This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him. People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves. When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive. When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.
Lou Tice, speaker, motivator and founder of the Pacific Institute, taught the 3 parts in goal-setting. He said that good goal-setting starts with the thought, then the picture, and then the emotions that go with them. When we put them altogether, they become our self-talk. He said "Control your self-talk and you control your life."
Many years ago, I viewed a film in which he taught goal-setting. Immediately, I saw its value. I knew I could teach this technique to adults and children in my counseling practice. The following is an example:
Fearful Negative Self-Talk
The thought - “I can’t give my book report in front of the class.”
The picture – the class is making fun of me.
The emotion - fear
When we say, see, and sense it altogether and keep recycling it, it becomes our painful reality. As Lou Tice said, “We move toward our pictures (the pictures in our head).
We don’t have to think negatively. We can control our lives with positive self-talk. We can teach our children to set goals with positive self-talk too. But how? I'll show you soon.
Brave Positive Self-Talk
The thought - “I am giving my book report with confidence.” (Use “I am” as if it is happening now.)
The picture – The class is listening and smiling. (Look at what you would see, not yourself – see your class.)
The emotion - confidence.
Finally, put the positive thought, picture and emotion all together in one moment and do it each morning and night. This is the way to set goals, be successful and create a happier life.
We can control our destiny by controlling our self-talk. Let’s instruct our minds to create positive pictures with positive self-talk using this simple method.
This video shows you how:
Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.
Healthy character building teachers children to choose their thoughts. Your kids can choose their feelings too. Inside you’ll find 2 ways to help your children choose winning feelings and build character too.
Building Character in Kids that DeveloptheFeelings of Joy and Enthusiasm:
"When we accept tough jobs as a challenge. . . and wade into them with joy and enthusiasm, miracles can happen." - Arland Gilbert
Your child becomes a winner when he approaches life with joy and enthusiasm. But when your child’s spirits are down, he won't want to try. Goal setting offers him a way to learn the magic of optimism. Here are two ways you can help him feel the magic.
Why Brad Chooses to Try
2 Parenting Tips – How Brad Creates a Winning Spirit
Let's say your Brad loves soccer but he's an average player. His last practice was a disaster. He's told you that he'll be standing on the sidelines this season. Now he mopes around the house. Your heart goes out to him. You ask him if he'd like a way to create winning feelings. He nods. Here's what to do:
Listening to tattling is like scratching a swollen mosquito bite. If you listen to it over and over, it will get worse. Tattling becomes your child’s habit. Screaming becomes your cure, but only for the moment.
There is a better way. Today we’ll show a video to stop the tattling. You’ll see within the video a father who asks his daughter,
“Are you trying to help or hurt your sister?”
If she’s tattling to get her sister in trouble, he tells her:
“Please try to solve the problem yourself. Then come back and tell me how you solved it.”
Two Parenting Goals for Problem-Solving
To increase problem-solving with your positive attention.
To decrease tattling.
Listening Is the Gift Your Child Wants
The Problem-Solving Gift
Imagine you’re the girl’s father. When she returns to share her solution, listen. Good listening is a hug without words. It is filled with your attention. It is peaceful and loving. It is your gift to her.
How Listening Shows Caring:
Good listening avoids judging or arguing. It really wants to know your child’s thoughts and feelings. If there is something you don’t understand, ask questions after she’s done speaking.
Here is what you might say when your child shares her solution:
Let’s talk about your solution.
What voice did you use and what did you say?
How did it end?
How did you feel after you solved it?
What do you need to do to avoid a conflict next time?
What do you think of your becoming a problem-solver?
Can you guess how proud I am of you?
In the end, you want your child to be able to say, “ You really listened. You really care about how I think.”
Listening is a gift that can be used over and over in many different situations, not just tattling. Why? Because listening with love is what your child wants. It creates a bond with your child and harmony in your home. Yes, it takes more time and it is rewarding. It is a great way to teach problem-solving.
This brief video shares more ways to stop the tattling: