The Patience Plan - Don’t Go Crazy When Kids Are Lazy

Don't Get Angry 450
 
You CAN Become a Patient Effective Parent

 

“My kids won’t help. They make me mad. I blow my stack.” Do you feel the same way?

The Patience Plan for Parents

1. Go outside. Breathe fresh air.

    Tell yourself, “I’m breathing patience in and blowing anger out.” Do this until you feel calm.

2. Get rational. Realize your kids are lazy for their own reasons. 

    a.Consider this belief: people do things for positive reasons. Even when they do wrong it’s for reasons that  benefit them.

    It’s the same with kids. Ask yourself, “What are they getting out of not doing their chores?”

    b. Could it be any of these:

  • They might want more playtime with friends or video games.
  • They might want more cell phone time.
  • They might want to relax after an exhausting day at school.

The best way to find out is to ask them. Why? Because we can’t know exactly what anyone is thinking. And that goes for our children too.

 

Latina Mom 450
 
Ask, Don't Tell.

 

  1. Discuss the situation with your kids. Find out what they want. Tell them what you want. Ask them, “How can we both win?” Brainstorm solutions together.

Calm rational parents get more cooperation from their children. Why? Because they take the time to understand their kids. They teach them the concept of “win-win” too.

 

For 9 More Ways to Deal with Lazy Children:

Calm Parent
 
You CAN Handle Lazy Kids with Patience

 Go to: https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 

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Keeping Your Love Alive – 10 Keys for Parents

Valentine Couple 624
How Parents Become Loving Couples

 

CHILDREN WANT THEIR PARENTS TO LOVE EACH OTHER. Parents want the same. But what stops some couples? Here are some possibilities:

  1. Busyness
  2. Distractions
  3. Communication Problems
  4. Disrespect
  5. Money Issues
  6. Lack of Time
  7. Fighting
  8. Stubbornness
  9. Jealously

Should any of the above affect your marriage, things can get better. The 10 keys to a loving marriage come from a unique marriage counselor who thought outside the box.

Icon Key and Heart Locket

Unlocking the Heart to Your
Relationship

 

Some of them surprised me even though they made perfect sense. They came from a era when many women were stay-at-home moms. Perhaps the advice about child care might intrigue you. 

There are suggestions about criticism, decision making, money, compromising situations with the opposite sex, physical affection, and more.

I hope you will find the 10 keys practical, modern, and needed today.

Choose the ones you like. Increase those suggestions in your daily relationship. Then see if, they unlock a happier love life for you and your spouse.

Black Couple Valentines 800

You CAN Create a Loving Marriage 

 

Pick up this gift by inserting the code word,

LOVE

at

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Download your FREE copy now!

 

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Chore Card Tip - Moms Don't Yell nor Kids Rebel

To-Do Chores 624
        
Building Family Teams and Life Skills

Mothers meltdown when they’re stressed, overworked, and exhausted. When  patience flies out the window,  rage stomps through the door. The yelling begins.

  1. “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”
  2. “Who spilled juice all over the floor?”
  3. “Who left their bike in the rain?”
  4. “You kids are so lazy!”
  5. “Get in here and clean this mess up!”

Who can blame frazzled moms? They’re out of patience, energy, and practical solutions. Yelling comes easy and it works when kids jump up to help.

But when rage happens too often, kids get used to it. They stop jumping up. They pout and fume inside. They blame the yeller.

Unless moms solve the problems with a practical plan, rage will stamp out good will and everyone will be angry. Home life becomes miserable.

Problem Solving Plan for Kids' Chores:

Write chores on separate cards for each child to complete before dinner. Lay the cards on the kitchen counter.  You can make chore cards for different days of the week or for regular daily chores. 

To Do Tasks 624
Chore Cards Name Each Child's Task

 

Lined 4" X 6" Chore Cards work well too. They  don't have to be fancy.

Sample Chores for Kids:

  1. Clean sink and counter after snacks.
  2. Do homework.
  3. Make bed.
  4. Put toys away.
  5. Feed animals.

The chores you choose are up to you. Why not involve the kids in creating the list at a family meeting? When kids have input, they're more likely to cooperate.

You may even choose to create a chore card for after dinner cleanup.

  1. Clear table.
  2. Put leftovers away.
  3. Scrape dishes.
  4. Put dishes in dishwasher.
  5. Empty Garbage.

Be Reasonable:

  1. Don't add so many chores that kids can't relax or play. They need both.
  2. Avoid discouraging your child by adding chores that are too difficult.
  3. Let teachers know when their homework load is turning your child's love for learning into hate for school.

Advantages of Chore Cards:

The beauty of Chore Cards is parents don't need to remind kids what to do. Kids just look at the cards and complete the tasks on their own time. 

Chore Cards are an easy way to build a family team and teach kids the skills they need for life. 

Learning Tools You May Like:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

Chore Chart Kit

 

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4 Careless Behaviors that Trigger Anger in Moms – Solutions Included

Anger Triggers
 
Overworked Moms Lose Their Tempers.

 

Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.

Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”

Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.

Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”

Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.

Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”

The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.

They’ve heard it all before.

Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.

4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:

  1. Messy kids' bedrooms
  2. Dirty dishes in sink
  3. Filthy floor
  4. Loud video games

Exhausted Moms and Guilt

 “This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”

 

Bigstock-happy-indian-family-outdoors-l-67083247
 
This was my dream of raising kids

What to Do?

  1. Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
  2. Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
  3. Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
  4. Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.

What to Include in the Family Meeting:

  1. Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
  2. Avoid making it a complaint session.
  3. Start with compliments for all.
  4. Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
  5. Write down solutions from each member.
  6. Group picks the best solutions.
  7. Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
  8. Post the commitments on the fridge.
  9. End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.

Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.

Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:

Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.

Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.

Related Video:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

 

 

You might also like:

33 Family Meetings Kids Love

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/product/kdeb003

 

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Printable Holiday Coupons Your Children Can Give as Gifts - A Freebie

Coupon Character Xmas 449

 

PARENTS, NOW YOUR CHILD CAN GIVE LOVING HOLIDAY GIFTS WITH NO-COST COUPONS.

Today’s parenting giveaway is a set of gift-giving coupons for kids. Your youngster can give them to whomever he or she wishes.

3 Rules for Caring Coupons - Your Child Must:

  1. Be able to do them.
  2. Promise to do them within a time limit.
  3. Give something the receiver would like.

Who Will Receive Your Child’s Gift Awards?

It’s up to your child and here are 5 possibilities:

  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Grandparents
  • Relatives
  • Friends

These Gift Certificates Can Include:

  1. Work coupons
  2. Fun activities
  3. Caring compliments etc.

Brainstorm with your child what kind of specific awards to give like helpful chores, games to play together, or a list of loving compliments.

Work Coupons Can Include:

  • Fold laundry
  • Fix a dinner salad
  • Weed a flower bed

Fun Activities Can Include:

  • Play a board game together
  • Create a treasure hunt
  • Bake cookies

Loving Words Can include:

  • Drawing a picture of the receiver. Then add loving words in the title. 
  • Writing out 5 loving compliments about the receiver.
  • Asking the receiver to tell her 3 stories about the recipient's childhood. This could include coupons for Mom, Dad, Grandma, or Grandpa.

 

Coupon Character Xmas Girl 450

 

To receive your coupons, go to www.KidsDiscuss.com and insert the code word: 

Presents

Then Download and Copy as Many Coupons as You Like.

 

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Helping Children Overcome Shyness and Make Friends

Passive Girl 800
 
Don't Let Your Bashful Child Be Lonely!

 

Timid kids feel pain. Parents watch and suffer. Loneliness wins.

Imagine your child sitting alone in the lunchroom thinking,

“No one will sit with me. Nobody likes me.”

What does she feel? Does she rush to the bathroom and hide until classes start again?

Bashful kids don’t have to be friendless. You can help. There is a 3-part blueprint that works.

Go slow. Keep the steps small. Why? Because shy kids are overwhelmed by fearful thoughts and feelings. Big leaps don’t work.

3 Don’ts for Overcoming Shyness

  1. Don’t speak up for your children because they’ll lose the chance to speak up for themselves.
  2. Don’t make excuses for your children because they’ll rely on those excuses and not try.
  3. Don’t put your children down for being shy because your comments will add to their misery.

3 Do’s for Helping Shy Kids Make Friends

  1. Do ask if they’d like to make friends because you want to know if they’ll cooperate.
  2. Do ask, “What stops you from making friends?" because the answer is important and will help you guide them with the blueprint.
  3. Do tell them that making friends is a skill they can learn because it will give them the hope they need.

 

Timid Girls and Boys 800
 
A Few Friends Can Make a Big Difference.

 

Shy kids need your patience because impatience shuts them down. Remember, even tiny steps require taking risks. Your children may never become an outgoing extrovert or big talker. But, with your help, they can overcome loneliness and satisfy their need for a few close friends.   

 

Pick up the Blueprint by inserting the code, SPEAK UP at:

KidsDiscuss.com

Or

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

You may also like my kindle book for kids with stories and 75 real tips for creating friendships at: Amazon.com

Jean Tracy Friendship 800
 
Friendships Bring Happiness to Kids

 

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The Assertive Child - 5 Role-Plays for Your Dinner Discussions

Girl and Boy Smiling 450
 
How Do Assertive Children Express Themselves?

ARE ASSERTIVE KIDS AGGRESSIVE? Do they dominate conversations or do they speak-up with respect?

An assertive child learns to express himself respectfully because he shares the microphone. He speaks and listens. But what if he needs to defend himself against aggression?

In today’s gift you’ll learn the assertive formula. It includes 3 parts:

  1. Describe what offends you.  
  2. State your feeling.
  3. Suggest a solution.

When you use the formula, respectful communication grows. Teach it during dinner discussions. If you do, they’ll become the teaching moments all kids need.

Assertive Kids 450

In this gift your kids will role-play:  

  1. How Jimmy could respond to Lola when she rolls her eyes.
  2. How one brother shares his frustration when Bobby hogs the ice cream.
  3. How Suzy asks Tammy to quit messing up her room.
  4. How an older sister orders John to quit telling her secrets to his friends.
  5. How Mary tells Sara what she wants her to say instead of cussing.

It is important that children have a simple respectful blueprint for expressing their upsets.

As the parent, use the formula yourself whenever appropriate. Post it on the fridge. Point to it when kids fight. Tell them to cool down. Later, tell them to replay their argument using the formula.

Download the formula now at www.KidsDiscuss.com using the code word:

DISCUSS

Add it to your 3-hole binder to use whenever you need it.

You might also like: How Parents Teach Assertive Skills to Kids

 

 

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Parenting the Aggressive Entitled Child to Think Realistically

Boy Crown 800
 
You Can Raise a Kinder Reasonable Child

The entitled child believes everything should go his way. He acts like he’s the king of the universe. Justin was such a boy.

Whenever Justin’s younger brother, Seth, wouldn’t play Justin’s video games with him, he’d punch Seth and yell, “I hate you!” When his mom scolded Justin, he’d sass back, “You always take Seth’s side,” then slam his bedroom door.

If Justin was your son, would you want to hit him? Would you yell, “I’m sick and tired of your angry behavior!” and preach the same old lecture?

Consider having a conversation with Justin when both of you are calm.

Respectful Boy Justin 800
 
Teaching the Entitled Child How to Be Realistic

 

Use yourself as an example. It might go something like this:

Mom: Remember when I arranged a birthday party for Grandpa?

Justin: Yah.

Mom: I was frustrated because only three of our family members came. I really felt mad inside. I wanted to tell those who didn’t come what I thought of them.

Justin: Did you?

Mom: No, because I remembered something Grandpa taught me as a child. He’d say,  “Sally, you’re not the Queen of the Universe. Things don’t have to go your way.”

Justin: How did that help you?

Mom: Can you guess?

Justin: No.

Mom: Because if I was the queen, I could make everybody do what I want.

Justin: But you’re not the queen so you couldn't force everyone to come to Grandpa's party.

Mom: That’s right. How might that thought help you?

Justin: I’m not the King of the Universe so things don't have to go my way either.

Mom: Right. What about Seth not playing your video games?

Justin: Yah.

Mom: How can we remind ourselves that we’re not the king or queen of the universe?

Justin: Let’s make 2 signs that say, “I’m Not the King,” and “I’m Not the Queen” and post them on the fridge.

Mom: And every time we stop ourselves from losing our tempers let’s make a tally mark on our signs.

Conclusion for Helping Entitled Kids Become Reasonable

Entitled kids need to know that life isn’t fair, doesn’t cater to what they want, and can be disappointing at times. You can teach them with reasonable self-talk how to be more rational about life. None of us is the king or queen of the universe. Things often don't go our way. Sometimes we need to be patient and accept that fact. And sometimes it becomes a challenge to creatively overcome the problem.

As the parent, you are the best one to teach him this lesson by being reasonable yourself and having good discussions with him. Start with a true story about when you were angry and irrational. He won't feel like you're pointing a finger at him and he'll like spending private time with you.

A Gift for You:

Reasonable Child 800

Pick Up:

 10 Ways Successful Parents Handle Their Aggressive Child

Insert the code word: AGGRESSIVE and download your gift.

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com 

 

You might also like this brief YouTube video with it's simple technique to teach your child:

How Parents and Kids Discuss Emotions

 

 

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How to Stop the Big Bad Bully from Hurting Your Child

Miriam Laundry Bully 450
 
Don't Let the Big Bad Bully
Torment Your Child

Big Bad Bullies are Critical Judges. They mess with your child's mind. Their constant put-downs harm self-esteem and prevent their victims from liking themselves. 

 

Miriam Laundry Jack C
 
Jack Canfield & Miriam Laundry

 

In this brand new book, Miriam Laundry teams up with Chicken Soup for the Soul Expert, Jack Canfield. Together they share the story of a girl tormented by a big bad bully who haunted her every move.

One day she found the bully in the school bathroom. Did she stand up to the bully? Or did she run away "like a scared little chicken?" 

In the end, your child will learn a method for dealing with the big bad bully. 

What My 12 Year-Old Granddaughter Thought:

Allyssa 12 Years (2)
 
Allyssa

 

"It tricked me and I thought it was a real girl who was being bullied and I could relate to it. It turned out it was herself and she was her own worst critic. I criticize myself a lot and it turns out nobody is actually paying attention to what I'm insecure about. I'm going to start doing the author's The Positive Mirror Exercise. I think it's going to help me a lot."

Suggestion for Parents:

I suggest you read this beautifully illustrated book with your child. Discuss  and practice The Positive Mirror Exercise together. You'll find 5 other exercises for helping her conquer the bully.  

Don't let your child's self-esteem prevent her from liking herself. Pick up this book at Amazon.com now. It will make a great birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, or 'just because' present.

The Big Bad Bully

https://www.amazon.com/Big-Bad-Bully-Jack-Canfield/dp/0757323081

 

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The Assertive Child - How Parents Empower Kids

Aggressive boy  2 450

 
The Aggressive Child Lacks Friends
 

 

Aggressive kids, like Joey aren't liked. He hated waiting in line at the water fountain. He'd shove the kids lined up ahead of him. They'd fall forward like dominoes. The first child always hit his face while drinking. Joey laughed. I visited his parents and had a glimpse into Joey's life at home. 

The father put his wife down several times during our conversation. She looked straight into my eyes but said nothing. Tears ran down her face.

When parents model meanness, children pick it up. Joey was mean. He didn't know how to relate to others.

I found out that Joey's dad was too busy to spend time with Joey. Joey didn't feel important. He didn't feel love from his dad. As we ended the meeting, Joey's father promised to spend time with him. He and his wife decided to work on their relationship too.

 

Asian Boy Smiling (2) 800

 
Parents Must Model How Children Can Assert Themselves
 

Teaching children how to assert themselves, speak up with respect, and be friendly starts at home. Parents must model how to communicate well. If they don't know how, they can learn. The following article will show how.

 Assertive Children  - How Parents Raise Great Communicators

You'll find:

1. An empowering formula for teaching kids assertiveness skills

2. 5 assertive role-plays to practice at the dinner table

3. A fun family activity 

4. An assertive poem for kids

How Joey Became Assertive

Joey told me with a big smile that his dad playfully put shaving cream on his face and let him shave it off with an empty razor. It made a real difference. Joey, over a matter of weeks, stopped shoving kids and started making friends. A greater respect developed between Joey's parents. Soon they were ready to learn the Assertiveness Formula within this article:

Assertive Children  - How Parents Raise Great Communicators

Father and Son Shaving 800
 
Loving Parents Empower Kids

 

You can raise assertive children by practicing the formula within your family. Advise your kids to use it with others too. If you do, they'll learn to speak up for themselves, make friends, and become respectful communicators too.

Watch our brief video on assertiveness:

 

 

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