Character Building from KidsDiscuss.com

How to Bring Out the Genius in Your Child: The Story of Helen

 

Baby Genius - "If I cry, I get fed!"

Bring out the genius in your child! Our expert parenting author, Rick Ackerly, is sharing an excerpt from his remarkable book, The Genius in Every Child. He'll show you what he means. Let's find out.

Put yourself in the position of a child and look at the world from a child's point of view. You are newly born. You have been thrust into the world and have one purpose. You don't name it, because you don't yet have the words, but if you could, you would say something like:

"I am determined to make it in this world, and that means learning how it all works-and I will figure all that or by finding out how I work in it."

To that end you are physiologically driven to learn, and you spend the next five years using the scientific method to know the world and how to operate in it. You develop hypotheses ("If I cry, I get fed." "If I put my arm over my head, I can roll myself over by pushing on the floor with the opposite foot.")

Every day gets more complicated. Notice the sophistication that can be achieved by age three.

 

              "Make Yourself Happy by                   Making Others Happy."

 

The Genius in 3-year-old Helen 

One Sunday I received the following e-mail from three-year-old Helen's father:

"Helen was playing in the sandbox when a brawl between a brother and sister on the other side of the sandbox attracted her attention.

Helen looked up as they knocked each other to the ground, arguing over a shovel. She watched intently for a while, then calmly looked around, found two more shovels, walked over, and handed one to each of the siblings.

The fighting stopped. They handed Helen the shovel they had been fighting over, and all went back to playing happily together. No words were exchanged.

Helen observed a conflict, deciphered the dynamic, figured out a solution, and implemented that solution. She did it on her own and with the utmost confidence. She didn't even look up at me. This is what we want you to do for Helen, (Headmaster Rick Ackerly), and it sure looks like you are doing it."

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If Helen Could Explain Her Genius

Rick Ackerly goes on to tell us that from her 26,280 hours of life, Helen probably made some genius hypotheses like these:

1. "Sometimes people fight because of conflicting interests, and one way to get the fight to stop is to give everyone what they want."

2. "...you make yourself happy by making other people happy." (This excerpt is from pages 24-26)

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Rick Ackerly's whole book is dedicated to the best meaning of genius. Pick up:

The Genius in Every Child: Encouraging Character, Curiosity, and Creativity in Children

Available at Amazon.com

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Let's give a BIG THANK YOU to Rick Ackerly for sharing his excellent information from his forty-five years of experience working in schools.

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Please share your opinions about this blog post and give Rick Ackerly the great big boost he deserves. Just click on the tiny comment link below. It will open up for you. We want to hear from you.

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With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

 

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Why Parents Must Teach Kids How to Win and Lose

 

These Kids Know How to Win and Lose!

Parents are your kids learning to both win and lose graciously? Or do they brag when they win and throw tantrums when they lose? Today our parenting expert, Kat Cole, will tell us why teaching children to be gracious is so important. Below is her article, Teaching Your Child to Lose Graciously.

“The Problem with Losing

Is your child’s primary school just one of the many dotted around the United States that has put an end to any one individual or team winning the annual Sport’s Day, due to the potential of hurting the feelings of any child who took part? Regardless of your answer I am sure that you will agree with me that this is a ridiculous move!

 If children are not exposed to the crushing feelings that are associated with losing in their early years then they are sure to find future disappointments all the more difficult to handle. It is a prominent fact of life that we can’t all get everything that we want; never getting to steal a kiss from the popular girl at the high school prom, failing to secure that promotion and not having a Bentley like the Jones’ next door are all situations that can make one feel like a loser!

 If your child’s school is one of the educational establishments that have banned Sport’s Day winners, fear not for there are still some steps you can take to ensure that your child is emotionally strong enough to handle losing in the future.

Allow Your Child to Lose

Presenting your child with plenty of chances to lose at home is advisable in my opinion. Board games have long been the traditional platform for teaching children about losing, though in this contemporary age videogames – although they have a bad reputation –are also useful for teaching your child to emotionally deal with failure. Just be sure to select games that have an appropriate age certificate attached to them! Be sure to play these videogames with your child occasionally too, for coming second place to a computer and a fellow human being can stir very different emotions!

 There are many parents who will purposely take a dive during a match of Connect 4, Guess Who or Monopoly as to not upset their children but how are their offspring supposed to develop emotionally and/or get better at these games if the challenge is removed and they are automatically victorious?  

 Entering your child into sporting teams can also help them to develop a healthy attitude towards competitive situations. Never force a child to join a sports team however, as this can do far more harm than good.

Encourage Sibling Rivalry

If you happen to have more than one child, do not be afraid of stirring a little rivalry between them every now and again. Competition is important for the development of a well-rounded character and a desire to do well in life. Additionally, losing in the home environment is excellent preparation for being beaten by individuals that are external to the family unit.

Placing your children head-to-head is not suitable for all activities however. For example, pitting a five and eight year old against each other in an at-home spelling test is hardly fair considering the fact that these two children would be at very different stages academically. You would be far better off creating two separate spelling tests which cater to the different age groups and declaring the winner as the person who gets the most correct from the age-specific test.

When catering competitive activities to make them fairer for younger children, you should be sure to explain to the elder child why you are doing so. This stops them from complaining that the contest was “unfair” should they be declared as the losing party.

Teach Your Child to be a Gracious Loser (and Winner!)

I’m sure that during your time on the planet you have come across at least one child who will kick, cry and/or scream upon being told that they have lost a game or contest. Whilst it is important to ensure that your child wants to do their very best in everything that they do, you need to concurrently teach them that winning isn’t everything and that there are lessons to be learnt from every failure in life. Something I like to remind my own children is;

 “All participants are winners accept those that can’t take losing on the chin!”

 We all know that children can become boastful should they be declared the winner of a game or contest. You should therefore teach your children to seek happiness in their successes without showing off (those who continually gloat could find that they become very unpopular in the school yard!) Pointing out any competitions that were “close” to children helps to remind them that the turnout could have easily gone the other way. “

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Let’s applaud our author. Kat is a break time supervisor at her local primary school. She is used to dealing with troublesome children who won’t share playground equipment.

 
          Kat Cole


Please connect with Kat at Playground Equipment

Parents, it's your turn to take the stage:

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping your kids win and lose graciously? Please answer in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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7 Parenting Tips: How Silence Benefits Parents and Kids

If you'd like 7 parenting tips for increasing silence and enjoying your kids more, eNannySource has answers. In their article, 7 Reasons Silence is Important for Kids, they offer the benefits we all can use. Here's their advice:

"Quiet time can be hard to come by in a house full of children, but it is important for your kids’ well being.

Whether the time is spent relaxing and decompressing from an eventful day or focusing on homework, your children should have an uninterrupted block of time worked into their daily routine where they can find complete silence.

Turning off televisions, cell phones and MP3 players should be strictly enforced, and here are some of the reasons why.

First ~ Kids Worry – Though many adults idealize childhood and think of it as a carefree time, for many modern children, this simply isn’t true. The American Psychological Association conducted a survey indicating that children worry about their family’s financial situation and their grades, with older children showing marked stress over issues such as college acceptance and funding. This survey also showed that parents consistently underestimated the stress level of their children by 12-24 percentage points. 

Second ~ Silence Helps Symptoms of ADD/ADHD – In order to properly concentrate on schoolwork, kids with ADD/ADHD need an uncluttered and quiet space to unwind and focus on the work at hand. Outside stimuli can greatly affect your child’s ability to keep their mind on one task; blocking out noise that can distract them and hinder productivity is a must.

Third ~ Silence Encourages Independent Interests – Quiet time is a chance for your child to explore self-contained activities and interests, boosting their independence. In the absence of video games and cartoons, your kids can focus their attention on reading, working on artistic projects or other relaxing hobbies. The ability to entertain themselves with limited outside stimuli will serve them well later in life.

Fourth ~ Silence Improves Sleep Patterns – A child that spends their day being bombarded by over-stimulating noise and activity will often have trouble decompressing before bed without the aid of quiet time. This sleep disruption can affect everything from their mood to their physical health; setting aside a period of winding down before bed can help kids relax  instead of jumping into bed with a racing mind.

Fifth ~ Silence Helps Parents Remain Sane - Your children are affected by your mood and stress level, and you are just as susceptible to the crankiness that comes from constant over-stimulation as they are. While your children are enjoying their quiet time, you’ll have the opportunity to decompress a bit as well; as a result, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the minor crises that crop up throughout the day. Keeping your cool in high-pressure situations will help them to do the same, so everyone wins.

Sixth ~ Silence Helps Family Time – Instituting a policy of “Quiet Time” in your household doesn’t have to mean that everyone retreats to separate rooms to isolate themselves. Spending your quiet time together can be just as relaxing, and it will help you maintain your connections to one another. Younger, excitable children may need the occasional reminder to be calm, but everyone can benefit from peaceful time spent together.

Seventh ~ Silence Helps Older Kids Deal with Younger Ones – Older children can be taxed by the rambunctious behavior of younger siblings, causing them to act out of anger when they’ve been pushed to their breaking point. A period of quiet time can give your older children a much-needed break from the little ones, helping them to treat them better and enjoy interacting with them more as a result.

Conclusion for the Benefits of Silence:

Tailoring your Quiet Time to the needs of your family is essential to success; there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. Working out a schedule and guidelines can be approached as a family, giving your children the chance to give their input as well. They’re more likely to respect a plan they helped to create.

Let's give a big THANK YOU to http://www.eNannySource.com  This blog post is from: http://www.enannysource.com/blog/index.php/2011/12/19/7-reasons-silence-is-important-for-kids/

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 Parents, it's your turn to take the stage:

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for helping your kids to benefit from silence? Please answer in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Sign up for my Newsletter at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/ and receive 80 fun activities to play with your kids.

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Parenting: 10 Solutions When Siblings Fight That Build Character!

Parenting is tough when siblings fight, Babysitters Blog, gives us 10 solutions you might like.

10 Solutions to Constantly Fighting Siblings

Sibling rivalry has been around since the beginning of time, literally. It can stem from jealousy or even just age difference. It is our responsibility as adults to help kids work through their differences, in a calm and respectful manner. Listed below are ten solutions to constantly fighting siblings.

1. Don’t Take Sides. If a child notices an adult taking sides or favoring their sibling, they may start to resent both parties. Remember to be impartial, and look at both sides of the situation.

2. Cooperation. Have the kids do activities that require them to work together, rather than against each other. Focus on cooperative games and not competitive ones.

3. No Whining. Coach the children, and teach them to use a normal tone of voice when asking for something. If they start to whine, even when talking to a sibling, have them start over and ask again. They are much more likely to share with the other sibling, if their tone of voice is not shrieking or demanding.

4. Alone Time. Make sure that each child has an adequate amount of time that they get to spend by themselves. Having a younger sibling that always tags along can get irritating, so make sure that you attempt to provide them time on their own too.

5. One-on–One Time. Not only do kids need to have time to themselves, they also need some one-on-one time with their parents and caregivers. Make sure that you are giving each child some undivided attention on a regular basis.  

6. Negotiate. Negotiating is a valuable skill that will come in handy later in life. Work with the children to learn to share their toys. During the negotiations, have them each express how they feel. This will help the other to see both sides.

7. Hold Them Accountable. Avoid letting the “he started it” to set in, and help them to see that it takes two to have an argument. Show them how their actions are not improving the situation.  

8. Get Them Involved. Start a dialog to help the children see the other person’s point of view. Ask them what they would have done, ask them if what they did was right and ask them how it should have been done differently.

9. Role Play. Once they have figured out how the problem should have been handled, have them act it out. After practicing the right way to handle a situation, they will be better equipped if it comes up again.

10. Set a Better Example. Take some time to think of how you react to stressful situations. Do you fly off the handle and yell or throw things? If so, how can you expect the children to behave differently? We need to be good role models for kids, and lead by example.

The fact is, siblings will not always get along, and it is the job of their caregivers to help ease them through conflicts. Keep a calm head. Try some of the techniques above, and you will be well on your way to teaching them great conflict resolution skills.

A big thank you to Babysitter's Blog at http://www.babysitters.net/blog/10-solutions-to-constantly-fighting-siblings/

Parents, now it's your turn. What are your suggestions for preparing your kids for school success? Please answer in the comment link below.

Warmly,

Jean Tracy, MSS

http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

One more thing,

Pick up Jean's Problem Solver Kit at:

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Teach your children to solve their differences. Enjoy harmony in your home. Get The Problem Solver Kit today!