"Nobody likes me."

This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him.
People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves.
When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive.
When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.

 

You CAN help your child choose how to think.

How can you help your child become

a strong happy thinker? Here’s how:

Pick up your free Happy Thinker Exercise at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  Insert the code word - THINKER and download your gift.

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Jean Tracy

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You Can Help Your Bullied Child

The Bullied Child - How Parents Can Help

Bullying is a big deal. When a bullied child fills his mind with revenge, bad things can happen.

Or he thinks thoughts like:

1. Nobody likes me.
2. I’m so ugly.
3. I’m stupid.

His mind recycles many painful thoughts. He may turn his pain into self-shame.

In this post, I will share how a parent of elementary age children can counsel their bullied child with ideas that work.

How Your Bullied Child Is a Big Deal for the You

 

Raising a Bullied Child Hurts You Too

Imagine your child, Samuel, hates school. You talk to his teacher. She says, “Your child is being bullied and he has no friends.”

You learn what kids yell at him and it breaks your heart because the name-calling happens over and over.

Now Sam avoids eye contact. He doesn’t talk. He stays alone in his room. Lately, he pouts, grunts his answers, and often cries. His behavior hurts you because you love him so much.

 

Parents Comforting Bullied Son

What can you do?

1. Go to him. Hug and hold him gently. Say, “I know something is wrong.”
2. Tell Sam what you’ve noticed about his behavior that tells you he’s unhappy.
3. Ask him, “What’s going on, Sam?”

The Pillow Punching Technique

 

Teach the Pillow Punching Technique

If Sam cries or just grunts say, “Here’s a way to let your feelings out. Take this pillow. Punch it as hard as you can. Do it over and over until you feel better. I’ll be here if you need me.”

When Sam’s done ask, “What was that all about?”

Listen without interruption. When he stops talking say, “Tell me more.”

The Stress Drawing Technique

 

Guide with the Stress Drawing Technique

The painful picture:

Tell Sam to draw a picture of his feelings. The picture could be dark scribbles, a stick picture of himself, or something else. Say, “Tell me about your picture.”

Appreciate what your child told you. Say, “Thank you for sharing your pain with me.

The positive picture

Ask Sam to:

1. “Draw a picture of how you would like things to be.”
2. “Brainstorm 3 good ideas to try for making your positive picture come true.”

The Bullying Plan

Because bullying is a big deal, include your child in the plan. Make sure he will cooperate. Tell him, “No one deserves to be bullied and that means you.” Here's How:

Make a Bullying Plan with Your Child  - Read How

In this article you'll also find important tips to help your bullied child make friends.

Watch this short video together. 

Bullying – How Parents Help Kids Choose Kindness 

Related Product: Social Skills Kit for Kids

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Jean Tracy

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How the Family Makes His Dream Come True

August 28, 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech. He told the crowd he wanted his four little children to be judged by the “content of their character,” not by the color of their skin.  You can make his dream come true.

Today, my new video will share 2 simple activities to teach your children. It promotes judging others in a way, I believe, Dr. King would approve.

Teaching Children To Find the Good in Each Member

First Character Building Activity

Gather your family together once a week. Pick a member's name from a special bowl. Each member tells the person with the name they picked an honest compliment. What's this got to do with judging character and Dr. Martin Luther King?  'Judging' includes the good qualities you see in each other. 

 

"Gabby, I like how nicely we talk to each other. You're

the best sister ever."

Second Character Building Activity 

Each member looks for the good in friends, classmates, and teachers. You'll see in the video how simple it is. Your children pay forward what they learned within your family. Imagine them sharing their experiences at your next family dinner.

 

Toby, your speech about Dr. King was so interesting.

Hopefully friends, classmates and teachers will also spread the good they find in others. Why? Because to 'judge' by looking for the good in others makes both the giver the receiver feel great.

It all starts in the family.

Enjoy this video now.  How Children Promote Dr. Martin Luther King's Dream

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media. https://youtu.be/A3uC3JS9yFk

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Empathy CAN Be Taught

PARENTS CAN TEACH CHILDREN EMPATHY WITH SIMPLE DISCUSSIONS. Today you and your child will find a childhood behavior to discuss, what mindsets to avoid, and 7 easy steps for teaching empathy.  Use it to help your child grow into a caring person who understands others.

Ask your youngster to analyze this situation by asking, “What don’t we know?”

Sarah gave her friend, Jane, a friendly punch. Jane yelled, “Stop it!” and hit Sarah hard.

Ask your child, "What don't we know?"

Hopefully, she answered, “We don’t know why Jane hit Sarah back so hard.”

Many kids might judge Jane and call her names. But that would put Jane on the defensive and make her mad because no one wants to be judged harshly.

Rather than being a critical judge, ask your child to think of some positive reasons why Jane may have hit Sarah. Why positive?

Usually, when someone does something, even if it’s negative,  it’s for a positive reason. We call it the ‘positive intent.’ This is because the doer, (Jane) is getting something positive out of her behavior.

 

What Positive Reasons Do Kids Have for Acting Badly?

Here are some sample reasons:

1. Maybe Sarah told her class a big secret about Jane's family and Jane found out. Now Jane’s breaking off the friendship.

2. Maybe Sarah has given Jane too many friendly punches that have bruised her in the past. Now Jane’s showing her what it feels like to stop Sarah from punching her again.

3. Maybe Jane was ridiculed by her class for a wrong answer and she thought Sarah’s friendly punch was intended to tease her for it. Jane’s hitting tells Sarah her teasing isn’t funny.

Who knows why Jane reacted the way she did? We’re not mind readers. Only Jane really knows. 

But stepping into Jane’s shoes and trying to see the situation from her point of view, your child is on the path to understanding and empathy.

Tell your child, “It’s hard to feel empathy for Jane or anyone else if you’re judging with a mean critical mind.”

 

Your Child CAN Switch Her Critical Judgments  to

Understanding Thoughts

Rather than judge, teach your child to:

1. Switch your critical thoughts to exploring positive reasons why she did what she did.
2. Avoid calling names or making accusations.
3. Ask don't tell. "Why did you...? rather than, "You did it because..."
4. Listen without judgment.
5. Try to see her point of view.
6. Show empathy with understanding comments like, "I can see why you felt that way."
7. Suggest she apologize, if appropriate.

If you do, she just might follow your suggestion. All because you asked, listened and cared.

Another important point, when someone acts poorly and you understand why they did it, doesn't mean you agree with their negative behavior. It does mean you chose to understand it.

Use these steps, whenever your child tells you about another child’s negative behaviors. Your discussions will be interesting, and you’ll be teaching her to be an empathic person with an understanding character.

Watch this 2 minute video with 5 questions to help your child turn from criticism to empathy.

How Parents Teach Empathy to Kids

The Transcript with the 5 Questions is beneath the video at YouTube when you click Show More. 

Bonus Articles with Videos:

7 Ways to Encourage Positive Brain Power in Your Child   

The Positive Child - 18 Top Parenting Tips and Tools 

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Don't Shut Down Your Child's Curiosity!

Curiosity is the key to learning because it makes studying fun and easy. Disinterested kids with negative mindsets think:

1. This is boring.
2. I’ll never use this stuff.
3. Why do I have to learn this?

Dark clouds of pessimism rule their thoughts. Studying is hard for them. Sometimes parents agree with them and increase their negativity, “Yeah, this does look like a waste of time.”

But other parents turn off their kids' curiosity without realizing it.

 

You CAN Avoid These Mistakes

Today’s parenting checklist shares 7 errors not to make. Become an informed parent and help your child become an enthusiastic lifelong learner. Get this bonus now at:

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

and enter the code words:

SHUT DOWN

Copy it to a binder and save it as a reminder.

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Parents CAN Stop Bullying at Home.

PARENTING  A CHILD BULLY  IS FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If you find you're constantly stepping in the middle and it isn't working, keep reading. Today I'll share 3 tips you can easily use and a 1 minute video with 11 positive suggestions.

You'll know that bullying is occurring,  if one child wants power over the other and wants to hurt the other with hitting, or yelling, or put-downs.

Of course, don't let jealousy be a cause for one child bullying the other. Do your best to show love, attention, and approval equally. Also separate your kids when the fighting starts. Here are 2 ways you can do that:

1. First Tip: Send each child to their rooms to hit their pillows at least 10 times. The idea is to help them let off the steam of anger, anxiety, and revenge. When they are done, get them to talk about the fighting and how to solve it. Let the solutions come from them.

2. Second Tip: Tell them to go to separate boring places in your home where they can't be in contact with each other.

Avoid their bedrooms because they could end up playing with toys instead of thinking about solutions.

Put the timer on for 5 minutes for them to come up a better way to handle the conflict.

Don't let them come up with easy immediate answers just so they won't have to be by themselves and think.

When the 5 minutes is up, listen to both sides. No interrupting by you or them.

In the end, have them act out their solutions.

Third Tip: Use this suggestion when the kids are getting along. A family meeting is ideal.

Discuss the problem with fighting.

Make sure they share their ideas without anyone interrupting.

This is a good time to practice listening skills. They must look at each other and repeat the other's ideas correctly before they get their turn to speak. The goal is to make sure each child feels heard.

Now please watch the 1 minute YouTube video with 11 more suggestions:

Click on: Sibling Bullying - How Parents Can Stop It

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child

Can Be Solved!

THINK OF HANDLING STUBBORN CHILDREN LIKE METAL BEADS AND A MAGNET. Your child's stubborn behaviors are the metal beads. Your reactions are the magnet. Each stubborn behavior can cause a swift and powerful clash if you let yourself explode with emotion. This doesn't have to happen.

Consider Using Logic by Asking Yourself 3 Questions:

1. What are the consequences to our relationship if I consistently blow-up?

       When I continually react with anger, his stubbornness hardens even more. Respect dies.

2. What are better ways of reacting to his stubbornness?

         I can use a kind, firm, and self-controlled voice.  With time and repetition, mutual respect could grow.

3. Are there specific ways to be the respectful parent and turn his headstrong behaviors into cooperative ones?

        If you draw a blank, watch our 1 minute video below. You'll find 5 solutions you can start using today.

Please remember, no parent is perfect. We all get over-stressed and lose our tempers. Don't get down on yourself if this happens to you. Just reconfirm your commitment to be a respectful parent.

One more thing, you CAN make the magnetic pull between you and your child into a pleasant and positive relationship.

Click on: Have a Headstrong Child? 5 Solutions

 To subscribe to my YouTube Videos, click on my face at the end of this video. To see my longer video on stubbornness click on the video in the upper left-hand corner.
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Children Love to Give Their Opinions

MANY PARENTS ARE NOT BORN COMMUNICATORS. They love their children but don't know how to talk to their kids. Over-talking turns kids off. Interrupting, sarcasm, and being too busy create a distance between parents and children.

Simple meaty questions and listening well open the door to good conversations. You don't have to do much. If your kids sense you're truly interested in what they think, even if they know you disagree, they'll talk. This means arguing to get them to change their minds is out. But you can ask more questions to get them to think deeper about a subject. And when they're done, you can share some thoughts of your own.

Today's parenting gift includes conversation starters for family dinners, car rides, and bedside chats. Some examples of starters could include:

1. What makes a good person? Why?
2. Would you like to be famous? Why?
3. Should kids have chores? Why?

Listening well takes patience because you might not like what you hear. But if you cut in and correct, you risk not finding out how your child really thinks. Why? Because your child may shut down and not talk. Then how can you guide your child to better thoughts?

Feel free to cut today's parenting bonus into ten questions. Put them in an envelope and pull out when you'd like to have an interesting conversation with your child.

Click - 10 Conversation Starters for a Loving Family

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

Insert Code Word: Conversation  and download gift.

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Sarcasm Hurts Children

If you’re a parent who ridicules your child, and your sarcasm is backfiring, you must change. Why? Because getting your friends to laugh at your youngster causes her pain. Don’t be surprised when your parent and child relationship suffers and your friends gossip behind your back.

Today we’ll share a video with a 1 minute parenting tip that shares a specific suggestion on how to change. We’ll even include the script.

Sarcastic Parents - Don't Push Your Child Away 

Transcript:

Don’t Push Your Child Away

A 60 Second Parenting Tip

Avoid Sarcasm.

You may be witty, a jokester, or very funny.

But it can be hurtful if your child is the object of your jokes.

When others laugh at her she could feel ashamed or ridiculous and foolish.

Stop! Sarcasm can backfire on you.

Your kids could avoid you now and, in the future, too.

Catch your child being good instead.

Tell him specifically what you like.

Use positive words and a pat on the back.

Keep your child close with honest compliments.

Please subscribe to my YouTube video by clicking on my face at the end of the video. 

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Listening Is Loving!

If you and your family are so busy with life that you don’t have time for each other, you might want to slow down. Remember the 10-10-10 Rule by Suzy Welch where you ask yourself 3 questions?

1. Will this (busyness) matter in 10 days?
2. Will it matter in 10 months?
3. Will it matter in 10 years?

In 10 years your 8-year old will be 18. The point is, we need to make room for our children if we want to enjoy a strong family bond. Family bonds can give each member a strong foundation for dealing with life, especially if it's a loving connection.

Today, our 1 minute parenting tip video features a simple solution you can start using today. Here is the video with the script below it:

Listening – the Key to Family Closeness

If You’re a Busy Parent AND YOU KEEP SAYING to your child, “I don’t’ have time to talk,” You could be sending him the message, “What I’m doing is more important than you are.” Of course, it’s not what you mean. What can you do? Tell your child when you can talk with him. “Give me 15 minutes. Then let’s talk.” Don’t forget!

If you haven't subscribed to my parenting videos on YouTube yet, you can do so by clicking on my face at the end of the video. I'd be honored by your subscription.

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