Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com: Discipline

Become a Fan

If you're a parent and you and you combine truth and optimism, your kids will become people of character. Our parenting expert, Debbie Jansen, is the owner/director of the Family Training Center. Let's read her advice about truth and optimism. Then we'll find out what her children have to say about her methods.

I raised three high energy, extremely creative, and positive adults. At times it seems they are even more positive than I am. In doing research for an article, I asked them to send me a short list of 5 things they appreciated about my parenting.

From a psychological viewpoint I received several answers I didn't expect. My children have all chosen my personal faith background, our home was void of the normal rebellion issues and though there were heated "discussions", I can't remember any yelling, screaming fights. The normal do's and don'ts were in place when they were young, but as they approached teen years we encouraged them to be good researchers as we were on a quest for truth.

Truth about any situation became the goal of discipline and how we lived our lives. I followed all the principles set out in my book - Discipline exposed. I believe that if you logically present information and teach your children to be "seekers of truth" - you will allow them to "pick up your ideas and own them".

If they just follow your rules because they are forced to - you never really touch their heart. The moment they are out of your presence they will ultimately do what they want. Discipline/optimistic attitudes are a result of inner decisions not outward pressure.

*****

Debbie's Truth Method for Raising Optimistic Kids with Character ~

Here is some feedback from her children:

1. "You gave us the reason for your decisions..."

2. "I appreciated that you always supported whatever we wanted to do...

3. "We always had fun. Even in difficult times you helped us find the fun..."

4. "I never felt unloved. You were good at discipline but it never felt harsh or mean..."

5. "Most of all, you allowed us to think for ourselves. You taught us to rationally and logically weigh everything and make the best decision we could..."

6. If you love someone, you want the best for them, and yet, to still offer them the right to choose, even though they might make a different decision than you is very noble..."

*****

From the responses of Debbie's children it is easy to see her style of parenting is appreciated. Let's give a big THANK YOU to Debbie Jansen.

You may connect with Debbie at her website: http://www.family-tracks.blogspot.com/

Bonus Article:

Social Conscience: How to Use Moral Dilemmas Effectively with Kids

http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/feature_article.asp?fa_id=109

Parents, it's your turn to take the stage:

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping your kids be optimistic? Please answer in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

******If you like this blog post, please send it to your social media sites below by clicking on the icons.

Do you discipline your kids when they fight their chores? Or do you tell yourself, "It's easier to do it myself." If so, what are you teaching? The more you do your child's chores, the more your child will fight them.

Let's imagine the 3 children below are yours. See how you react to these parenting problems.

How will you discipline?

Adriana focused on her TV cartoon with wide eyes and open mouth. You call out, "Set the table, Adriana!" She ignores you. Are you going to set it yourself? Or are you going to make Adriana do it? This happens every night. What will you do?
Justin snuck out without cleaning his room. When you saw him outside playing tag, you rushed to his room. You stared at the disaster and felt your heart pound. Angry thoughts swirled in your head. Will you clean it for him? Or will you do something else? If so, what will you do?
Alex hates to walk the dog, "Do I have to?" he whines. He drags his feet. He takes too much time. Your dog has an accident. Should you have walked him? How will you handle this situation?

These common problems happen in many homes. Please comment below with your suggestions.

Look for solutions to these parenting problems and others in our next blog.

To make sure you get these solutions, click on Parenting Skills Blog and receive them in your email.

I also invite you to pick up 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for our free newsletter at www.KidsDiscuss.com