Is your child selfish? Would you like to turn him from a taker to a giver? If so, our parenting skills expert, Dr. Michele Borba, author of the book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, is here to help. First, she'll share some signs of selfishness, next she'll share a helpful game with questions, and then I'll follow up with some specific ideas you can use today.
It's natural for young children to think about themselves. Care during their early years centers on their needs. Feeding, bathing, loving, training to walk and talk, and playing to help them grow is important. But as they become more competent there is less need for parents to indulge and more need for parents to teach them to think about others. Are there selfish clues in kids that need to change? Certainly!
Signs Your Child Thinks Selfishly
1. Demands his way and usually gets it.
2. Takes what he wants with no appreciation. "Gimmie" is his favorite word.
3. Thinks of himself first and expects favors and privileges.
4. Wants things NOW! He doesn't care if others are inconvenienced. (From page 210)
Some parents want their kids to experience happier childhoods than their own. We understand. They don't realize that pampering children can spoil their lives. Like a rotten apple, people will avoid them. Dr. Michele suggests parents try the following solution:
Teach Caring with the "Step into My Shoes" Game
To help your child move from "me-me-me" actually have her stand in another person's shoes. Let's say a situation arises in which the coddled child pulls his older sister's hair. When emotions die down, have the puller act out the event by stepping into his sister's shoes and answering these questions as if he is his older sister:
1. How do I feel?
2. What would I say?
3. What would I want to have happen instead of what did?
The trick is to help your kid switch roles so that he starts thinking about others instead of just himself. (From page 213.)
Reducing Selfishness and Increasing Selfless Behavior:
1. Be kind but not too kind. Have your child earn what he wants by specific caring behavior. Choose the behavior together.
2. Be firm when you say, "No." (You might need to think a little before making your decision.)
3. Talk about other's hurt feelings by asking your child, "How do you think he felt?"
4. Praise your child's acts of kindness toward you, other kids, or pets. "I like how gently you're petting Rover."
5. Chart specific selfless behavior with stars and post on the fridge.
Turning your child from a taker to a giver doesn't have to be hard. By using the "Step into My Shoes Game," and the 5 other strategies mentioned here, you can raise a caring child with character.
Let's THANK Dr. Michele Borba for her wisdom on this important topic. Try her "Step into My Shoes Game" with your kids and let us know the results.
Pick up your copy of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and feel confident when you follow her advice.
Available at Amazon.com
Sign up for my FREE Parenting Newsletter and receive:
- 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
- 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate
****** If you liked this article, please write a comment and send it to your social media sites below.Click on the icons or Share This right next to the Green Triangle below to open up your social media sites and send. Thank you so much.