How Money and Character Go Together

YOUR KIDS WANT MONEY! WILL GIVING YOUR HARD-EARNED CASH MATURE THEM OR HURT THEM?

Today you’ll find the true story about a “Sugar Daddy,” a mother who felt manipulated, and solutions you can start using right now.

You’ll also find my short video below about Money and Character.

Parents, you can give your youngsters money. You don’t need to expect anything in return. But there are consequences. The article for this blog will share 5 signs your kids could be takers.

Or you can choose a different way when your kids demand money. You'll find 3 suggestions for solving money problems with kids in the article too.

First watch the video.

Second read how to resolve the “Sugar Daddy” problem and what to do about the mom who was used by her daughter. In the end you’ll know how to boost family cooperation, take pride in raising hardworking kids, and joy in nurturing children who strive to make a positive difference in the world.

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The Article ~

Get the full story and find out the importance of expectations when your kids want money: 

Cash, Kids, and Character: 5 Problems to Solve

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Pick up the Chore Chart Kit

 
Become your kids' teacher and guide not their slave.

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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This Boy's Tutoring Is Making a Difference!

STORIES RULE, WHEN KIDS RESOLVE TO DO GOOD DEEDS, they follow the message today's parenting expert and author, Miriam Laundry, shares in her new book, I Can Make a Difference."

This book promotes what children need for a healthy character - a caring heart and a thoughtful mind. 

Your Kids Will Love This Storybook Because:

1. It begins in your child's familiar setting - the classroom.

2. The teacher, Mrs. Ruby, gives each child a positive task.

3. The task makes her students think about how they could make a difference.

4. The story gives the reader more than 7 ideas for doing good deeds.

5. The 3-T Formula at the end of the story is perfect for great discussions.

6. This beautifully illustrated book ends with a special pledge every child can take.

Two Suggestions for Using This Book:

First Idea ~

I suggest parents and teachers read it with their elementary age children and pause to ask them:

1. What do you think Alex's teacher wanted her class to learn?

2. In the beginning of the story did you think Alex was kind of selfish? Why?

3. How did Alex's class help him see his good points?

4. Can you name some ways Alex and his classmates made a difference?

5. What good deeds could you do to make a difference?

Second Idea ~

I encourage parents and teachers to ask their children to create a simple list of what they could do to help others. Post those good deeds on the bulletin board or refrigerator as a reminder. At the end of class time, at dinner time, or at bedtime ask, "How did you make a difference today?" This daily practice could create a healthy mindset in your children.

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As I read this book with my grandkids, I asked them the questions and learned special things about each child. They even brainstormed more ideas for making a difference.

Books like Miriam Laundry's will help your children look beyond themselves and show them how to care about others. Because of its terrific message, Miriam's book rules!

Let's THANK Miriam Laundry for making a difference by writing this book. Her story will help your children build a healthy character.

Available at Amazon.com

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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You've heard the warnings, "Television is bad for your child!"

You work hard while your child watches lots of television. You worry about his brain. Will it be influenced by harmful TV shows? "What can you do? 

Today we'll share some research, 6 parenting tips, and a short YouTube video.

Parenting Advice from Research: 

1. Create consistent rules.

2. Follow routines.

3. Schedule a regular bedtime.

4. Read to children often.

5. Take kids to the library.

6. Teach youngsters their colors, shapes, and alphabet before kindergarten.

7. Avoid TV for children less than 2 years.

By doing the above you'll be setting the stage for raising successful children. But as your kids get older they'll tend to watch more TV. Could it ruin what you've taught?

You don't want your youngsters watching shows that poison their minds. You wish the TV producers would keep bad material off the air. But everyone says it's your responsibility to monitor what your kids watch. Is there anything you can do besides locking your TV in the trunk of your car or taking it to the dump? After all, there are great programs too.

You want your children to play, make friends, and have fun. Such healthy activities boost their brain power. So where does TV fit in?

6 Ways for Your Child to Watch Television and Develop Brain Power:

1. Limit TV time. Say, "Homework and chores first then TV." Encourage playing outside with neighborhood kids too.

2. Choose the programs that enrich their minds. Check the TV guide each week and find entertaining educational programs for them to watch.

3. Discover television shows that help your child with her research project or help excite her passion about saving whales, sharing her allowance with a child in another country, or something else.

4. Mute TV commercials and ask your child, "What do you think will happen next?" In this way you'll be influencing his thoughts.

5. Switch or turn off objectionable shows; the ones that promote violence, disrespect, and sex. Explain to your child why you don't want them to watch the inappropriate material.

6. Ask questions that promote thinking, listen, and then give your opinion. In this way, you'll be promoting your positive values through healthy discussions.

If you'd like 137 more ways to help your child succeed in school and in life, pick up your copy of Parents as Teachers

Available at:

http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kdeb006

You'll receive 137 ideas to help your child succeed from birth to 9 years.

Now for the Short YouTube Video: 6 Best TV Strategies to Help Your Child Succeed

Please click on the Comments link below. It will open up for you. We'd love to hear from you.

 
With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Find Out Which Question Relieves Disappointment

If your child feels the pain of disappointment and your advice isn't working, keep reading. Our parenting skills expert, Headmaster Rick Ackerly, who wrote The Genius In Every Child, will share typical situations that cause kids distress, the perfect question to ask, and the best comments to make.

1. Understand the Frustrations Your Child Faces:

Rick Ackerly, a nationally recognized educator, shares the story of Suzy who had a tough time dealing with disappointments. Suzy, a preschooler, often cried when things didn't go her way. When teachers tried to comfort her she'd reply, "I will never feel better" and "My friends will never by my friends again." Suzy's frustrations included:

• Her best friend not sitting with her at lunch
• Classmates choosing games she didn't like
• Kids learning to do things like riding tricycles before she did
• Times when she didn't get a turn to speak

Teachers gave her kind advice, helped her with her tearful feelings, tried to distract her but nothing worked until one teacher asked the perfect question.

2. Ask This Question to Help Your Disappointed Child:

Many counselors know that people have their own answers. The task is to ask the right questions.

When Suzy's teacher asked her, "What can you do to help yourself feel better?" Suzy paused and said,

"I just don't know."

The teacher was quiet and just looked at Suzy. This was a perfect response because Suzy said,

"I can think of some words to say to myself: then I'll feel better." Suzy stopped crying and was quiet for a while.

"What are those words?" asked the wise teacher.

"What comes then goes," answered Suzy.

"What comes then goes," repeated the teacher. "That is so beautiful. Tell me what you mean."

"I mean when I don't like what is happening or what someone is doing, it comes, then it just goes."

The teacher noticed that Suzy's face and body relaxed as if the disappointment had lifted.

Rick shared this with us because Suzy discovered her own answer. Her answer came from within her. He admired her teacher because she led Suzy to it by asking the best question. But that wasn't all the teacher did for Suzy.

3. Make Comments Like This to Help Your Children:

Suzy's teacher said, "Beautiful." Rick says words like beautiful, great, awesome, and amazing touch the soul. If the teacher had said good, excellent, or right they would enter Suzy's brain like an evaluation. This wasn't what the teacher was after. Rick says, "We want the child to feel her own inspirations without judgment."

By asking Suzy to tell her what she meant, the teacher helped Suzy reinforce her own idea that, "What comes then goes." 

Finally, Rick stated, "Discomfort can provide the impetus for learning." It sure did for Suzy. It does for us too. (From pages 132-134)

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Suzy's story reminds us to help children find their answers from within and strengthen them by asking kids to explain their answer further.

Do you think "What comes then goes" came from Suzy's inner genius? Could it help you when dealing with disappointments?

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Let's THANK Rick Ackerly for sharing this story with its helpful ideas.

Pick up The Genius in Every Child and find wonderful ideas for bringing out the best in your children.

Available on Amazon.com

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Should You or the Government Take More Responsibility?

1. “Government failure is hardly new, though President Obama has given it a characteristic new twist: A program’s proven inability to do the things it is supposed to do is now an argument for expanding it.

In our new progressive era, no program can ever end because the only reason government fails is that there wasn’t enough government in the first place . . . There may not be a better illustration of this contradiction between intentions and results than Mr. Obama’s new demand for free, universal preschool.” ~ from a Wall Street Journal editorial

2. “… Children are most likely to succeed in school when pushed by parents who provide stability, help with schooling, and instill an education and work ethic. But for decades now, the American family has been breaking down. Two-fifths of children born in the USA are born to unmarried mothers . . .” ~from a USA Today editorial

3. “The government should not–and cannot–substitute for parents. Stay-at-home moms work, too. Why is it so off-limits for the government to encourage marriage before kids, two-parent households, and a stay-at-home parent as the ideal?

No 3- or 4-year-old needs to be in full-time, all-day preschool. That’s called daycare. Treat the causes of poverty, not the symptoms. Oh, and schooling is not free. We all have to pay for it, which makes it more challenging for those families that are trying to make it on one income.” ~ Vanessa Theurer, USA Today reader

This post appeared first on School Wise Books. Sign up today for Carol's latest news.

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Carol finds tons of education statistics, quotes, and news for us in her blogs and newsletters. Her 3 points today help us think about our culture. Carol brings us what we need to know if we're going to make improvements. I'm grateful for educators, like Carol, because they keep us informed.

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Pick up Other-Wise and School-Wise: A Parent Guidebook. It's filled with expert advice, lessons, and activities to help you as a parent. It is simply wonderful!

 Available at Amazon.com

Let's APPLAUD Carol for the unique role she's chosen to help us educate our children while, at the same time, keeping us up-to-date on what's happening now. She is a tireless worker for schools, children, student teachers, and parents.

Carol Josel

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Honestly Speaking

Parents often feel compelled to step in to ensure our children's success, trying to protect them from failure and a loss of self-esteem. You too? Check off those items that hold true for you and then read on for tips and quotes to keep you on the right path.

1. I sometimes praise my child for the very slightest reason.

2. I have, as least once, called my child's teacher to make excuses for my child's poor showing on a test or assignment.

3. At least once, I've requested that my child be retested to improve a grade.

4. I discourage my child's risk-taking. Why court disaster?

5. I'd do just about anything to help my child feel good about him/herself.

6. I've at least once typed a paper, done an assignment, or helped my child complete a project for a good grade.

7. I don't hesitate to question a teacher if my child has been disciplined. He/she is a good kid and not a behavior problem.

8. I'd consider calling a teacher and refuse to let my child serve detention. If my kid says he/she is blameless, that's enough for me.

9. I believe that teachers should offer extra credit and bonus points to bolster a child's grades.

Scoring:

Checking off more than even one or two of these items suggests that instead of bolstering self-esteem, you may actually be undermining it. Read on to find out why...

Not To Be Avoided!

You know that success is sweet--and it's what we want for our children! Yet, at the same time, we must understand that self-esteem comes from overcoming obstacles, hard work, and, yes, even failure. Protecting our children from consequences undermines effort, independent thinking, and the ability to cope. Here's why... (From pages 57-58)

Quotes for Parents from Experts

. "When we muffle our children in a haze of supportive words and blunt their experience of consequences, we could be making it harder for them to deal with the real world." ~ Melissa Fay Greene

. "I've noticed this trend a lot lately: adults refusing to let children fail at something. It's as if we grown-ups believe that kids are too fragile to handle defeat." ~ Suzanne Sievert

. "Parents get overly involved in the minutiae of their kids' lives, stage-managing successes and robbing kids of the opportunity to learn from their failures." ~ Pat Wingert and Barbara Kantrowitz

. "Help your kids see mistakes and failures as temporary setbacks instead of excuses to quit." ~ Michele Borba, Ed.D.

Reminder: Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times and hit 714 homeruns!!! (From page 58)

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If you failed the quiz, don't worry. Use the expert quotes to remind you that children must experience the pain of failure to know the sweet taste of success.

Carol Josel is the 'Parent's Expert.' As a long-time educator, she understands how parents want to protect their children. She also knows that over-protection won't turn kids from failure to success and self-esteem.

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Pick up Other-Wise and School-Wise: A Parent Guidebook to learn the best ways to help your child succeed.

Available at: Amazon.com

Let's APPLAUD Carol Josel for sharing her wisdom with us. She offers us the opportunity to be the best parents ever.

Carol Josel

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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How Scaffolding Helps Kids Become Independent and Competent

A building is being constructed. When the building is being built, the workers set up a scaffold in order to support its safe construction. Gradually, though, as the construction is finished and the building is more secure, the scaffold is removed.

In much the same way, the job of the teacher or parent-when teaching ANYTHING-is to provide temporary support while simultaneously teaching strategies for learning. So when a child is first learning a skill, the teacher or parent will provide lots of support, but as the child learns, the teacher or parent gradually provides less and less until none is needed and the child is able to do the task independently.

The Scaffolding Process

Through the scaffolding process, parents and teachers give children greater and greater freedom and the latitude to be on their own as they learn the skills needed to function independently.

Riding a Bike-How Parents Teach Through Scaffolding

Probably the clearest example of providing scaffolding is shown through teaching someone how to ride a bike.

1. First, the instructor gives a lot of support-holding the bike steady while running along-side it with hands on both bike and the child to help the child experience the feeling of riding along without training wheels.

2. Gradually, though, the instructor removes some of that support-perhaps the hand from the front is slowly removed while the hand on back of the bike is still held on firmly.

3. Next, though, he loosens his grip on the back. As the rider gains confidence, the instructor completely lets go, but stays close, ready to quickly grab onto and hold the bike and rider if necessary.

4. Gradually, though, he moves further and further away until the rider finally goes off on his or her own. (From pages 40-41)

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The scaffolding metaphor is a clever way to explain how parents guide children to learn new things until they can do them on their own. Then, for the child's sense of independence and competence, the parent steps away.

When counseling with families, I advised parents to stop doing for children what they can do for themselves. I believe the concept of scaffolding helps children learn to take care of themselves and feel good about themselves too.

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Pick up Dr. Donna Volpitta's and Dr. Joel Haber's book, The Resilience Formula: A Guide to Proactive Not Reactive Parenting. You'll find excellent ways to raise resilient, independent, and competent children.

Available at Amazon.com

Let's THANK Dr. Donna Volpitta for her part in creating this important book for parents. When we raise resilient children they become independent competent adults. How wonderful is that?

    Donna Volpitta, PhD

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parent and Teacher with Mutual Contract

If you'd like a contract that puts parents and teachers on the right track for encouraging character, curiosity, and creativity in children, keep reading. Our expert parenting author, Rick Ackerly, is sharing a contract he and a sixth-grade teacher, Susan Porter, came up with years ago. Rick is an educator and speaker with 45 years’ experience working in schools. Let's take a look at that contract.

"Defining the Parent-Teacher Contract:

• .as the teacher, I can and will:
• care for your child and make sure she is safe
• praise him when he deserves it
• be on her case when it's necessary
• encourage him to find his strength and use it
• challenge her to use her weakness to improve it
• show him how to take charge of his learning
• be there for her when she needs extra help
• provide him with a side variety of ideas, subjects, and activities

I Cannot:

• love her as you do
• protect him for disappointment
• make sure she is happy
• make sure he is not bored
• .ensure she has friends
• make sure he gets good grades
• guarantee she will get into a good high school
• give him self-respect or self-confidence or high self-esteem

As the Parent, You Can:

• know your child for who she is
• appreciate your child for who he is, not for who you hope he [all be
• be there to console her when she needs it
• listen to him in such a way that he feels listened to
• in listening, help her fight her own battles
• enjoy him
• delight in her
• have fun with him
• give her unconditional love and trust even when you don't feel it's justified
• believe in him even when your feelings tell you otherwise

You Should Not:

• feel guilty for your child's disappointing achievement or "poor" performance
• feel inadequate that you cannot respond to her every need on short notice
• compare your child to other students
• fight his battles for him"  (from pages 17-18)

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To find out more about when you can do to raise your children with character, curiosity, and creativity pick up Rick Ackerly's amazing book,

The Genius in Every Child: Encouraging Character, Curiosity, and Creativity in Children

Available at Amazon.com

Let's APPLAUD Rick Ackerly for sharing his excellent knowledge as a teacher,
principal, and parent.        

              
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Please share your opinions about this blog post. Just click on the
tiny comment link below. It will open up for you. We want to hear from
you.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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below.

You Can Talk about Values with Your Kids!

If parents fear talking with their kids about right and wrong, they make a big mistake. Our expert blogger and expert author, Michael Sabbeth is both a teacher and a lawyer. He will share his classroom discussions and advice from children that will help you today. The following is from his book, The Good, The Bad, and the Difference: How to Talk with Your Children about Values.

Why Parents Avoid Talking about Right and Wrong with Their Children:

"Speaking to our children about right and wrong should be easy. We parents are more experienced, more educated and generally, more verbal than our children. Wise words should flow to angelic children like warmed honey from a jar. Yet, as Gershwin wrote in 'Porgy and Bess,' it ain't necessarily so. Indeed, many parents look forward to talking about this topic with the enthusiasm the tooth has for the drill."

 Kids Want Parents to Guild Them about Right and Wrong:

"Teaching right from wrong is the foundation for teaching children to live virtuously. I've learned that children are hungry for this guidance. They value it. They want to talk about it. They respect the good that their parents do; helping fix a stranger's flat tire, saving a drowing child, volunteering at a batter women's shelter, and they want to be like them.

How Parents Teach Right from Wrong:

Parents teach right from wrong by their actions, of course, and that is probably the most powerful and effective method of teaching. But they also teach by their words.

For example, Sarah, a first grader in my class in 1990, said, with pride piggy-backing on every word:

"You sit down for dinner with your mom and dad and they teach you what is right."

Max, a fifth grader, eloquently echoed Sarah's words when he told me that he loved "learning how to help humanity."

I asked where his love came from."It comes from my parents," he replied, his unscheming eyes glittering. "My parents talk to me if I've done something wrong or if I've made a mistake and they tell me what is right."

I've never met a parent who didn't want to talk with their children about right and wrong.

One mom's comment is typical: It's my job to raise moral children. It's a matter of pride. It gives me satisfaction to know I am doing a good job. My children reflect upon me." pp. 11-12.

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Let's give, Michael Sabbeth a BIG HAND for sharing the importance of discussing right and wrong with our children. I look forward to blogging more about his advice with you. Helping kids build character and hearing how they think will be a joy. 

His book, The Good, The Bad, and The Difference: How to Talk to Your Children about Values is available at Amazon.com

Connect with Michael Sabbeth and hear him speak at http://kidsethicsbook.com/
    
Sit back, relax, and share your thoughts about this blog post or your suggestions for talking about right and wrong with your kids. Please answer in the comment link below. We want to hear from you.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Building Character, Potential, and Flexable Thinking in Kids

If you'd like to build character in your kids and develop their potential too, keep reading. Our parenting expert, Kendra Delano, has taught children to think flexibly and positively, communicate effectively, overcome adversity, and make great choices throughout her 17 year career as an international educator. Let's listen to her advice.

Top 10 Tips for Developing Character, Potential, and Flexible Thinking:

First ~Teach Your Children to Observe:

Whenever someone enters a new setting, he or she should learn to watch how the people are behaving before making any attempt to interact. Are they having quiet or boisterous conversations? Are there children running around or are most people sitting down? This is the most important element in learning to adapt to a new environment.

Second ~ Venture Out ~ Travel:

You don’t have to leave the country. If you live in the suburbs go into a rural area or the city. Most urban areas have ethnic sections such as China Town, Greek Town, etc. Realize that the first people to approach you are usually in some form of sales and marketing. Quietly walk on. After that soak in every flavor, sound and interaction!

Third ~  Encourage Reading: Children learn vicariously from strong characters. Authors usually plant valuable insights and lessons into their stories. Voracious readers tend to be wise people.

Fourth: Show Children that You Withhold Judgment:

Avoid labeling any person or situation as good or bad. I have an example. A friend’s teenage daughter was telling about a girl with a poor reputation. I asked WHY she thought that girl went with so many different boys. After a pause she replied, “Because her dad left home a long time ago. She doesn’t see him so maybe she needs more attention from boys.” Bingo. Encourage children to understand and think below the surface.

Fifth ~ Never Confuse a Child’s Behavior with Their Worth:

I NEVER use the expression, “You are a bad boy or girl.” It hurts me just to write it. Everyone is valuable and intrinsically good. There are only good people who CHOOSE to behave badly. Behaviors can be modified.

Sixth ~ Encourage Children to Label Their Feelings (develop self-awareness):

Stick to the basic ones: mad, sad, glad, hurt, ashamed, afraid, and lonely.

Seventh ~  Keep a Journal:

In addition to making diary entries have children label the choices they make each day and the outcomes of those choices. Encourage children to find a correlation between the words and behaviors chosen and how their days are unfolding.

Eighth ~ Encourage Children to Consider New Possibilities:

As a teacher I used to read the story of Chicken Little to my first graders. After the story I asked, “How is Chicken Little the same as a child who shouts, “He stole my pencil!?” I asked the children to brainstorm how a pencil could have found its way into a classmate’s desk. They answered that it could have fallen on the floor and been picked up, that it could have rolled over to the desk, that the same brand of pencil could have been purchased by two different students, etc.

Ninth ~ Encourage Children to Problem Solve:

So many well-intentioned parents jump in to solve their children’s problems. Wait. See how resourceful and ingenious your child can be. Remember the person who tried to help a butterfly break out of its cocoon. The butterfly died because it needed to do the work itself!

Tenth ~ Show Your Children That You Sometimes Change Your Mind:

Show them that after considering new information you have changed your position. Wise people take their time in making a decision and are never afraid to admit they were wrong.

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Connect with Kendra and get her book, 'Showtime' at:  www.SameDayDifferentChoices.com

  'Showtime'

Let's give Kendra a GRATEFUL HAND for her outstanding tips. She has the knowledge and the ability to communicate well.

Kendra Delano

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Bonus Article:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

at:  http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/feature_article.asp?fa_id=119

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Parents, it's your turn to take the stage:

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping your kids? Please answer in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my Newsletter at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/ and receive 80 fun activities to play with your kids.

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