Mother and Daughter Discussing Character

Judging character is easy to teach. Coach your child to see how a person acts and hear what she says. Is the other kind, honest, and respectful? Or is she rude, unkind, and dishonest?

Training Your Child to Look for the Good 

Good Character is about being honest and having strong moral values. You can trust an honest person. But a dishonest person signals the red alert, "He lies. I can't trust him." The following questions open your child's eyes to finding good character in others.

Parenting Tip List - How to Ask about Character: 

Consider using these discussions around the kitchen table, in the car, or at bedtime.

1. Reject fault-finding in classmates.

• How can the habit of finding fault in others hurt you?
• How could fault-finding lead to gossip?
• What do you think about gossiping?

 

How Could Gossip Hurt Him?

2. Explore the Qualities of Character:

• How would you describe someone with a weak character?
• What are signs of a good character?
• How would you recognize the good character in others?

   3. Help Your Child Make Friends with Kids of Good Character:

• How can you be friendly?
• How can you have fun?
• How can you be appreciative?

3. Practice Praising a Classmate's Good Character:

 

Girl Enjoying a Compliment

• Pick a classmate to praise.
• What would you say? Let’s practice. 
• Share it with your classmate and tell me what happened.
• Who will you praise next?

Help your child listen to a classmate's words and see how she acts. He'll be assessing the 'content of her character.' It can influence him about who to avoid and who to choose as a friend. 

Guide your child to 'look for the good' in others. He will find it because you opened his eyes to see and his ears to hear.

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Jean Tracy

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Tattletale Frustration

Are your tattletales driving you batty? Do you want the tattling to stop? Check out the 5 discussions below. Then listen to the 37-second video for a simple solution.

Discussion about Tattling

 

Tattletale Trouble Maker

With your child, discuss the list below. Ask whether the tattler wants to get help for his sibling or get her in trouble. Then say, "Tell me more."

1. Mom, she ate all the ice cream.
2. Dad, he didn’t help me clean the garage.
3. Mom, her nose won’t stop bleeding.
4. Dad, he scratched your new car on purpose.
5. Mom, he poked his eye with a stick.                                      Which tattle gave a motive for the other sibling’s behavior? Did you need more details about any of the tattles? What tattletale complaints frustrate you in your home? Discuss them too.

 

This Tip Gets Kids Thinking

Best Parenting Tip for Tattles

This short video clip gives parents one excellent parenting tip for dealing with tattletales. Discuss its solution.

Use the solution whenever one of your children tattles. Be consistent. Let me know the outcome.

If you want more in-depth help - How Parents Stop Kids From Tattling on Sibs.

 

Children CAN learn to control their self-talk.

Lou Tice, speaker, motivator and founder of the Pacific Institute, taught the 3 parts in goal-setting. He said that good goal-setting starts with the thought, then the picture, and then the emotions that go with them. When we put them altogether, they become our self-talk. He said  "Control your self-talk and you control your life."

 

Speaker and

Motivator

Many years ago, I viewed a film in which he taught goal-setting. Immediately, I saw its value. I knew I could teach this technique to adults and children in my counseling practice. The following is an example:

 

I can't.

Fearful Negative Self-Talk

1. The thought - “I can’t give my book report in front of the class.”
2. The picture – the class is making fun of me.
3. The emotion - fear

When we say, see, and sense it altogether and keep recycling it, it becomes our painful reality. As Lou Tice said, “We move toward our pictures (the pictures in our head).

We don’t have to think negatively. We can control our lives with positive self-talk. We can teach our children to set goals with positive self-talk too. But how? I'll show you soon.

Brave Positive Self-Talk

1. The thought - “I am giving my book report with confidence.” (Use “I am” as if it is happening now.)
2. The picture – The class is listening and smiling. (Look at what you would see, not yourself – see your class.)
3. The emotion - confidence.
4. Finally, put the positive thought, picture and emotion all together in one moment and do it each morning and night. This is the way to set goals, be successful and create a happier life.

We can control our destiny by controlling our self-talk. Let’s instruct our minds to create positive pictures with positive self-talk using this simple method.

This video shows you how:

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Set Goal

Is this what you want your child to yell?

"I can't set goals!"

 

Parents, give up resolutions! They don’t work because something is missing. Neither you nor your children can reach your goals without it. Today, I will:

1. Show why resolutions are broken.
2. Apply what a great leader understood.
3. Share a 4 minute video showing you and your children the way to achieve goals.

It’s not that you don’t want to achieve your goals or that you’re not strong enough to make them happen.

5 Reasons Resolutions Are Broken:

1. Losing interest in the goal.
2. Forgetting about the resolution.
3. Breaking the goal once and then giving up.
4. Breaking it for a good reason.
5. Breaking it at a party or because of a teasing friend.

William James, (1842-1910), the founder of American Psychology, stated:

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”

 

William James, 1842-1910

A good resolution includes altering attitudes. Positive attitudes are the foundation for good resolutions. They include clear vision, emotions and the words that describe them.

For example, envision these attitudes:

1. To embrace exercise rather than dread it -

“I am exercising with vim and vigor.”

2. To choose healthy foods over unhealthy foods -

“I am eating delicious fruits and vegetables.”

3. To focus on math rather than give up -

“I am seeing how to problem solve and multiplying with ease.”

4. To become outgoing rather than shy -

“I am smiling and acting friendly at school.”

5. To choose patience over impatience -

 “I am looking at my child with loving eyes.”

 

Resolution: "I am looking at my child with loving eyes."

William James also said:

“It’s our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task that will determine its success.”

Resolutions can be challenging tasks. Otherwise, we wouldn’t need them to improve our lives. Attitudes are the missing piece at the beginning of solid resolutions.

Don’t give up resolutions! They can work.

Today’s simple method gives you and your children an effective way to develop the attitudes to make your goals come true.

Watch this video now:

How Parents Teach Children to Set Smart Goals

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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How Families Conquer Loneliness and Create Hope

Like a ghost, the unseen virus threatens everyone. It isolates kids from their friends. Parents sense the deep loneliness invading their children. They feel it too.

The news exposes violence in the streets. Riots divide us. Can anything bring all peoples together when the pandemic is over?

Today’s post shouts, “Yes!”

 

How Families Connect

In a simple video you will find a cure for loneliness, disconnectedness, and hatred. You’ll find how:

1. Parents can influence children.
2. Adults can expand their comfort zones.
3. Individuals can overcome loneliness.
4. People can learn to connect.
5. Everyone can belong.

The solutions within this video are different. They are not one-sided. Everyone is responsible and it’s easy. It comes down to one word and it doesn’t start with “L.”

Hope: Families Brainstorm Specific Plans

We are about to conquer the virus. Vaccines are multiplying. Hope is in the air. It’s time to plan.

Let this 3 minute  video help you. Then brainstorm what you and your family can do. Start making specific plans and when the time comes, enjoy making friends.

Watch now:

5 Ways Diverse Families Become Friends

https://youtu.be/jSwhNRbTRXQ

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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This Drawing Technique Helps Kids Overcome Fear

The coronavirus scares your child.

“Mom, are we safe?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will we get sick too?”

Disaster news is everywhere. TV, newspapers, social media and even billboard reminders are appearing in some places.

Children are home. Parents are home. Everyone is scared.

Today's 3 Practical Parenting Steps:

1. Review the 9 listening skills.
2. Learn the drawing technique by using it to calm yourself first.
3. Teach the drawing technique to your child. 

9 Listening Skills Effective Parents Need

Review the following listening tips:

1. Listen with direct eye contact, a caring smile and both ears.
2. Ask questions to be sure you understand.
3. Be patient. Give enough time for your child to form thoughts.
4. Repeat your child's ideas in your own words. Follow up with, “Is that correct?”
5. Encourage continued sharing by saying, “Tell me more.”
6. Walk in your child's shoes. With empathy try to feel what he’s feeling.
7. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Listen to the end.
8. Share your thoughts after your child's finished..
9. Begin by reflecting feelings. “It sounds like you’re (upset or sad or confused, etc.).”

You Are the Best Counselor for Your Kids

 

Kids Trust Parents to Help Them

As a counselor for many years, I’ve used the drawing strategy below with children and adults. It works. Why? Because it's a unique way of understanding feelings, especially fears. 

When you listen well, teach practical skills and show caring, your child trusts you and feels loved. Love and trust make you the most powerful counselor of all.

9 Ways Parents Can Calm Themselves and Their Children

1. Ask your boy or girl to, “Draw a picture of the fear.”
2. Probe Gently: “What does your picture mean to you?”
3. Say, “Tell me more,” several times until you hear all the anxious thoughts.
4. Say, “Draw how you would like to feel.” Then say, “Tell me about your new picture.”
5. Suggest, “Let's brainstorm what you could do to make your picture come true.” Wait patiently for your child’s ideas first.
6. Say, “Write down 3 small ways you can make your positive picture come true.
7. Say, “Pick one little step to try now." 
8. Instruct your child, "Visualize your new picture clearly. Feel it and give it a positive title. Then post it on the fridge." Give your child all the time he or she needs.
9.  Praise your child for calming his fear.

Discuss the second and third small steps in the following days to reinforce over time what has been learned.

Drawing an optimistic picture gives your child power over the fear. By visualizing it, feeling it and giving it a positive title, your child changes his scary mindset. Posting it on the fridge becomes a strong reminder to "stay calm and carry on." Use this technique as often as your child needs.

Consider applying it for any painful emotion your child may experience. You could even use it as a home schooling strategy.

You might like this video because it also reinforces the steps:

How Parents Help Anxious Kids Feel Confident

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Does Your Child

Look on the Bright Side?

 

PARENTING HAPPY CHILDREN IS EASIER THAN YOU THINK. Today we've created a new 4-minute YouTube Video with 5 powerful ways to teach your child positive thinking.  They include these simple fun activities. Share them with your children:

1. The Morning Forecast
2. The Gratitude Review 
3. The Family Compliments
4. The Smile Experiment
5. The Bright Side Discussion

Why Is Raising a Positive Thinker Better than Raising a Negative Thinker?

1. Positive children attract friendships. Negative kids repel them.
2. Kids who are positive feel happier.
3. Children with happy mindsets tend to look for positive solutions.
4. Unhappy kids tend to pout and hold onto resentments.
5. Positive kids encourage others.

I bet you can think of even more reasons to raise children with cheerful attitudes.

Now is a great time to introduce these parent/child activities. If you do, your child might make new friends and enjoy this school year more than ever.

Watch this video. Copy the transcript below it. Start using these parenting strategies today.

How Parents Raise Positive Kids – 5 Top Parenting Tips

 

You CAN Raise a Positive Child!

For more parenting tips and tools, I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube Channel .

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parents Can Teach Kids Social Skills

CHILDREN  WITH SOCIAL SKILLS AND CHARISMA AREN'T BORN THAT WAY. To be charismatic takes charm and you can teach it.

We're not talking about popularity, manipulation, or vanity. We're talking about the true inner charm that cares about others. It will help them grow socially too.

If you model charm to your children, they can learn it from you. There are 3 things all people want that come under the Umbrella of Attention. Give those to others and you'll have charisma.

Use Sincere Eyes, Smiles, and Words with:

1. Approval by looking for the good in your children and telling them what you see.
2. Appreciation for the good things they do. "Thank you for..." or "I like the fact that you..."
   
3. Affection using a touch, hug, pat on the back, kind word, kiss, or whatever is appropriate.
   

This is called the Triple A Formula. It is the best way to give what your child and others crave and that is, Attention.

Be a great listener. Hear what your children are saying. See how they're acting. Then try to understand how they're thinking and feeling.

Don't tell. Ask.

"How are you feeling?" Again be a great listener and repeat in your own words what they said. Here's why:

Charismatic listeners help others feel a real connection with them.

You want that with others and, especially, with your children.

Use these 3 tips, Approval, Appreciation, and Affection, as you ask your children the 6 parenting discussion topics in the following YouTube video. They will help your children develop the social skills they need to become the charismatic leaders of tomorrow.

Click on Socially Smart Kids - 6 Parenting Discussions with Children

 

Charismatic Children Lead with Caring

Feel free to copy the discussion topics from the transcript below the video. Please leave me a comment too. I would love to hear from you.

https://youtu.be/__h2YF9Vnzg

What do you think?

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Socially Smart Children Enjoy Friendships!

KIDS NEED FRIENDS! Youngsters who boss, brag, gossip, or are shy prevent the friendships that could help them grow. 

Parents can teach children how to make friends by using fun discussions. But teaching isn’t telling. Teaching is getting kids to think by asking thoughtful questions, listening well, and appreciating their good ideas.

This method helps your child know you care, opens them up to sharing their thoughts, and then listening to your good advice.

No criticism! It will shut your child down.

Today’s parenting video includes 6 meaty discussions to help kids see what goes into making friendships. Use one discussion idea a week. This will help them think more deeply about each topic.

Depending on your family schedule, you can have these chats at dinner, in the car, before bedtime, or whenever is good for everyone.

Think about the discussion idea ahead of time and develop your own friendly conversation questions.

Below the video you will see the script. Feel free to copy the discussion ideas and add them to a binder to use whenever you need them. Enjoy the family bond that comes from wholesome chats like these.

Please listen to this brief YouTube Video now,

Socially Smart Kids - 6 Parenting Discussions with Children at:

 https://youtu.be/__h2YF9Vnzg

Your comment at YouTube  means a lot to me.

 

Enjoy Your Family Bond with Good Discussions!

Please share with your friends and also on your social media sites.

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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FUN DISCUSSIONS WITH KIDS PROMOTE FAMILY UNITY!

Praise or criticism, which motivates kids to do their best? Too much criticism often makes people bitter not better. Research advises us to give 3-6 compliments for every negative comment because kind remarks help lessen the sting from complaints.

If you must disapprove of your child’s behavior, there are 3 rules:

1. Do it privately.
2. Be brief, no lectures.
3. Suggest a positive behavior or solution.

Goal for Giving Praise

You don’t want your child to live for other people’s approval. A nickname for pure approval seekers is "Love Slob."No one wants to hear their child called a "Love Slob."

Your goal in using praise is to increase your child’s inner motivation which means they do their best because that’s their positive self-image. It’s who they know they are.

Use our gift today which includes the poem, “I Caught You Being Good Today,” by downloading, discussing, and getting your children to answer the 7 discussion questions.

If you do, you’ll find out:

1. How criticism feels to your children.
2. Whether they notice each others mistakes more than their good qualities.
3. What would motivate them the most, criticisms or compliments.
4. If they’d like to focus on the good in each other more often.
5. How they’d like to share with each member the good they see.

"You walked the dog around the block."

You’ll also have access to the short video, Confident Kids – A Powerful Parenting Tool.

Pick up your parenting present at: Subscribers' Gifts by inserting the Code Word:

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I suggest you keep this parenting gift in a folder to use whenever you need it.

 Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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