Stop the Tattling! 6 Positive Parenting Solutions - 7 Helpful Examples

Frustrated Mom 893
 
You Can't Plug Your Ears to Tattletales.

 

Frustrated parents dread tattling. The squeals from crying kids disturb peace, upset nerves, and demand attention.

You can’t plug your ears and hope it will go away. You must act. But how?

Today’s Slide Share Offers You:

  • The best question to ask tattlers
  • 6 tips parents can easily use
  • 7 examples that teach kids the difference between tattling and telling

What Tattletale Kids Need to Know:

  1. The purpose of tattling is to get someone in trouble.
  2. The purpose of telling is to help someone in trouble.
  3. Parents don't like tattling. They do like telling.
  4. Kids can solve problems with the right assertiveness tools from parents. See video below.

How Parents Teach Kids The Difference Between Tattling and Telling:

You can give them discussion dilemmas and ask, “Is this tattling or telling?” Here are a few you can use right now.

 

Boy Student
 
Is This Tattling or Telling?

 

  1. Logan’s not playing fair.
  2. Harper got stung by a bee.
  3. Mia’s making fun of me.
  4. Aiden tore up my homework.
  5. Sofia called me a name.
  6. Luke was hit by a rock.
  7. Zoey’s mocking me.
  8. Jack called me a liar.
  9. Sam stole money from grandma’s purse.

Discuss each situation. Find out how your child thinks. If he is wrong, tell him, “I need to know when someone is hurt, in danger, needs help, or did something serious like stealing.”

“But if it’s a squabble between you and the other person, do your best to solve it. Then come and tell me how you did it. I’d like to hear your solution."

You don’t have to plug your ears. You do need to act because your children need to learn the difference between tattling and telling. They need to learn how to solve their tattling problems too.

Your Tattling Slide Share Tips:

For the 6 parenting tips and 7 new examples of tattling or telling go to Stop The Tattling - 6 Positive Parenting Solutions The pictures will help your child decide. 

 

 

Frustrated Mom SlideShare
 
You CAN Stop the Tattling!

 

 

You might also like this video because it give kids tools for solving their squabbles:

How Parents Teach Assertiveness Skills to Kids

 

 

To refresh the 7 tips for listening to your child's solutions:

These 7 Tips Turn Tattletales into Problem-Solvers

 

Listening 800 H
 
Listen to Your Child's Solutions. It's Rewarding!

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

These 7 Parenting Questions Turn Tattletales into Problem-Solvers - Video Included

Listening 800 H
 
Listening Is the Key to Stopping the Tattling

 

Parents yell, “Stop Tattling!”

Listening to tattling is like scratching a swollen mosquito bite. If you listen to it over and over, it will get worse. Tattling becomes your child’s  habit.  Screaming becomes your cure, but only for the moment.

There is a better way. Today we’ll show a video to stop the tattling. You’ll see within the video a father who asks his daughter,

“Are you trying to help or hurt your sister?”

If she’s tattling to get her sister in trouble, he tells her:

“Please try to solve the problem yourself. Then come back and tell me how you solved it.”

Two Parenting Goals for Problem-Solving

  1. To increase problem-solving with your positive attention.
  2. To decrease tattling.
Daughter Listening 900
 
Listening Is the Gift Your Child Wants

 

The Problem-Solving Gift

Imagine you’re the girl’s father. When she returns to share her solution, listen. Good listening is a hug without words. It is filled with your attention. It is peaceful and loving. It is your gift to her.

How Listening Shows Caring:

Good listening avoids judging or arguing. It really wants to know your child’s thoughts and feelings. If there is something you don’t understand, ask questions after she’s done speaking.

Here is what you might say when your child shares her solution:

  1. Let’s talk about your solution.
  2. What voice did you use and what did you say?
  3. How did it end?
  4. How did you feel after you solved it?
  5. What do you need to do to avoid a conflict next time?
  6. What do you think of your becoming a problem-solver?
  7. Can you guess how proud I am of you?

In the end, you want your child to be able to say, “ You really listened. You really care about how I think.”

Listening is a gift that can be used over and over in many different situations, not just tattling. Why? Because listening with love is what your child wants.  It creates a bond with your child and harmony in your home. Yes, it takes more time and it is rewarding. It is a great way to teach problem-solving. 

This brief video shares more ways to stop the tattling: 

Tattletale Kids: 10 Tips for Frustrated Parents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4Z3fh0VzRw

 

 

You might also like this article:

How Parents Stop Kids from Tattling on Sibs

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/article/206

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Locked-Down Parents with Tattletale Kids - Here's Help

Frustrated Momma 450

Is your tattletale kid driving you crazy? Do you know why your child tattles? Today, we will share 4 big reasons kids snitch, 3 important questions to ask, and simple ways to stop the tattling and keep your sanity.

Some Reasons for Tattling Behavior:

  1. Attention
  2. Power
  3. Revenge
  4. Pity

Kids tattle on brothers and sisters because they want your attention and approval. Some children want power over a younger child. Others want to get back at a sibling. Younger kids want your pity and hugs. They all want you to take their side. 

Jackie Little Bobby 450
 
When They Tattle, What Will You Do?

 

Advice and Answers: What Parents Need to Teach Kids Who Tattle

Children need to know the difference between helping and hurting. Helping siblings who have a serious problem or are in danger needs a parent’s attention. It is not tattling when kids tell parents about danger.

Tattling hurts because its goal is to get a sister or brother in trouble. Tattling prompts parents to yell in frustration. When that happens, the tattling problem does not get solved and bad feelings linger within the family.

Teaching kids to help their siblings and not hurt them has tons of benefits. Children learn to play well together. Laughter and cooperation grow. The family atmosphere is pleasant.

Read More

Find out the 3 important questions parents must ask themselves and 4 typical examples of kids tattling with simple ways to solve each situation.

How Parents Stop Kids from Tattling on 'Sibs.'  

Father Daughter Talk 2 450
 
Are You Tattling to Help or Hurt?

 

Read Now:  How Parents Stop Kids from Tattling on 'Sibs.'  

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

How Parents and Kids Conquer Fear - a Powerful Technique

Emotion Meter 800
 
Conquers Fear in Parents and Children

Imagine fear invading your mind like a virus. It infects your mind with thoughts. It’s all you can think about.

  1. Will I get sick?
  2. Will my kids get sick?
  3. What about my job?

So many thoughts recycling over and over that you:

  1. Forget what you’re about to do.
  2. Talk harshly.
  3. Make mistakes.
  4. Feel tight inside.
  5. Forget to breathe.

Now imagine your child watching you. He’s seen the news. He’s aware that things are bad and wonders:

Self-pity Asian Boy
 
Kids worry too.

 

  1. Am I safe?
  2. Will my parents protect me?
  3. What will happen to my family?

Fear has infected him too.

How Parents Are Mentally Stronger than Children:

You’ve battled difficult situations and painful feelings many times in your life. You are a mind warrior because somehow, you’ve come through.

Your child is much less experienced than you and lacks the mental weapons you possess, even if you don’t know you possess them.

Remember this. It’s the frightful thoughts that wage war in your mind and cause your fear. You’ve battled them before. How will you deal with them now?

Today I’ll share the Emotion Meter (Sometimes called the Mood Meter) to use personally and then with your child. Use it as often as needed. Be a warrior again and teach your child to be a warrior too.

Girl Closed Eyes
 
The Emotion Meter Uses
Your Child's Powerful
Mind.

 

Read more

 

 

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

The Virus - How Parents Calm Children in 9 Easy Steps

Scientist 800
 
This Drawing Technique Helps Kids Overcome Fear

 

The coronavirus scares your child.

“Mom, are we safe?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will we get sick too?”

Disaster news is everywhere. TV, newspapers, social media and even billboard reminders are appearing in some places.

Children are home. Parents are home. Everyone is scared.

Today's 3 Practical Parenting Steps:

  1. Review the 9 listening skills.
  2. Learn the drawing technique by using it to calm yourself first.
  3. Teach the drawing technique to your child. 

 

9 Listening Skills Effective Parents Need

Review the following listening tips:

  1. Listen with direct eye contact, a caring smile and both ears.
  2. Ask questions to be sure you understand.
  3. Be patient. Give enough time for your child to form thoughts.
  4. Repeat your child's ideas in your own words. Follow up with, “Is that correct?”
  5. Encourage continued sharing by saying, “Tell me more.”
  6. Walk in your child's shoes. With empathy try to feel what he’s feeling.
  7. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Listen to the end.
  8. Share your thoughts after your child's finished..
  9. Begin by reflecting feelings. “It sounds like you’re (upset or sad or confused, etc.).”

You Are the Best Counselor for Your Kids

Asian Mom and Daughter
 
Kids Trust Parents to Help Them

 

As a counselor for many years, I’ve used the drawing strategy below with children and adults. It works. Why? Because it's a unique way of understanding feelings, especially fears. 

When you listen well, teach practical skills and show caring, your child trusts you and feels loved. Love and trust make you the most powerful counselor of all.

9 Ways Parents Can Calm Themselves and Their Children

Dad and Son Drawing 865
 
Drawing Calms Your Kid's Anxiety

 

  1. Ask your boy or girl to, “Draw a picture of the fear.”
  2. Probe Gently: “What does your picture mean to you?”
  3. Say, “Tell me more,” several times until you hear all the anxious thoughts.
  4. Say, “Draw how you would like to feel.” Then say, “Tell me about your new picture.”
  5. Suggest, “Let's brainstorm what you could do to make your picture come true.” Wait patiently for your child’s ideas first.
  6. Say, “Write down 3 small ways you can make your positive picture come true.
  7. Say, “Pick one little step to try now." 
  8. Instruct your child, "Visualize your new picture clearly. Feel it and give it a positive title. Then post it on the fridge." Give your child all the time he or she needs.
  9.  Praise your child for calming his fear.

Discuss the second and third small steps in the following days to reinforce over time what has been learned.

Drawing an optimistic picture gives your child power over the fear. By visualizing it, feeling it and giving it a positive title, your child changes his scary mindset. Posting it on the fridge becomes a strong reminder to "stay calm and carry on." Use this technique as often as your child needs.

Consider applying it for any painful emotion your child may experience. You could even use it as a home schooling strategy.

You might like this video because it also reinforces the steps:

How Parents Help Anxious Kids Feel Confident

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Permissive Parenting – 3 Ways to Recapture Your Parental Authority

Permissive Parent ppt 800 (2)
 
When Permissive Parents Bribe, Kids Are The Boss

 

Permissiveness, parenting without structure and guidance, and over-negotiating rules and chores hurt your authority. Your kids are injured too. 

How Permissive Parents Harm Kids

  1. Without parental structure and direction, your kids won’t know the path to a successful life. They may follow a destructive trail and hurt themselves instead.
  2. Without parental supervision about right and wrong expect your kids to experience trouble and pain.
  3. Without responsible chores they will lack the life skills for future know-how and self-care.

How to Overcome Permissive Parenting and Take Back Your Authority

Man Mediatating ppt 624

 
Bribing Doesn't Work. Your Mind Power Does.

 

  1. Visualize yourself as a kind and firm parent with your child. (See your child not yourself.)
  2. Feel what it's like to be a kind and firm parent.
  3. Tell yourself, “I am kind and firm with my child.”

Put all 3 into one magic moment so that you see, feel, and say them all at once.

Do this before you fall asleep at night and before you rise each morning. Do this for 21 days. If you do, you’ll regain your authority and become the parent you need to be. Make it a habit.

This Kind but Firm Video Helps You Be the Authority and Your Kids Do Their Chores:

 

You Might Also Like:

Raising Responsible Kids – How to Get Your Children To Do Their Chores  It includes a 4-Point Formula.

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

The Patience Plan - Don’t Go Crazy When Kids Are Lazy

Don't Get Angry 450
 
You CAN Become a Patient Effective Parent

 

“My kids won’t help. They make me mad. I blow my stack.” Do you feel the same way?

The Patience Plan for Parents

1. Go outside. Breathe fresh air.

    Tell yourself, “I’m breathing patience in and blowing anger out.” Do this until you feel calm.

2. Get rational. Realize your kids are lazy for their own reasons. 

    a.Consider this belief: people do things for positive reasons. Even when they do wrong it’s for reasons that  benefit them.

    It’s the same with kids. Ask yourself, “What are they getting out of not doing their chores?”

    b. Could it be any of these:

  • They might want more playtime with friends or video games.
  • They might want more cell phone time.
  • They might want to relax after an exhausting day at school.

The best way to find out is to ask them. Why? Because we can’t know exactly what anyone is thinking. And that goes for our children too.

 

Latina Mom 450
 
Ask, Don't Tell.

 

  1. Discuss the situation with your kids. Find out what they want. Tell them what you want. Ask them, “How can we both win?” Brainstorm solutions together.

Calm rational parents get more cooperation from their children. Why? Because they take the time to understand their kids. They teach them the concept of “win-win” too.

 

For 9 More Ways to Deal with Lazy Children:

Calm Parent
 
You CAN Handle Lazy Kids with Patience

 Go to: https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 


Keeping Your Love Alive – 10 Keys for Parents

Valentine Couple 624
How Parents Become Loving Couples

 

CHILDREN WANT THEIR PARENTS TO LOVE EACH OTHER. Parents want the same. But what stops some couples? Here are some possibilities:

  1. Busyness
  2. Distractions
  3. Communication Problems
  4. Disrespect
  5. Money Issues
  6. Lack of Time
  7. Fighting
  8. Stubbornness
  9. Jealously

Should any of the above affect your marriage, things can get better. The 10 keys to a loving marriage come from a unique marriage counselor who thought outside the box.

Icon Key and Heart Locket

Unlocking the Heart to Your
Relationship

 

Some of them surprised me even though they made perfect sense. They came from a era when many women were stay-at-home moms. Perhaps the advice about child care might intrigue you. 

There are suggestions about criticism, decision making, money, compromising situations with the opposite sex, physical affection, and more.

I hope you will find the 10 keys practical, modern, and needed today.

Choose the ones you like. Increase those suggestions in your daily relationship. Then see if, they unlock a happier love life for you and your spouse.

Black Couple Valentines 800

You CAN Create a Loving Marriage 

 

Pick up this gift by inserting the code word,

LOVE

at

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Download your FREE copy now!

 

Like this post? Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Chore Card Tip - Moms Don't Yell nor Kids Rebel

To-Do Chores 624
        
Building Family Teams and Life Skills

Mothers meltdown when they’re stressed, overworked, and exhausted. When  patience flies out the window,  rage stomps through the door. The yelling begins.

  1. “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”
  2. “Who spilled juice all over the floor?”
  3. “Who left their bike in the rain?”
  4. “You kids are so lazy!”
  5. “Get in here and clean this mess up!”

Who can blame frazzled moms? They’re out of patience, energy, and practical solutions. Yelling comes easy and it works when kids jump up to help.

But when rage happens too often, kids get used to it. They stop jumping up. They pout and fume inside. They blame the yeller.

Unless moms solve the problems with a practical plan, rage will stamp out good will and everyone will be angry. Home life becomes miserable.

Problem Solving Plan for Kids' Chores:

Write chores on separate cards for each child to complete before dinner. Lay the cards on the kitchen counter.  You can make chore cards for different days of the week or for regular daily chores. 

To Do Tasks 624
Chore Cards Name Each Child's Task

 

Lined 4" X 6" Chore Cards work well too. They  don't have to be fancy.

Sample Chores for Kids:

  1. Clean sink and counter after snacks.
  2. Do homework.
  3. Make bed.
  4. Put toys away.
  5. Feed animals.

The chores you choose are up to you. Why not involve the kids in creating the list at a family meeting? When kids have input, they're more likely to cooperate.

You may even choose to create a chore card for after dinner cleanup.

  1. Clear table.
  2. Put leftovers away.
  3. Scrape dishes.
  4. Put dishes in dishwasher.
  5. Empty Garbage.

Be Reasonable:

  1. Don't add so many chores that kids can't relax or play. They need both.
  2. Avoid discouraging your child by adding chores that are too difficult.
  3. Let teachers know when their homework load is turning your child's love for learning into hate for school.

Advantages of Chore Cards:

The beauty of Chore Cards is parents don't need to remind kids what to do. Kids just look at the cards and complete the tasks on their own time. 

Chore Cards are an easy way to build a family team and teach kids the skills they need for life. 

Learning Tools You May Like:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

Chore Chart Kit

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

 


4 Careless Behaviors that Trigger Anger in Moms – Solutions Included

Anger Triggers
 
Overworked Moms Lose Their Tempers.

 

Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.

Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”

Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.

Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”

Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.

Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”

The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.

They’ve heard it all before.

Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.

4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:

  1. Messy kids' bedrooms
  2. Dirty dishes in sink
  3. Filthy floor
  4. Loud video games

Exhausted Moms and Guilt

 “This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”

 

Bigstock-happy-indian-family-outdoors-l-67083247
 
This was my dream of raising kids

What to Do?

  1. Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
  2. Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
  3. Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
  4. Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.

What to Include in the Family Meeting:

  1. Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
  2. Avoid making it a complaint session.
  3. Start with compliments for all.
  4. Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
  5. Write down solutions from each member.
  6. Group picks the best solutions.
  7. Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
  8. Post the commitments on the fridge.
  9. End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.

Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.

Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:

Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.

Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.

Related Video:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

 

 

You might also like:

33 Family Meetings Kids Love

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/product/kdeb003

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

Sign up for my FREE Parenting News and receive:

  • 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
  • 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate