Parenting Gift: 7 Kind Comments Boost Family Harmony

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SHARING COMPLIMENTS PROMOTES FAMILY LOVE!


 If you want to encourage family unity, give genuine praise. Here's a weekly practice that each family member can easily do. Once a week each parent and child puts his name in a small box. Place it in the middle of the dinner table. Each member picks a name and tells what positive behavior they noticed in that person during the past week.

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Put your family's names in a small box.

 

In this parenting gift you will find 7 honest compliments given by each member of a family team. Read them aloud to use as an example of what to say to each other.

Ask your family if they’d like to do this activity once a week. Vote on which day is best for everyone. Then make it a habit.

I suggest you put this family gift idea in a binder to use as a reminder for making your excellent family even greater.

Pick it up by inserting the word:

CATCH

at

Kids Discuss

or

http://kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

 

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Divorce and Parenting: 6 Essential Messages for Your Child

Parents Laughing with Young boy
Storybook with 6 Essential Messages

If divorce is crushing your child, there are 6 essential messages you need him to believe. Our parenting expert and author, Rosalind Sedacca is here to share those messages from her book, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? First she'll tell her story, then the 6 messages, and end with an excerpt from her son.

The Story

Rosalind and her husband were going to divorce. Her biggest fear was how to tell their son and help him deal with all the changes in his life. Changes he didn't want. Rosalind spent a sleepless night of worry. A thought about creating a loving storybook about her son's life filled her mind. That became, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce?

The 6 Essential Messages Children of Divorce Must Hear and Believe

Rosalind thought through what her son must know and this is what she presented to her husband:

1. This is not your fault.

2. You are, and always will be, safe.

3. Mom and Dad will always be your parents.

4. Mom and Dad will always love you.

5. This is about change, not about blame.

6. Things will work out okay. (These 6 essential points are from page 9.)

The next day when Rosalind shared these principles with her husband, he agreed to promote them with their 11-year-old son.

Once Rosalind created the photo storybook, she along with her husband and son began reading about the happy events. They enjoyed the pictures and laughed about the good times. As the story evolved into the present tension then into the discussion about divorce, their son cried and cried. It was painful but it was done.

Their son is a young man now. Below is an excerpt from him.

"More than a decade ago, my mother created a special storybook for me. It was like no other book I had read. My mom, dad and I read it together. This was a storybook about my life, complete with photos of me and my parents. It was filled with memories, love and praise. It told a simple tale of how my mom and dad met, the love that they had for each other, and how, over time, it had changed. It ended with talk of divorce, what it meant to me, and why it was the beginning of change - not the end of my family." (From page 6)

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I admire Rosalind's honesty and creativity in developing this book. She does not hold back on the pain, the tears, and the courage to face the truth with her son. Her creativity gave her boy a storybook of his young life and became the visible truth that he would always be loved by each parent. He also learned that he did not cause the divorce.

This book includes templates for telling children about the divorce ranging in age from 5-10 years and from 10-15 years.

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Let's PRAISE Rosalind for giving parents a loving way to help their kids face the pain and move through the divorce and beyond.

Pick up your copy of  How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce?

Rosalind Sedacca
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Available at Child-Centered Divorce

Sign up for Rosalind's blog at http://www.childcentereddivorce.com/blog/?pg=blog

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Please support today's author and share your opinions about this blog post. Just click on the COMMENTS link below. It will open up for you. We want to hear from you.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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9 Parenting Tips: How Family Meetings Encourage Love and Play!


 Interracial Family
 

     The Family that Plays Together BondsTogether 

If you'd like 9 parenting tips on how family meetings encourage love and play, they're listed below. Find out what you can do to promote your parent-children bond. These tips work. I've used them with my own family.

Parents, the last step in a Family Meeting directs each member to “make the family better” with a positive promise. Each member commits to a specific positive behavior to do for the family within the next week. Please make your promises cost-free.

Sometimes I’d say, “I’ll make spaghetti next Friday.” Sometimes I couldn’t think of what to do. My boys sure could. Here are 9 commitments the boys suggested I make:

9 Playful Family Meeting Promises:

1.  Play hide and seek.

2.  Play a basketball game of “horse.”

3.  Create a treasure hunt.

4.  Play catch.

5.  Play monopoly.

6.  Play a card game.

7.  Bake cookies.

8.  Catch bugs.

9.  Watch a cartoon together.

By promising one of my boys’ suggestions, I knew I was creating a stronger bond with them. Since the suggestions had to be cost-free, the boys weren’t expecting material rewards. They often chose activities that created time together and a feeling of family closeness.

Let Family Meetings make your family better. Besides discussing issues, solving problems, and planning fun events, family meetings end on positive promises.

Why not set up your own family meetings? You’ll find out how they “make the family better,” bond you with your kids, and build character too.

Jean_tracy_white_100x100                 
Jean Tracy, MSS

Pick up my e-book, 33 Family Meetings Kids Love.

 Cover family_meetingsGet started today! Create love, play, and an unbeatable bond with your children.

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Parents, it's your turn to take the microphone:

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for bonding with your kids? Please answer in the comment link below.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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****** If you liked this article, please send it to your social media sites below.

                                                             

 


Family Conversations~No Fail Strategies from Expert Parent

Family conversations, when done well, build character in kids. But how do you stop them from becoming gripe fests? Our parenting expert today is Janet Powell, from Mentor Maestro. She'll tell us how to run effective meetings.

Family Conversations Janet Powell

  Janet Powell

"I believe family meetings are a great way to connect often and in a meaningful way. These are get-togethers where the expectation is that the whole family will attend.

A regular time is set and a democratic discussion follows where everyone has their say. It's not a complaints-fest but a time to share information, make plans, discuss problems, teach values and rejoice in achievements.

Around the dinner table is one place to have a family meeting. Lots of reflective listening will be done by the parents!"

To learn more from Parenting Coach, Janet Powell, visit  www.mentormaestro.com

Jean's Response:

I like Janet's ideas for the family meeting. It's a place to learn life skills for listening, speaking, problem solving, and planning fun events. The family meeting builds character in kids because parents share their values too.

Jean's 3 Essential Rules for Listening at Family Meetings:

1. No interrupting.

2. Look directly at the speaker.

3. Pay attention to what the speaker says.

Jean's 3 Essential Rules for Speaking at Family Meetings:

1. Pick up the discussion where the last speaker left off.

2. Speak with a confident voice and use gestures to show what you mean.

3. Use a timer so you don’t “over-talk” and everyone gets a turn.

 

What Do You Think?

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 21 of the Best Parenting Tips Ever! from parents like yourself.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Jean's Website ~  KidsDiscuss.com


One More Thing:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog in the upper left corner and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

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Interview about Respect and Manners ~ How Parents Teach Kids to Be Polite

Do your kids show respect to others? Or are their manners so bad they embarrass you? Let's find out how to teach kids to be polite from today's expert and my friend, Colleen Holbrook, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Child Mental Health Specialist.
 
"When I think about helping parents raise respectful children I imagine conversations I've had with parents. 
 
Lead by example.  Let your children see you talk to people respectfully, especially when you may be annoyed such as when driving or dissatisfied with the food or service with a restaurant staff person.  Just remember you are always teaching your children by your example.   Here are some manners I consider important:

6 Specific Manners for Teaching Kids Respect and Manners

1. Talk to your children with respect. It's nice for parents to say please, thank you,  and excuse me to their kids.  It becomes normal and it will be how they talk too.

2. Teach them to open and hold doors for others.  This is about being considerate.  If your child is first to the door and there are others behind him, teach him to hold it open. 
 
3. Teach them to give their seat up for the elderly or pregnant women at a bus stop or anywhere where there is a bench or seating.
 
4.  Don't allow your kids to push themselves into crowds in public functions.  Teach them to wait their turn and to say, "Excuse me," whenever they bump into someone.
 
6. Teach them to make eye contact, smile, and say, "hello and good bye.”   Depending on the child's age and personality it may be a victory just to get the hello out.  That's okay.  Again, you lead by example and they will be more comfortable when they need to use this.

When you teach your children manners, expect them to use them.  Manners don't just happen. They take practice and follow through.
 
3 Practical Ways for Teaching Kids to Be Respectful and Polite:
 

 1. Make time to discuss the importance of manners.  Read bedtime books with themes around taking turns, asking instead of talking, and other important skills little kids need to learn.  Make it fun.
 
2. Ask your children to make up their own examples of when they or someone else used or didn't use their manners.  They can draw pictures and make up a story if they like.
 
3. If kids act disrespectfully, respond instantly.  Never allow this bad habit to creep into your relationships with your kids. If someone gets really upset and makes this mistake, there needs to be acknowledgement, an apology, a consequence and forgiveness to move on, but not before the others steps.

Too often parents want to avoid conflict and will "ignore" a disrespectful comment or snip from a child or teen.  Let them know in no uncertain terms what is acceptable and what is not.  Being rude to a parent is most certainly not.
 
Sometimes when siblings have ongoing battles that seem to keep repeating themselves, I will have them role-play what happens typically and then do it another way that includes manners.  This is especially helpful around asking instead of grabbing.

Some families get so busy that they rarely have time to come together.  A weekly family meeting where everyone is expected to attend can remedy the break down in communication that often results when family members get too busy. 

Much has been written about family meetings, but to put it simply it's an opportunity to talk about how all family member are doing.  It's a time to reinforce the family rules and expectations.  I often hear of one sibling getting mad at another for getting into their things.  Addressing this at a family meeting would mean the issue could be solved instead of being ignored and doomed to repeat itself thus creating more family conflict.

Family Meetings can be as casual or as formal as the family wants.  It's an excellent way to build cohesiveness among the members. ~ Colleen Holbrook, LICSW, CMHS http://www.colleenholbrook.com

What about you? What do you think?
 
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Two More Things:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
 

 


Respect ~ A Parenting Interview: How Would Parents Know Their Kids Respect Them?

Most parents can tell if their kids respect them. They can tell from their children's words, attitudes, and actions. I met with Scott and Andrea, the parents of two daughters. I asked them the questions below.

How Would Parents Know Their Kids Respect Them?

1. Parents wouldn't have to repeat their requests. Kids would do what parents ask the first time.

2.  Kids would listen to what parents say without interrupting.

3.  Kids wouldn't raise their voices or be sarcastic to their parents.

4.  Kids would volunteer to help parents.

5.  Kids would perform kind acts at home.

6.  Children would ask for what they want with positive statements instead of whining.

7.  When entering a room, kids would see what needs to be done and do it without being asked.

How Would Kids Know Parents Respect Them?

1. Parents would speak kindly of their children in front of others. No jokes at kids expense!

2. Parents would avoid making their child feel stupid when she isn't good at something.

3. Parents would ask kids for their opinions.

4. At family meetings parents would ask, 'Is there anything I did this past week you wish I had done differently?'

5. At family meetings parents would have each child give compliments to each member.

6. Parents would form the habit of looking for the good in their kids and telling them.

7. Parents would show kids how to get along from their own example.

After the interview, I marveled at how easily these parents came up with great ideas. Good parenting was important to them. Obviously, they gave parenting a lot of thought and consideration.

What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Two more things:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ


The Family Meeting ~ 7 Commitments Your Kids Must Make

 

Parenting Skills Blog shares character, parenting, and family solutions from Jean Tracy, MSS ~ Website ~ www.KidsDiscuss.com

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Would you like your children to be loyal, loving, and helpful? If you knew how, would you teach them to make your family better? Look inside to find out how.

Some people are givers. Some people are takers. The givers make things better. The takers are selfish. To teach your kids to give more and take less your family meetings can help.

Family meetings end with everyone commiting to make the family better in some way. Leisurely sit down with your kids. Discuss how commitments improve the life of the family. Share the 7 commitments below as examples of what you mean. Ask for their ideas too.

7 Commitments Kids Can Make:

  • To make the family better, I will set the table without being told.
  • To make the family better, I will fold my laundry and put it away.
  • To make the family better, I will clean the kitty litter.
  • To make the family better, I will do my homework before I play.
  • To make the family better, I will talk nicely to my brother.
  • To make the family better, I will take turns sharing the TV controller.
  • To make the family better, I will talk respectfully to my parents.
  • Imagine how much better your family could be with family meeting commitments.  Things would run more smoothly. Your kids would give more and take less. Everyone would be strengthening the family.

    At the end of the meeting, write down the all commitments. As reminders, post them where everyone can see. At the beginning of the next meeting review how each member kept their commitments.

    Let us know how you involve your children in making your family stronger and your kids more loyal. Your ideas are valuable. Just click on the comment link below.

    Claim your FREE access to my 80 Fun Activities to Play with Your Kids and my FREE Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

    Pick up my brand new e-book, "33 Family Meetings Kids Love" and raise happy kids who know how to speak with respect. http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/33-family-meetings.asp 

     

     


    The Family Meeting ~ 7 Parenting Committments You Must Make

     

    Parenting Skills Blog shares character, parenting, and family solutions from Jean Tracy, MSS ~ Website ~ www.KidsDiscuss.com

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    Does your family need a boost? Is it moving too fast or in the wrong direction? Inside you'll find 7 parenting commitments that will strengthen your family and give it purpose.

    President Kennedy will always be remembered for, "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country." It inspired the Peace Corps.

    Would you be willing to try a little experiment? If so, see in your mind's eye what would happen if you told your family, "Ask not what your family can do for you but what you can do for your family."

    If you like that picture, at the end of your family meetings, tell your children, "Now is the time to commit to making our family better. This week what you can do for your family?" Of course, you must take the lead. Here are some commitments you might consider.

    7 Commitments Parents Can Make:
    1. To make the family better, I will ask and listen to the best parts of your day.
    2. To make the family better, I will give a compliment to each of you every day.
    3. To make the family better, I will play a board game of your choice.
    4. To make the family better, I will watch your favorite TV program with you.
    5. To make the family better, I will pay a quarter each time I'm caught yelling.
    6. To make the family better, I will say, "I'm sorry, if I put you down."
    7. To make the family better, I will read a story of your choice.

    Listen, you only need to make one commitment a week. Make sure your commitment is something you need to improve and you're willing to do.

    One more thing, write down your commitments along with your kids' and post them on the refrigerator or bulletin board as reminders.

    Finally, review everyone's commitments at the beginning of the next meeting to see how each of you did.

    How do you involve your kids to improve your family? Please share your suggestions. Just click on the comment link below.

     

    Claim your FREE access to my 80 Fun Activities to Play with Your Kids and my FREE Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

    Pick up my brand new e-book, "33 Family Meetings Kids Love" and raise happy kids who know how to speak with respect. http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/33-family-meetings.asp 

     

     


    The Family Meeting ~ 3 Killer Speaking Tips to Teach Your Kids

     

    Parenting Skills Blog shares character, parenting, and family solutions from Jean Tracy, MSS ~ Website ~ www.KidsDiscuss.com

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    Three disruptive behaviors can upset any family meeting. As a kid, I had all three. My grandmother nicknamed me, "Butinski." I've never seen it spelled but it sounds like "But-in-ski."

    I couldn't wait for my mother and grandmother to quit talking. I felt like I was waiting forever. I just had to "but in." Of course, I didn't care for my cranky grandma and she didn't care for my interrupting.

    How about your family, do these 3 behaviors get in the way of your communication?

    3 Speaking Mistakes:

    1.  Do your kids interrupt you?

    Do you interrupt them?

    2.  Do any of your kids talk too much?

    Do you talk too much?

    3.  Do your kids all talk at the same time?

    Do you talk when your kids are speaking?

    If any of the above behaviors interfere with your family communication, your family needs to change. Discuss speaking rules at the next Family Meeting.

    3 Killer Speaking Tips to Teach in Family Meetings:

  • 1. Interrupters have to wait.
  • 2. Only one person gets to speak at a time.
  • 3. To give everyone a turn, the speaker must not over-talk .
  • As the parent, you are the leader. You have the privilege and the responsibility to model good communication, to teach your interrupters and over-talkers to wait their turn, and to make sure your quiet children speak up too.

    Good communication considers the feeling of others. This is unnatural to most kids yet all children can learn. Just think how pleasant the family meetings will become. You'll be teaching your children speaking tools that work. Your children will be learning skills for life. How's that for building character in kids?

    Your Action Step:

    Craft or buy a toy microphone. A kitchen spoon will do. Pass it to the person speaking in your family meetings. Tell the members that only the person with the microphone can speak. Consider making a rule that no one can speak more than 2 minutes at a time. Use a timer.

    Do your kids interrupt, talk too much, or not speak enough? What helpful tips can you share with us? Pleas share your comments on the comment link below.

    Claim your FREE access to my 80 Fun Activities to Play with Your Kids and my FREE Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

    Pick up my brand new e-book, "33 Family Meetings Kids Love" and raise happy kids who know how to speak with respect. http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/33-family-meetings.asp 

     



    How to Hold Powerful Family Meetings Kids Love

    The family meeting core is powerful. It holds the seeds for family growth. Why? Because those seeds insure children, as well as parents, have a voice. Everyone has a say on what to discuss, problems to solve, and fun events to plan.

    Let's See Which Values Those Seeds Produce ~

    1. Respect that makes every member feel important
    2. Skills for listening well and speaking clearly
    3. Connection because members solve problems together
    4. Excitement because members suggest plans for fun events
    5. Education because members learn to work in a loving group
    6. Building character with fun family meetings is powerful. The core ingredient within family meeting is discussions. Discussions give birth to a loving home.

      Here's a Short Discussion List from our eBook, "33 Family Meetings Kids Love"

      1.  Family Fun ~ "Let's Go Fishing!" gets kids involved in planning a fishing trip.

      2.  Family Values ~ "How to Keep Kids Safe from Doorbell Strangers," helps kids discuss safety.

      3.  Family Skills ~ "How to Help Your Kids Discuss Friendship Skills," helps kids learn the art of making friends.

      4.  Family Bedtime Routine ~ "How Kids and Parents Solve Bedtime Battles," teaches kids to share ideas and become part of the solution.

      5. Family Values ~ "How Kids and Parents Discuss Gossip," helps kids discuss the problems with gossiping.

      6. Family Fun, "Create a Family Cookbook," involves kids in choosing their favorite recipes and putting the cookbook together.

      Beware! How to Hold Unpleasant Family Meetings Kids Hate ~

      If you want family meetings kids hate, make them gripe sessions. No one wants to be put down, yelled at, or nagged. Some parents call family meetings to control kids and give them a scolding. No wonder those kids hate family meetings.

      Hold Pleasant Family Meetings Kids Love ~

      From the short list above, kids speak up, give suggestions, plan solutions, and make them happen. Children feel the seeds of their personal power. You can help them grow by planting them in the fertile soil of pleasant family meetings.

      What do you do to make your family meetings pleasant and powerful?

      Blogging about character, parenting, and family solutions ~ Jean Tracy ~ www.KidsDiscuss.com

       

       


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