Goal setting with pictures fit together like fun and laughter. Both end with feelings of joy and contentment. Yet many grown-ups don’t experience this. They fail to turn their dreams into goals. Don’t let this become your child’s fate. Childhood is the best time to teach your child the tools for setting goals.
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” - Anthony Robbins
The Parenting Tip – How to Picture the Goal:
To make her goal visible, teach your child to mentally picture what she sees as she looks outward from herself. Tell her to do this mental picturing as if she is accomplishing her goal right now. Let’s examine this parenting tip further.
The Parenting Strategy – An Example for Picturing the Goal:
If your Katie wants to learn how to dive, pretend you are sharing this conversation:
"Katie, what would you see before you dive off the diving board?"
"I'd see my feet and the water."
"What if you tucked your head in toward your body?"
Katie Sees Her Feet and the Water.
"I'd see the water and my feet on the edge of the diving board."
Find out how your child can reach goals with pictures. So easy. You'll also receive a gift - How to Turn Your Child's Self-Beliefs from "I Can't" to "I CAN!" You'll find your gift at the bottom of the article.
It’s not difficult to raise smarter children. But many parents use the wrong tactics. They don’t know praising kids for goods grades and criticizing them for poor grades can backfire.
Why Praise and Criticism Often Fail
Research says many kids want praise so much that they limit themselves to easier tasks. Why? Because they know they’ll succeed. It’s not the way to expand their brain power.
Criticizing kids for poor grades can increase their low self-esteem, fire up their resentment, and convince them to give up.
Kids need to know that their brains grow with deeper thinking, solving problems, studying well. Don’t let them think, “I can’t get it. I’m not smart.”
"You challenged yourself and figured it out!"
How Parents Can Prepare Kids for School
Want to increase your child’s brain power? Today's slide share includes 6 smart attitudes to promote, 6 smart questions to ask, and 6 slogans for motivating kids.
Praising kids for good grades is not as effective as asking the right questions to increase your child’s love of learning. When your children feel good about their thinking skills, see learning as a positive challenge, and develop a determination to keep trying, their brains grow. Use these simple fun solutions for promoting smart brains in your children.
One more thing, these questions can be used for kids sports, music lessons, chores and more.
"I solved a hard problem and my brain got smarter!"
Listening to tattling is like scratching a swollen mosquito bite. If you listen to it over and over, it will get worse. Tattling becomes your child’s habit. Screaming becomes your cure, but only for the moment.
There is a better way. Today we’ll show a video to stop the tattling. You’ll see within the video a father who asks his daughter,
“Are you trying to help or hurt your sister?”
If she’s tattling to get her sister in trouble, he tells her:
“Please try to solve the problem yourself. Then come back and tell me how you solved it.”
Two Parenting Goals for Problem-Solving
To increase problem-solving with your positive attention.
To decrease tattling.
Listening Is the Gift Your Child Wants
The Problem-Solving Gift
Imagine you’re the girl’s father. When she returns to share her solution, listen. Good listening is a hug without words. It is filled with your attention. It is peaceful and loving. It is your gift to her.
How Listening Shows Caring:
Good listening avoids judging or arguing. It really wants to know your child’s thoughts and feelings. If there is something you don’t understand, ask questions after she’s done speaking.
Here is what you might say when your child shares her solution:
Let’s talk about your solution.
What voice did you use and what did you say?
How did it end?
How did you feel after you solved it?
What do you need to do to avoid a conflict next time?
What do you think of your becoming a problem-solver?
Can you guess how proud I am of you?
In the end, you want your child to be able to say, “ You really listened. You really care about how I think.”
Listening is a gift that can be used over and over in many different situations, not just tattling. Why? Because listening with love is what your child wants. It creates a bond with your child and harmony in your home. Yes, it takes more time and it is rewarding. It is a great way to teach problem-solving.
This brief video shares more ways to stop the tattling:
Disaster news is everywhere. TV, newspapers, social media and even billboard reminders are appearing in some places.
Children are home. Parents are home. Everyone is scared.
Today's 3 Practical Parenting Steps:
Review the 9 listening skills.
Learn the drawing technique by using it to calm yourself first.
Teach the drawing technique to your child.
9 Listening Skills Effective Parents Need
Review the following listening tips:
Listen with direct eye contact, a caring smile and both ears.
Ask questions to be sure you understand.
Be patient. Give enough time for your child to form thoughts.
Repeat your child's ideas in your own words. Follow up with, “Is that correct?”
Encourage continued sharing by saying, “Tell me more.”
Walk in your child's shoes. With empathy try to feel what he’s feeling.
Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Listen to the end.
Share your thoughts after your child's finished..
Begin by reflecting feelings. “It sounds like you’re (upset or sad or confused, etc.).”
You Are the Best Counselor for Your Kids
Kids Trust Parents to Help Them
As a counselor for many years, I’ve used the drawing strategy below with children and adults. It works. Why? Because it's a unique way of understanding feelings, especially fears.
When you listen well, teach practical skills and show caring, your child trusts you and feels loved. Love and trust make you the most powerful counselor of all.
9 Ways Parents Can Calm Themselves and Their Children
Drawing Calms Your Kid's Anxiety
Ask your boy or girl to, “Draw a picture of the fear.”
Probe Gently: “What does your picture mean to you?”
Say, “Tell me more,” several times until you hear all the anxious thoughts.
Say, “Draw how you would like to feel.” Then say, “Tell me about your new picture.”
Suggest, “Let's brainstorm what you could do to make your picture come true.” Wait patiently for your child’s ideas first.
Say, “Write down 3 small ways you can make your positive picture come true.
Say, “Pick one little step to try now."
Instruct your child, "Visualize your new picture clearly. Feel it and give it a positive title. Then post it on the fridge." Give your child all the time he or she needs.
Praise your child for calming his fear.
Discuss the second and third small steps in the following days to reinforce over time what has been learned.
Drawing an optimistic picture gives your child power over the fear. By visualizing it, feeling it and giving it a positive title, your child changes his scary mindset. Posting it on the fridge becomes a strong reminder to "stay calm and carry on." Use this technique as often as your child needs.
Consider applying it for any painful emotion your child may experience. You could even use it as a home schooling strategy.
You might like this video because it also reinforces the steps:
How Parents Help Anxious Kids Feel Confident
Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.
Big Bad Bullies are Critical Judges. They mess with your child's mind. Their constant put-downs harm self-esteem and prevent their victims from liking themselves.
Jack Canfield & Miriam Laundry
In this brand new book, Miriam Laundry teams up with Chicken Soup for the Soul Expert, Jack Canfield. Together they share the story of a girl tormented by a big bad bully who haunted her every move.
One day she found the bully in the school bathroom. Did she stand up to the bully? Or did she run away "like a scared little chicken?"
In the end, your child will learn a method for dealing with the big bad bully.
What My 12 Year-Old Granddaughter Thought:
"It tricked me and I thought it was a real girl who was being bullied and I could relate to it. It turned out it was herself and she was her own worst critic. I criticize myself a lot and it turns out nobody is actually paying attention to what I'm insecure about. I'm going to start doing the author's The Positive Mirror Exercise. I think it's going to help me a lot."
Suggestion for Parents:
I suggest you read this beautifully illustrated book with your child. Discuss and practice The Positive Mirror Exercise together. You'll find 5 other exercises for helping her conquer the bully.
Don't let your child's self-esteem prevent her from liking herself. Pick up this book at Amazon.com now. It will make a great birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, or 'just because' present.