, and articles.

Today, I hope you'll pick up my parenting gift for being a loyal subscriber.

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What Do You Think?

 
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Motivation: Teaching Your Child How to Create Smart Goals

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Motivate Your Child with SMART Goals

Teaching your kids SMART goals will help you raise motivated children. Our parenting skills expert and author, Katherine Gordy Levine, is here to share her expertise. She'll discuss the acronym SMART from her kindle book, Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. I'll suggest how to use it with your children.

Katherine tells us the word SMART for goal-setting was coined by George T. Doran in the 1980's. Here's Katherine's short version:

S = Specific

The S stands for making your goal specific. It won't work if it's vague like, "I want to be happy." To make it specific, you could write down, "I will smile at least 5x a day." Why? Smiling is a good way to lift one's spirit and it is specific.

M = Measurable

The M stands for measuring your progress. Katherine says almost anything can be counted and she shows several different counting methods. For the goal, "I will smile at least 5 times a day," a small chart for the week with tally marks for each smile each day would be sufficient.

"It's good to start with a baseline," says Katherine. She shows how to establish baselines in her book. A baseline is what the specific behavior to achieve is right now. If you know that you'll be able to measure progress once you start your goal.

A = Action oriented and Agreed upon

To make goals that require action, Katherine advises breaking them down into action steps. She uses the goal of becoming a teacher and gives 4 specific action steps like looking into colleges and their fees.

If a goal includes other people, it's important that they agree to the goal. She offers ways to measure others' motivation for achieving the goal.

R = Realistic

To be realistic you'll need the necessary resources to make it happen, like talent, money, time, motivation, and support. Katherine even offers a 3 point scale for determining how realistic your goal is. You'll love her 'strengths checklist' too.

T = Timely

Timely means setting a timeframe for achieving your goals. It could be just a few weeks or years in the case of a career goal.

Motivating Your Child to Create Smart Goals

I suggest asking your child what goal she'd like to achieve and then show her how to make it a SMART goal.

Let's say your child says, "I want to make friends." It's too vague and is more like a dream than a goal. Using SMART let's chunk it down and make it a realistic goal. To do this, brainstorm with your child the goal, how to measure it, the action steps to make it happen, decide if it's realistic, and the timeframe for achieving it.

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A Sample Brainstorm for a SMART Goal

The Goal: I want to make 2 friends within 3 months.

The Action Steps: To achieve this I will take these action steps ~

1. Smile at the kids I'd like for friends and say, "Hi," whenever I see them.

2. Ask those kids if they'd like to play and have some fun games in mind.

3. Use their favorite word, their own names, whenever we talk.

4. Share toys with them.

5. Ask them questions about their favorite topic ~ themselves.

At the end of three months I will see if I have at least 2 friends. If I have 2 or more friends, I will keep doing my action steps because they worked. If not, I will think about what didn't work. I might change my behavior a little and add more action steps.

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Can you see how much fun it could be to teach your kids SMART goals? Just discuss what SMART means by using Katherine's suggestions. Then start brainstorming with this tool.

Once they've set a goal, check in with them from time to time to see how they're doing. You'll be teaching them how to motivate themselves. They'll feel great achieving the goals they chose.

Let's THANK Katherine for sharing such an important method for achieving SMART goals. You'll find load of SMART tips in her book too.

Katherine Gordy Levine
Katherine Gordy Levine, MSS

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Pick up your copy of   Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. It will help you and your child live lives full of meaning and feel happier too.

Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals_
 

Available on Amazon.com 

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Motivation: The 3 Best Ways to Inspire Your Child to Learn

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Inner Motivation Is the Key to Learning

If inner motivation is the key to education, can you inspire your child to treasure learning? Our parenting skills expert, Carol Josel, and author of 149 Parenting School-Wise Tips, is here to share 3 big ideas. I'll share 3 bullet points for each.

 

3 Unbeatable Ways to Encourage Inner Learning:

1. Applaud your child's time and effort on a task by saying:

  • "You took the time to do a good job."
  • "What did you tell yourself to keep on working?"
  • "What does it feel like to see the results of your work?

Can you guess why saying, "I'm proud of you," isn't the best thing to say?

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad thing to say but it doesn't promote inner motivation (well, maybe just a little).

If you guessed that it urges your child to do well because it pleases you and that's outer motivation, you're right. You want your child to learn because she's motivated from the inside.

2. Believe in your child by saying:

  • "I believe in you."
  • "You've got the 'can-do' spirit.
  • "You have an awesome brain."

3. Set high but realistic goals for your child.

If goals are too high, your child might feel discouraged and give up. If the goals are too low it diminishes the accomplishment. Here's what to do:

  • Help your child determine a realistic goal to accomplish.
  • Show your child how to break the goal into smaller steps.
  • Use a big calendar and set due dates for accomplishing each step and the final goal. (These 3 unbeatable ways for motivating your child's inner learning came from pages 3 and 4 of 149 Parenting School-Wise Tips.)

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Carol is not only a parenting skills expert but also an educator and learning specialist. Pick up her 149 Parenting School-Wise Tips: Intermediate Grades and Up. Choose the tips that fit your child and watch her inner motivation soar.

Cover 149 Parenting School-Wise Tips
Pick up your copy at School-Wise Books. The time to motivate your child is now.

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Let's THANK Carol for sharing her expertise with us. Her tireless efforts to promote well-educated children deserve our praise.

Author Carol Josel
   Carol Josel

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Parenting: 12 Best Compliments for Your Child's Self-Esteem

 

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The Best Way to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem

If you'd like to build your child's self-esteem, listen to our parenting skills expert and author, Carole Disseldorp. Her book, Easier Parenting, is full of practical parenting tips and good advice. Today Carole will share the 4 most important behaviors to encourage and the best remarks to inspire them. I will offer extra examples when commenting on the qualities to promote and suggest a special activity.

 Building Self-Esteem on the Inside:

Many parents motivate their kids with stars, charts, and external rewards. That's good for outside motivation. But how do you get your child motivated to behave well, try, and become a team member on the inside?

Carole tells us to focus on 4 behaviors when making our positive remarks for motivating kids on the inside:

1. Effort

2. Cooperation

3. Progress

4. Strengths

She will offer a statement in quotes for each and I will add 2 more for each trait.

Comments that Encourage Effort:

1. "Joe, I can see that you are trying really hard, to find the right piece to fit the puzzle. Good for you."

2. Ethan you never gave up learning how to do cart wheels and now you do them skillfully.

3. Allyssa you put a lot of meaning and detail into your picture. You know how to give your best.

Remarks that Promote Cooperation

1. "Thanks for setting the table so nicely, Michelle."

2. George, when you played checkers with your little brother, you encouraged him.

3. You're ready for school each morning because you pack your school backpack  and set it by the front door each night.

Statements that Boost Progress:

1. "Greg, you've come a long way with your model car. You've glued 3 pieces together."

2. Mary, you've already put most of your outside toys away before it starts to rain.

3. Most of your science project is done, Joe. It's looking good.

Comments that Boost Strengths:

1. "Julie, your scrapbooking layout is beautiful. It's balanced and the colors go really well together."

2. You've made your body flexible while practicing your gymnastics, Jason.

3. By keeping your eye on the ball, Sarah, you're becoming a fine batter.

The behaviors to note and the quotes of Carole's are from Chapter 2, Promoting and Practicing Positivity.

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I especially appreciate Carole's 4 behaviors to focus on when we congratulate our children. When we catch them expanding their effort, cooperating, progressing, or developing their strengths, we need to compliment them. Our praise will increase their inner motivation and build their self-esteem.

Suggested Activity

I suggest posting Carole's 4 behaviors on a bathroom mirror or on the fridge to remind us what to commend when our children are exhibiting these behaviors. It's easy to post and fun for us when we share our admiration. One more thing, our kids will love what we say.

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Let's applaud Carole for writing, Easier Parenting. She has taken 8 parenting
principles and made them practical for us.

 

Carole Disseldorp

 

 

 

 

 

Carole Disseldorp

Pick up your copy of Easier Parenting: 8 Vital Principles to Guide Your Children's Behavior Successfully.


Cover Easier Parenting
 

Available on Amazon.com 

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Motivation: How to Promote a Winning Attitude in Your Child

 

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Motivation Helps Your Kids!

To motivate a winning attitude in your child, Carol Josel, parenting expert and author of the book, Other-Wise and School-Wise, is here to share some great advice. First, she'll tell us the signs of a winning attitude. Next she'll offer 6 motivation strategies for  kids and, finally, 5 tips for setting goals.

 

The Signs of Successful Attitudes in Children

How would you answer, "Who cares about your child's success more, you or your child?" If you didn't answer, "your child," you've got work to do. So many of us parents worry. We want our kids to succeed. We push them even when their feet stubbornly hold tight because they're not motivated.

The signs that your child is inspired depend on his view of himself. If you'd like to know, ask him these 3 questions:

1. Do you think you can succeed?

2. Do you want to succeed?

3. Why do you want to succeed?

If your child is focused on his own progress and is willing to take on challenges, don't worry. He is motivated. But if he isn't, let's listen to 6 of Carol's  20 suggestions for helping him move in the right direction.

1. Help your child get started on an assignment or project, if necessary, but then stand back.

2. Build on your child's strengths.

3. Believe in your child-and let him/her know it.

4. Acknowledge your youngster's hard work.

5. Encourage new experiences (sports, drama, painting, music).

6. Help your child set goals and find ways to achieve them. (From page 65.)

Advice for Setting Fun Goals:

Your child will feel motivated if she picks out a goal, works hard, and achieves that goal. Start with a goal your child wants to achieve. Hold a brainstorming session. Ask your child to set a fun goal for himself. Ask, "What is something you want?" "How will you help yourself achieve it?"

 Brainstorming Sample Goals:

!. Read a book on her favorite topic.

2. Play a sport she might like.

3. Learn to play a musical instrument.

Carol advises parents to encourage kids to break down big goals into small short-term goals with a due date.

Brainstorming Short-Term Goals:

Let's say your daughter loves books. You might help her by brainstorming this plan:

1. I will go to library

2. I will spend time finding a fun book.

3. I will check it out and bring it home.

4. I will pick a time to read it each day.

5. I will finish it in 2 weeks.

When she's completed her goal. Let her know you're impressed with her effort. Ask her, "How do you feel about accomplishing your goal?" Get her to talk about how she motivated herself. She'll love to share her thoughts with you. This could motivate her achieve even more goals. (From pages 64-69).

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Let's PRAISE Carol Josel, a true educator and learning specialist. Her Guide is filled with activities that you can use like a fun workbook. Or better yet, use it for family dinner discussions to keep your kids mentally alert and happily motivated.

Author Carol Josel

   Carol Josel

Pick up a copy of Other-Wise and School-Wise: A Parent Guidebook    You'll have fun reinforcing your kids' thought processes even when they're not in school.

Cover Other-Wise

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9 Ways to Boost Your Child's Inner Motivation

 

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Parents Can Inspire Their
Children's Inner Motivations!

Want to boost your child's own motivation instead of relying exclusively on rewards like candy, money, and toys? Perhaps you're tired of giving her material rewards for doing the smallest things. Today our parenting expert and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, Dr. Michele Borba, will share how to wean her off receiving material rewards. Dr. Borba's 9 ways will show you how to motivate her inner joy for a job well done. 

Dr. Michele states there are 4 types of rewards:

1. Material rewards can be candy, toys, and money.

2. Tokens are stars, stickers, certificates.

3. Praise is your encouraging words.

4. Internal praise is doing something because it feels good.

Many parents start out with stickers. As kids grow older money may motivate them. But what happens when they'll only do things if they're paid?  This is not what most parents want for their kids. What can they do to encourage their child's inner motivation? Let's find out solutions from Dr. Borba.

9 Parenting Tips for Moving from External to Internal Motivation

1. Involve your child in her solutions and insight by asking questions like, "What can you do to help you remember your homework?" or "What did you do to improve your Math grade?"

2. Be a cheerleader. Give smiles, hugs, high fives, clapping, and cheers.

3. Use a pebble jar. When your child completes a task add a marble to a small jar. When it's full go on an outing together like the park, a bike ride, or museum.

4. Give one-on-one time like going on errands, the library, or just snuggle on the couch together.

5. Stress internal praise by describing her success like, "You put a lot of work into that report."

6. Boost inside pride by finding out what pleased her and ask questions like, "How did you learn to balance yourself without the training wheels?"

7. Emphasize self-acknowledgment like, "You were a good sport today. Did you remember to tell yourself you did a great job?"

8. Switch from "I" to "You." Instead of saying, "I'm really proud of you," say, "You must be really proud of how hard you worked today."

9. Use accomplishment journals. Ask your child to write or draw her successes in a journal to remind herself she's her own best motivator. (From pages 89-91).

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I like Dr. Michele's methods for moving children from stickers to internal pride and satisfaction. It's so simple. Perhaps you'd like to copy the nine ideas for increasing your child's inner motivation. Use them often and material rewards less. Then watch your child grow.

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Pick up The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and feel confident in your parenting skills.

Cover The Big Book of Parenting Solutions

Available at Amazon.com

Let's THANK Dr. Michele Borba for her research and work in helping parents do their very best in raising their children.

Dr. Michele Borba

Dr. Michele Borba

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Parenting Your Child's Genius: 3 Top Ways to Promote Success

 Image005

How Parents Promote Their Child's Talent

If you're a parent, please recognize there's a genius in your child. Our parenting expert and author of the book, The Genius in Every Child, Rick Ackerly, will share how self-esteem is a function of enthusiastic struggle. In this struggle you'll find the 3 top ways to promote your child's success. I'll share my ideas too.

Our expert, Rick, tell us there is a part of the self that says, "Go for it!"

Kids like adults get engaged only to find life is like a bumper car. Some of our efforts succeed easily, some fail, and others are trials and errors we move past.

"Genius is still understood to be "an unusual gift or talent."

Many times our interests points to our talent. Find out what interests your child and you might discover his special talent. So what are the 3 ways to promote success and self-esteem?

1. Motivation that Encourages Self-Esteem

Rick Ackerly says motivation comes first. Our inner interest helps us to "Give it a try."

As the parent, you can encourage your child to try new activities. This exposure might lead to his talents because you provided the opportunities. When he tries, struggles, and senses the good feeling of motivation, his self-esteem gets a boost too.

2. Get Down to Work

Any genius can be naturally good at something but without the struggle of applying himself he won't go far. Discuss with your child the fact that to become good at anything takes practice.

Even if your child has a gift for music he must practice to be good at it. He might not like practicing. But his self-esteem may rise after he completes the practice, especially if he knows he improved.

3. Keep Focusing on the Strength

If you give positive, specific, and true (PST) praise when focusing on your child's strength, you will help your child unfold his inner genius.

For example, you might say to your child, "You practiced well and I followed the tune perfectly." Was this praise positive, specific, and (hopefully) true?

Parents who criticize, lecture, or yell may dampen the very genius they wish to promote.

To bring out the genius in your child remember these 3 keys: motivate, work, focus on strengths.

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These ideas flowed from reading pages 111- 112 in Rick Ackerly's book. I like Rick's definition of genius and how it relates to self-esteem. Do you agree that motivation, getting down to work, and focusing on your child's strengths can help bring out his genius?

Pick up Rick Ackerly's book, The Genius in Every Child: Encouraging Character, Curiosity, and Creativity in Children.
Cover The Genius in Every Child

Available at Amazon.com

Let's HONOR Rick Ackerly, a nationally recognized educator and speaker with 45 years of working with children and teachers in schools.

Blog Potential Rick Ackerly educator
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The Parenting Challenge: What's Motivates My Child?

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Are Your Kids Motivated?

If you'd like to motivate your child, but find it quite challenging, our expert parenting author and master teacher is here to help. Carol Josel, in her book, Other-Wise and School-Wise, is inviting you to ask your child a powerful question. First you must ask yourself, "What motivates you?"

Getting a Move On

Motivation: whatever gets you moving, either externally, such as gold stars, the promise of a reward, even being grounded, or internally, such as will power, goals, and self-satisfaction.

Competition: seeking to win or gain what's wanted by others; rivalry.

QUESTION: What motivates you to work hard as a parent? How about professionally, socially, and personally? For instance, after working all day, what gets you to make dinner, help with homework, hop on the treadmill?

__Competing with myself?

__Competing with others?

__Meeting deadlines?

__Reaching goals?

__Being a role model?

__Challenging myself?

__Pleasing others?

__Ambition?

__Personal satisfaction?

__Surpassing expectations?

__Recognition?

QUESTION: Now ask your child what motivates him/her to forge ahead, tackle school work, participate in activities, and the like? Do you agree?

__Competing with myself?

__Competing with others?

__Academic success?

__Love of learning?

__Challenging myself?

__Parental approval?

__Rewards/gifts/money?

__Recognition?

__Pleasing teachers, friends?

__Sports requirements?

__Avoiding summer school?

__Interest/ curiosity?

__College/scholarship hopes?

__Career hopes?

"The person who tries to be better than himself is likely to have more success than the person who tries to be better than someone else." ~ Anonymous (From page 63)

You'll find lots of great ideas in Carol's Part 8, "On Motivation and Goal-Setting."

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I like Carol Josel's approach to finding out what motivates you first. Her list helps you expand your outlook on what drives you to accomplish things. After you acknowledge what motivates you, ask your student.

Just sit down with your child and go over Carol's list. Let your child to think about and discuss each one. Listen more than talk.

When you're finished discussing, you should have a good idea what motivates your child. Your next step is to see how you can help without being pushy.

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Pick up Carol Josel's book Other-Wise and School-Wise: A Parent Guidebook

Cover Other-Wise
Available at Amazon.com

Let's THANK Carol for her wisdom and work in helping parents raise successful students.

Author Carol Josel
Carol Josel, Master Teacher

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