PARENTING A CHILD BULLY IS FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If you find you're constantly stepping in the middle and it isn't working, keep reading. Today I'll share 3 tips you can easily use and a 1 minute video with 11 positive suggestions.
You'll know that bullying is occurring, if one child wants power over the other and wants to hurt the other with hitting, or yelling, or put-downs.
Of course, don't let jealousy be a cause for one child bullying the other. Do your best to show love, attention, and approval equally. Also separate your kids when the fighting starts. Here are 2 ways you can do that:
1. First Tip: Send each child to their rooms to hit their pillows at least 10 times. The idea is to help them let off the steam of anger, anxiety, and revenge. When they are done, get them to talk about the fighting and how to solve it. Let the solutions come from them.
2. Second Tip: Tell them to go to separate boring places in your home where they can't be in contact with each other.
Avoid their bedrooms because they could end up playing with toys instead of thinking about solutions.
Put the timer on for 5 minutes for them to come up a better way to handle the conflict.
Don't let them come up with easy immediate answers just so they won't have to be by themselves and think.
When the 5 minutes is up, listen to both sides. No interrupting by you or them.
In the end, have them act out their solutions.
Third Tip: Use this suggestion when the kids are getting along. A family meeting is ideal.
Discuss the problem with fighting.
Make sure they share their ideas without anyone interrupting.
This is a good time to practice listening skills. They must look at each other and repeat the other's ideas correctly before they get their turn to speak. The goal is to make sure each child feels heard.
Now please watch the 1 minute YouTube video with 11 more suggestions:
THINK OF HANDLING STUBBORN CHILDREN LIKE METAL BEADS AND A MAGNET. Your child's stubborn behaviors are the metal beads. Your reactions are the magnet. Each stubborn behavior can cause a swift and powerful clash if you let yourself explode with emotion. This doesn't have to happen.
Consider Using Logic by Asking Yourself 3 Questions:
1. What are the consequences to our relationship if I consistently blow-up?
When I continually react with anger, his stubbornness hardens even more. Respect dies.
2. What are better ways of reacting to his stubbornness?
I can use a kind, firm, and self-controlled voice. With time and repetition, mutual respect could grow.
3. Are there specific ways to be the respectful parent and turn his headstrong behaviors into cooperative ones?
If you draw a blank, watch our 1 minute video below. You'll find 5 solutions you can start using today.
Please remember, no parent is perfect. We all get over-stressed and lose our tempers. Don't get down on yourself if this happens to you. Just reconfirm your commitment to be a respectful parent.
One more thing, you CAN make the magnetic pull between you and your child into a pleasant and positive relationship.
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MANY PARENTS ARE NOT BORN COMMUNICATORS. They love their children but don't know how to talk to their kids. Over-talking turns kids off. Interrupting, sarcasm, and being too busy create a distance between parents and children.
Simple meaty questions and listening well open the door to good conversations. You don't have to do much. If your kids sense you're truly interested in what they think, even if they know you disagree, they'll talk. This means arguing to get them to change their minds is out. But you can ask more questions to get them to think deeper about a subject. And when they're done, you can share some thoughts of your own.
Today's parenting gift includes conversation starters for family dinners, car rides, and bedside chats. Some examples of starters could include:
What makes a good person? Why?
Would you like to be famous? Why?
Should kids have chores? Why?
Listening well takes patience because you might not like what you hear. But if you cut in and correct, you risk not finding out how your child really thinks. Why? Because your child may shut down and not talk. Then how can you guide your child to better thoughts?
Feel free to cut today's parenting bonus into ten questions. Put them in an envelope and pull out when you'd like to have an interesting conversation with your child.
If you’re a parent who ridicules your child, and your sarcasm is backfiring, you must change. Why? Because getting your friends to laugh at your youngster causes her pain. Don’t be surprised when your parent and child relationship suffers and your friends gossip behind your back.
Today we’ll share a video with a 1 minute parenting tip that shares a specific suggestion on how to change. We’ll even include the script.
If you and your family are so busy with life that you don’t have time for each other, you might want to slow down. Remember the 10-10-10 Rule by Suzy Welch where you ask yourself 3 questions?
Will this (busyness) matter in 10 days?
Will it matter in 10 months?
Will it matter in 10 years?
In 10 years your 8-year old will be 18. The point is, we need to make room for our children if we want to enjoy a strong family bond. Family bonds can give each member a strong foundation for dealing with life, especially if it's a loving connection.
Today, our 1 minute parenting tip video features a simple solution you can start using today. Here is the video with the script below it:
If You’re a Busy Parent AND YOU KEEP SAYING to your child, “I don’t’ have time to talk,” You could be sending him the message, “What I’m doing is more important than you are.” Of course, it’s not what you mean. What can you do? Tell your child when you can talk with him. “Give me 15 minutes. Then let’s talk.” Don’t forget!
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Listening Is the Parenting Skill that Brings Kids Close
When parents interrupt by talking louder than children to make their point, kids feel angry, unheard, and closed down. If you've ever been interrupted, talked down to, or over-talked, remember how you felt.
Listening doesn't mean you agree with what your child said. It just means you listened. Of course, if you disagree, don't charge into your child with loud disagreement. Calmly ask questions and listen some more. The better you understand the better your child may listen to you.
Arguing doesn't solves problems. It just cements each side's opinions. We see this in the news every day. I bet there have been times you turned it off. Who wants to hear people fight?
Today's parenting gift offers rhymes as reminders to listen. You'll find 10 altogether. Pick the one you may need and save the others in a 3-hole binder in case you need them in the future. Here are two more of the rhyming reminders:
When you want to communicate better with your child, avoid buying things. Yes, kids do want toys, video games, and new cell phones. But if you experience your kids always wanting more, is gifting material things really a good idea?
This parenting present offers more than 3 gifts. It shares 10. Choose the 3 you need the most. Practice them and feel your parent/child connection grow.
Repeat What Your Child Said.
Repeating what your child said is proof that you listened. It proves that you paid attention and respect him. Listening opens the doors of communication and creates closeness.
Get your parenting tip sheet by inserting the code word:
Add it to a 3-hole binder to use whenever your relationship with your child is drifting. Then choose the listening skills you want to practice. Refresh your relationship and enjoy your loving connection.
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IF YOU'RE A BUSY PARENT and WANT YOUR KIDS TO CONFIDE IN YOU, but don't know how, watch today's brief video. Here's why:
Not having time for kids to share their thoughts or answer their questions can shut them down. When you're too busy too often and you want to change, try this parenting solution:
Listen to all of what he is saying. Be silent. (Did you know silent and listen include the same letters?)
When he's finished, ask questions to be sure you understand. Don't jump to conclusions or immediately say what you think.
Here are some questions you might ask:
Would you explain it a little more?
How do you feel about it?
How is it affecting your life?
What do you think you should do?
How can I help?
Listening Well Helps Kids Confide.
Questions like these show kids you're really interested in their thoughts, opinions, and feelings. They show you care. When kids know parents care they just might confide in them more.
This doesn't mean you should be overly intrusive, take over, or do what children could do for themselves. Such parenting behavior could shut kids down even more.
One more thing, you could say after kids share their thoughts, "I'd like time to think about what you said. Let's talk about it a little later." Don't forget to make it happen. It lets kids know you take their concerns seriously. It gives them more time to think too.