Disorganized Kids Need Routines

A disorganized child lacks the inner self-discipline needed for solid learning. A youngster who lives in a chaotic home may feel scattered and have trouble focusing. A daily routine at home can help.

Attention Span – The Boy Who Couldn’t Concentrate

Years before I became a child and family counselor, I taught school. Ricky sat in the back of my second grade class of fifty students. He played with toys, teased kids near him, and day-dreamed. My efforts in the classroom were not enough to focus him. The school lacked important resources like counseling.

In addition, Ricky came from a chaotic home. Breakfast, dinner, family time, chores and a set time for homework didn’t exist. Ricky fended for himself.

His mother said, “I’m tired of mothering.” Ricky was the youngest of several children.

Ricky’s noisy home-life needed a daily schedule because children succeed best with predictable routines. Without them, kids often feel insecure, uncertain, and mentally scattered. 

Disorganized Children - How to Develop a Homework Routine

Help your child focus and succeed in school. You’ll find lot’s of ideas including parenting guidelines for rewards, consequences, and even a contract to help your child become more organized and successful. It's a FREE  slide share. Just click on each slide.

How Parents Help Disorganized Kids Focus and Succeed

 

Organized Kids Focus and Succeed

You may also like these videos:

6 Ways to Help Your Child Concentrate

and

Smart Kids – 6 Intelligent Question for Smart Brains

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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How Parents Can Motivate Kids with Good Questions

It’s not difficult to raise smarter children. But many parents use the wrong tactics. They don’t know praising kids for goods grades and criticizing them for poor grades can backfire.

Why Praise and Criticism Often Fail

Research says many kids want praise so much that they limit themselves to easier tasks. Why? Because they know they’ll succeed. It’s not the way to expand their brain power.

Criticizing kids for poor grades can increase their low self-esteem, fire up their resentment, and convince them to give up.

Kids need to know that their brains grow with deeper thinking, solving problems, studying well. Don’t let them think, “I can’t get it. I’m not smart.”

 

"You challenged yourself and figured it out!"

How Parents Can Prepare Kids for School

Want to increase your child’s brain power? Today's slide share includes 6 smart attitudes to promote, 6 smart questions to ask, and 6 slogans for motivating kids.

Praising kids for good grades is not as effective as asking the right questions to increase your child’s love of learning. When your children feel good about their thinking skills, see learning as a positive challenge, and develop a determination to keep trying, their brains grow. Use these simple fun solutions for promoting smart brains in your children.

One more thing, these questions can be used for kids sports, music lessons, chores and more.

 

"I solved a hard problem and my brain got smarter!"

Click on This Slide Share:

Brain Power for Kids: 6 Powerful Parenting Tips

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/slide-share-detail/Brain-Power-for-Kids:-6-Powerful-Parenting-Tips

You might also like this video: Smart Kids - 6 Intelligent Questions for Smart Brains 

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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ENCOURAGE PERSISTENCE IN YOUR CHILD

Parenting is tough when your impatient child gives up and you're worried about his attitude. How do you turn a losing mindset into patience and determination?

In this brief parenting slideshow you will find 6 mental outlooks to instill in your child. They will help him face life with a love for learning and a strong resolve to keep trying.

5 Parenting Skills for Promoting Brain Power

1. Praise his efforts more than his grades.
2. Praise his strides in keeping focused on his work.
3. Praise the thinking steps he took to solve his problems.
4. Ask questions that help him reflect on how he used his brain.
5. Take the time to listen, smile, and learn how your child really thinks.

When you praise the right attitudes, ask good questions, and show true interest, you'll be boosting your child's brain development.

YOU CAN PROMOTE LEARNING AS A FUN CHALLENGE

Watch this slideshow with it's 14 brief slides. Feel free to copy the short script below the slides. Put it in a binder to use when your child needs a mental boost.

Child Brain Development! 6 Parenting Tips for Motivating Children

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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A boy I counseled had often seen his parents screaming at each other. He acted out  their behavior. The school contacted his mom and dad.

You Can Create a Happier Marriage!

Even though their son yelled at, hit, and hurt other kids on the playground, his dad said, "Boys will be boys!" This his sister started causing similar problems at school. Finally, the parents paid attention. That's when the school contacted me.

The kids did what they saw the parents do. Yet deep inside, they feared their folks would divorce.

If fighting is hurting your marital relationship and your kids are being affected, you CAN change. In today's brief blog video, you'll find 3 miserable marriage traps, 3 questions to ask yourself about each trap, and 3 ways to overcome the trap. You'll also find 4 helpful communication tips for couples.

Watch the video as often as you want. You can even download the script below the video to use the information when you need it.

Go YouTube to watch How Fighting Parents Help Kids Feel Secure

or watch it here:

Please subscribe to Jean Tracy's YouTube Channel and be the first to receive her parenting tips.

Invest in your marriage and pick up:

Solid advice from long-time lovers

5 marriage traps you must escape

1 marriage formula all lovers need

89 low-cost dates for busy parents      

Dating coupons to cut and choose   

21  dating tips to start using now 

You CAN have a happy marriage, secure children, and  a bright future. 

Was this helpful?

Please let me know. Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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This Boy's Tutoring Is Making a Difference!

STORIES RULE, WHEN KIDS RESOLVE TO DO GOOD DEEDS, they follow the message today's parenting expert and author, Miriam Laundry, shares in her new book, I Can Make a Difference."

This book promotes what children need for a healthy character - a caring heart and a thoughtful mind. 

Your Kids Will Love This Storybook Because:

1. It begins in your child's familiar setting - the classroom.

2. The teacher, Mrs. Ruby, gives each child a positive task.

3. The task makes her students think about how they could make a difference.

4. The story gives the reader more than 7 ideas for doing good deeds.

5. The 3-T Formula at the end of the story is perfect for great discussions.

6. This beautifully illustrated book ends with a special pledge every child can take.

Two Suggestions for Using This Book:

First Idea ~

I suggest parents and teachers read it with their elementary age children and pause to ask them:

1. What do you think Alex's teacher wanted her class to learn?

2. In the beginning of the story did you think Alex was kind of selfish? Why?

3. How did Alex's class help him see his good points?

4. Can you name some ways Alex and his classmates made a difference?

5. What good deeds could you do to make a difference?

Second Idea ~

I encourage parents and teachers to ask their children to create a simple list of what they could do to help others. Post those good deeds on the bulletin board or refrigerator as a reminder. At the end of class time, at dinner time, or at bedtime ask, "How did you make a difference today?" This daily practice could create a healthy mindset in your children.

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As I read this book with my grandkids, I asked them the questions and learned special things about each child. They even brainstormed more ideas for making a difference.

Books like Miriam Laundry's will help your children look beyond themselves and show them how to care about others. Because of its terrific message, Miriam's book rules!

Let's THANK Miriam Laundry for making a difference by writing this book. Her story will help your children build a healthy character.

Available at Amazon.com

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Please click on the Comments link below. It will open up for you. I'd love to hear your thoughts or suggestions.

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Friendship Problems and How Teenagers Can Solve Them!

The Difficult Friendship Problem I asked my friend, Annie Fox, to discuss involves suicide. It's a tough subject to talk about but Annie said, "Yes."

I asked Annie because she is launching her new book, The Girls' Q & A Book on Friendship. I loved the format she used in her book and hoped she'd discuss my questions using the same format. She did.

Here Are My 5 Questions:

1. What advice would you give a girl who’s deeply affected by her friend’s recent suicide attempt?

Parents should be open to having conversations with their daughter about her feelings. She may not want to talk, but an encouraging, invitation to talk is important. Parents might say something like this, “We are upset about what happened. And of course, we see that you are too. We need to talk about it, as a family.” Obviously, parents can’t answer the question the girl might be focused on: “Why did she do it?” No one knows why. The friend herself may not exactly know why. And that frustration in not knowing, should acknowledged along with the fear behind this question: “What if she tries to do it again?” 

When Your Child Needs Help

Parents should be on the look-out for signs that their daughter is not bouncing back from this shock. Is she having trouble sleeping? Changing patterns of eating? Less interested in activities that usually give her joy and satisfaction?  Pushing away parents and friends? Shutting down conversation about how she’s feeling and/or acting? If the girl who is “deeply affected” by her friend’s troubled act, does not seem to be showing resilience in a week or so, she may need to speak with a counselor or a therapist. I always encourage parents who are concerned about the emotional well-being of their teens to seek professional help. The school counselor is a good place to start. If needed, he or she can probably provide some recommendations for family therapists in the community.

2. What can the girl do to help herself deal with the shock?

As I said above, the most important way of dealing with the shock is to have a safe place to talk about the shock and the residual feelings/thoughts in as much detail as needed. This is probably best accomplished with the support of a community-based psychologist or a licensed MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist). Choose someone who specializes in working with teens and depression. Not to infer that the girl is “depressed” but a therapist with this kind of experience is well-versed in helping people who are affected by a close friend or family member suffering from depression.

It's Not Your Fault.

3. How can the girl help her friend want to keep living?

That’s a tricky one! A girl, who is so troubled that she would attempt to take her own life, has deep problems that no friend, no matter how compassionate and encouraging, is equipped to handle. It’s important that the girl recognize this, otherwise she’s likely to think it is her job, as a bff, to help her friend want to keep living. And if, heaven forbid, the friend has another downward turn and again attempts suicide (which is often the case, especially with girls) well, some day she is likely to succeed in ending her life. If that happened, it would be an added tragedy for the girl to feel guilty or in any way to blame herself for her friend’s death. 

Hopefully, the friend is getting the ongoing treatment she needs to feel happier and healthier, and to minimize her risk of spiraling down. There are things, though, that the girl can do to help her friend in the aftermath of a suicide attempt. For example, she should continue being the wonderful, caring friend she’s always been. She may also take on the role of a “buffer” to help protect her friend from the comments of others. What often happens in these situations, after a suicide attempt (especially when word gets out) other people may be unkind or insensitive to the girl who attempted to kill herself. That’s not going to make things easy for her at school or online.

Be Caring. Be a Buffer. 

4.  What should the girl say to the kids at school who are curious about it?

It is not the girl’s job to be a spokesperson or a communications director for her friend. For anyone who approaches her for “comment”, the best response would be to say something like this, “She doing better and she doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m sure you can understand. I’m her friend and I respect that. You should respect that too. She just wants to be treated like normal. We can all do that, right?”

5. Is there anything the girl’s family can do for her friend’s family?

Teen suicide is the 3^rd cause of death in US teens (11%), after accidents (48%) and homicides (13%). Yet there is a strong social stigma on suicide plus the inference that  the victim’s parents are somehow to blame. This prevents parents (who are already confused, distraught and feeling isolated) from reaching out for support. It also makes friends and family reluctant to reach out. If the girl’s family is close to the friend’s family, then it would be a kind and compassionate act to pick up the phone and show your support. It may not be the easiest conversation to begin, but you might simply say, “I heard about what happened, and I just want you to know that I care about ____ and I’m thinking about you and your family.” Simple words that could have such a positive effect on the friend’s parents.

Reach Out to the Friend's Family.

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I hope you can see Annie's wisdom in her replies to my questions. You'll find the same thoughtful answers in the 50 questions real girls asked Annie. None of the questions are about suicide but they are about the many social challenges girls face when friends let them down.

Pick Up Annie's Brand New Book: 

The Girls' Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA

Available at: Amazon.com

Let's give SPECIAL THANKS to Annie Fox for answering the tough questions about friendship and suicide.

      Annie Fox

Please click on the Comments link below. It will open up for you. We'd love to hear your thoughts.

 
With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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You've heard the warnings, "Television is bad for your child!"

You work hard while your child watches lots of television. You worry about his brain. Will it be influenced by harmful TV shows? "What can you do? 

Today we'll share some research, 6 parenting tips, and a short YouTube video.

Parenting Advice from Research: 

1. Create consistent rules.

2. Follow routines.

3. Schedule a regular bedtime.

4. Read to children often.

5. Take kids to the library.

6. Teach youngsters their colors, shapes, and alphabet before kindergarten.

7. Avoid TV for children less than 2 years.

By doing the above you'll be setting the stage for raising successful children. But as your kids get older they'll tend to watch more TV. Could it ruin what you've taught?

You don't want your youngsters watching shows that poison their minds. You wish the TV producers would keep bad material off the air. But everyone says it's your responsibility to monitor what your kids watch. Is there anything you can do besides locking your TV in the trunk of your car or taking it to the dump? After all, there are great programs too.

You want your children to play, make friends, and have fun. Such healthy activities boost their brain power. So where does TV fit in?

6 Ways for Your Child to Watch Television and Develop Brain Power:

1. Limit TV time. Say, "Homework and chores first then TV." Encourage playing outside with neighborhood kids too.

2. Choose the programs that enrich their minds. Check the TV guide each week and find entertaining educational programs for them to watch.

3. Discover television shows that help your child with her research project or help excite her passion about saving whales, sharing her allowance with a child in another country, or something else.

4. Mute TV commercials and ask your child, "What do you think will happen next?" In this way you'll be influencing his thoughts.

5. Switch or turn off objectionable shows; the ones that promote violence, disrespect, and sex. Explain to your child why you don't want them to watch the inappropriate material.

6. Ask questions that promote thinking, listen, and then give your opinion. In this way, you'll be promoting your positive values through healthy discussions.

If you'd like 137 more ways to help your child succeed in school and in life, pick up your copy of Parents as Teachers

Available at:

http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kdeb006

You'll receive 137 ideas to help your child succeed from birth to 9 years.

Now for the Short YouTube Video: 6 Best TV Strategies to Help Your Child Succeed

Please click on the Comments link below. It will open up for you. We'd love to hear from you.

 
With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Building Your Daughter's Confidence

Could your daughter be more confident in her abilities, speak up more, and feel good about being a leader? “Yes!” say authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman in their book, The Confidence Code. Both women are top-notch in their fields. One is a political correspondent and the other a news anchor for BBC World News America.

Katty and Claire interviewed successful women and men in politics, arts, sports, and the military to learn truths about women and confidence. Today they’ll share some of what they’ve learned, what beliefs and behaviors females must change, and some actions to encourage in our girls.

How Men and Women Differ in Confidence

In general, men feel more confident than women. While men tend to speak up, share their ideas more freely, ask for raises more often, and expect higher salaries, women don’t. They lack the level of confidence that men possess even if they are smarter and more competent. What’s the problem?

The “Confidence Blacklist” Women Must Change:

Over-thinking
Excessive people pleasing
Fear of speaking up and looking stupid
Ruminating about failures instead of ‘shaking’ them off
Seeing their success as “luck” instead of earned
Over-preparation
Perfectionism

Our authors found from interviewing successful women that they often wrestle with self-doubt. They interviewed male bosses who said that female employees often hesitate to share their good ideas. As a result, males who are less competent but more confident in their abilities, speak up and are rewarded.

The Good News for Girls

Confidence is the key and it can be learned. As parents, you’ll find many things you can do to help your daughter believe in herself and her abilities.

1. The Comfort Zone – Encourage your girl to expand her comfort zone. Praise her for her efforts to make friends, talk with adults, and speak up at meals with the extended family.

2. The Experiment – Urge your child to experiment speaking up in class. Suggest she notice whether her teacher or fellow students follow up on her ideas. If so, discuss her power to influence others. Cheer her on to speak up even more.

3. Thought-Stopping - Teach your daughter to “shake” off her failures. Let her know that over-thinking about mistakes lessens her confidence and holds her back. Ask her to come up with a powerful positive thought. Help her practice switching to it when a failure floods her mind.

Measure your own confidence with the Confidence Quiz. Then follow the suggestions to increase your confidence even more at:  http://theconfidencecode.com/confidence-quiz

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Our Gratitude goes to Katty Kay and Claire Shipman for their in-depth work to bring us information and strategies that help women and girls increase their confidence.

       Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

 The Confidence Code is a powerful book, filled with research, results of interviews, insights, and practical advice for women. The authors also have many suggestions on how to build confidence in your daughters.

Available on Amazon.com

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Are childhood fears a problem in your home? If so, read the signs, causes, and solutions from our parenting skills expert, Dr. Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Today she'll share 5 signs to look for, 3 causes for anxiety, and 3 keys to helping your children. 

5 Signals Your Kids May Be Worrying:

1. Sleep problems – fear of the dark, fear of going to bed, begging to sleep with you.

2. Avoidance behavior – upset about going to school, the doctor, or other situations.

3. Attachment frights – clings to you, won’t let you out of her sight, follows you to be safe.

4. Retreats to younger behaviors – sucking thumb, carrying security blanket, wetting the bed.

5. Bodily symptoms – shaking, crying, whimpering

Dr. Michele also lists others signs of anxiety on page 249. Let’s look at 3 specific anxieties your child may experience.

3 Typical Causes for Childhood Anxiety:

Children lack experience and strategies for dealing with problems. Here are some difficulties that many kids face.

1. Divorce – wondering what will happen to them, fearing parents’ quarrels, feeling abandoned and powerless.

2. Bullies – feeling like an outcast, worrying about the next encounter, fearful about what to do.

3. Violent images – playing scary video games, watching brutal movies, listening to hateful music.

Again, Dr. Michele shares more causes for frightful feelings on page 250.

3 Solutions for Helping Your Child Overcome Fears:

1. To support your child through divorce check in with how he feels, let him know what to expect, and assure him that you love him and he will be okay.

2. To assist her with handling bullies, suggest she stay with a large group, an older child, or a helpful companion. Advise her to talk to an adult she trusts for help. Tell her to stay away from places where the bullies hang out.

3. To help him deal with frightening images that scare him, monitor his video games, screen the movies he wants to see, supervise his music.

Dr. Michele advises you to take your child’s fears seriously, avoid belittling, be supportive, teach relaxation skills, and use ‘baby steps’ when helping your child face his fears.

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You’ll find a wealth of practical ideas for understanding childhood fears and helping your son or daughter deal with them on pages 248-254.

Let's THANK Dr. Michele Borba for her tireless work in helping parents help their children. She is an amazing expert.

Dr. Michele Borba

Pick up The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries.

Available at Amazon.com

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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If you’d like to increase your child’s vocabulary, check out these games from our parenting skills author, Carol Jossel. Carol is an expert learning specialist who’s written a parenting guidebook entitled, Other-Wise and School-Wise. It’s filled with wonderful ideas parents, homeschool parents, and tutors can use to have fun helping kids learn.

Best Word Games for Kids

1. Prefixes like co, anti, and dis come before the root word.

How many words can your family think up using prefixes? Feel free to use the dictionary.

Sample Prefixes

a. Prefix ‘co’ means ‘with.’

   Root word = pilot

   Together = ‘copilot.’

b. Prefix ‘anti’ means ‘against.’

   Root word = modern

   Together = ‘antimodern’

c. Prefix ‘dis’ means ‘not.’

   Root word = interest

   Together = disinterest

Discuss each part and how putting the prefix and root word together mean something different than the root word alone.

2. Sniglets: A sniglet is any word that doesn’t appear in the dictionary but should. Look around the room and see how many sniglets your family can create. They don’t have to be real words. They can be your family’s fun words.

Sample Sniglets:

   a. Blotchslide is slapping the bottom of a catsup bottle to get the rest of the catsup out.  

   b. Brattled is the feeling you get when kids make fun of you.

   c. Doorslinky is the spring piece that prevents the door from banging against the wall.

Have fun building your own family vocabulary with sniglets.

3. Hangman:

Build vocabulary with the old favorite, Hangman. Use the words about a grade higher than your child’s grade. Write the correct words on a piece of paper to post on the fridge. Give a high five every time you hear him use one of the words correctly.

Carol's book has fun chapters on the brain, memory, spelling, and much more.

Carol’s vocabulary games came from page 136 in her creative book:

Other-Wise and Fun-Wise: A Parent Guidebook

Available on Amazon.com

Please support today's author and share your opinions about this blog post. Just click on the View Comments link below. It will open up for you. We'd love to hear from you.

   Type Your Comment!

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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