Why won't this daughter listen?

Parents, who cannot listen, are the worst communicators. They cannot teach effective communication because they don’t practice it. 

Hey there! Are you someone who argues instead of listening to your child? Many parents do. Yet, listening is your most important parenting tool. Don't worry, if you decide to, you can always improve it. There are some habits you might have to brush aside before becoming a good listener.

Today I will share:

5 listening mistakes to avoid

5 simple listening habits to increase

1 simple formula for being your child's best counselor

3 fun listening activities for your family. 

5 Harmful Listening Habits to Avoid as a Parent:

Do you ever:

1. Interrupt your child?
2. Discount your child's opinions?
3. Dismiss your child's feelings?
4. Criticize your child?
5. Lecture your child?

Don't be overly concerned because here are 5 easy listening habits that you can use right now. They'll quickly improve your listening skills.

5 Listening Habits to Learn, Practice, and Model:

 

Father and Son Communicating

1. Look your child in the eye.
2. Focus on what they are saying.
3. Remember the key points.
4. Repeat those points in your words.
5. Ask questions to better understand your child.

By practicing these skills, you'll become a better listener. You'll be teaching your child good communication skills too. 

Become Your Child's Best Counselor:

Do you know why counselors are loved by their clients? It's because they are good listeners. They practice the 5 good habits. They also include the 70% Law of Communication, meaning, they listen 70% and speak 30%. As a parent, strive to speak less, listen more, and appreciate your child's thoughts and feelings. As you progress, notice how your relationship with your child strengthens. You'll become your child's best counselor too.

Here are 3 activities to make 'listening' a priority in your family: 

3 Activities for Family Listening:

1. Post a ‘Listening Habit of the Week’ on your refrigerator. Practice that habit in your home and outside your family. ‘Catch your children being good’ with a compliment when they listen well. 
2. The Morning Forecast: Tell your child, “Name something you’re looking forward to today.” The Evening Review: Ask, "What are some things you are grateful about today?"
3. Create free time each day and turn off technology. Use this time to discuss both your day and your child's day. Practice the 70% Law. 

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

Like this post? Tell me what you think. Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Mother and Daughter Discussing Character

Judging character is easy to teach. Coach your child to see how a person acts and hear what she says. Is the other kind, honest, and respectful? Or is she rude, unkind, and dishonest?

Training Your Child to Look for the Good 

Good Character is about being honest and having strong moral values. You can trust an honest person. But a dishonest person signals the red alert, "He lies. I can't trust him." The following questions open your child's eyes to finding good character in others.

Parenting Tip List - How to Ask about Character: 

Consider using these discussions around the kitchen table, in the car, or at bedtime.

1. Reject fault-finding in classmates.

• How can the habit of finding fault in others hurt you?
• How could fault-finding lead to gossip?
• What do you think about gossiping?

 

How Could Gossip Hurt Him?

2. Explore the Qualities of Character:

• How would you describe someone with a weak character?
• What are signs of a good character?
• How would you recognize the good character in others?

   3. Help Your Child Make Friends with Kids of Good Character:

• How can you be friendly?
• How can you have fun?
• How can you be appreciative?

3. Practice Praising a Classmate's Good Character:

 

Girl Enjoying a Compliment

• Pick a classmate to praise.
• What would you say? Let’s practice. 
• Share it with your classmate and tell me what happened.
• Who will you praise next?

Help your child listen to a classmate's words and see how she acts. He'll be assessing the 'content of her character.' It can influence him about who to avoid and who to choose as a friend. 

Guide your child to 'look for the good' in others. He will find it because you opened his eyes to see and his ears to hear.

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

"Positive Thinking Works Wonders"

Norman Vincent Peale wrote the Power of Positive Thinking. This short parenting article and video share how positive thinking leads to positive action.

Children can use positive actions to make friends. They can become friendly. Friendly children are a delight to know. They see the good in others and tell them. Because they are positive and friendly, they are magnets.

Friendly children give peers what they want: sincere attention, appreciation, and compliments. These positive actions boost the receiver’s spirit. Friendships may be the result. Norman Vincent Peale was right, “Positive thinking works wonders.”

Here's How It Works – 

 

Be Positive! Be Friendly!

Your Child:

1. Rejects fault-finding and criticism.
2. Looks for the honest good in others.
3. Doesn’t keep it to themselves.
4. Praises the other.
5. Makes friends.

How to Encourage Your Student to Find the Good in a Classmate.

 

Discuss and Encourage Honest Praise.

1. Pick a classmate to praise.
2. Discuss different genuine compliments to give.
3. Tell your child, “Share the compliment.”
4. “Come home and tell me what happened.”
5. Praise your child and ask, “Who do you want to compliment next?” Repeat the process.

How Parents Can Teach Kids an Unfriendly Attitude 

 

Looking for the Worst in Others

1. Look critical. Be critical.
2. Search for the worst in others.
3. Gossip about it.
4. Feel superior to your victim.
5. Lose your kids' trust to confide in you because you might tell others.

Looking for the worst in others and broadcasting it to people is gossiping. Gossip is bad for our minds. It creates adverse pathways in our brains. Our attitudes turn sour. Dissatisfaction and gloominess can result.

Proving Norman Vincent Peale Right

 

Look for the Good - So Easy!

Looking for the best in others and telling them specifically is a loving act. Honest complimenting is good for our minds. It creates positive pathways in our brains. Our attitudes blossom. Satisfaction and happiness can result. Positive thinking does work wonders.

Be your child's role model. Teach her to find the good in others. It's powerful and will make her world a happier place.

Please pass this 1-minute video forward to your friends and their families.

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Tattletale Frustration

Are your tattletales driving you batty? Do you want the tattling to stop? Check out the 5 discussions below. Then listen to the 37-second video for a simple solution.

Discussion about Tattling

 

Tattletale Trouble Maker

With your child, discuss the list below. Ask whether the tattler wants to get help for his sibling or get her in trouble. Then say, "Tell me more."

1. Mom, she ate all the ice cream.
2. Dad, he didn’t help me clean the garage.
3. Mom, her nose won’t stop bleeding.
4. Dad, he scratched your new car on purpose.
5. Mom, he poked his eye with a stick.                                      Which tattle gave a motive for the other sibling’s behavior? Did you need more details about any of the tattles? What tattletale complaints frustrate you in your home? Discuss them too.

 

This Tip Gets Kids Thinking

Best Parenting Tip for Tattles

This short video clip gives parents one excellent parenting tip for dealing with tattletales. Discuss its solution.

Use the solution whenever one of your children tattles. Be consistent. Let me know the outcome.

If you want more in-depth help - How Parents Stop Kids From Tattling on Sibs.

 

Self-Talk Influences Thoughts, Feelings,

and Behaviors

Bully prevention by playground kids takes bravery and positive thinking. This blog tells you how. You will find 3 discussion dilemmas and a gift of 10 positive slogans to help your child choose right over wrong. Your right-minded kid could become a playground hero.

Parents tell kids, “Don’t slump! Straighten up!” Sagging shoulders with head down look sad, weak and are targets for bullies.

 

Slumped Shoulders and

Head Down = Bully

Target

 Our body’s trunk, keeps our shoulders straight. A straight body with head up looks strong and confident. Practice standing with your child. Teach your youngster to keep trunk, head, and shoulders straight.

Your Child’s Mindset

You can teach your child to strengthen her mindset by teaching right from wrong. Mindsets include thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kids who know the difference between right and wrong and choose what’s right have strong characters. Help your child think ahead and prepare to act. Problem dilemmas like these 3 bullying situations can do just that.

The Playground Bully 

 

Playground Bully

John is big and strong. He wants kids to know it. Joey is little. His posture looks wimpy.

1. Is it OK for John to physically shove and punch Joey? Why?
2. How would you feel if you were Joey?
3. Should you and other kids stand by and let John bully Joey? Why?
4. Would you do this or something else that helps the victim?                             

 

How Would You Help a Victim?

Determine if your child’s mindset is strong. Does he choose right over wrong? Unassertive kids might say, “I don’t know” or shrug their shoulders. Their parents have work to do.

Sarcastic Bully

 

Sarcastic Bully

 Gina has a big mouth. She’s funny and sarcastic. Tammy is shy and quiet. Her shoulders slump.

1.  Is it OK for Gina to make fun of Tammy and put her down? Why?
2. How would you feel if you were Tammy?
3. Would you join the other kids and laugh at Tammy?
4. What would you do?
5. Is there a way to help Tammy? How?
   

    

   Would You Get Help from a Teacher?

If your child is clueless, you need to work on her mindset.

The Tormenting Bully

 

Lucas Wants Gail's Attention

Lucas is your friend. Lucas pesters girls by teasing, pulling hair, and tripping.

Lucas has a crush on Gail and wants her attention. Gail has long braids. Lucas yanks them. Gail shouts, “Stop it!” At other times, Lucas says, “You’re so stuck up.” Gail walks away. When Lucas tripped Gail and she fell, he laughed.

1. How would you feel if you were Gail?
2. What would you like to tell Lucas?
3. Would you keep him for a friend?
4. Would you help Gail? How?

 

Would You Yell, "Lucas, Stop!"

Your child’s answers tell you a lot. Does he know the difference between right and wrong? Do you need to guide his mindset?

How to Teach Right and Wrong - 3 Keys

These three ways will help you coach your child:

1. Ask him about his feelings regarding a troubling situation. Does he feel for the victim or the bully?
2. Question his thinking about the bullying. 
3. Probe about his behaviors. Would he help the bully or the victim?

Empathic kids with right-minded thoughts will rescue victims.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the three elements that create a weak or solid character. If your child chooses what is right, his/her mindset is solid.

If not, use friendly discussions by asking questions, listening well, and giving your opinion last. Don’t force your ideas, just express them. Otherwise, your child may rebel.

I invite you to use the above 3 discussion dilemmas.

Here are the 10 self-talk sayings to help your child deal with bully situations. You can also teach your child to make their own self-talk sayings.

 

10 Free Slogans to Discuss with Your

Kids

10 Self-Talk Mottoes for Heroic Kids –

Insert gift code

 SLOGANS and download your gift.

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

"Nobody likes me."

This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him.
People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves.
When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive.
When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.

 

You CAN help your child choose how to think.

How can you help your child become

a strong happy thinker? Here’s how:

Pick up your free Happy Thinker Exercise at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  Insert the code word - THINKER and download your gift.

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting Newsletter and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Miriam Laundry, Author, Teacher, Publisher

This Got My Friend a Ted Talk!

Have you ever thought about how publishing your own book could open doors in your career?

I was just talking to Miriam, and she was telling me about the time she self-published her first children’s book. It gave her more opportunities than she could’ve imagined.

 It actually gave her so many opportunities that she went on to publish 5 bestselling and award-winning children’s books.

After publishing, she won a Guinness World Record™…

I purchased this book. It revealed the thoughts and feelings of a fearful child. The twist at the end surprised me. Does your child have a big bad bully in her life? 

 

Choose Miriam for Writing, Editing, and Publishing -

Free Training 

Find Out How to Register Now: Free Training  

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Does your child ask you for money? Wonderful! Pick up my select businesses for children. They'll earn their own money and stop asking you. Go to www.kidsdiscuss.com and insert the code word - JOBS. Then download 9 businesses your child can start.

Check out my friend's, Mara Williams, excellent business books for kids. They are fun to read and show kids exactly what to do to run their own businesses. Get them on Amazon now. https://www.amazon.com/s?https://amzn.to/3RNmfZ0

 

 

You Can Help Your Bullied Child

The Bullied Child - How Parents Can Help

Bullying is a big deal. When a bullied child fills his mind with revenge, bad things can happen.

Or he thinks thoughts like:

1. Nobody likes me.
2. I’m so ugly.
3. I’m stupid.

His mind recycles many painful thoughts. He may turn his pain into self-shame.

In this post, I will share how a parent of elementary age children can counsel their bullied child with ideas that work.

How Your Bullied Child Is a Big Deal for the You

 

Raising a Bullied Child Hurts You Too

Imagine your child, Samuel, hates school. You talk to his teacher. She says, “Your child is being bullied and he has no friends.”

You learn what kids yell at him and it breaks your heart because the name-calling happens over and over.

Now Sam avoids eye contact. He doesn’t talk. He stays alone in his room. Lately, he pouts, grunts his answers, and often cries. His behavior hurts you because you love him so much.

 

Parents Comforting Bullied Son

What can you do?

1. Go to him. Hug and hold him gently. Say, “I know something is wrong.”
2. Tell Sam what you’ve noticed about his behavior that tells you he’s unhappy.
3. Ask him, “What’s going on, Sam?”

The Pillow Punching Technique

 

Teach the Pillow Punching Technique

If Sam cries or just grunts say, “Here’s a way to let your feelings out. Take this pillow. Punch it as hard as you can. Do it over and over until you feel better. I’ll be here if you need me.”

When Sam’s done ask, “What was that all about?”

Listen without interruption. When he stops talking say, “Tell me more.”

The Stress Drawing Technique

 

Guide with the Stress Drawing Technique

The painful picture:

Tell Sam to draw a picture of his feelings. The picture could be dark scribbles, a stick picture of himself, or something else. Say, “Tell me about your picture.”

Appreciate what your child told you. Say, “Thank you for sharing your pain with me.

The positive picture

Ask Sam to:

1. “Draw a picture of how you would like things to be.”
2. “Brainstorm 3 good ideas to try for making your positive picture come true.”

The Bullying Plan

Because bullying is a big deal, include your child in the plan. Make sure he will cooperate. Tell him, “No one deserves to be bullied and that means you.” Here's How:

Make a Bullying Plan with Your Child  - Read How

In this article you'll also find important tips to help your bullied child make friends.

Watch this short video together. 

Bullying – How Parents Help Kids Choose Kindness 

Related Product: Social Skills Kit for Kids

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting Newsletter and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Conversation starters are perfect for vacations. Children get to speak, and you get to hear what they really think. Your kids get to hear what you think too.

 

"One, Two, Three -GO!"

Time how long each person speaks. One minute is good for starters. 

Rule: No interrupting!

The first speaker picks his conversation from an envelope (see below). No peeking!

 

This child is thinking before he speaks.

The timer starts only when the speaker starts. When the speaker is finished, the group may ask him questions or give their opinions.

He then chooses the next person to speak. (Make sure everyone has a turn.)

If a member wants their turn to be a previous person’s topic, time them for one minute. Then that person picks the next speaker.

 

Mom is thinking whether to answer this question or the

previous one.

Note. The group can use the same conversation opener for everyone. Otherwise, each member can pick their own conversation. .

 

Dad is smiling as he thinks.

Suggestion:

Put the Conversation Starters in an envelope, purse, or backpack. Make them easy to find.

Whether you're going on a trip, a car ride, or a fun night at home, use these conversation openers. They're a great way to feel warm and cozy as a family. Remember, if f your having fun, your doing it right.

Get all 15 conversations starters. Insert code: CAR and download at www.KidsDiscuss.com  - They're FREE!

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate