If you're a parent, and you're worried how death touched your teenager, you might see your child walking around in a daze, hurting too much to think, or too shocked and too numb to feel anything at all. Our parenting experts and authors, Drs. Heidi and Gloria Horsley, are sharing some brief thoughts from real teenagers from their book, Teen Grief Relief: Parenting with Understanding, Support, and Guidance. Let's listen as these teenagers speak from their hearts.
1. "I'm really angry at my sister. She jumped off a bridge and killed herself. I don't get it. I went through her room and found her dentist and orthodontist appointments and saw a bunch of things marked on her calendar for the whole rest of the year. Why did she make these plans - if she knew she was going to kill herself?" - Mikiko, 14
2. "I keep asking myself where my big brother is. It's weird - I'm the oldest now. My brother always took all the heat for me. He had to make sure that we got in on time and that the garbage was out and the lawn got mowed. I don't think my mom and dad realized how little I really did.
But now all that stuff is up to me. My little sister doesn't do anything but walk the dog. I really hate being the oldest; it sucks. It isn't working for me at all. I'm a soccer player, not a garbage man.
Besides, my brother is dead, dead, dead. It's like everything is going wrong - and I can't stop it." - Malcolm, 14
3. "Dad was my basketball coach and a great friend. He was the kind of Dad who would cook and tuck us into bed at night. He had us every other weekend and two weeks during the summer. They said he dropped dead of a heart attack in the parking lot of an airport. Nobody saw him until it was too late. Man, I really miss him. - Lance, 17
4. "I now have two brothers and no sister. I really hate the fact that Veronica got a brain tumor. She was so cute, and I loved having a little sister. Being the oldest, she was like a living doll for me. When she was born, Mom let me feed her and let my friends hold her. I even let her come on dates with me sometimes. My boyfriend thought it was a little weird, but I loved it. When she started to cry that her head hurt, I'd have her sit on my lap and read her a story. I miss her so much. I can't wait to get married and have a little girl. I'll definitely name her Veronica." - Miranda, 17
5. "My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer before Christmas. I felt sorry for her when all her hair fell out. We gave her a funny hat for Christmas. She loved it. Six months later she died. I miss her so much." - Brenda, 13
Did you feel tears as you read these? I did too. Talking with your teenager about their thoughts and feelings can help.
Let's APPLAUD both Drs. Heidi and Gloria Horseley for sharing these thoughts and feelings from teens who are grieving.
Their book, Teen Grief Relief, is available at Amazon.
What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping teens deal with grief? Please answer in the comment link below. We want to hear from you.
Jean Tracy, MSS
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