Bully Checklist for Parents – 10 Warning Signs

Girl being bullied
 
Your Child Can Stop Bullying!

 

IF YOU’RE THE PARENT OF A CHILD BULLY OR A BULLY-FOLLOWER AND YOU WANT TO BE SURE, open today’s parenting gift. It includes 10 bullying signs.

Yes, bullying has been around since people existed. Today it is not just calling someone a name. Child bullying includes using power to control another with insults, rumors, hitting, shoving, spitting, and tripping. Bullies reject their targets and ban them from their peer groups. Their intention is to hurt the other.

5 Steps to Changing Child Bullying Behavior:

1.  Acknowledge the truth. If you decide, “Yes, my child is a bully,” you are brave to admit it.

2. Increase your bravery by asking yourself, “Is anyone in my family modeling this behavior?”

3. Ask that member to stop the negative behavior. Remind that person your child is watching.

4. Discuss together better ways to model good behaviors that express your family values.

5. Use today’s bully checklist and chat about it's 10 points with your child.

Indian Boy Thinking SMALL
 
Find Out What Your Child Really Thinks

 

  5 Bully Discussion Tips with Today’s Checklist:

1. Model respectful behavior.

 2. Ask, don’t accuse.

3. Find out what he thinks about bullying.

4. Help him see that helping is better than hurting others.

5. Work together on an anti-bullying slogan for his self-talk. Hang back so most of the slogan is from him. Why?      Because if it’s from him, he’ll be more likely to use it.


Download your parenting gift by inserting code word, BULLYING here:

 

Bully Checklist 

Even if you don't need it now, consider putting it in your parenting binder. You might need it in the future. Then nip bullying in the bud.

 

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Bullying Signs: How Parents Recognize Problems and Create Solutions

Child Comforting SMALL
 
"My Powerful Mind Is Thoughtful and
Kind."

 

WHY DO SOME KIDS BULLY OTHERS? Research says that bullying can give kids a sense of power and prestige. The bully wants to have others think he's important. When he hurts kids, he feels dominant and strong. It's hard for bullies to give up such feelings.

 

Some bullies come from abusive homes and treat others like they have been treated. 

 

Research also says that bullies pick on weak fearful kids. Children who are socially awkward, lack self-control, hyperactive, and don't fit in, become easy targets.

 

How Parents Can Help 

In today's article, How Parents Turn Bullies into Caring Kids, you can help both the bully and the bullied child. You will find:

 

  •  7 signs your child could be a bully-follower
  • 3 questions smart kids should ask about bullies
  • 10 parent and child discussions about bullying
  • 10 anti-bullying slogans for your child's self-talk 

  

Black Boy Non-Bully
 
When I See a Victim, I'll Go and
Assist Him.

 

Why not raise thoughtful children who help the kids who are picked on? Being proud of your children is such a great feeling. You'll be building character too.

 

Click on: How Parents Turn Bullies into Caring Kids 

 

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Bullying and Peer Pressure: Parenting Kids to Choose Empathy + Video

Peer Pressure
How Parents Help Kids Avoid Bullying

 

BULLIES BURN BRIDGES BY WHAT THEY SAY AND DO . They destroy connections like trust, friendship, and future relationships with their victims.

Bullying and Peer Pressure

By seeming powerful, bullies can influence other kids. Some children are afraid to say, “No” to the bully. Others follow because they want to "fit in."

Victims never forget how the bully made them feel nor do they forget who followed the bully’s pressure against them.  Being hurt physically, verbally, and/or emotionally, creates painful memories in the mind of the victim. They always remember. Some take revenge.

How Parents Can Help

Whether you suspect you are raising a bully or a bullied child, you CAN guide your child with good discussions.

Many children lack the experience to be wise about causing painful feelings and the importance of caring about others. You can raise their consciousness.

In today’s video, you will find 10 strategic questions to get your child to think more deeply about bullying, to consider the victim’s feelings, and to build the bridge of empathy.

As a bonus, you’ll also find 5 self-talk mottos to help your child choose caring and empathy over bullying.

Feel free to copy the transcript below the video with both the questions and mottos.

Family Discussions:

Use one question from the video per dinner discussion to find out what your child really thinks about bullying. Hold back from jumping in with your opinions. Listen well. Be sure you understand your child's thoughts before you speak.

Enjoy helping your children think wisely about the problems and pain that bullies cause because you CAN inspire them to choose caring instead.

Watch

 

Bullying – How Parents Help Kids Choose Kindness 

or

https://youtu.be/BnULkHcVE2M

 

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4 Ways to Discuss Bullying and Teach Empathy + Video

GETTING KIDS TO DISCUSS BULLYING helps parents teach empathy.  If you’re

Buster Bully +
Buster Billy Needs Your Child's Advice. Discuss the Video.


like most parents, you don't want your child to purposely hurt others. You don’t want your child labeled, ‘Bully.’

Today, I'll share:

  • 5 reasons it’s hard for bullies to stop
  • 4 ways to discuss bullying with your kids and
  • 6 questions to help your children think about empathy

You’ll find my short YouTube Video below to help with your discussions.

Bullying Is Hard to Stop When a Child Is ~

Click here for the full article on Bullying

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In listening to the video, I suggest you:

  • Stop it when a question is asked
  • Discuss it with your child
  • Listen more than talk

You'll find out if your children are taking on your positive values. If not, be creative. Ask more questions to help them think wisely. Try not to criticize.

When you hear good ideas, give them praise. They'll love your attention and approval. You, in turn, can take pleasure in listening to their developing minds tell you what they really think.

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Here's the video:

Character Building: Teaching Empathy - How Parents and Kids Discuss Bullying

 

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Pick up the Dilemma Discussion Kit

 

Family Conversations Dilemma Kit

Available at KidsDiscuss.com 

It's 51 Discussion Questions will help your family build character and bond together.

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Childhood Fears: 5 Problems, 3 Causes, and 3 Solutions

 Boy crying

How You Can Help Your Child with Fears

Are childhood fears a problem in your home? If so, read the signs, causes, and solutions from our parenting skills expert, Dr. Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Today she'll share 5 signs to look for, 3 causes for anxiety, and 3 keys to helping your children. 

5 Signals Your Kids May Be Worrying:

1. Sleep problems – fear of the dark, fear of going to bed, begging to sleep with you.

2. Avoidance behavior – upset about going to school, the doctor, or other situations.

3. Attachment frights – clings to you, won’t let you out of her sight, follows you to be safe.

4. Retreats to younger behaviors – sucking thumb, carrying security blanket, wetting the bed.

5. Bodily symptoms – shaking, crying, whimpering

Dr. Michele also lists others signs of anxiety on page 249. Let’s look at 3 specific anxieties your child may experience.

3 Typical Causes for Childhood Anxiety:

Children lack experience and strategies for dealing with problems. Here are some difficulties that many kids face.

1. Divorce – wondering what will happen to them, fearing parents’ quarrels, feeling abandoned and powerless.

2. Bullies – feeling like an outcast, worrying about the next encounter, fearful about what to do.

3. Violent images – playing scary video games, watching brutal movies, listening to hateful music.

Again, Dr. Michele shares more causes for frightful feelings on page 250.

3 Solutions for Helping Your Child Overcome Fears:

1. To support your child through divorce check in with how he feels, let him know what to expect, and assure him that you love him and he will be okay.

2. To assist her with handling bullies, suggest she stay with a large group, an older child, or a helpful companion. Advise her to talk to an adult she trusts for help. Tell her to stay away from places where the bullies hang out.

3. To help him deal with frightening images that scare him, monitor his video games, screen the movies he wants to see, supervise his music.

Dr. Michele advises you to take your child’s fears seriously, avoid belittling, be supportive, teach relaxation skills, and use ‘baby steps’ when helping your child face his fears.

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You’ll find a wealth of practical ideas for understanding childhood fears and helping your son or daughter deal with them on pages 248-254.

Let's THANK Dr. Michele Borba for her tireless work in helping parents help their children. She is an amazing expert.

Dr. Michele Borba

Dr. Michele Borba

Pick up The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries.

Cover The Big Book of Parenting Solutions

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Parenting: Teaching Your Child to Be a Buddy Not a Bully

Charmaine Hammond and Toby
Toby, the Pet Therapy Dog, Teaches Kids to Be Buddies

Teaching your young child to be kind is easy when you read and discuss, Toby Says Be a Buddy Not a Bully.  Charmaine Hammond, our parenting skills expert, wrote this charming book about her pet therapy dog, Toby. Today, Charmaine is here to show how Toby teaches a classroom of students how to think about bullying.

Toby's Story about Being Bullied

Some dogs are like some children. They bully other dogs by barking, growling, and stealing their toys. This happened to Toby. The students wanted to know how Toby reacted. His actions showed the kids just what to do if they're bullied.

As Miss Charmaine told Toby's story, the children asked questions, shared their feelings, and gave their advice. Their teacher, Mrs. Johnson, asked, "What can you do if someone hurts your feelings, is mean to you, or is being a bully to someone else?" Before you read their answers, I suggest you get your child to share what he would do.

Toby's Message about Being a Buddy

Toby likes all the kids for who they are, even if their shoes are purple with polka dots. He sends the message that appearances don't matter. It's what in a child's heart that counts.

Toby's Book Promotes Kindness

Miss Charmaine gives the class 'homework.' She asks them to do acts of kindness to friends, parents, and animals before the day is over. You can ask your child to think of specific things he could do to be kind.

Enjoy asking the discussion questions. You'll  find out what your child really thinks about being a bully or a buddy. 

In the end, you'll find Toby's 4 rules to post on your fridge. They'll give your youngster the best ideas for dealing with bullies.

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This excellent book makes a welcome gift for Christmas and birthdays. The colorful pictures will capture your child's imagination and the messages will touch his heart.

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Let's THANK Charmaine Hammond for creating a series about her dog, Toby. Charmaine said it took a lot of training in the beginning before Toby became a pet therapy dog. Once trained, she took him to schools, hospitals, and even libraries to cheer people up when they were unhappy, not feeling well, or needed to learn to be a buddy.

Pick up Toby Says Be a Buddy Not a Bully

Toby  says Be a Buddy

Available at Amazon.com

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Bullying and Young Children: Learning Lessons without Lectures

 Waffles and Pancakes Bullies

A Lesson in Bullying

Afraid your young children might become bullies? Cindy Springsteen, our parenting expert and author of the book Waffles and Pancakes ~ A Lesson in Bullying, is here to help. She knows how to teach lessons without lectures. Let's find out her method.

Many young children respond to animal stories. Cindy created a story about 2 hamsters, Waffles and Pancakes, and Oscar, the guinea pig. The boys who own the two hamsters have trouble figuring out why their pets don't feel well. Since hamsters can't talk, the boys didn't know their feelings were hurt by the cruel words of Oscar.

Cindy's story helps kids feel empathy for the hamsters. When parents read this book to their youngsters and probe with questions, they'll be teaching lessons without lectures.

Parents and teachers can use this animal story to:

. Help kids understand animals have feelings

. Be good to animals

. Help kids realize people have feelings

. Be good to others

. Try to get along with everyone

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I suggest asking your children 3 questions while reading this story:

1. Why did the hamsters look sick?

2. Have you ever felt bad when someone said mean things to you? Tell me about it.

3. What advice do you have for Oscar the bully? Why?

You might even have your children draw a picture of the guinea pig bullying the hamsters. Then have them draw a picture of the 3 pets getting along.

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Let's PRAISE Cindy for helping young children understand feelings and why it's important to be good to both animals and people.

Cindy Springsteen
Cindy Springsteen

Pick up your copy of Waffles and Pancakes ~ A Lesson In Bullying

Waffles and Pancakes ~ Bullying

Available at Amazon.com

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Resilient Kids: How to Teach Confidence Using 4 Practical Parenting Tips

 

Boy feeling fear jpg
Learn Ways to Raise Resilient Kids Here!

To be resilient, your child needs to be confident, evaluate situations well, use his support system, and come up with good strategies. Today our parenting expert and author of the book, The Resilience Formula, Dr. Donna Volpitta, will help us with the first part, building confidence in our children.

 

Confidence and the Self:

Let's say your son's ride home from a party is drunk or your daughter is being bullied. How they think about their own abilities will determine what they do. They both need to feel, think, and look confident in their words and actions.

Will your son speak up and put his safety on the line?

Will his confidence help him find a better way home?

Will your daughter look and sound weak?

Will she look and sound confident?

Resilience shows itself in your child's self-talk, feelings, and actions. Dr. Volpitta gives us 4 parenting tips to teach our children from Tool Kits for Kids:

How Kids Can Appear Confident ~

1. Use direct eye contact when speaking and listening to people.

2. Stand up straight. (Avoid the shoulder slump.)

3. Speak loud enough to be heard and with moderate speed, not too fast or slow.

4. Keep a confident facial expression.

Parents can coach their kids by role-playing situations in front of a mirror.

Dr. Donna says, "Practicing these skills helps kids develop confidence because looking confident projects an image that shows other kids they are not easily shaken, and this increases their social capital."

Repeat Resilient Language:

When kids suffer from the loss of a friendship, a poor grade, or a scratched knee, what they tell themselves is important. Repeating reasonable statements helps them develop a wiser brain. Here are 3 ideas Dr. Donna suggests to teach children to repeat often when things don't go well:

"1. This is a difficult time. It's not difficult forever.

 2. I may feel bad now, but I may feel better later.

 3. My life may not be OK now, but in time, I can find a new way to be OK."

These accurate statements are believable. They give your child a perspective about time, that things can get better. (From pages 54-56)

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Dr. Donna Volpitta has given us practical solutions for helping our children think, feel, and act with confidence. Teaching our kids confidence is a big first step to their becoming resilient. 

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Pick up Dr. Donna Volpitta's book, The Resilience Formula: A Guide to Proactive Not Reactive Parenting and teach your children the resilience formula.

  Cover Donna

Available on Amazon.com

Let's APPLAUD Dr. Volpitta for her excellence in helping parents raise resilient children.

Donna V
Dr. Donna Volpitta

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The Success Story of a Bully, A Principal, His Teacher and Parents

Boy angry
How a Parenting Team Tames a Bully

Richard used bad language, behaved badly in class, and bullied other children. Rick, the principal, held a conference with his parents and teacher. Rick learned that Richard's father feared his son would get kicked out of school like he did when he was young. This insight was the key because Richard picked up on it and acted out his dad's fear.

The conference succeeded because parents, teacher, and principal:

1. Wanted to help Richard.

2. Acted as team and trusted that each member would play their part.

3. Knew each had the power to make a difference but none could separately fix the problem.

4. Shared information openly and honestly.

5. Talked specifically about what they knew without labels or generalizations.

6. Believed they would be making decisions in concert with each other.

7. Understood that success was in Richard's hands.

What Rick, the principal, learned:

1. If a parent is afraid, the child will pick up on it.

2. We must do a little action research on the problem with new behaviors.

3. Together parents, teacher, and principal can create the conditions for changing a child's problem behavior. (From pages 162- 167)

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Rick Ackerly shows how important it is for parents, the teacher, and principal to become a team in helping a troubled child. When they work together, avoid labels, and create the conditions for change, miracles, can happen.

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Pick up Rick's book, The Genius in Every Child: Encouraging Character, Curiosity, and Creativity, in Children.

Cover The Genius
Available at Amazon.com

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Let's THANK Rick Ackerly for sharing his important knowledge as a true leader in the educational field.

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About Bullying: Is Your Preschool Child a Bully?

Boy angry preschool bigstock--9633062
You Can Prevent Your Child from Being a Bully

If your preschooler was in trouble for bullying, what would you do? Our parenting expert and author, Dr. Partridge, is sharing advice from his book, Building Character Skills In The Out-of-Control Child.

To show the importance of his work, here's a statistic from the National Education Association:

"It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students."

Imagine being the parent of a preschool bully and having to attend a parenting meeting with the parents of your child's victims. Dr. Partridge, being the expert, led the discussion. Several parents spoke up telling how their children were "picked on."

Finally, one of the parents of the bullies spoke, "My wife and I are embarrassed - and apologetic, because our son is one of the troublemakers - no doubt about it."

Other parents shared their frustration and discouragement because their youngsters were bullies too. The kids who were bullies at school acted badly at home too.

Dr. Partridge encouraged the parents to give suggestions on how to change the bullying behavior.

Here are some of the parent's suggestions:

1. Sit the bully on a chair in the laundry room facing the dryer and make him stay there.

2. Put the bully to bed early.

3. If he acts badly in the grocery store, leave the cart. Take him home and put him to bed for the rest of the day.

4. Swoop him up and put him some place he doesn't want to be.

One mother told about what didn't work:

"Well, when Jennifer hits her brother, I hold her and tell her it's not the right thing to do, and why - and what she should do since she's older - but it's not working." (From pages 95-96)

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If children aren't disciplined effectively from an early age, they may becoming spoiled, uncaring, and seek the power that bullying gives them. They become a menace at home, in school, and, as they grow, to society.

By getting answers from the parents, Dr. Partridge didn't need to tell them to be stricter  with their children. They knew it. They heard what worked from each other. Brainstorming can be a good place to start when real solutions are described. What would you do if your preschool child was a bully?

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Let's APPRECIATE Dr. Partridge's wisdom in helping parents help themselves and for sharing his ideas in his insightful book.

Dr. Partridge
    Dr. Partridge

Pick up Building Character Skills In The Out-Of-Control Child

Cover Building Character Skills in the Out-of-Control
Available at Amazon.com

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If you'd like an ebook on how to discipline effectively pick up my Discipline Tips for Parents today. The techniques inside will give you what you need to raise respectful children.

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