How Your 'Listening Eyes' Connect You with Your Child.

The Parent-Child Bond - A New Revolutionary Approach:

Have you ever found yourself misunderstanding your child, especially when busy? I know I have, and it can be upsetting for children and parents. But there's a new way of thinking and I’ll share it with you today. I call it 'Listening Eyes.'

Words are just one part of the parent-child connection. Here’s the new approach:

Open your 'listening eyes' to notice your child's body language. You'll get a sense of what he's experiencing, thinking, and feeling. It’s a great way for you to enter into a deeper connection.

Today, I will share:

• 3 essential ways to 'Listen with Your Eyes,' using Michael's story.
• 3 benefits when you use this approach.
• 3 fun family activities to practice.

If you're ready to revolutionize your parenting from focusing on busy work to connecting with your child, keep reading.

3 Essential Actions for Your 'Listening Eyes': 

 

'Listening Eyes' Notice His Body

Language.

1. Observe your child's facial expressions, posture, mood, tears, smiles, and more.
2. Put down what you're doing and make eye contact.
3. Invite your child to share his feelings and show him understanding.

Michael's Story

Michael’s story is an example of how 'Listening Eyes' can help you.

Imagine your nine-year-old son, Michael, sitting on the sofa. You see his crossed arms, his tight lips, and his stiff posture.

You're busy paying bills at the dining room table. You wonder, ‘What’s bugging him?’ You say, "Michael, come here. Let's talk."  You put your arm around him and ask, "What happened, Michael?"

You remember the 70%Law. You listen 70% of the time and speak only 30%. As Michael tells you what happened, you listen attentively. When he finishes, you might do some of these things:

1. Ask questions to understand Michael better.
2. Repeat his main points.
3. Ask Michael if he has a solution.
4. Give him a suggestion if he's open.
5. Say, "Thank you for telling me, Michael." 

 Michael’s arms unfold. He breathes evenly, smiles, and says, "Can I help you wash the car today?" You end with a big hug.

 

Your 'Listening Eyes' Started a Deeper Connection.

Can you see how your ‘listening eyes’ helped you give Michael the support he needed? Can you feel how your connection strengthened too?

How Listening Eyes See the Bigger Picture

Are you wondering, "Did I go too far into Michael's personal space? Don’t worry. You aren’t mind-reading or invading Michael’s inner world. Observing his body language and inviting him to talk is a kind act. Michael tells you what he wants you to know. When you listen with your eyes, Michael shows you the bigger picture. 

'Listening Eyes' Offer 3 Communication Benefits: 

1. Closer Connections: When you truly engage and your child knows you care, trust grows.
2. Deeper Empathy: When you sense your child's feelings, closeness grows.
3. Better Understanding: When you see what's behind your child's behavior, your loving influence can grow.

3 Fun Family Activities to Practice "Listening with Your Eyes":

 

'Listening Eyes' Bring Families Together.

 

1. Play "I Spy" by describing an object's different qualities like color, pattern, outline, trim, and material. Pause and ask after each quality, "Who can guess what I see?” This will sharpen how each member's eyes can visualize.
2.  Take turns acting out a story without words. Use gestures, facial expressions, and actions of the characters. Find out how others interpreted your story.
3. Watch a TV ad without sound. Take turns guessing what the actors are saying.

Remember, 'Listening Eyes' are an essential key to better communication. They lessen misunderstandings and increase awareness of your child's inner world and emotions. They create an unbeatable bond of trust and love. The next time your child comes to you, use your 'listening eyes' and make that loving connection.

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

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• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

"Positive Thinking Works Wonders"

Norman Vincent Peale wrote the Power of Positive Thinking. This short parenting article and video share how positive thinking leads to positive action.

Children can use positive actions to make friends. They can become friendly. Friendly children are a delight to know. They see the good in others and tell them. Because they are positive and friendly, they are magnets.

Friendly children give peers what they want: sincere attention, appreciation, and compliments. These positive actions boost the receiver’s spirit. Friendships may be the result. Norman Vincent Peale was right, “Positive thinking works wonders.”

Here's How It Works – 

 

Be Positive! Be Friendly!

Your Child:

1. Rejects fault-finding and criticism.
2. Looks for the honest good in others.
3. Doesn’t keep it to themselves.
4. Praises the other.
5. Makes friends.

How to Encourage Your Student to Find the Good in a Classmate.

 

Discuss and Encourage Honest Praise.

1. Pick a classmate to praise.
2. Discuss different genuine compliments to give.
3. Tell your child, “Share the compliment.”
4. “Come home and tell me what happened.”
5. Praise your child and ask, “Who do you want to compliment next?” Repeat the process.

How Parents Can Teach Kids an Unfriendly Attitude 

 

Looking for the Worst in Others

1. Look critical. Be critical.
2. Search for the worst in others.
3. Gossip about it.
4. Feel superior to your victim.
5. Lose your kids' trust to confide in you because you might tell others.

Looking for the worst in others and broadcasting it to people is gossiping. Gossip is bad for our minds. It creates adverse pathways in our brains. Our attitudes turn sour. Dissatisfaction and gloominess can result.

Proving Norman Vincent Peale Right

 

Look for the Good - So Easy!

Looking for the best in others and telling them specifically is a loving act. Honest complimenting is good for our minds. It creates positive pathways in our brains. Our attitudes blossom. Satisfaction and happiness can result. Positive thinking does work wonders.

Be your child's role model. Teach her to find the good in others. It's powerful and will make her world a happier place.

Please pass this 1-minute video forward to your friends and their families.

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

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• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Tattletale Frustration

Are your tattletales driving you batty? Do you want the tattling to stop? Check out the 5 discussions below. Then listen to the 37-second video for a simple solution.

Discussion about Tattling

 

Tattletale Trouble Maker

With your child, discuss the list below. Ask whether the tattler wants to get help for his sibling or get her in trouble. Then say, "Tell me more."

1. Mom, she ate all the ice cream.
2. Dad, he didn’t help me clean the garage.
3. Mom, her nose won’t stop bleeding.
4. Dad, he scratched your new car on purpose.
5. Mom, he poked his eye with a stick.                                      Which tattle gave a motive for the other sibling’s behavior? Did you need more details about any of the tattles? What tattletale complaints frustrate you in your home? Discuss them too.

 

This Tip Gets Kids Thinking

Best Parenting Tip for Tattles

This short video clip gives parents one excellent parenting tip for dealing with tattletales. Discuss its solution.

Use the solution whenever one of your children tattles. Be consistent. Let me know the outcome.

If you want more in-depth help - How Parents Stop Kids From Tattling on Sibs.

 

How to Help Your Child Reach Goals

Goal setting with pictures fit together like fun and laughter. Both end with feelings of joy and contentment. Yet many grown-ups don’t experience this. They fail to turn their dreams into goals. Don’t let this become your child’s fate. Childhood is the best time to teach your child the tools for setting goals.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” - Anthony Robbins

The Parenting Tip – How to Picture the Goal:

To make her goal visible, teach your child to mentally picture what she sees as she looks outward from herself. Tell her to do this mental picturing as if she is accomplishing her goal right now. Let’s examine this parenting tip further.

The Parenting Strategy – An Example for Picturing the Goal:

If your Katie wants to learn how to dive, pretend you are sharing this conversation:

"Katie, what would you see before you dive off the diving board?"

"I'd see my feet and the water."

"What if you tucked your head in toward your body?"

 

Katie Sees Her Feet and the Water.

"I'd see the water and my feet on the edge of the diving board."

"Picture the water and picture your feet on...

Read More

Find out how your child can reach  goals with pictures. So easy. You'll also receive a gift - How to Turn Your Child's Self-Beliefs from "I Can't" to "I CAN!" You'll find your gift at the bottom of the article.

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/article/210

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Is your tattletale kid driving you crazy? Do you know why your child tattles? Today, we will share 4 big reasons kids snitch, 3 important questions to ask, and simple ways to stop the tattling and keep your sanity.

Some Reasons for Tattling Behavior:

1. Attention
2. Power
3. Revenge
4. Pity

Kids tattle on brothers and sisters because they want your attention and approval. Some children want power over a younger child. Others want to get back at a sibling. Younger kids want your pity and hugs. They all want you to take their side. 

Advice and Answers: What Parents Need to Teach Kids Who Tattle

Children need to know the difference between helping and hurting. Helping siblings who have a serious problem or are in danger needs a parent’s attention. It is not tattling when kids tell parents about danger.

Tattling hurts because its goal is to get a sister or brother in trouble. Tattling prompts parents to yell in frustration. When that happens, the tattling problem does not get solved and bad feelings linger within the family.

Teaching kids to help their siblings and not hurt them has tons of benefits. Children learn to play well together. Laughter and cooperation grow. The family atmosphere is pleasant.

Read More

Find out the 3 important questions parents must ask themselves and 4 typical examples of kids tattling with simple ways to solve each situation.

How Parents Stop Kids from Tattling on 'Sibs.'  

 

Are You Tattling to Help or Hurt?

Read Now:  How Parents Stop Kids from Tattling on 'Sibs.'  

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

Empathy CAN Be Taught

PARENTS CAN TEACH CHILDREN EMPATHY WITH SIMPLE DISCUSSIONS. Today you and your child will find a childhood behavior to discuss, what mindsets to avoid, and 7 easy steps for teaching empathy.  Use it to help your child grow into a caring person who understands others.

Ask your youngster to analyze this situation by asking, “What don’t we know?”

Sarah gave her friend, Jane, a friendly punch. Jane yelled, “Stop it!” and hit Sarah hard.

Ask your child, "What don't we know?"

Hopefully, she answered, “We don’t know why Jane hit Sarah back so hard.”

Many kids might judge Jane and call her names. But that would put Jane on the defensive and make her mad because no one wants to be judged harshly.

Rather than being a critical judge, ask your child to think of some positive reasons why Jane may have hit Sarah. Why positive?

Usually, when someone does something, even if it’s negative,  it’s for a positive reason. We call it the ‘positive intent.’ This is because the doer, (Jane) is getting something positive out of her behavior.

 

What Positive Reasons Do Kids Have for Acting Badly?

Here are some sample reasons:

1. Maybe Sarah told her class a big secret about Jane's family and Jane found out. Now Jane’s breaking off the friendship.

2. Maybe Sarah has given Jane too many friendly punches that have bruised her in the past. Now Jane’s showing her what it feels like to stop Sarah from punching her again.

3. Maybe Jane was ridiculed by her class for a wrong answer and she thought Sarah’s friendly punch was intended to tease her for it. Jane’s hitting tells Sarah her teasing isn’t funny.

Who knows why Jane reacted the way she did? We’re not mind readers. Only Jane really knows. 

But stepping into Jane’s shoes and trying to see the situation from her point of view, your child is on the path to understanding and empathy.

Tell your child, “It’s hard to feel empathy for Jane or anyone else if you’re judging with a mean critical mind.”

 

Your Child CAN Switch Her Critical Judgments  to

Understanding Thoughts

Rather than judge, teach your child to:

1. Switch your critical thoughts to exploring positive reasons why she did what she did.
2. Avoid calling names or making accusations.
3. Ask don't tell. "Why did you...? rather than, "You did it because..."
4. Listen without judgment.
5. Try to see her point of view.
6. Show empathy with understanding comments like, "I can see why you felt that way."
7. Suggest she apologize, if appropriate.

If you do, she just might follow your suggestion. All because you asked, listened and cared.

Another important point, when someone acts poorly and you understand why they did it, doesn't mean you agree with their negative behavior. It does mean you chose to understand it.

Use these steps, whenever your child tells you about another child’s negative behaviors. Your discussions will be interesting, and you’ll be teaching her to be an empathic person with an understanding character.

Watch this 2 minute video with 5 questions to help your child turn from criticism to empathy.

How Parents Teach Empathy to Kids

The Transcript with the 5 Questions is beneath the video at YouTube when you click Show More. 

Bonus Articles with Videos:

7 Ways to Encourage Positive Brain Power in Your Child   

The Positive Child - 18 Top Parenting Tips and Tools 

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 

2 Conversations Can Help Your Kids

Develop Successful Attitudes.

ENVISION YOUR CHILD’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS HELPED BY 9 NEW MOTIVATING IDEAS.  You can plant those ideas with 2 conversations about positive attitudes.

First Conversation - Your Child's Inner Self-Talk

Just like you, children everywhere have conversations in their heads. Their inner conversations can sow seeds of discouragement, “I never do anything right,” or sprout growth, “I love learning new things.” Let's find out how to turn their internal chats into positive mottoes.

Second Conversation - Your Parent/Child Discussions

Talk with your child about the power of positive thinking and the importance about being curious. Let her know that her outlook will greatly determine whether she succeeds or fails. Why? Because the thoughts in her head influence her feelings and become self-fulfilling prophecies. Discuss how she can become a successful thinker  by sharing the 9 self-talk sayings in this parenting gift.

 

It's Never to Early to Talk about Attitudes

Ask your children which saying is best one for repeating often. Better yet see if they can create a self-fulfilling one-liner of their own. Rhymes are easier to remember. Post the one that fits best.

Great posting places include the fridge, a bulletin board, a bedroom door and a bathroom mirror.

 

Posting Positive Attitudes

Become Eye-Candy Reminders

Be sure to save these 9 curiosity mottoes in your 3-hole binder. Revisit them whenever you need to discuss motivation with your child.

Enter Code:  CURIOSITY at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  

Download Your Parenting Gift Now

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Don't Shut Down Your Child's Curiosity!

Curiosity is the key to learning because it makes studying fun and easy. Disinterested kids with negative mindsets think:

1. This is boring.
2. I’ll never use this stuff.
3. Why do I have to learn this?

Dark clouds of pessimism rule their thoughts. Studying is hard for them. Sometimes parents agree with them and increase their negativity, “Yeah, this does look like a waste of time.”

But other parents turn off their kids' curiosity without realizing it.

 

You CAN Avoid These Mistakes

Today’s parenting checklist shares 7 errors not to make. Become an informed parent and help your child become an enthusiastic lifelong learner. Get this bonus now at:

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

and enter the code words:

SHUT DOWN

Copy it to a binder and save it as a reminder.

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Creating and Achieving Goals with Rhymes

that Motivate Kids

POSITIVE RHYMES MOTIVATE KIDS. Repetition recirculates them in their memories and becomes well-traveled paths in their brains. 

I remember a quote from 5th grade when our class was learning about explorers, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." That became a lifelong slogan for me. It helped me motor (although slowly) through many a tough math class.

When a motivating rhyme is catchy and appeals to your child , suggest creating a bookmark, a poster, or a sticky note of it. It might become a well-traveled path and a lifelong motivator too.

In today's one-minute video you and your child will hear 5 rhymes that appeal to the senses. Feel free to tell your child to use his favorite one often. He could also use it as a springboard to creating his own one-line poem.

Want a copy of the 5 rhymes? Just Enter Code - SENSES at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com and it's yours to download.

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child

Can Be Solved!

THINK OF HANDLING STUBBORN CHILDREN LIKE METAL BEADS AND A MAGNET. Your child's stubborn behaviors are the metal beads. Your reactions are the magnet. Each stubborn behavior can cause a swift and powerful clash if you let yourself explode with emotion. This doesn't have to happen.

Consider Using Logic by Asking Yourself 3 Questions:

1. What are the consequences to our relationship if I consistently blow-up?

       When I continually react with anger, his stubbornness hardens even more. Respect dies.

2. What are better ways of reacting to his stubbornness?

         I can use a kind, firm, and self-controlled voice.  With time and repetition, mutual respect could grow.

3. Are there specific ways to be the respectful parent and turn his headstrong behaviors into cooperative ones?

        If you draw a blank, watch our 1 minute video below. You'll find 5 solutions you can start using today.

Please remember, no parent is perfect. We all get over-stressed and lose our tempers. Don't get down on yourself if this happens to you. Just reconfirm your commitment to be a respectful parent.

One more thing, you CAN make the magnetic pull between you and your child into a pleasant and positive relationship.

Click on: Have a Headstrong Child? 5 Solutions

 To subscribe to my YouTube Videos, click on my face at the end of this video. To see my longer video on stubbornness click on the video in the upper left-hand corner.
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Thank you so much.With warm wishes,  

 Jean Tracy, MSS

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