Timid kids feel pain. Parents watch and suffer. Loneliness wins.
Imagine your child sitting alone in the lunchroom thinking,
“No one will sit with me. Nobody likes me.”
What does she feel? Does she rush to the bathroom and hide until classes start again?
Bashful kids don’t have to be friendless. You can help. There is a 3-part blueprint that works.
Go slow. Keep the steps small. Why? Because shy kids are overwhelmed by fearful thoughts and feelings. Big leaps don’t work.
3 Don’ts for Overcoming Shyness
Don’t speak up for your children because they’ll lose the chance to speak up for themselves.
Don’t make excuses for your children because they’ll rely on those excuses and not try.
Don’t put your children down for being shy because your comments will add to their misery.
3 Do’s for Helping Shy Kids Make Friends
Do ask if they’d like to make friends because you want to know if they’ll cooperate.
Do ask, “What stops you from making friends?" because the answer is important and will help you guide them with the blueprint.
Do tell them that making friends is a skill they can learn because it will give them the hope they need.
A Few Friends Can Make a Big Difference.
Shy kids need your patience because impatience shuts them down. Remember, even tiny steps require taking risks. Your children may never become an outgoing extrovert or big talker. But, with your help, they can overcome loneliness and satisfy their need for a few close friends.
Pick up the Blueprint by inserting the code, SPEAK UP at:
The entitled child believes everything should go his way. He acts like he’s the king of the universe. Justin was such a boy.
Whenever Justin’s younger brother, Seth, wouldn’t play Justin’s video games with him, he’d punch Seth and yell, “I hate you!” When his mom scolded Justin, he’d sass back, “You always take Seth’s side,” then slam his bedroom door.
If Justin was your son, would you want to hit him? Would you yell, “I’m sick and tired of your angry behavior!” and preach the same old lecture?
Consider having a conversation with Justin when both of you are calm.
Teaching the Entitled Child How to Be Realistic
Use yourself as an example. It might go something like this:
Mom: Remember when I arranged a birthday party for Grandpa?
Mom: I was frustrated because only three of our family members came. I really felt mad inside. I wanted to tell those who didn’t come what I thought of them.
Justin: Did you?
Mom: No, because I remembered something Grandpa taught me as a child. He’d say, “Sally, you’re not the Queen of the Universe. Things don’t have to go your way.”
Justin: How did that help you?
Mom: Can you guess?
Mom: Because if I was the queen, I could make everybody do what I want.
Justin: But you’re not the queen so you couldn't force everyone to come to Grandpa's party.
Mom: That’s right. How might that thought help you?
Justin: I’m not the King of the Universe so things don't have to go my way either.
Mom: Right. What about Seth not playing your video games?
Mom: How can we remind ourselves that we’re not the king or queen of the universe?
Justin: Let’s make 2 signs that say, “I’m Not the King,” and “I’m Not the Queen” and post them on the fridge.
Mom: And every time we stop ourselves from losing our tempers let’s make a tally mark on our signs.
Conclusion for Helping Entitled Kids Become Reasonable
Entitled kids need to know that life isn’t fair, doesn’t cater to what they want, and can be disappointing at times. You can teach them with reasonable self-talk how to be more rational about life. None of us is the king or queen of the universe. Things often don't go our way. Sometimes we need to be patient and accept that fact. And sometimes it becomes a challenge to creatively overcome the problem.
As the parent, you are the best one to teach him this lesson by being reasonable yourself and having good discussions with him. Start with a true story about when you were angry and irrational. He won't feel like you're pointing a finger at him and he'll like spending private time with you.
Kids with curious mindsets are bound to enjoy interesting lives. As parents you can nurture wonder and a thirst for knowledge in your youngsters. In today's parenting gift you will receive a checklist of 10 ways to boost your child's intellectual curiosity.
You Will Find Out What To:
Say when your child asks about a topic.
Answer when you want to promote his questions.
Do to encourage his enthusiasm.
Curious Learners Search for Answers
Some parents do to much to help. Others show little or no interest. Being balanced in your words and actions is the key. It's fun too.
Pick up your parenting checklist by inserting the code word:
POSITIVE RHYMES MOTIVATE KIDS. Repetition recirculates them in their memories and becomes well-traveled paths in their brains.
I remember a quote from 5th grade when our class was learning about explorers, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." That became a lifelong slogan for me. It helped me motor (although slowly) through many a tough math class.
When a motivating rhyme is catchy and appeals to your child , suggest creating a bookmark, a poster, or a sticky note of it. It might become a well-traveled path and a lifelong motivator too.
In today's one-minute video you and your child will hear 5 rhymes that appeal to the senses. Feel free to tell your child to use his favorite one often. He could also use it as a springboard to creating his own one-line poem.
DR. SEUSS MOTIVATED KIDS. Parents, by asking children the right questions, you can motivate them too. Knowing the best questions is the subject of this gift.
Imagine your child giving up. You've tried everything to encourage your child. You've even:
Bribed him with expensive rewards.
Lectured her about not getting into college.
Threatened him with punishment.
Ignored her discouragement.
Yelled at him.
Bribing might work for a few weeks. But, if bringing their grades up takes a few months, many children will give up. Besides do you really want to be a briber? If you do, you might have to bribe your kids for everything. That means only big external rewards will get them to perform. The important internal rewards like satisfaction, curiosity, and excitement could be lost.
Lecturing about college and getting a good job, like bribing, doesn't motivate because it's too far into the future.
Punishment may make them rebel.
Ignoring their discouragement may give them the idea, 'Mom doesn't care so it doesn't matter.'
Yelling, like punishment, will probably backfire.
But there are better ways to motivate your child.
Ask Motivating Questions
Pick up today's handout with its 7 questions. Keep it handy. When your child needs encouragement, choose the best question for that moment. Be an investigator, listen well, use empathy if appropriate, and be consistent.
DOES YOUR CHILD COMPLAIN, “I can’t,” or “It’s too hard?” If you’d like to motivate him, check the strategies inside this parenting gift. Find the ones you can start using today.
If your daughter has a long habit of negative self-talk, you’ll need to repeat the methods often to remind her that she can succeed.
Should you be an optimistic parent, you may have an easier time helping your child become positive like yourself. Why? Positive people attract. They tend to be magnetic because they share a hopeful energy that others like to be near. That’s why they are successful. As long as you don't overdue it, your positive style will attract your child too.
Negative parents repel.
In today’s parenting gift, you'll find ideas for boosting your child’s:
Getting A’s must not be what success is about. Why? Because sooner or later even the very bright child will fail at something. The fear of failing could slow down his desire to try. The risk is just too great.
But risk is the key to succeeding. Risk is about effort, grit, and the willingness to stick one's neck out.
Please download this gift and, if you don’t need it immediately, add it to your 3-hole binder for future reference. You never know which idea you might need for raising your successful child.
Go to KidsDiscuss.comand Insert the code word for Subscriber Gifts: SUCCESS
Then download your subscriber gift.
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MANY PARENTS ARE NOT BORN COMMUNICATORS. They love their children but don't know how to talk to their kids. Over-talking turns kids off. Interrupting, sarcasm, and being too busy create a distance between parents and children.
Simple meaty questions and listening well open the door to good conversations. You don't have to do much. If your kids sense you're truly interested in what they think, even if they know you disagree, they'll talk. This means arguing to get them to change their minds is out. But you can ask more questions to get them to think deeper about a subject. And when they're done, you can share some thoughts of your own.
Today's parenting gift includes conversation starters for family dinners, car rides, and bedside chats. Some examples of starters could include:
What makes a good person? Why?
Would you like to be famous? Why?
Should kids have chores? Why?
Listening well takes patience because you might not like what you hear. But if you cut in and correct, you risk not finding out how your child really thinks. Why? Because your child may shut down and not talk. Then how can you guide your child to better thoughts?
Feel free to cut today's parenting bonus into ten questions. Put them in an envelope and pull out when you'd like to have an interesting conversation with your child.