This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him. People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves. When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive. When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.
You CAN help your child choose how to think.
How can you help your child become
a strong happy thinker? Here’s how:
Pick up your free Happy Thinker Exercise at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com Insert the code word - THINKER and download your gift.
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Lou Tice, speaker, motivator and founder of the Pacific Institute, taught the 3 parts in goal-setting. He said that good goal-setting starts with the thought, then the picture, and then the emotions that go with them. When we put them altogether, they become our self-talk. He said "Control your self-talk and you control your life."
Speaker and
Motivator
Many years ago, I viewed a film in which he taught goal-setting. Immediately, I saw its value. I knew I could teach this technique to adults and children in my counseling practice. The following is an example:
I can't.
Fearful Negative Self-Talk
The thought - “I can’t give my book report in front of the class.”
The picture – the class is making fun of me.
The emotion - fear
When we say, see, and sense it altogether and keep recycling it, it becomes our painful reality. As Lou Tice said, “We move toward our pictures (the pictures in our head).
We don’t have to think negatively. We can control our lives with positive self-talk. We can teach our children to set goals with positive self-talk too. But how? I'll show you soon.
Brave Positive Self-Talk
The thought - “I am giving my book report with confidence.” (Use “I am” as if it is happening now.)
The picture – The class is listening and smiling. (Look at what you would see, not yourself – see your class.)
The emotion - confidence.
Finally, put the positive thought, picture and emotion all together in one moment and do it each morning and night. This is the way to set goals, be successful and create a happier life.
We can control our destiny by controlling our self-talk. Let’s instruct our minds to create positive pictures with positive self-talk using this simple method.
This video shows you how:
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Parents, give up resolutions! They don’t work because something is missing. Neither you nor your children can reach your goals without it. Today, I will:
Show why resolutions are broken.
Apply what a great leader understood.
Share a 4 minute video showing you and your children the way to achieve goals.
It’s not that you don’t want to achieve your goals or that you’re not strong enough to make them happen.
5 Reasons Resolutions Are Broken:
Losing interest in the goal.
Forgetting about the resolution.
Breaking the goal once and then giving up.
Breaking it for a good reason.
Breaking it at a party or because of a teasing friend.
William James, (1842-1910), the founder of American Psychology, stated:
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”
William James, 1842-1910
A good resolution includes altering attitudes. Positive attitudes are the foundation for good resolutions. They include clear vision, emotions and the words that describe them.
For example, envision these attitudes:
To embrace exercise rather than dread it -
“I am exercising with vim and vigor.”
To choose healthy foods over unhealthy foods -
“I am eating delicious fruits and vegetables.”
To focus on math rather than give up -
“I am seeing how to problem solve and multiplying with ease.”
To become outgoing rather than shy -
“I am smiling and acting friendly at school.”
To choose patience over impatience -
“I am looking at my child with loving eyes.”
Resolution: "I am looking at my child with loving eyes."
William James also said:
“It’s our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task that will determine its success.”
Resolutions can be challenging tasks. Otherwise, we wouldn’t need them to improve our lives. Attitudes are the missing piece at the beginning of solid resolutions.
Don’t give up resolutions! They can work.
Today’s simple method gives you and your children an effective way to develop the attitudes to make your goals come true.
Healthy character building teachers children to choose their thoughts. Your kids can choose their feelings too. Inside you’ll find 2 ways to help your children choose winning feelings and build character too.
Building Character in Kids that DeveloptheFeelings of Joy and Enthusiasm:
"When we accept tough jobs as a challenge. . . and wade into them with joy and enthusiasm, miracles can happen." - Arland Gilbert
Your child becomes a winner when he approaches life with joy and enthusiasm. But when your child’s spirits are down, he won't want to try. Goal setting offers him a way to learn the magic of optimism. Here are two ways you can help him feel the magic.
Why Brad Chooses to Try
2 Parenting Tips – How Brad Creates a Winning Spirit
Let's say your Brad loves soccer but he's an average player. His last practice was a disaster. He's told you that he'll be standing on the sidelines this season. Now he mopes around the house. Your heart goes out to him. You ask him if he'd like a way to create winning feelings. He nods. Here's what to do:
Our Melting Pot Culture is filled with racial and ethnic treasures. When we extend a hand in friendship to one another, opportunities flow-in. But it can be scary.
Cross Cultural Invitations
Extend a Hand with an Invite
Making friends can be risky.
Don’t be shy. Just be frisky,
Smile kindly big and bright.
Extend your hand with an invite,
That crosses cultures and you will see,
Your new friend is filled with glee.
Once that door is open, barriers can be overcome, friendships can begin, and appreciation for our sameness and differences can blossom.
Friendship Ice Breakers
Invite Friendships with Flowers
Everyone is responsible to extend a hand in friendship. There are fun and easy ways to break the ice with invitations like:
Who can you trust? Who's telling the truth? Today the truth is hard to know.
You want your child to be honest, but how?
First, go back to your childhood. Remember a time when you told a lie and felt guilty. Were you plagued by regret and fear? Did you worry that you'd be found out and get punished?
Lies can torment your child too.
I remember those feelings. I didn't know how to face up to what I'd done. This article will help you teach your child how to tell the truth and avoid guilt.
You CAN Help Your Child Choose Truth Over Guilt.
Today's article shares:
8 painful results from lying
7 positive effects for being truthful
6 honesty strategies
5 moral dilemmas to discuss
10 self-talk rhymes to repeat
Feel free to choose the ones that are most helpful.
Listening to tattling is like scratching a swollen mosquito bite. If you listen to it over and over, it will get worse. Tattling becomes your child’s habit. Screaming becomes your cure, but only for the moment.
There is a better way. Today we’ll show a video to stop the tattling. You’ll see within the video a father who asks his daughter,
“Are you trying to help or hurt your sister?”
If she’s tattling to get her sister in trouble, he tells her:
“Please try to solve the problem yourself. Then come back and tell me how you solved it.”
Two Parenting Goals for Problem-Solving
To increase problem-solving with your positive attention.
To decrease tattling.
Listening Is the Gift Your Child Wants
The Problem-Solving Gift
Imagine you’re the girl’s father. When she returns to share her solution, listen. Good listening is a hug without words. It is filled with your attention. It is peaceful and loving. It is your gift to her.
How Listening Shows Caring:
Good listening avoids judging or arguing. It really wants to know your child’s thoughts and feelings. If there is something you don’t understand, ask questions after she’s done speaking.
Here is what you might say when your child shares her solution:
Let’s talk about your solution.
What voice did you use and what did you say?
How did it end?
How did you feel after you solved it?
What do you need to do to avoid a conflict next time?
What do you think of your becoming a problem-solver?
Can you guess how proud I am of you?
In the end, you want your child to be able to say, “ You really listened. You really care about how I think.”
Listening is a gift that can be used over and over in many different situations, not just tattling. Why? Because listening with love is what your child wants. It creates a bond with your child and harmony in your home. Yes, it takes more time and it is rewarding. It is a great way to teach problem-solving.
This brief video shares more ways to stop the tattling:
Imagine fear invading your mind like a virus. It infects your mind with thoughts. It’s all you can think about.
Will I get sick?
Will my kids get sick?
What about my job?
So many thoughts recycling over and over that you:
Forget what you’re about to do.
Talk harshly.
Make mistakes.
Feel tight inside.
Forget to breathe.
Now imagine your child watching you. He’s seen the news. He’s aware that things are bad and wonders:
Kids worry too.
Am I safe?
Will my parents protect me?
What will happen to my family?
Fear has infected him too.
How Parents Are Mentally Stronger than Children:
You’ve battled difficult situations and painful feelings many times in your life. You are a mind warrior because somehow, you’ve come through.
Your child is much less experienced than you and lacks the mental weapons you possess, even if you don’t know you possess them.
Remember this. It’s the frightful thoughts that wage war in your mind and cause your fear. You’ve battled them before. How will you deal with them now?
Today I’ll share the Emotion Meter (Sometimes called the Mood Meter) to use personally and then with your child. Use it as often as needed. Be a warrior again and teach your child to be a warrior too.